Will there ever be friendship after a breakup?
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imagine u still harbour feelings for her n all she tok abt is her current bf or all the guys tat r wooing her..Originally posted by pierre^^:Well but she can be the one who listen to all your heart talk, your problems and worries
There is no need for a hug or a kiss.
A listening ear will do
If you are in the relationship long enuff, you can be totally relaxed and talk about anithing -
well i am still trying to masterOriginally posted by monoslayer:imagine u still harbour feelings for her n all she tok abt is her current bf or all the guys tat r wooing her..
to love someone is to let her go -
sad to say, tats no shortcut. u gotta learn it through the hard way.Originally posted by pierre^^:well i am still trying to master
to love someone is to let her go -
cant deny more ,so its best to sever ties to saveOriginally posted by monoslayer:imagine u still harbour feelings for her n all she tok abt is her current bf or all the guys tat r wooing her..
ur own heartache -
yes, if both parties are on the level that they are JUST friends and nothing more than that,
then its possible, if not the previous relationship will always be a drag on the next relationship.
and thats no good
on the other hand, better just to sever everything
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tried.
it's very hard.
even if can continue to be frens, it wun be the same as the days before being together. -
i dont think it is possible.
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How many guys outside can face the reality that their ex-gfs whom they used to be so intimate togather (aiya...fcuked before, in layman's term) and still get to meet up after break up?
If both are still single, then most prob. it shldn't be a problem...but if the guy's single, but his ex-gf got a new bf....an zua gong? That ex-bf guy can accept or not?
Same applys on the girls too...can face or accept? -
haiz, dun noe how to reply...Originally posted by dcx:
How many guys outside can face the reality that their ex-gfs whom they used to be so intimate togather (aiya...fcuked before, in layman's term) and still get to meet up after break up?
If both are still single, then most prob. it shldn't be a problem...but if the guy's single, but his ex-gf got a new bf....an zua gong? That ex-bf guy can accept or not?
Same applys on the girls too...can face or accept? -
agreed, its recipe for disasterOriginally posted by dcx:
How many guys outside can face the reality that their ex-gfs whom they used to be so intimate togather (aiya...fcuked before, in layman's term) and still get to meet up after break up?
If both are still single, then most prob. it shldn't be a problem...but if the guy's single, but his ex-gf got a new bf....an zua gong? That ex-bf guy can accept or not?
Same applys on the girls too...can face or accept?
the problem is its a double standard situation for us man. The girls will say " you dont trust us isnt it?" but when it s come to us being friends with out ex, they will say " i don tlike xxx with you because both of you have history and i dont know what you can control yourself"
its very difficult for me to accept , it always potential landmines there. the best solution is total break and clean slate.
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I'd like to think the answer to your question actually very much boils down to the individuals in question as maturity and circumstances surrounding the breakup will go a long way towards dictating whether any reconciliation(in terms of being platonic friends) is possible.Originally posted by Tissot1853:with a girl for 5 years, broke up because of long distance relatonship, character difference or maybe because we just grew tired of each other aft so many years.
when breaking up we have a nice heart to heart talk and promise that we shd keep in contact as we know each other too well n can be confiding frens for each other if we have problems in life.
we still write emails to each other but when I came back to sgp n ask her out she give me excuses. I cant say tat I have move on very well but I m those kind who know that one should not dwell over smething impossible. I met up with all my frens during this short stay in sgp to say hi to everybody except her.
so m wondering will ther ever be friendship after a relationship? I feel it is sad that I cant be fren with smeone who understands me well.
thks for readingt his post.
