Is this a rational decision?
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bluff u for watOriginally posted by kenn3th:
really meh 
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Is she working? How about just invite her to come to visit you without offering to pay for the airfare first? If she's really serious in the relationship, I am sure she will be willing to spend the money (provided she can afford it of course). Worse comes to the worst, you can always offer to pay part of the airfare if not all. This is just a thought anyway.Originally posted by mayday80:I'm interested in a girl but we haven't met for two years. We talk on msn a lot and she said she like me but don't want to start a r/s cos I'll be overseas (I am now) but I'll be back next year.
I want to fly her here and we take a vacation together but I need to buy her the air-ticket (very expensive). Is it rational for me to spend this money when she's not even my gf? It gonna be like a few k total for both of us(me paying).
Bear in mind that the airfare is not the most expensive part but the living expenses.... I believe she'll be staying at your place so you have already, in a way, paid for her accommodation and when you take her out you may be expected to pay for the stuffs (shopping, dinner, entrance tickets etc) you guys are going to do. Of course all these depend on whether she has the mentality of most girls - "Guys should pay for everything" or not.
Good luck!
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After much thought... I"ll try to get a ticket for a reasonable price... but if it's not possible then it's fated this way... if I spend too much I may end up having great expectations which could break the r/s anyway...
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Price of the ticket should not in any way relates to your expectations..imo.
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I know... I mean I can say that I have no expectations from her other than us being happy and stuff... to be honest I'll still feel very lousy if things didn't work out when I come back...
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Well, it's good that you gave it some tots & weigh out the pros & cons.
We won't know what the future holds & the outcome it brings.
The important thing is you act on it. -
No, you are just blinded by love, by the attraction. You are acting on impulse. Why should you pay for her? She is not even your girlfriend. Play it cool dude. How can you be sure she really likes you? Take it slow. If you do not, you are making one damn huge mistake trying to suck up to her. If you do, she is going to take advantage of you in the future. Observe her first. Then commit. Date other girls also. Unless you believe in there is only ONE for you, which is a case of being naive on your part.Originally posted by mayday80:I'm interested in a girl but we haven't met for two years. We talk on msn a lot and she said she like me but don't want to start a r/s cos I'll be overseas (I am now) but I'll be back next year.
I want to fly her here and we take a vacation together but I need to buy her the air-ticket (very expensive). Is it rational for me to spend this money when she's not even my gf? It gonna be like a few k total for both of us(me paying).
doko -
does she think you are getting serious with her?
is she willing to wait till you come back?
She's only currently a friend. I can be friendly with lots of people if I choose and I will give way and show my best as well. The time you had was short, i there any way you can come back and visit her instead? -
what a waste of money, you'll have another 10+ girls in your life. there are a 1000 girls around you wherever you are right now too.
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Yeah kinda... she's willing to wait but I won't set my hopes too high. I'll not be back till mid of next year though... don't think I wanna fly home till then. I'm just thinking that my life here is pretty good and I really don't mind sharing it with a friend I like.Originally posted by mistyblue:does she think you are getting serious with her?
is she willing to wait till you come back?
She's only currently a friend. I can be friendly with lots of people if I choose and I will give way and show my best as well. The time you had was short, i there any way you can come back and visit her instead?
When I told her that I'm willing to fly her here... the ticket prices were at the low end of 1k... but due to her work commitments, she can only be free on a week where ticket prices are more than 2k... that, including my own air ticket and all other misc costs like hotel, car and stuff is gonna cost me way too much... so i think i'll chill on this for the moment.
It's just sad that when i get back to S'pore and we get together... such a nice vacation is always gonna cost a lot. -
mid of next year is only a couple more months away.
If you guys cannot hold out till then.. what's the point of pushing it now.
Sides, as you calculated. you are putting in alot of investment. How about her? Is she expecting you to pay for everything? If that's the case, I would be darn sweet to you over the net too.. Now, put it this way, some of the forum members had also highlighted, that once you start paying out your nose for this trip and if the relationship turn serious. This would set the precedent and standard for all other interactions. ie It might become expected that you are the one who will have to put in the effort and money to make this girl happy of she is gonna mention that you shipped her half way across the globe on your student allowance just to be with her and how romantic if you were to continue this.
Take it as a test to see what she really like since you are so serious bout a girl you only met for a month and the rest of the time is online.
