Do you like me? do you like me not? -
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Half a year sounds good! Good luck gal!Originally posted by Vindictiv3:I agree with you..
thats why i was in a serious fix..
one side i dun wanna ruin the friendship, at another i cant help but have this wishful thinking that how it would might work if we were to be together.
I do wonder about that too..
like how he might fall for me in this state because he might mix love for a need to have someone erase his pain.
thats why i told him..
i would be there and make sure he'll be fine in half a year time.
but then again if u think about it..
ive a serious risk to take.
if in half a year, by then i would know that he's really over her, but then what if his feelings for me developes ito a good friend only? what would i do then???
cause this usually happens when a guy and a girl know each other for a long time..
if attraction doesnt take place, friendship would. -
I agree with devil here...Originally posted by Devil1976:Why don't you take it as returning him a favor then? Even at this point, won't you even consider this out of friendship with him? And just what's wrong with friendship if it so happens to be before a BGR or not?
If attraction doesn't take place, naturally friendship COULD... And if you know how to nurture it WELL, I don't see how a FRIENDSHIP could be much in any way LOUSY as compared to a BGR...?
in fact why even place a "time limit" on this....
if things are going to develop, they will in their own time..... if not..... then accept it as it is.... a beautiful friendship perhaps? -
oops.. wrong thread
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Why dun you throw the question back at him? "Why do you treat me so nice?Do you like me?"
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lolz sounds like me and my ex crush last time...
in the end nothing ever happened, and i stopped contacting him to protect my own sanity and my current r/s -
You know, he behaves like me or I behave like him.Originally posted by browniebaobao:He's a player.
So am I a player too? I only know the similarity ended when he has issues with his ex.
All I know is, he seems to be a good, genuine friend with no ulterior motives. How he cared for the thread starter shows he valued the friendship alot. Of course there is the "perform the act very well" in which it shows he has an ulterior motive, but lets give him a benefit of a doubt.
If there is a chance I would like to meet this guy and befriend him.
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Are you saying that you're quite very rich too...?Originally posted by Bontakun:You know, he behaves like me or I behave like him.
So am I a player too? I only know the similarity ended when he has issues with his ex.
All I know is, he seems to be a good, genuine friend with no ulterior motives. How he cared for the thread starter shows he valued the friendship alot. Of course there is the "perform the act very well" in which it shows he has an ulterior motive, but lets give him a benefit of a doubt.
If there is a chance I would like to meet this guy and befriend him. -
Depends on what is "rich". If you toking abt da material wealth, of coz I dun have it... now.Originally posted by Devil1976:Are you saying that you're quite very rich too...? 
(SGpork emote siggy style) -
Welcome to the real world of dating adults and professionals where love/lust is not the only consideration.
Regardless of your relationship with him, he is, and will miss that air of familiarity; the fact that the breakup was mutual makes it worse because he will have nothing to stop him from reminiscing the past.
He's probably at that age like alot of other men, wanting stability or at least contemplating its benefits. Just because he once expressed his desire to remain single does not mean it applies for life.
If he really is single now, give him some space to at least get over it so that you aren't the rebound girl, and then go for it. Not children in a juvenile society anymore; ladies have equal standing as men do and should be equally allowed to pursue their love interests. -
doesn't benefit him right now, dun mean wun benefit him later?Originally posted by Vindictiv3:hahaha even I thought of that before, that he might just be playing around..
but as a player, if he doesnt benefit.
which right now he really doesnt, we don't talk to each other liek every single day( so hes not benefitting emotionally by getting attention or whatever), we don't have an intimate relationship ( not benefitting physically ).
we only go out occasionally and most of the time he pays for everything unless i really insist on paying for my own things like food.
so whats his motive?? every player has a motive to play the game, im no virgin in this topic as ive had friends who are players and pickup artists and so on. every guy who plays has to have a motive..
if hes really a player, whats his??
he isnt bad looking, frankly he looks good, hes got charms, hes got this face that somehow ruggish the i-can-protect-you that kinda look yet at the same time he can really look very vulnerable and sweet.
most of the girls wouldnt mind going for him, infact if he wanted any girl, ive no doubt that if he puts his mind to it, he can have her twirled around his fingers and have his ways with her.
he knows he cant really have his way with me cause im nto the sweet gentle kinda girl. i dun subscum easily to temptations or watever, so whats he doing here??
he has to slowly gain ur trust mah.
u wun even know whether the ex is something he made up..
bcos u are not the sweet gentle kind of girl, then he will find u challenging mah.
u dun succumb easily to tempations, but u are succumbing to him liao.
so lagi obvious~ -
i am not sure if it's applicable in the TS' case... But here goes anyway...
