Am i thinking too much?
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I think what is wrong is how you wrote the email. It almost almost sounds like a break up emailOriginally posted by bee_gal:LOL! i will not say things like 'stupid' work. Work is important to me too.
Basically, i think it is better for me not to talk to him for a while. i can clear my feelings and thoughts. Good for him too, cos he can clear his work.
Meanwhile, i go get myself occupied with things that i enjoy doing.
What is wrong? -
no la, of cos u will never say stupid work but that's how it mite read to him...Originally posted by bee_gal:LOL! i will not say things like 'stupid' work. Work is important to me too.
Basically, i think it is better for me not to talk to him for a while. i can clear my feelings and thoughts. Good for him too, cos he can clear his work.
Meanwhile, i go get myself occupied with things that i enjoy doing.
What is wrong? -
Rainee, how to you coax a man who tell you he is too busy with his work to fly here to eat dinner with you? Wouldnt that be too unreasonable?Originally posted by rainee:
can ask nicely ma, and he mite meet you on Monday. And if he says he is busy with his work, can say that he still needs to eat dinner and try to coax him to eat together with you.
Think if you suffer so much for not meeting each other and he is not willing to spend more time with you, better end this r/s before it gets worse and bring you more suffering wor -
yea, the distance is a problem...i tot he is still in singapore but is just busy with his work...Originally posted by bee_gal:Rainee, how to you coax a man who tell you he is too busy with his work to fly here to eat dinner with you? Wouldnt that be too unreasonable?
then maybe just give him a call on Monday and talk to him over the fon...but dun need to mention it harshly in the email...cos it sounds like you want to talk seriously...and most men dun like this kinda talk, cos it gives them a lot of stress...and esp if you tell him beforehand, he will worry abt wat you mite say to him... -
If so, so be it. I am sick of all these businessmen pep talks.Originally posted by pocari_sweat:I think what is wrong is how you wrote the email. It almost almost sounds like a break up email
in the past, i would've been very angry if he tell me last min that he is not coming when he already knew it on tuesday. i hate people who knows that they cant make it in advance but only notify cancellation last minute. But you know what? i actually had guessed it one or two days before he said it. i think i am a psychic. -
There is no need to talk anymore, it is either i can accept it or not.Originally posted by rainee:yea, the distance is a problem...i tot he is still in singapore but is just busy with his work...
then maybe just give him a call on Monday and talk to him over the fon...but dun need to mention it harshly in the email...cos it sounds like you want to talk seriously...and most men dun like this kinda talk, cos it gives them a lot of stress...and esp if you tell him beforehand, he will worry abt wat you mite say to him...
p/s: usually if i can accept it (ie i decided not to break up, i will never mention that thing again) -
Since you feel there is so much insecurity and problems, why dont you just break up now?
I feel you need an average joe boyfriend who works 9-5 and can be with you everyday.One who dont have to do extra work or travel overseas for business. -
fyi, none of my bfs is average joe. and im not an average jane too.Originally posted by pocari_sweat:Since you feel there is so much insecurity and problems, why dont you just break up now?
I feel you need an average joe boyfriend who works 9-5 and can be with you everyday.One who dont have to do extra work or travel overseas for business. -
With your statement , i guess you think you are too good for this sort of r/s bullshit and you deserve a better guy who can give you all the attention you need.Originally posted by bee_gal:fyi, none of my bfs is average joe. and im not an average jane too.
Do us all a favor and do the poor guy a favor, dump him. -
Don't be so hard on bee_gal. A LDR (and her first if not both at it) isn't something one can easily and patiently experience and go thru when talk and walk aren't consistent. Instead of making giant leaps into it (when things are working out well), take simple steps and see the results. If even simple steps produce unsatisfactory results, then it's safer to scale down and pull out if necessary. Going into it by lots of faith could backfire (hurt and burn). The way to a steady r/s imo is by small steps and proven by what each party promises and delivers.
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You got me wrong. My statement was directing at your post.Originally posted by pocari_sweat:With your statement , i guess you think you are too good for this sort of r/s bullshit and you deserve a better guy who can give you all the attention you need.
Do us all a favor and do the poor guy a favor, dump him.