That said, even if that's possible, whether it actually happens(ie.whether the friendship can be sustained in the long run) depends on how both parties make the concerted effort to stay in touch - personally, I've never had any sort of a relationship with anyone(male or female and I'm not just speaking about romantic relationships here) that transcends beyond that of an acquaintance with people who do not make the effort/take the initiative to stay in contact because quite simply, such people are just not worth my time IMO. -
Possible. 2 of my exes are still my good friends. we confide in each other when we meet huge problems in life.Originally posted by Tissot1853:with a girl for 5 years, broke up because of long distance relatonship, character difference or maybe because we just grew tired of each other aft so many years.
when breaking up we have a nice heart to heart talk and promise that we shd keep in contact as we know each other too well n can be confiding frens for each other if we have problems in life.
we still write emails to each other but when I came back to sgp n ask her out she give me excuses. I cant say tat I have move on very well but I m those kind who know that one should not dwell over smething impossible. I met up with all my frens during this short stay in sgp to say hi to everybody except her.
so m wondering will ther ever be friendship after a relationship? I feel it is sad that I cant be fren with smeone who understands me well.
thks for readingt his post. -
Yes it is possible IF you currently do not have anybody in your life. I think if you have a bf now how can he approve of it without getting jealous?Originally posted by blu_sky:Possible. 2 of my exes are still my good friends. we confide in each other when we meet huge problems in life.
Despite what you think about man, we are a very petty species, down to the bone when it come to issues like this.
Also , what is your viewpoint if you have a bf and his exes are still his good friends and they do see each other, and she is HOT!! how? -
this is the best solution after many thoughts over it, its the idea of the sex between them in the past that will bothers me and if they are still in touch regularly will put me off and the suspicions level are high if they are meeting alone for coffee or whateverOriginally posted by ski8:cant deny more ,so its best to sever ties to save
ur own heartache -
Totally agree. Then gotta be more considerate when you are attached. When you are attached, your gf/bf should be your priority, so gotta be sensitive to her/his feelings. Of cos, getting attached doesnt mean that you gotta cut off all contacts with all friends of opposite sex, juz gotta be very sensitive to your bf/gf's feelings.Originally posted by Space1999:Yes it is possible IF you currently do not have anybody in your life. I think if you have a bf now how can he approve of it without getting jealous?
Despite what you think about man, we are a very petty species, down to the bone when it come to issues like this.
Also , what is your viewpoint if you have a bf and his exes are still his good friends and they do see each other, and she is HOT!! how?
My ex was still very much in touch with his ex gf when we were together, and they did go out alone with my 'consent'. Well, relationship is not a jail. Of cos, he gotta win my trust for that to happen. -
for example?Originally posted by blu_sky:Totally agree. Then gotta be more considerate when you are attached. When you are attached, your gf/bf should be your priority, so gotta be sensitive to her/his feelings. Of cos, getting attached doesnt mean that you gotta cut off all contacts with all friends of opposite sex, juz gotta be very sensitive to your bf/gf's feelings.
we are talking about exes. not friends of opposite sex. if you are attached , should we still be good friends with our ex? -
EG yes, i will still be good friends with my exes when im attached, but i'll not meet up with them too often cos as i said, my bf who is my priority will need my time too rite?Originally posted by Space1999:for example? we are talking about exes. not friends of opposite sex. if you are attached , should we still be good friends with our ex?
I'm sure they, being my good friends, can understand this. Vice versa, i will also understand they wont have much time for me when they are attached.
Anywayz, good friends to me means, people who will be there when you need them and i will be there for them too when the need arise. Don't have to see everyday one rite? -
i guess you have to have a very understanding bf because for me i dont think i can take it and it will be always a point of discontent and possible source for quarrel. I would prefer that she sever all tiesOriginally posted by blu_sky:EG yes, i will still be good friends with my exes when im attached, but i'll not meet up with them too often cos as i said, my bf who is my priority will need my time too rite?
I'm sure they, being my good friends, can understand this. Vice versa, i will also understand they wont have much time for me when they are attached.