The guys seems to be going through what one of my guy friend did... After his breakup with his GF, he was always hanging out with this particular girl, who at that time was also dealing with heartbreak...
He sought comfort in providing comfort and support for that girl... cos he felt "needed" and "important" to that girl... something his fiercely independent ex-GF couldn't give him... In short, he felt good with that girl.. but he don't love her...
And of course, the girl fell for him, he had to reject her, cos he's still in love with his ex-GF...
TS... not sure if your guy's facing the same thing too...
If you like him... keep him as your friend, if things developes and you guys get to be together, that will be great... If not, at least you got a friend for life... In both cases, it's a win-win situation.... Cheer up! -
If I hv no other issues (such as getting over my previous r/s), and think I like him enough to be my future partner,
I wld confront him outright.
Yes. Ask him direct in the face. That's the best way of avoiding ai mei (unclear grounds) situation. If not (if he's such a nice guy anyway), i can still remain friends with him. It's not like i wld die if he doesnt feel the same way too right? But if I dun clarify and in the end he drifted away, it would be my loss.
Haha. Then again, it's to ea his own. Dif ppl diff character. I am only saying that this wld be wat I wld do. -
What i think is that both of us hav fallen out of love therefore it is kinda craving for someone to love and accompany. Maybe he LIKES u however he's not ready to hav any commitment wif u, like wat he has said, he's NOT totally over his ex. I would advise to give both of us MORE TIME to confirm the infatuation? Dun rush becoz normally ppl are confused...
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Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
true... it's better than guessing....
If I hv no other issues (such as getting over my previous r/s), and think I like him enough to be my future partner,
[b]I wld confront him outright.
Yes. Ask him direct in the face. That's the best way of avoiding ai mei (unclear grounds) situation. If not (if he's such a nice guy anyway), i can still remain friends with him. It's not like i wld die if he doesnt feel the same way too right? But if I dun clarify and in the end he drifted away, it would be my loss.
Haha. Then again, it's to ea his own. Dif ppl diff character. I am only saying that this wld be wat I wld do. [/b] -
actually its not a time limit..Originally posted by smudgey:I agree with devil here...
in fact why even place a "time limit" on this....
if things are going to develop, they will in their own time..... if not..... then accept it as it is.... a beautiful friendship perhaps?
he asked me if he could get over her, i told him im sure he would,
he asked me how long would it take? how long would he suffer the pain?
i told him give it time, i told him i'll take care of him, in half a year i'll make sure he'll be alright!
one reason was because i wanted to give him a goal to get over her.
in life u cannot move forward unless uve a clear goal if not u'll be loss.
in another, i do feel that half a year should be enough for him to be normal without her again since he doesnt excactly love her.
and i do have faith in him, hes a strong guy. -
he likes you, and value you as a friend. Perhaps he thinks you're a nice girl and hes probably a nice guy, hence treating you nicely. Chances are, hes still "not over" with his ex, and actually not emotionally ready to commit to any relationship - which theres not much you can do; and its dangerous to expect anything more from him at this point.
If you value him as a friend too, take things slowly. If it doesnt develop into anything further then so be it. Dont tear your hair worrying if he likes you or not. Its not so important, more importantly hes not ready to commit to you, and hence make no moves towards you.
In fact if you ask him outright, its probably a "no". But theres a potential for it to become "yes", if the relationship nurtures. Be patient. -
Originally posted by Vindictiv3:
hmmm i see....
[b]actually its not a time limit..
he asked me if he could get over her, i told him im sure he would,
he asked me how long would it take? how long would he suffer the pain?
i told him give it time, i told him i'll take care of him, in half a year i'll make sure he'll be alright!
one reason was because i wanted to give him a goal to get over her.
in life u cannot move forward unless uve a clear goal if not u'll be loss.
in another, i do feel that half a year should be enough for him to be normal without her again since he doesnt excactly love her.
and i do have faith in him, hes a strong guy.
