is he really taking me for granted already?
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i hope it's a joke.Originally posted by Icemoon:why not test him?
say there is a guy after you .. see he kan jiong or not.
and i hope i won't see such comments again. -
well .. if there really is a guy after the TS .. it won't be a joke anymore.Originally posted by M©+square:i hope it's a joke.
and i hope i won't see such comments again.
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then it's not a test.Originally posted by Icemoon:well .. if there really is a guy after the TS .. it won't be a joke anymore. -
But is it wise to tell him such things? wouldnt that complicate things which are already complicated?
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yes, don't do itOriginally posted by veronicatan:But is it wise to tell him such things? wouldnt that complicate things which are already complicated?
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It was to test his reaction.Originally posted by M©+square:then it's not a test.
Put into a scenario, how would a person react? What would he do? Will he take it easy and bochup? -
Yeah don't do it. Don't be the first one to rock the boat.
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Please lah...everyone got something to do leh...you busy when you attending customer when he call you, then you cannot allow him to be busy when you call him meh? This is called typical unreasonable.Originally posted by veronicatan:i smsed him ytday afternoon, asking him if he think he is beginning to take me for granted. called me 1/2 hour later but i was attending to a customer, couldnt talk. called him 2 hours later during my dinner break but he was in a work thing. he didnt call me last night.
this morning, saw him in msn. chatted for a while, but he didnt mention about the sms at all. is he really taking me for granted?
Maybe when he got back home, he very tired already, like that you also dont allow him to rest and die die must call you issit?
Issnt it good that both never mention about the sms?? Cuz he may think its not a big thing mah...just never mention and if its important, you would mention it again in MSN.
Anyway, why must he mention about the sms? is it a must?
I think you are getting suspicious and I seriously dont like these types of gals...with the unsecurity complex.
And who's the one who come out with the "bright" idea of testing him? I tell you ah...if your relationship just started and you declare you got another BF or someone chasing you, the following with happen:
1). He will think you are shui xin yang hua, like to flirt, and no longer holds you at well as last time, this you ask for it de...
2). Since relationship havent bloom, he may think the other guy is a better choice for you etc, and he will give out on you, thinking its the best for you. Again, this you ask for it de... -
Simply, test is motivated by insecurities.Originally posted by Icemoon:It was to test his reaction.
Put into a scenario, how would a person react? What would he do? Will he take it easy and bochup?
No matter how you can phrase it, the underlying intent is driven by the above.
Women's Test onto Men -
Originally posted by Icemoon:It was to test his reaction.
Put into a scenario, how would a person react? I will even call her less, cuz if i deem the other person more suitable and compatible with her...then i will initiate to break up with her....duh...bright advise....
What would he do? Will he take it easy and bochup? -
ya, i dun want to.Originally posted by bigmouthjoe:Yeah don't do it. Don't be the first one to rock the boat.
but i am think, like what some of you guys say, let the man go and chiong (hopefully it is only work), he will come back to you when he is 'tired', how about adopting the approach of let him be? i go get my own life instead of waiting for the sms that never come and call that never returned? if he wants then call me, if not, let it be?
is this approach better or suitable? -
It doesn't have to be someone chasing you. Another BF?? When did I say that?Originally posted by nightzip:And who's the one who come out with the "bright" idea of testing him? I tell you ah...if your relationship just started and you declare you got another BF or someone chasing you, the following with happen:
1). He will think you are shui xin yang hua, like to flirt, and no longer holds you at well as last time, this you ask for it de...
2). Since relationship havent bloom, he may think the other guy is a better choice for you etc, and he will give out on you, thinking its the best for you. Again, this you ask for it de...
It could be as simple as a male colleague looking at you from a distance. I suppose such little things happen quite often.
Your point 1 is a strawman.
2 is atrocious. What kind of BF will think that way? -
No pls. Communication is important in relationship. Plus doing that will drive you crazy man...Originally posted by veronicatan:ya, i dun want to.
but i am think, like what some of you guys say, let the man go and chiong (hopefully it is only work), he will come back to you when he is 'tired', how about adopting the approach of let him be? i go get my own life instead of waiting for the sms that never come and call that never returned? if he wants then call me, if not, let it be?
is this approach better or suitable? -
No, im not getting suspicious. im juz frustrated from waiting for sms replies and phone calls call backs. if everyday your gf/bf never reply your sms or phone calls, you wont be frustrated meh? it is not juz last night that he did not return call u noe?Originally posted by nightzip:Please lah...everyone got something to do leh...you busy when you attending customer when he call you, then you cannot allow him to be busy when you call him meh? This is called typical unreasonable.
Maybe when he got back home, he very tired already, like that you also dont allow him to rest and die die must call you issit?
Issnt it good that both never mention about the sms?? Cuz he may think its not a big thing mah...just never mention and if its important, you would mention it again in MSN. Anyway, why must he mention about the sms? is it a must?