My bf is not average joe too. -
they are already bf/gf. what you want her to do?step back and say hey - lets just be friends or break up , tell us your solution?Originally posted by macjoe:Don't be so hard on bee_gal. An LDR (and her first if not both at it) isn't something one can easily and patiently experience and go thru when talk and walk aren't consistent. Instead of making giant leaps into it (when things are working out well), take simple steps and see the results. If even simple steps produce unsatisfactory results, then it's safer to scale down and pull out if necessary. Going into it by lots of faith could backfire (hurt and burn). The way to a steady r/s imo is by small steps and proven by what each party promises and delivers. -
Precisely. So whats wrong with cooling off, he can go busy with his work, while i manage my emotions to see what i want?Originally posted by macjoe:Don't be so hard on bee_gal. An LDR (and her first if not both at it) isn't something one can easily and patiently experience and go thru when talk and walk aren't consistent. Instead of making giant leaps into it (when things are working out well), take simple steps and see the results. If even simple steps produce unsatisfactory results, then it's safer to scale down and pull out if necessary. Going into it by lots of faith could backfire (hurt and burn). The way to a steady r/s imo is by small steps and proven by what each party promises and delivers. -
Cool off, clear the mind. See what we want.Originally posted by pocari_sweat:they are already bf/gf. what you want her to do?step back and say hey - lets just be friends or break up , tell us your solution?
Not workable? -
Oops! Should be (in bold):
Don't be so hard on bee_gal. A LDR (and her first if not both at it) isn't something one can easily and patiently experience and go thru when talk and walk aren't consistent. Instead of making giant leaps into it (when things aren't working out well), take simple steps and see the results. If even simple steps produce unsatisfactory results, then it's safer to scale down and pull out if necessary. Going into it by lots of faith could backfire (hurt and burn). The way to a steady r/s imo is by small steps and proven by what each party promises and delivers. -
COOL OFF = translated by mens brain comes out as = temporarily break upOriginally posted by bee_gal:Cool off, clear the mind. See what we want.
Not workable? -
All this while, he is the one dictating his schedule, or rather our schedule. Even the schedules for phone calls. He can always reach me, while i never could. And i have been accepting it.
Cant i have the right, and the time to see if i can continue to accept it this type of arrangement, this type of relationship? -
lolz, i think you are too impatient and insecure to be in this kinda r/s.Originally posted by bee_gal:There is no need to talk anymore, it is either i can accept it or not.
p/s: usually if i can accept it (ie i decided not to break up, i will never mention that thing again)
learn from this and dun ever get into a ldr again
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Note that i did not use the 2 words? How the man going to translate?Originally posted by pocari_sweat:COOL OFF = translated by mens brain comes out as = temporarily break up
If he so take it that way, so be it. I will stand by my own action. -
Yup. Cool off and take time to assess the past before going forward. The past holds the key to the future. What was said and promised, was it delivered or it's just hot air. I'd be careful if it's hot air most of the time. Makes me wonder what's said (especially i love you) is really heavy-weight or feather-weight.Originally posted by bee_gal:Precisely. So whats wrong with cooling off, he can go busy with his work, while i manage my emotions to see what i want? -
i m interested to know how are you not an average jane and how is he not an average joeOriginally posted by bee_gal:fyi, none of my bfs is average joe. and im not an average jane too.
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This sounds very familiar to me - he could reach you but you could never reach him.Originally posted by bee_gal:All this while, he is the one dictating his schedule, or rather our schedule. Even the schedules for phone calls. He can always reach me, while i never could. And i have been accepting it.
Cant i have the right, and the time to see if i can continue to accept it this type of arrangement, this type of relationship? -
So i guess christmas eve is off for this couple then. History in making, ending of a relationship in the forum with much help from mac joeOriginally posted by bee_gal:Note that i did not use the 2 words? How the man going to translate?
If he so take it that way, so be it. I will stand by my own action.
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Just because you have been money scammed , doesnt mean its the same for everybody else. But i guess she wants it to fail also because she only listens to your viewpoint.Originally posted by macjoe:This sounds very familiar to me - he could reach you but you could never reach him. -
I know that i cant. In fact all along i knew i cant. i told him that. And he assured me it is juz 2 hours flight away? He can fly in anytime? he stressed. But has that materialised? Honestly, i do not need that. But is it so difficult to addres my concern over an issue more seriously and do something obout it? I can accept him not coming, i can accept him leaving abruptly, i can make sure that i am always contactable even during my sleep, but he cant address my problems seriously? or simply, heant even pick up the call?Originally posted by rainee:lolz, i think you are too impatient and insecure to be in this kinda r/s.
learn from this and dun ever get into a ldr again
Where is the it takes 2 to clap?
Talk are cheap. If words are backed up by action, then they mean something.