Anyways, you must have a hugh allowance to even think of paying for someone's vacation. On the flip side, if I am the girl, unless the guy is my bf, I would not take up the paid trip. If I were to go, it would be on my expense. But it depends on the circumstance and the girl. Seriously, we do not know the exact details. So these are just general comments. As another forum member said, its your money. You spend it as you see fit. We can't tell you or guarantee whatever the outcome. But we wish you good luck. -
OH!!!so Rin's dear is Rainee!den Rainee's dear is Rin!!!now den i knoe.haha
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wahhh...too much money den gimme leh.joking...Originally posted by mayday80:Yeah kinda... she's willing to wait but I won't set my hopes too high. I'll not be back till mid of next year though... don't think I wanna fly home till then. I'm just thinking that my life here is pretty good and I really don't mind sharing it with a friend I like.
When I told her that I'm willing to fly her here... the ticket prices were at the low end of 1k... but due to her work commitments, she can only be free on a week where ticket prices are more than 2k... that, including my own air ticket and all other misc costs like hotel, car and stuff is gonna cost me way too much... so i think i'll chill on this for the moment.
It's just sad that when i get back to S'pore and we get together... such a nice vacation is always gonna cost a lot.
hmmm...actually if you really got the money to spare den why not?but once you've decided to fork out the money...don expect her to return you the money.
alternatively....maybe she can pay for part of the expenses?coz you r not considered as her bf....if i were her....i will feel bad for expecting you to pay everything... -
what you and her need to do are just get a web-cam and install it to the computer and there you have it, able to see each other.Originally posted by mayday80:I'm interested in a girl but we haven't met for two years. We talk on msn a lot and she said she like me but don't want to start a r/s cos I'll be overseas (I am now) but I'll be back next year.
I want to fly her here and we take a vacation together but I need to buy her the air-ticket (very expensive). Is it rational for me to spend this money when she's not even my gf? It gonna be like a few k total for both of us(me paying). -
Originally posted by Pommes frites:OH!!!so Rin's dear is Rainee!den Rainee's dear is Rin!!!now den i knoe.haha
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yeah... i ate my words and decided to go for it. Live for today and worry abt it tmr... nothing is forever and I'm not expecting anything from her other then we having the most awesome vacation ever and I told her that. Hopefully this will be one very sweet memory no matter what happens in future =)
If u were a girl and u like someone and did not take this offer... u prob dun trust him or like him enough. If the girl trust me enough to come then she deserve whatever good things I can share with her. -
now bought the tickets liao, the girl kinda like seem to be not so nice now... very lost form
now i wonder wth did I go through all this for? -
What do you mean by she is 'seem to be not so nice'?Originally posted by mayday80:now bought the tickets liao, the girl kinda like seem to be not so nice now... very lost form now i wonder wth did I go through all this for? -
It seems like she's not in the mood to talk so much online these days... it just seem like she's colder than before. According to my previous experiences with a limited number of girls... once they start acting like this... it's a sign that they are 'going west'.Originally posted by blu_sky:What do you mean by she is 'seem to be not so nice'?
The money's spent anyway... I can only hope for the best. Will keep updating until the final trip report -
I suggest you reverse what you are doing now.Originally posted by mayday80:It seems like she's not in the mood to talk so much online these days... it just seem like she's colder than before. According to my previous experiences with a limited number of girls... once they start acting like this... it's a sign that they are 'going west'.
The money's spent anyway... I can only hope for the best. Will keep updating until the final trip report
doko -
no turning back le... no refund for air-ticket.Originally posted by dokono:I suggest you reverse what you are doing now.
doko -
so she is confirmed coming over?Originally posted by mayday80:no turning back le... no refund for air-ticket.
I mean you should stop treating her like a princess.
doko -
point taken... I didn't treat her like a princess though.Originally posted by dokono:so she is confirmed coming over?
I mean you should stop treating her like a princess.
doko -
The fact that you were so smitten by her and offered to pay for her air ticket shows this.Originally posted by mayday80:point taken... I didn't treat her like a princess though.
Nvm la, just go along with your plans, perhaps you might learn much more with this experience.
doko -
The ticket is bought, and the trip is all planned... will she come or not? I have no f@rking idea... I hate this uncertainity
Do I always have to learn things the hard way? I do not know. But this is probably my final attempt to believe in romance. I'm not smitten, yet I'm willing to give a lot to someone I like.