I just broke up with my gf today :(
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u can start the ball rolling =)Originally posted by alfagal:haha same here,
v curious on how old u guys are.
yes, i agree w doko and yun's views...
they give quite good advices.
doko -
u also quite loser rite... cant recognise ur own gf's voice!!
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Here are yr flaws
- Meet once or twice a week-> maybe should start increasing what. LIke morning go work or school and things like that then meet in the evening for dinner and things like that
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)-> Since u know she likes talking to u then u should talk more to her. Take initiative to call. Haha. Same as my stead too. everytime is i call him one. Maybe its both of yr fault. She should be more understanding that u need space and u should be more understanding to her needs too.
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her-> This one is also both yr fault. Her fault because she EXPECT U TO KNOW and never tell u. BUt its also yr fault because u not caring enough and nver put in an effort to understand her body language better.
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl"-> thats too extreme! Shes over doing it
- I keep a few pictures of female models-> Lusting after some other woman's body when you are attached is a no no.
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)-> As long as u didnt include her name it should be OKAY.After all, we all need a little space to vent our frustrations
I think u should write a letter to her and analyse everything that went wrong in the relationship. Apologize for yr mistakes but request that she should make an effort to change for it takes two hands to clap. Send a gift to apologize liek flowers or collect a lot of saga seeds to put in a bottle or sth. If she doesnt want to patch back.. then... I think u should move on. -
I can help u draft a letter. PM me if u want! =)
Im good at writing stuff tah can trigger emotions! I was the only A1 in the level for english and i also wrote letters to teachers to get out of punishments and things like that! I could offer my services. Or maybe u can type out one then u send to me and i add in stuff here and there.I WILL BE HAPPY TO HELP! Really! -
My advice : - Observe how her dad treat her mum, if you dont like his style his look and the way he talk, forget about it, move on.
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/me throw peanuts at doko.Originally posted by dokono:*rejects because Im paid peanuts*
doko
Cheers -
That's a lot of cashOriginally posted by Yunhaier:/me throw peanuts at doko.
Cheers 
*happily accepts those tons of peanuts*
doko -
Lots of good advice.......once again, thank you to all. All the replies are very sensible.
We are both in our early 20s and the age gap is 1 year, so age shouldnt be a problem ba. Its my first r/s.
I think i'll get an apology card and write a letter to admit my mistakes and to ask for a patch. Also, to tell her what areas she can work on also.
Then.....just hope for the best. if not, then we'll just have to go our seperate ways.
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Her parents seem quite friendly. There seems to be no major disharmony within the familyOriginally posted by Gazelle:My advice : - Observe how her dad treat her mum, if you dont like his style his look and the way he talk, forget about it, move on. -
take it easy
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Maybe she has her side of the story.
And it usually fills up the missing pieces of your version.
But whatever it is, if one of you can't give in, in a r/s, then forget abt it.
It won't work. -
Yup. For sure I am trying to understand girls. I am always reading and finding out more about the female species. I read so many books on Mars and Venus and many other attracting and "playing the game" types of books. I can always tell people how to attract and sianz their admirers, but i always can't seem to help myself. I recently just lost a female friend whom I really liked a lot. The reason? I was too whiny, being like a wussy all the time and demand her attention when she wasn't even my girlfriend. I know all my problems but haiz, just can't avoid it when my heart gets "blinded". I know I can't get her friendship back as i know how girls think. Once they call it quits, it's game over. Thus, i'm now still getting over it. I know I can do it and it will be a matter of time before I start interacting with the opposite sex again. Cheers.Originally posted by dokono:Heartzz, are you trying to understand girls also?
doko -
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Not at me rite??Originally posted by M©+square: -
HeartzzzOriginally posted by Heartzzz:Yup. For sure I am trying to understand girls. I am always reading and finding out more about the female species. I read so many books on Mars and Venus and many other attracting and "playing the game" types of books. I can always tell people how to attract and sianz their admirers, but i always can't seem to help myself. I recently just lost a female friend whom I really liked a lot. The reason? I was too whiny, being like a wussy all the time and demand her attention when she wasn't even my girlfriend. I know all my problems but haiz, just can't avoid it when my heart gets "blinded". I know I can't get her friendship back as i know how girls think. Once they call it quits, it's game over. Thus, i'm now still getting over it. I know I can do it and it will be a matter of time before I start interacting with the opposite sex again. Cheers.
Reading and doing things in real life are two totally different areas. You don't read a book on driving and expect to drive immediately. You need a lot of trial and error to gain experience.
Give yourself time to interact with the opposite sex. You know where you have gone wrong. Just don't make the same mistakes again.
doko -
Yeah. Making mistakes are my speciality. Ha. Get what you mean though. I'll be fine. There are many other things in life other than this area which I can work and concentrate on. When i am ready, mentally, physically, and emotionally, then maybe things will turn out better that time.Originally posted by dokono:Heartzzz
Reading and doing things in real life are two totally different areas. You don't read a book on driving and expect to drive immediately. You need a lot of trial and error to gain experience.
