A friend Handicapped in Relationships with Gals.Suggestions?
-
I agree with you. Looks really Matter. Most girls will look into that, no offence to guy here. Some ugly,fat guy can have a chio galfriend. Not sure how they do it.Originally posted by Marco_Simone:Facial features cannot change,but
you can change
1)hairstyle
2)dressing
3)skin
4)build
You can change your appearance significantly if you change these 4 variables.
If you look better,you will feel better and that can open up many avenues in life.
Afterall,first impression is always LOOKS right???
By the way,what is his occupation and edn level?
Kenny hold a diploma, working in shipping industry.
I find that when he is silent, other will find him creepy. Can't help much. I heard from him that he Kai Jiao(talk and understand people) quite late during kid's times.
-
MAI TU LIAO LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!Originally posted by browniebaobao:duno him personally so cannot jump to conclusion..
intro him to me lah~~ then i will tell u wat's wrong with him.
Cheers -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:learn to speak up yes..
ask him do sales when he cant even speak well is machiam asking him go bang wall. Many sales ple earn on commission. No sales = eat wind.
X2
Career and relationship are separate entity.
Cheers -
There are parallels. Be more open-minded. At the end of the day, it's all in communication.Originally posted by Yunhaier: X2
Career and relationship are separate entity.
Cheers
Sales has many things to do with communication. The ability to walk up and communicate. Then you have to present yourself to the girl. You have to convince why you must buy the product(you). Then you must get her number and make an appointment. Everything is about talking and how you present an image to the girl. Everything is about communication and sales is about that. Many people have learnt many things through the life experiences in sales. It's not only a career where you can make money but also one where you can learn how to talk to people and in this case, you can apply that in talking to women.
Of course, if you don't want to make sales your career, which by the way, many people do not like, there are other ways. But at the end of the day, it is still the same thing. You still need to learn to talk. You still need to let her know why she must accept you. It is like you going for an interview and you must convince your boss why he/she must accept you. It is the same everywhere.
With time, your experience will be high and you will be able to talk to anyone on anything. You must make the effort first.
doko -
It's ok. Some people are just late bloomers. Some people can be very attractive when they reach at a later age.Originally posted by Meilin86:I agree with you. Looks really Matter. Most girls will look into that, no offence to guy here. Some ugly,fat guy can have a chio galfriend. Not sure how they do it.
Kenny hold a diploma, working in shipping industry.
I find that when he is silent, other will find him creepy. Can't help much. I heard from him that he Kai Jiao(talk and understand people) quite late during kid's times.
Let Kenny have patience in himself. Some people are quiet and some girls like that way. Some girls won't. On the other hand, Kenny can be a loud-mouth talker but some girls will really avoid him. So you see, it's all about the individual girl.
But he has to take the first step in knowing how to present himself well in talking. Maybe he can start talking to not so good-looking girls first, then slowly progress. You don't fly straightaway right?
Be patient.
doko -
Originally posted by dokono:There are parallels. Be more open-minded. At the end of the day, it's all in communication.
Sales has many things to do with communication. The ability to walk up and communicate. Then you have to present yourself to the girl. You have to convince why you must buy the product(you). Then you must get her number and make an appointment. Everything is about talking and how you present an image to the girl. Everything is about communication and sales is about that. Many people have learnt many things through the life experiences in sales. It's not only a career where you can make money but also one where you can learn how to talk to people and in this case, you can apply that in talking to women.
Of course, if you don't want to make sales your career, which by the way, many people do not like, there are other ways. But at the end of the day, it is still the same thing. You still need to learn to talk. You still need to let her know why she must accept you. It is like you going for an interview and you must convince your boss why he/she must accept you. It is the same everywhere.
With time, your experience will be high and you will be able to talk to anyone on anything. You must make the effort first.
doko I was just thinking it doesn't sound quite right to enter the sales industry merely to improve one's ability to tackle woman. It almost seemed like the old army days, where they throw non-swimmer into the pool and left the poor guy to fend for himself, claiming that that is the 'best way' to learn swimming... on the risky assumption that somehow, people will learn to keep their breath above the water level and float.
You are on the same assumption that he would 'somehow' learn to communicate if he is part of the sales industry. Changing one's career is already one major consideration - should he fail, it would not only crush whatever inferior self esteem he has, it will probably introduce other problems, like not making sales target (which implied less income) and more.
I think it's better to have a more wholesome picture.
It's better if he learns to pursue interest, which will not only widen his social circle as he gets to know like-minded people, but also to inculcate communication OUTSIDE work. Even if he were to 'fail' (in whatever definition that means to him), he still limits his problem to emotional aspect of life.
P.S: Anyway, the actual guy in this topic isn't here to relate his problems. Therefore, unless he sees it as an issue hindering his life and wants to seek help, it's quite mundane trying to 'make' him act on something which TS reckon it as a problem, if he doesn't sees it that way.