Anywayz, good friends to me means, people who will be there when you need them and i will be there for them too when the need arise. Don't have to see everyday one rite? -
Guess im lucky? or it is actually the types of guys i look for and i had earned the trust?Originally posted by Space1999:i guess you have to have a very understanding bf because for me i dont think i can take it and it will be always a point of discontent and possible source for quarrel. I would prefer that she sever all ties
My ex bf 2 didnt mind me being friends with ex bf 1 when i was with him. and bf3 dun mind me being friends with ex bf 2 and ex bf 1. Of cos, i had only met my ex bf 1 like once a year (other forms of communication are via phone) and met ex bf 2 more often cos we have many many common friends and colleagues. I think i also had earned the trust. Trust is fundamental to a relationship. -
so its like a chain? what if bf4 mind you being friends with ex ex ex. sorry it just keep building up the list.Originally posted by blu_sky:Guess im lucky? or it is actually the types of guys i look for and i had earned the trust?
My ex bf 2 didnt mind me being friends with ex bf 1 when i was with him. and bf3 dun mind me being friends with ex bf 2 and ex bf 1. Of cos, i had only met my ex bf 1 like once a year (other forms of communication are via phone) and met ex bf 2 more often cos we have many many common friends and colleagues. I think i also had earned the trust. Trust is fundamental to a relationship.
for me , i cant accept it, the sex factor will always be there. in fact there should be a poll,
will there ever be sex after a breakup? -
LOL! hopefully it will stop at bf3!Originally posted by Space1999:so its like a chain? what if bf4 mind you being friends with ex ex ex. sorry it just keep building up the list.
for me , i cant accept it, the sex factor will always be there. in fact there should be a poll,
will there ever be sex after a breakup? 
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HI
I and my 1st b/f broke up because of long distance as I went overseas. Then he came across the ocean to see me and hope to get in touch with me as he has been trying to do so at home. But whenever I see his message, I delete and although he has asked to be friends, I feel it hard. I have not given him a chance to meet me again until now ...for 6 yrs. My 2nd b/f , we also borke up b/c of long distance as he left for overseas (maybe I receive consequence in return for leaving the first). I have tried to get in touch to be friends with him and he agreed, but then it is hard to be friends, we both decided not to email anymore, except say Happy New Year. We move on. My heart twists everytime I read the email, but to see him, NO. I will feel very hard to move on.Originally posted by Tissot1853:with a girl for 5 years, broke up because of long distance relatonship, character difference or maybe because we just grew tired of each other aft so many years.
when breaking up we have a nice heart to heart talk and promise that we shd keep in contact as we know each other too well n can be confiding frens for each other if we have problems in life.
we still write emails to each other but when I came back to sgp n ask her out she give me excuses. I cant say tat I have move on very well but I m those kind who know that one should not dwell over smething impossible. I met up with all my frens during this short stay in sgp to say hi to everybody except her.
so m wondering will ther ever be friendship after a relationship? I feel it is sad that I cant be fren with smeone who understands me well.
thks for readingt his post. -
im confused now! its like maths for me now --------- so you are saying you are at bf 3 now? and he is okay with ex bf 1 and bf 2? are you sure? did you ask him?Originally posted by blu_sky:LOL! hopefully it will stop at bf3!
sorry kids we are not talking about carparks and bananas in pyjamas. -
Battlefield 3?Originally posted by blu_sky:LOL! hopefully it will stop at bf3! 
I oredi buey tahan Battlefield 2142 loh... -
correct! there is always some remaining or residue feelings that you might not be awared of sitting in your heart, and this could be the ignition key for another affair,and in the end you will hurt your current beauOriginally posted by transaihien:HI
I and my 1st b/f broke up because of long distance as I went overseas. Then he came across the ocean to see me and hope to get in touch with me as he has been trying to do so at home. But whenever I see his message, I delete and although he has asked to be friends, I feel it hard. I have not given him a chance to meet me again until now ...for 6 yrs. My 2nd b/f , we also borke up b/c of long distance as he left for overseas (maybe I receive consequence in return for leaving the first). I have tried to get in touch to be friends with him and he agreed, but then it is hard to be friends, we both decided not to email anymore, except say Happy New Year. We move on. My heart twists everytime I read the email, but to see him, NO. I will feel very hard to move on.
so its best not to see each other