Love has no reason?
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the complication added now is that even tho we aint officially a couple bf/gf we decided to leave that till next month to decide as mentioned in my earlier posts, we are definitely beyond the boundaries of friends in terms of physical intimacy.
we dun excatly make out but we do hold hands and hug each other rather intimately. esp the last few times we met he has been touching me more e.g.start fondling me blah blah n worse still some of the things he did i was so oblivious to it i didnt even realise that
until he decided to confess his 'sins' to me for crossing the lines he had set for himself earlier when he promised me he'd prove his feelings for me aint lust.
in light of realising that, he just told me he would curb himself and punish himself by not meeting me till the weekend.
yet another 'issue'?
sometimes i ask myself are we really friends or a couple? can we really be friends after all these? m i holding out from the relationship just for the sake of holding out? am i scared of physical intimacy? is it my insecurities? or perhaps cos i m still hurting from my last relationship? -
Many of such cases.Originally posted by blu_sky:That is a sad story.
lets not analyse too much into it and enjoy the love!
I have personally experienced it as well.
Oh well... -
ok, ok. fine, fine.Originally posted by Bontakun:Tink so... at least to me...
Its all in da mind, my dear. All in da mind. 
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you were not the one who was skeptical, were you?Originally posted by M©+square:Many of such cases.
I have personally experienced it as well.
Oh well... -
when did ur previous r/s end? and becos of wat issues?Originally posted by kuri:the complication added now is that even tho we aint officially a couple bf/gf we decided to leave that till next month to decide as mentioned in my earlier posts, we are definitely beyond the boundaries of friends in terms of physical intimacy.
we dun excatly make out but we do hold hands and hug each other rather intimately. esp the last few times we met he has been touching me more e.g.start fondling me blah blah n worse still some of the things he did i was so oblivious to it i didnt even realise that until he decided to confess his 'sins' to me for crossing the lines he had set for himself earlier when he promised me he'd prove his feelings for me aint lust.
in light of realising that, he just told me he would curb himself and punish himself by not meeting me till the weekend.
yet another 'issue'?
sometimes i ask myself are we really friends or a couple? can we really be friends after all these? m i holding out from the relationship just for the sake of holding out? am i scared of physical intimacy? is it my insecurities? or perhaps cos i m still hurting from my last relationship? -
Oh no, i'm not.Originally posted by blu_sky:you were not the one who was skeptical, were you?
Cheers -
Sounds like a fine gentleman. Then again, that is not the crux.
The crux is, what do u want in a r/s?
Perhaps all along you've never really tot seriously abt it until the so call love hits you. Perhaps it's now time to seriously think abt wat you want. Then measure it against him. Do not just let the feeling of being loved rush towards your head, then again perhaps it's bcos you hvnt really examine wat u really want, your confusion will emerge in form of insecurities and tantrums.
A cooling off period shd set you thinking. A fine gentleman like him shd ustand. -
What do you want in a r/s?
Lemme help you by quoting examples ya? hope u dun find me too kpo.
Things like:
1) Can I pic him as my future husband living together under one roof & doing things together?
2) Can I pic myself waking up beside him every morning?
3) Will I give up some of my wilful ways in order not to hurt him, irritate him or make him look bad? Am I ready to sacrifice my carefree ways for him?
4) Do I like him enough to do all that?
5) Am I commited enough to go through a r/s to weather all storms as they arise? Is he?
6) What assurance will I have from him? What will he do for me?
7) Is it just becos of loneliness, the need for companionship cos I've just left a previous r/s that I'm seeking a r/s of a rebound nature (hard to tell)?
8 ) Does the above applies to him as well?
9) Will he be just as passionate as time goes by? (perhaps the best way to tell is to let time speak for itself, I've been thru that path)
10) Do you have high ideals? Is it time to take a hard look at your ideals and realized they're no longer practical? Is he collected enough too to know what he's talking about when he says he loves you? What are your gut feelings?
These are just my examples. Perhaps you may hv your own views.
Till then, best of wishes to you.
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Coz you attracted him by being who you are..
is he the one I know?
Is there hope for a patch? -
Girl ar, still want ur gelare waffle ice cream?
I still want my happy meal...
Next week me free ar..
Give me a beep.. ehh i duno whether u have my new hp number.. do ask from me in MSN..
Shall have a good talk with u...
ane meanwhile, pls hor, dun be ben ben let him anyhow touch u when u are not even sure of ur feelings for him yet. -
True.Originally posted by browniebaobao:ane meanwhile, pls hor, dun be ben ben let him anyhow touch u when u are not even sure of ur feelings for him yet.
Then again there are some people out there who attach no moral values to being intimate in this way.
But for me, I do agree with the above quote.
So hopefully he's not a player or someone in need of experimenting to tide thru his feelings of loss. -
some of the things which i hav been asking myself are on the list but i still hav no answer otherwise there wont b so much trouble..Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:What do you want in a r/s?
Lemme help you by quoting examples ya? hope u dun find me too kpo.
Things like:
1) Can I pic him as my future husband living together under one roof & doing things together?
2) Can I pic myself waking up beside him every morning?
3) Will I give up some of my wilful ways in order not to hurt him, irritate him or make him look bad? Am I ready to sacrifice my carefree ways for him?
4) Do I like him enough to do all that?
5) Am I commited enough to go through a r/s to weather all storms as they arise? Is he?