Cheers -
I think the most important thing is for him to be himself. If he is the guai guai, shy type, no use asking him act the siao-on, chiongster type. If gals cannot accept the way he is, then its just too bad..
At most, go find overseas bride lor. -
just tell ya fren ....chuan2 dao4 qiao2 tou2 zi4 ran2 zhi2 just carry on with life as per normal do not try sian char bor for sake of it otherwise they will see ya fren as unreal hence the rejectionOriginally posted by Meilin86:I have a Singaporean Guy friend, say Kenny(cannot say real name) ") who i know outside. To me,he is a average looking,average income guy, kind and courtesy, athough he may be a bit quiet and abit old fashion type,speak slowly. A Nice Guy,Gentlemen, Guai Guai type one. i said.
But Kenny is 26 but had never had a relationship before. I am thinking such a nice guy, why no girls like him. It is so pity to be single. He told me that he had been so lonely for so many years. His expectation is not high, as long the girl is sweet and able to communicate is enough.
Kenny told me he had try to find girls on friendster,and dunno other websites(those can find friends one). Even on the street or friend's friends, Either he get silent treatment or rejected. So sad of him
As for me as a girl, I am not really understand what other girls think too. What problems is Kenny facing, what should Kenny do for relationship to come to him? What should he change?
Is it instead of being a Nice Guy to have relationships, he got rejected? No Look like 5566?Talents? No vocal speech like the speaker?
I am surprised that no other gals ever sms him nor call him. But i take initiative to call and console him.
Any guys also suffered from this problem can stand up and discussed
Gals can post your feeling/opinion/suggestion on this Nice man,Kenny.
-
u 4get 2 say sign P membership also...Originally posted by FireIce:join sgforums lah
and attend outings
very fast can find one
can try sgpals oso -
think he look like this....Originally posted by dokono:Hey
Is Kenny the one from South Park? "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!"
Hmm...Can you post a pic of him and his vital stats? Is he short or tall? Fat or thin? Ugly or handsome? Average?
Seriously, I think he should not rush into a relationship for the sake of one. There will be one for him one day. Just tell him to focus on his career and he will have a lot of options in the future. And also enjoy his life. Life is short.
He must learn how to talk. He can continue being the nice gentleman but will not accept 2nd class treatment from any girl. There are many courses on how to talk. For a start, he can go join an insurance or mlm company to be a salesman. Salesman are the best talkers. Dress well and exercise well. Sleep well. Live each day as if it is the last day.
doko 
-
tell ur fren dont find gf lah...
ask him 2 work earn more $$$....
once he is rich...
he no need 2 find gals, cos gals will find him...
honestly tats the truth...
unless ur fren wanna find gals who r stil studin...
bt dont lok 4 those nus/ntu students...(cos u will have 10% chances of findin there)....
-
Haha...Originally posted by Yunhaier: I was just thinking it doesn't sound quite right to enter the sales industry merely to improve one's ability to tackle woman. It almost seemed like the old army days, where they throw non-swimmer into the pool and left the poor guy to fend for himself, claiming that that is the 'best way' to learn swimming... on the risky assumption that somehow, people will learn to keep their breath above the water level and float.
You are on the same assumption that he would 'somehow' learn to communicate if he is part of the sales industry. Changing one's career is already one major consideration - should he fail, it would not only crush whatever inferior self esteem he has, it will probably introduce other problems, like not making sales target (which implied less income) and more.
I think it's better to have a more wholesome picture.
It's better if he learns to pursue interest, which will not only widen his social circle as he gets to know like-minded people, but also to inculcate communication OUTSIDE work. Even if he were to 'fail' (in whatever definition that means to him), he still limits his problem to emotional aspect of life.
P.S: Anyway, the actual guy in this topic isn't here to relate his problems. Therefore, unless he sees it as an issue hindering his life and wants to seek help, it's quite mundane trying to 'make' him act on something which TS reckon it as a problem, if he doesn't sees it that way.
Cheers
I see you are too focused on failing.
The issue here is not to be too focused in the result of failure.
You always have to face rejection and learn to accept it and move on. And learn from experiences. In fact, you will have to go through a certain amount of rejection, time and effort in sales before you can make a decent income. Same thing with women. You face the same thing. Everytime she throws you a rejection or objection, you must be thinking on your feet and learn how to counter. Even in office jobs.
It's like Wei Xiaobao. He is quick thinking. That's how he win women's hearts. Salespeople make the best sweet talkers. They know what to say and how to say. They know how to get an idea across.
It is in this learn-by-failing mindset in sales that I find that provides invaluable lessons, that's why I recommend it, not to mention the chance to earn money. He has to try it if he like it.
On the other hand, if he really wants an alternative, there are always alternatives like clubbing, joining clubs, taking a language class, dancing class.
He has to be more proactive. The community centre has tonnes of programs.
