My Wife lied to me..
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Ok , I just got latest new abt my wife affair .WE are OVER.
Thanks for you all. BYE -
Dear Topic Starter,
I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you. Just wanna add a note that you might not know.
According to lawyers, evidence of an affair is only valid to be used in the divorce is only valid for 6months from the time the affair started.
I got this info from a fren whose 3month marriage is ending
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Point taken.Originally posted by Devil1976:Now you're sounding logical in many senses.
You'll have to understand that we can have many logics within us each day. As much as they might sound 'logical' from our point of view, they need not necessarily be even applicable to certain situations. Hence we have to be careful of what we utter.
The problem in this situation here is that the woman lied. And this is a BIG deal that should not be skipped over.
doko -
Hang on, knowing u very hot now. U need to cool down. Sometime becos of angry any words can come out of the mouth. If she is the kind don't have many friends to talk to regarding her problem it's very easy for her to fall for guy who know her needs. U need to be soft to her and talk nicely and find out the root cos. She maybe the kind dun really tell u her problem unless you dig out or discover by yourself.Originally posted by lostboy1978:Ok , I just got latest new abt my wife affair .WE are OVER.
Thanks for you all. BYE
Cool man u only 29, blood boil easily. -
:married to you because she cannot afford to carry a big stomache around
:problems already occured b4 start of marriage
:you should be around 29? i assume ur wife should be around ur age? as long as haven cross over a certain maturity period shes actually still in the happy go party mood , definitely not into marriage. The sense of responsibilty is not there as a wife or a mother -
Sometimes it's just not quite right for you to decide for the TS whether the 'lie' should be an issue to be skipped over. Afterall, this marriage might really mean something for him?Originally posted by dokono:Point taken.
The problem in this situation here is that the woman lied. And this is a BIG deal that should not be skipped over.
doko -
3 months only?Originally posted by the_don:Dear Topic Starter,
I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you. Just wanna add a note that you might not know.
According to lawyers, evidence of an affair is only valid to be used in the divorce is only valid for 6months from the time the affair started.
I got this info from a fren whose 3month marriage is ending 
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Hmm.Originally posted by lostboy1978:Ok , I just got latest new abt my wife affair .WE are OVER.
Thanks for you all. BYE -
moral of the story. woman lie like an idiot .
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I think until now u are not certain that she is seeing that guy.
Are u a very possessive husband? As in dun let her have night life or go back home too late? If you are, then I think it's no wonder that she find some frens to go out and have fun until very late.
You dun trust your wife. Perhaps before u married her, u already lost that trust. But the baby looks like u, and so u gave her the benefit of the doubt.
I think it was too impuslive of you to warn that fren of hers.
I think it's too early to talk about divorce now. What if u have really wronged her? You are seriously going to regret it.
Perhaps what u can do is go and look for her, apologise, and have a good heart to heart talk, and to clear things up. -
I think Adultery don't need to pay... woman's faultOriginally posted by missqi:PI.
Dont divorce.
need give alimony and 50% of assets. -
bro... chill out....
getting divorce is not as simple....
& its definately won't solve the problem...
i think u should seek help... councling...
even if yr wife wife seeing another man..
its not the end of everything....
u sure can work this out....
be patience..
if all els fails.... pray....
praying helps...
all the best bro...
i know how u feel... -
oh yea! at last!Originally posted by missqi:PI.
Dont divorce.
need give alimony and 50% of assets.
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I think this is a good example to all family that earning money is not the only thing in yr mind for a healthy family. Must strike a balance of earning money and enjoying with each other. The threadstarter complaining he is doing all the hard work earning money for the family and never unfaithful to wife.But wife still left in the end.Originally posted by lostboy1978:Ok , I just got latest new abt my wife affair .WE are OVER.
Thanks for you all. BYE
Maybe u shall slow down yr career pace and spend more time with yr family.
What is the point if u can afford Benz and Ferrari for her if u are not the one driving her around? I think she will be more please with a Kia if u r the driver for her..... -
Hey, pls don't "BYE" so soon. Let us help you! Some of us might have been thru what you are going thru now. I'm sure someone can give you good advice (some already have).Originally posted by lostboy1978:Ok , I just got latest new abt my wife affair .WE are OVER.
Thanks for you all. BYE
Yunhaier teacher! where are you? -
nil
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IM INTERESTED IN YOUR AFFAIR!
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Your comment is much unnecessary.Originally posted by joker_sg_forums1:I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR AFFAIRS...U SOUND FAKE TO ME...
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I think both of you should sit down and talk openly and calmly. Both of you have been presuming too many things.......... Get the facts straighten out first before humping to hasty conclusions, as both of you seem to be doing.
You are presuming she's been 'cheating' on you while she's presuming that you are accusing her of doing just that. At the end of the day, there could be very simple and innocent reasons for certain actions interpreted in the most negative way........
Besides, you have kids. I would strongly urge you both to work things out as mature adults and parents should. Good luck!
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Woah... so fiery in here.