6) What assurance will I have from him? What will he do for me?
7) Is it just becos of loneliness, the need for companionship cos I've just left a previous r/s that I'm seeking a r/s of a rebound nature (hard to tell)?
8 ) Does the above applies to him as well?
9) Will he be just as passionate as time goes by? (perhaps the best way to tell is to let time speak for itself, I've been thru that path)
10) Do you have high ideals? Is it time to take a hard look at your ideals and realized they're no longer practical? Is he collected enough too to know what he's talking about when he says he loves you? What are your gut feelings?
These are just my examples. Perhaps you may hv your own views.
Till then, best of wishes to you. -
dun need to think bout it liao. he's leaving me.
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bbb,i told him wat u said on sms just now..just the part bout me not ready to enter another relationship now cos i still hurt from my last he freaked totally..he was angry what a mutual frd between me n ex said could hav such influence on me..cos i couldnt help crying when i mentioned ex on the phone..he said goodnite n hung up on me..then he smsed me n said i had hurt him enough..he's sick of it..that i say such hurtful things to him and expect to be consoled..say he's telling himself to give up on me tho it hurts him so much to...Originally posted by browniebaobao:Girl ar, still want ur gelare waffle ice cream?
I still want my happy meal...
Next week me free ar..
Give me a beep.. ehh i duno whether u have my new hp number.. do ask from me in MSN..
Shall have a good talk with u...
ane meanwhile, pls hor, dun be ben ben let him anyhow touch u when u are not even sure of ur feelings for him yet. -
hmm...
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Emotional blackmail...
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i really like him but i just can't bring myself to enter a relationship with him when i m so confused..i want to keep him but yet i dun want to make promises i know i might not be able to fulfill..it hurts so bad now i dunno wat to so..
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shouldnt hav told him that..i regret it..regret it...why couldnt i just control my damn depression. why did thinking bout my ex still affect me so badly.. wat should i do...should i salvage it?how?
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Originally posted by kuri:shouldnt hav told him that..i regret it..regret it...why couldnt i just control my damn depression. why did thinking bout my ex still affect me so badly.. wat should i do...should i salvage it?how?
I'm sorry to hear that you guys have had a tiff.
But this is a good time for you to reflect on yourself and this relationship.
And a time to see how much he loves you, if he does...he'll come back to you.
That's how i see it. But it is provided his character isn't too stubborn. -
Originally posted by kuri:bbb,i told him wat u said on sms just now..just the part bout me not ready to enter another relationship now cos i still hurt from my last he freaked totally..he was angry what a mutual frd between me n ex said could hav such influence on me..cos i couldnt help crying when i mentioned ex on the phone..he said goodnite n hung up on me..then he smsed me n said i had hurt him enough..he's sick of it..that i say such hurtful things to him and expect to be consoled..say he's telling himself to give up on me tho it hurts him so much to...
hugs kuri*
jialat i become sinner liao..
girl, give urself time too..
u are really not ready leh...
ask urself.. do u really like him or u juz someone to love u and shower u with the attention?
i dun want u to get hurt again leh..
especially when u haven get over him. -
i agree...Originally posted by M©+square: I'm sorry to hear that you guys have had a tiff.
But this is a good time for you to reflect on yourself and this relationship.
And a time to see how much he loves you, if he does...he'll come back to you.
That's how i see it. But it is provided his character isn't too stubborn.
if he really likes u, he wun give up so easily..
but then frankly.. i think any guy will find it unbearable also if the girl he likes keep thinking of another guy..
i still want to emphasize that, if u are not ready, dun hurry into a r/s..
coz if things dun go the way u want, u will feel even more hurt than now.. -
he says he's the sort who never believes in patching back. even though he said he still had love his ex when he broke up with cos of her betrayals he never looked back despite being terribly miserable for months he said he would never take his ex back even if she wanted to come back to him. he said he only started looking for somebody after he's sure he had gotten over his ex. and that if i were to make up my mind to leave one day or we were to split i'd never be able to come back to him.Originally posted by M©+square: I'm sorry to hear that you guys have had a tiff.
But this is a good time for you to reflect on yourself and this relationship.
And a time to see how much he loves you, if he does...he'll come back to you.
That's how i see it. But it is provided his character isn't too stubborn. -
Then he should be able to understand what u are going thru..Originally posted by kuri:he says he's the sort who never believes in patching back. even though he said he still had love his ex when he broke up with cos of her betrayals he never looked back despite being terribly miserable for months he said he would never take his ex back even if she wanted to come back to him. he said he only started looking for somebody after he's sure he had gotten over his ex. and that if i were to make up my mind to leave one day or we were to split i'd never be able to come back to him.
he makes it sound like he's very desirable and no lack of choices.
in the first place, were u two even together?
there's only intimacy involved but no acknowledgement right? -
kuri
are you very low in self-esteem? It seems that you need to be secure in yourself first. Did you tell him you like him?
doko -
I did go out with other guys a few weeks before i met him.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
hugs kuri*
jialat i become sinner liao..
girl, give urself time too..
u are really not ready leh...
ask urself.. do u really like him or u juz someone to love u and shower u with the attention?
i dun want u to get hurt again leh..
especially when u haven get over him.
But after two weeks of sorta seeing him i liked him enough to draw my lines clear with 2 other guys i had been going out with and never dated them since.
so i guess i do like him.but just somehow smt is holding me back..