I see no problem with this guy communicating. If not, how is it that the threadstarter is able to communicate with him? In fact, I think he is normal. He just needs to this one single girl that will like him.
doko -
Is that Kenny?Originally posted by kengkia:think he look like this....
doko -
the only main issue is this guy is not thick skin and daring enough.
ever notice a guy whose face cannot make it but somehow the girlfriend like a rose ? rose on a cowdung?
seen guys who always msg girls on IRC and wholivesnearyou or rather friendster,even when they visit pubs together in a friend gathering. somehow out of 100 chio bu maybe 1-15 will respond to thier courtship. and the girl might even be his girlfriend somehow in time to come .
so if ur ugly , u must learn to be more thick skin or find someone as ugly as you are. -
Ya,playing the law of probability,even if only 1 out of 100 gals replied,it is hey presto liao!Originally posted by dorwin:seen guys who always msg girls on IRC and wholivesnearyou or rather friendster,even when they visit pubs together in a friend gathering. somehow out of 100 chio bu maybe 1-15 will respond to thier courtship. and the girl might even be his girlfriend somehow in time to come . -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:MAI TU LIAO LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers
ehh.. mai pua wa kang tao leh. -
Merlin might want to encourage him to come in here and tell us what he really thinks.
And if he is happy here, he might want to attend some outings and know more people. The main purpose is to widen social circle, and not come sgf to find gf hor. Altho I know some people do..
No matter how boring or plain a person is, i believe he will ultimately find his better half. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Only one who really appreciates and love him will treat him like a treasure.
So, not to worry too much. It's just a matter of time. -
Originally posted by dokono:Is that Kenny?
doko
-
bbb cannot you are mineOriginally posted by browniebaobao:soli hor, im younger than him.
Jie di lian is impossible for me.
-
Wah piang!!
This one must add to favourite. I also suffering from the same problem...... -
yuriOriginally posted by kengkia:think he look like this.... 
-
Originally posted by dokono:Haha...
I see you are too focused on failing.
The issue here is not to be too focused in the result of failure.
You always have to face rejection and learn to accept it and move on. And learn from experiences. In fact, you will have to go through a certain amount of rejection, time and effort in sales before you can make a decent income. Same thing with women. You face the same thing. Everytime she throws you a rejection or objection, you must be thinking on your feet and learn how to counter. Even in office jobs.
It's like Wei Xiaobao. He is quick thinking. That's how he win women's hearts. Salespeople make the best sweet talkers. They know what to say and how to say. They know how to get an idea across.
It is in this learn-by-failing mindset in sales that I find that provides invaluable lessons, that's why I recommend it, not to mention the chance to earn money. He has to try it if he like it.
On the other hand, if he really wants an alternative, there are always alternatives like clubbing, joining clubs, taking a language class, dancing class.
He has to be more proactive. The community centre has tonnes of programs.
I see no problem with this guy communicating. If not, how is it that the threadstarter is able to communicate with him? In fact, I think he is normal. He just needs to this one single girl that will like him.
doko I think your thoughts are everywhere again - I can only agree with the those in red, since it's about expanding social circle - which is indeed helpful to his plight.
Dude, it's not that I am too focused on failure - you got to have a more holistic picture, especially when you involved things other than love and life isn't just about love as a matter of fact. You will never know if he's drawing strength (and good income) from his current career, doing something that he does best and probably feel positive out from it.
I will never request someone to be a wei xiao bao if he even got problem in communication - that's so idealistic. I rather focus on him as a person and expand his potential based on HIM as a centric force and not based on an idealistic, bizare model that will probably bring about disastrous result?
Change is necessary - but I would see changes as necessary changes and not mundane changes.
Pursue interest and expand social circle? Necessary (low cost high returns) as it address the problem and is actually a direct solution by itself.
Career switch? Unneccessary (High cost low returns) as we are on the assumption that he learns the skill of his new trade and by the time those skills trickle down into BGR skills... he would still have to expand social circle and that would take him years before he sees the fruit of that choice (that's of course if we presume nothing goes wrong along the way). That's an indirect solution - if you are telling me that kenny is under 20, then maybe? But certainly not for a guy at 26? It makes so much sense to learn communication as he expands his social circle and should he even faces rejection, his learning is closer to the crux of his problem, rather than being a little far-fetched?
Like I have said, this kenny guy isn't here to reveal the actual picture. And you are on the assumption that he feared rejection, while there might be a possibility that the root of problem isn't so much about the fear of rejection, although there might be some elements of it because the man himself isn't here to talk about it?
P.S: I don't usually reply to topics speaking on behalf of a third party, for most of the time, it's based on assumption and whatever replies being posted here isn't read by the man/woman themselves? But I am cool with such topics in AA though - no worries Meilin... it's just me.
Cheers -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:
ehh.. mai pua wa kang tao leh. Mai tu liao is not pua kang tao leh....
*Private joke*
Before MAY!
Cheers -
ying xiong xi ying xiong... -
like kenny?Originally posted by Meilin86:That's true. I don't find anything special on them. I still prefer a neighbourhood next-door plain guy.