[/b]
well all i can say is, be carefull of being taken as a rebound....
the guy seems to be at his most vulnerable state.... -
Hahahah...Originally posted by rmyfrm:Welcome to the real world of dating adults and professionals where love/lust is not the only consideration.
Regardless of your relationship with him, he is, and will miss that air of familiarity; the fact that the breakup was mutual makes it worse because he will have nothing to stop him from reminiscing the past.
He's probably at that age like alot of other men, wanting stability or at least contemplating its benefits. Just because he once expressed his desire to remain single does not mean it applies for life.
If he really is single now, give him some space to at least get over it so that you aren't the rebound girl, and then go for it. Not children in a juvenile society anymore; ladies have equal standing as men do and should be equally allowed to pursue their love interests.
belive me...
i totally agree with you about the ladies should be equally allowed to pursue their love intesterest.
there were afew times, i like the guy but i dunno his feelings.
i just got fedup and openly told him i liked him..
den from then on i had to do the reeling.
but it neevr actually worked out cause i got tired after awhile.
i wanted a man who'll say and do things to get what he wants and not just seat around waitin for people to put it in his hands.
hes still in his early/mid twenties.
i must admit hes still young..
he'll prob have alot of thinking to do.
i know i might be taken as a rebound girl ( if he even likes me in the first place ).
thats why right now, from me to him, i'll just be his good friend who'll support him thru this time until i know he's ok again -
Agree...Originally posted by smudgey:hmmm i see....
well all i can say is, be carefull of being taken as a rebound....
the guy seems to be at his most vulnerable state.... -
hahahah hey! same boat! i tried man! i really did!Originally posted by rainee:lolz sounds like me and my ex crush last time...
in the end nothing ever happened, and i stopped contacting him to protect my own sanity and my current r/s
when he dissapeared for quite awhile..
i somehow got back to my normal life convincing myself tt he didnt want to see me anymore or sumtin.
den one day out of no where he called me and explained why he wasnt away.
and den on starts my headaches.. all the feelings comes back again.
* bangs head on table * -
Originally posted by Vindictiv3:hahahah hey! same boat! i tried man! i really did!
when he dissapeared for quite awhile..
i somehow got back to my normal life convincing myself tt he didnt want to see me anymore or sumtin.
den one day out of no where he called me and explained why he wasnt away.
and den on starts my headaches.. all the feelings comes back again.
* bangs head on table *
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Hahaha i love your nick..Originally posted by Sheepophile:he likes you, and value you as a friend. Perhaps he thinks you're a nice girl and hes probably a nice guy, hence treating you nicely. Chances are, hes still "not over" with his ex, and actually not emotionally ready to commit to any relationship - which theres not much you can do; and its dangerous to expect anything more from him at this point.
If you value him as a friend too, take things slowly. If it doesnt develop into anything further then so be it. Dont tear your hair worrying if he likes you or not. Its not so important, more importantly hes not ready to commit to you, and hence make no moves towards you.
In fact if you ask him outright, its probably a "no". But theres a potential for it to become "yes", if the relationship nurtures. Be patient.
sounds so cute.
errr anyways back to topic..
well i know right now if i ask..
my chances are prob zero.
my intitution tells me he just treat me like a friend.
but as usual ur blasted heart never listens to ur head.
it just picks up details and start putting hopes into ur head to torture u
for the fun of it.I swear my heart has some SM fetish hidden somewhere.
i do treasure his friendship alot..
thats why right now im not even thinking of me and him.
mainly i just want him to be ok, i want to help him move on in his life.
cause the way he talks and explain about how they broke up.
the reasons etc etc.
we both feel like shes not right for him, no point having him cling onto her for years and later on fall in love with someone else yet cant let go of her cause hes used to her.then he'll have even a bigger dillemma.
i want to let him feel that leaving sumtin that u dun love, but just plainly a habit of having.
is not difficult, its just tedious but do-able.
show him that he deserves something better aswel. -
Dun give me that face can?? i scared people stare at me * hides *Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe: -
Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
Normally i would do that too..
If I hv no other issues (such as getting over my previous r/s), and think I like him enough to be my future partner,
[b]I wld confront him outright.
Yes. Ask him direct in the face. That's the best way of avoiding ai mei (unclear grounds) situation. If not (if he's such a nice guy anyway), i can still remain friends with him. It's not like i wld die if he doesnt feel the same way too right? But if I dun clarify and in the end he drifted away, it would be my loss.