Give yourself time to interact with the opposite sex. You know where you have gone wrong. Just don't make the same mistakes again.
doko -
too demanding the gf perharps
meeting too many time in a single week won't help maintain a relationship long -
I don't think you are to be fully blamed for this. I personally hate the part where she purposely set up a test to test your response. What is this ? Who is she to set up tests here and there one ?
It may sounds horrible that you call her lesser and lesser and treat her more and more normal etc, but it is really what most guys do. When you chase her, you give your 2000% from what you will do usually to a close person. When you succeed chasing her, you gradually drop to 100%. She have to face it... honeymoon period is over. Your father may have used up a lot of efforts to chase your mum then, are they as loving as they used to or more loving than you and your girlfriend ? If they are more loving than you and your girlfriend, you deserve a kick up your ass. If they just behave like ordinary father and mother, then it is a clear sign honeymoon period is true. The only thing uncertain is how long it last... some people a year, some people a few months and some people many years... but she have to face it one day and accept u as it is... otherwise it is really time for a break up -
wrong time wrong person
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Originally posted by M©+square:
MCsqure's laughter is not malicious intend targetting at you.
He's just amused at the influence of how book ideology could make the readers feel that they have discovered something never before and that they reckon they could finally take charge of love which they previously not knew and achieve a fulfilling relationship.
P.S: Always learn to understand individual separately - than trying to judge women as a whole and adopt a biased, selective perception of how women think and behave.
Cheers -
I guess you must reach as many as 20, 000 plus post counts to be able to understand MCsquare.Originally posted by Yunhaier: MCsqure's laughter is not malicious intend targetting at you.
He's just amused at the influence of how book ideology could make the readers feel that they have discovered something never before and that they reckon they could finally take charge of love which they previously not knew and achieve a fulfilling relationship.
P.S: Always learn to understand individual separately - than trying to judge women as a whole and adopt a biased, selective perception of how women think and behave.
Cheers
doko -
I have to disagree with you on the last paragraph.Originally posted by Yunhaier: MCsqure's laughter is not malicious intend targetting at you.
He's just amused at the influence of how book ideology could make the readers feel that they have discovered something never before and that they reckon they could finally take charge of love which they previously not knew and achieve a fulfilling relationship.
P.S: Always learn to understand individual separately - than trying to judge women as a whole and adopt a biased, selective perception of how women think and behave.
Cheers
hahaha...they always say every woman is different, this and that. Every woman and man will always say they want to be different, because it helps in their ego.
Granted this is true. Every individual is different. But what they did not say is that, men and women are totally different in every way, biologically and psychologically. Why is it that women understand what women mean but men don't understand them ? Why is it that some girls prefer lesbians?
Clearly, men need more help than women. Women have the power in relationships. They will always want to be the chased. They always want to feel like a princess. Seldom do we see the females choose to be the aggressor. That's the universal rule and I agree with this. It's not about judging females as a whole or whatsoever. True, there are females with different personalities, ranging from pure selfishness to pure selflessness. This also depends on the girl's family upbringing and moral values.
However, there are certain common traits that women display such as some excuses and doing things by their emotions. This is not bashing women. Clearly, women behave much more differently than men as a whole. That's where certain books come in to help explain the differences so men know what to do. Experiences play the most important.
doko -
nothing wrong with meeting just once or twice a week wat...i m currently doing dat meet too many times in a week will also get bored wif each other rite?
Abt the female models' pics, I have long since taken this as a nature of men...as long as it is not pics of his close girlfrens, then I am okie wif it (sumtimes might even help him bio wich one is nice and wich one is not...okie, i m weird in this sense
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I think maybe this is an incompatibility issue ba...she is more demanding and maybe clingy, while you are somewhat more laid back in the r/s and don't really understand wat girls want sometimes. And she should let you know what she wants instead of flaring up at you.
So take this as a lesson. In your next r/s, if you sense that your girl is starting to cut off contact wif you, try to ask her out and ask her wats wrong. Communication is key in all r/s.
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seriously the letter thing is a bit cliche.... try to get her out to talk better... if good can kiss and hug and patch back faster also!
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Dear MingFreeman,
I hope it will not be too late for you to read this...
Do you love her?
Do you tresure this relationship?
And do you see the future as both of you together?
If you answers for these 3 questions is YES! YES! YES!
Then, I think its time for you to do something.
It takes time and a lot of effort to build up a relationship. 8 months may not seem to be a very long time but it is definitely neither a too short time.
I believed what she had done (to impersonate as a 3rd party), does not cause much harm. Instead of saying she does not trust you at all, why not ask yourself if you have given her any sense of security?
Any woman will not wish to see their second half to meet up with another girl (especially since that particular woman has expressed her liking to you).
Although one is free to get to know another party as long as they are not in a marriage BUT that is the first step towards a broken relationship! Are you in a relationship or a COMMITTED relationship?
If you claimed that you have done your best in giving into the relationship, is there any way you can do it better? Because from what I can see, there is still so much that you can give to her.
There is no tips in improving a relationship.
It depends on how much you love her and willing to sacrifice and change for her.
Changes are not that bad. It will just make you into a more mature and sensitive person.
Good Luck to you!