/me sneak in... dropped note and vanished into thin air
*** Your marriage seemed to have began on a wrong footing and this is worsen by the fact that the both of you do not seem to be emotionally prepared and especially maturity is critically missing.
A hasty ROM was announced after a short, violent separation, which was followed by another break up, which was thought to be the end of the relationship. She was pregnant with your child (as stated), and you are probably 'left with little choices' but to continue the marriage.
I regress the timeline - you are likely to be married young (my guess calculation is about 24+)... a relatively young father and husband in fact, in comparison to other Singaporean males here.
I read through this thread carefully and wonder if you may actually realize this: your wife doesn't seemed very pleased with your chauvinist and suspicious nature throughout this relationship (before and after marriage). And you seemed to have issues with the two qualities or at least the manner which you bring your message/idea across communication.
It might be a strong possibility.... that the reason behind wanting a part-time employment could actually be an escapism/avoidance tactic to certain unpleasant, yet unmentioned issues in the house, or namely your relationship. Albeit I do not condone lying, through yunhaier's analysis, it appear that she may have wanting to work with an intention to get away from your love.
You mean all it takes is only 2 months for her to find an interest for promiscuity?
There is already gnawing dissatisfaction in the marriage - the extra-marital affair is just a catalysis to blow things out of proportion, probably out of emotional suppression. You may have confirmed your finding, but I hope you will still read what I may have to say. Let me ask a simple question, which you could have been thinking all day long:
WHY CHEAT?
Why would she cheat?
I read through your posting - your previous break ups were due to serious arguments, not exactly because of infidelity. I must say that the communication style in your relationship (before and after marriage) is horribly unevolved and you also have a strong tint of chauvinism.Originally posted by lostboy1978:How to cheer up .. women always said you only know work and give money only, 
But if i dont work how to support family?? Must be at home all the time acompany her ma??
Really dont understand women..i work so hard trying to give them a better life she though i got more freedom then her... What's the use of having the whole world, when you lose your soul?
If you were to exchange all your time for bigger houses... bigger cars... and sacrifice human relationship, your marriage risk ending up empty.
Your wife had to resolve this emptiness in the marriage.
She will think to herself: is there all to her relationship? All to life?
I will cite another posting which suggested strong chauvinism ideology:Originally posted by lostboy1978:My kids is 3 n 2...
If everything went out well its ok.. but if cannot then we separate 1st then see how.
I got a feeling it wont last, But i feel ok to take take of the kids by myself.
Have another relationship again?? NO WAY MAN, where to find women willing to take care of children and do house work nowadays... So you are just dumping the traditional woman's chore to the woman herself?
Together with the lack of affection and appreciation, it's no wonder that the woman will be emotionally frustrated and seek to fill up this gap with something drastic.
Note that I also do not condone cheating, it's just that when things happen, do we go finger pointing and blasting blames at one another? Or do we acknowledge part of this 'blame responsibility' in a cracked marriage? When we talk about the trust factor - you can easily claim that she lied to you and that's distrust, while I can also point that you married her and wondering if the child was indeed yours.
So what will happen if the child turns out to be somebody's flesh and blood? Perhaps some one night stand? What would you do? You think that your child looks a bit like you and you decides that he/she is your child - now... how accurate would that be?
Mistrust existed all over - even the hasty marriage began on dubious grounds, therefore, I don't expect this marriage to be harmonious or smooth flowing.
The act of infidelity may actually be more of a push factor from you than a pull factor from external environment because I don't seriously think that someone can go out there, work a fringing part time work (perhaps that's only few days in a week kind?) and end up in extra-marital affairs. It almost seemed like a 'desperate' measure to do something drastic.
She already has that vulnerability and the desire to free her suppressed emotional condition. I also must add the fact that this suppressed condition may have probably first taken place when she realized that she is pregnant and was left with little choice other than telling you about it and hoping that you would marry her. Even if she was unhappy with you, what choice does she has? To be an unwed single mum?
Bad reason for marriage will beget tumultuous marriage - No relationship can escape the cosmic lesson Love will attempt to teach. Elements and qualities that one has failed to learn in BGR, shall learn in marriage - probably at twice the cost.
P.S: Before you sentence your marriage to death, allow yourself and her a chance to talk like matured adults. Yes, she has cheated on you, but always talk first and judge later. Find out what's wrong and see what options you might have first, before throwing your finale move.
Cheers -
cloud sea goose in da house!!!
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Originally posted by skeujin:cloud sea goose in da house!!!
ehh ur chinese not bad sia..
lol. -
i always get high marks in school 9/10Originally posted by browniebaobao:
ehh ur chinese not bad sia..
lol.
F9 la..... -
ya i know..Originally posted by skeujin:i always get high marks in school 9/10
F9 la..... 
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quote:
Originally posted by lostboy1978:
My kids is 3 n 2...
If everything went out well its ok.. but if cannot then we separate 1st then see how.
I got a feeling it wont last, But i feel ok to take take of the kids by myself.
Have another relationship again?? NO WAY MAN, where to find women willing to take care of children and do house work nowadays...
no lei.my dream is to be a housewife.full-time.