Haha. Then again, it's to ea his own. Dif ppl diff character. I am only saying that this wld be wat I wld do. [/b]
but his character..somehow ..for him..
i feel like i know him, yet i feel like i dunno him.
its easy to say just tell the person outright.
but u forgot.
to some people, if they dun feel the same towards the other person.
they would start feeling awkward and drift away to avoid trouble.
I dun feel like i want to take such a big risk..
i dunno how he'll react.
i dun want later on regretting that i told him if he chose to drift away further and lose the friendship.
cause right now, im content of what it is now, we accompanying each other as friends.
Its just that my feelings cant help but wish for more yet at the same time i do not want to lose his friendship if i happen to confess and he doesnt feel the same way.
if somehow i know that he doesnt feel for me, den i would shut up and convince myself that i shouldnt look too much into his niceness rather than lose his frienship if i confess and he reacts to it badly. -
Originally posted by Vindictiv3:
[b]
Sigh seriously.. I'm at a fix guys! help me!!
Quite awhile back. My boyfriend of afew years broke off with me..
back then, i was totally devastated,
then came along this guy.
we never really expressed interest in each other, cause when we knew each other.
i was a depressive bit*ch and he said he liked being single.
so being practical, even though my heart falls for him.. as he really is so nice, lovely to be with, we're so similar yet so different. but i just love spending time with him. I just left it as friends, and never dared to say anything..although it drives me crazy! just thinking of him..yet wondering if he likes me too..
he's so weird..
He's this quiet kinda guy at times. the cool reserved dude.
when i was down int he begining of my break up,he accompanied me.
when i got myself almost drunk, he drove in the middle of the night to pick me up and send me home despite he himself not feeling well.
we would accompany each other.
when i had tt bad time..he said he'll take care of me and make sure i'll be fine..
but the thing was..
he never openly expresses interest. he doesnt message me oftent like once a day or sumtin at least.
but instead every few days we would come in contact again.
there was afew period of times he would dissapear. and reappear again, saying he was sent away on an urgent business trip and didnt have time to tell me till he came back.
we would like not contact..and den contact again..on off on off..
its like a turmoul...
recently
we started going out for meals together again.. and afew days later a day out,during the day out
we went out to have fun, play games and so on..thru out the day,
he was looking at me.. staring and smilling at me..
i admit i felt pleased that he was looking at me so!
den when we went to eat, instead of the usual him seating opposite me like every other guy would usually do. he sat right next to me!
we chat, awhile latter..he opened up to me..cause i noticed after a message or 2, he look disturbed and upset.
he told me that it was about his ex gf..
whom he broke up with..but he still feels it..
but i was like..how can u feel it when u broke up mutually?
he was like he feels like he couldnt live with her, at the same time couldnt live without her..
my god.. i swear my heart tightened so bad at tt moment..
but i managed to smile..give him advice as a friend would..
telling him tt he can get over her and stuff...
he told me things tt he did when he thought he was over her.
he went with other girls..
but he said it felt different..
i told him he'll be fine..
but he was like.. wat about now?? he still feels the pain.
....
basically thats all i could write for now about my sistuation..
i dunno wat to do? or wat to think??
he does things tt might show tt he likes me.. at the same time there are things tt show tt he doesnt..
plus he said he feels for his ex gf as in sumhow hes used to her..
but he doesnt love her..
i feel so confused...
does he like me somewhat? does he not like me? whats he thinking??
am i picking up the wrong signals??? or does he have at least a little
liking for me as more den a friend??or am i just making myselfd belive those signals were to say tt he is interested???
right now i just wanna roar and rage
and stomp my feet around in fustration
* jealousy tantrum *[/b]
He is confused and not too sure about his next move.
Therefore, he's reserving seat for himself.
He reserved his seat by treating you beyond that of a friend (or seemingly so), but should someone else need the 'seat', he wouldn't mind giving it up to that someone who appreciate it more than him.
He's just reserving it, not doing anything practical with it.
He probably suppressed his affection because he feels that he don't have the position to chase (or rather leaving it to circumstance to make decision for his fate in love).
You could say he is stagnant with decisions he ought to make... being apathetic with the new future he could pursue.
He behaves like me... and since Bontakun mentioned it too.... I would have guess...
Is he a Leo?
Cheers