I think you are getting suspicious and I seriously dont like these types of gals...with the unsecurity complex. -
Not to that extent lah...you must also maintain a relationship/contact with your bf mah...at least sms 1-2 times a day its ok...or meet up 2-3 times aweek for movies, or dinner or games etc is good....Originally posted by veronicatan:ya, i dun want to.
but i am think, like what some of you guys say, let the man go and chiong (hopefully it is only work), he will come back to you when he is 'tired', how about adopting the approach of let him be? i go get my own life instead of waiting for the sms that never come and call that never returned? if he wants then call me, if not, let it be?
is this approach better or suitable? -
he knows that happends all the time. he wont be surprised. he will juz say 'who is the bugger' and very curious if that guy is eligible enuff.Originally posted by Icemoon:It doesn't have to be someone chasing you. Another BF?? When did I say that?
It could be as simple as a male colleague looking at you from a distance. I suppose such little things happen quite often.
Your point 1 is a strawman.
2 is atrocious. What kind of BF will think that way? -
Mr/ms nightzip, i have not seen him for one month.Originally posted by nightzip:Not to that extent lah...you must also maintain a relationship/contact with your bf mah...at least sms 1-2 times a day its ok...or meet up 2-3 times aweek for movies, or dinner or games etc is good.... -
Surely there are many mountains taller than you.Originally posted by nightzip:I will even call her less, cuz if i deem the other person more suitable and compatible with her...then i will initiate to break up with her....duh...bright advise....
There will *always* be people more suitable and compatible with her.
If one day you really meet that competition, don't tell me you will do what you describe above? -
Communication is the key. Over stickiness must be avoided to prevent yourself to be termed irriatating.
I say 2 sms a day, 1 solid phone conversation per day. -
well.. my own opinion would be to let him be for the time being. anyway, no point rushing him also. in the meantime, like i said earlier, don't think so much. and ya, go do something to occupy yourself in the meantime..Originally posted by veronicatan:ya, i dun want to.
but i am think, like what some of you guys say, let the man go and chiong (hopefully it is only work), he will come back to you when he is 'tired', how about adopting the approach of let him be? i go get my own life instead of waiting for the sms that never come and call that never returned? if he wants then call me, if not, let it be?
is this approach better or suitable?
anyway, don't really know if this is relevant to the topic at hand, but i suppose you should have heard of a saying that i roughly translate as that in a r/s, one should never be too dependent and loving towards the other party. but hey, don't get me wrong. i'm not asking you not to love him, but well.. you know .. ?
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Originally posted by veronicatan:i know that is unhealthy or harmful for a relationship. but looking that the facts, he is always not free to sms/return call and when i asked that qn, he doesnt reply, is that a sign of taking for granted. i know people in relationship should be understanding tat partner are busy and etc, but isnt relationship also about making time for each other? as it is, we only talk when we have the time. for the past 8 days, we only talked 3 times in msn cos we 'run' into each other coincidentally. the fact is, i have been waiting in front of the laptop for him to go online. yes, btw, he is posted overseas to work for 3 mths, 1 mth has passed. he is now overseas. and there is no difference in timezone
I would say give him the benefit of the doubt, since he's on official purpose overseas and not there to make merry.
At least try to lower what's 'standard' to you during this three months. IF love wasn't an issue, he has probably some good reason/s why he isn't proactive in upkeeping communication. Of course, you might argue that he could have make time for it if he has the heart to, but I wouldn't not advocate your thinking along that direction since it probably spell unnecessary worries and fears.
I wouldn't say he is taking you for granted literally, as this is likely to be a small hurdle of three months. You might want to relate your experience to him personally when he comes back and talk about it. After all, should you condemn him for something, at least allow him the chance to explain or at least improve himself if it's troubling you.
Meanwhile, do what you can to improve things - leave the major talk for later... when he comes back.
Cheers -
actually, men, unlike women, arent that fond of sms, if it didnt seemed neccessary to reply, then will be lazy to reply wan. so its not neccessarily taken for granted.Originally posted by veronicatan:3 months
i asked that qn cos he sometimes wont reply to my sms or return my call. sometimes he will call me, and then say he bz liao, cant talk. but he doesnt call back. i know he is busy with work, but... it wouldnt take alot to return a sms or call rite? is that taking for granted? -
1st, testing ppl is no good.
2nd, if i was the guy i also wont reply u........ put urself in his shoe and u will noe why.
3rd, ask constructive question, or a question with motive, if not i also wont reply, again, put urself in his shoe and u will noe why.
4th, treat every moment preciously, if ur too talkative ppl will look down on u, if u talk too little, little ppl dare to speak to u..... ( this applies for friends too) -
Allow me to present you a better perspective of what happened?
Eg
11pm fri nite, i was out with my friens and he smsed me
him: im goin to sleep
me: good nite, have a good rest ok? sweet dreams
him: wat are you doing:
me: goin to watch movie
him: with who?
me: with amy, cindy, catherine and their boyfriends. hows ur day darling?
no reply liao
next day, sat morning 9:30am he called my mobile
him: wat time you got home
(didnt even say hello)
me: how come u din reply my sms last nite?
him: i slept liao.
him: wat time you got home?
me: 2am
him: oh so fun ah
me: ok lah. watched movie.
him: got to go. talk to you later
then no call from him anymore the whole day
5pm, i smsed him: do you think you are beginning to take me for granted?
6pm he called but i was attending a customer, picked up a call and told him i cant talk. called him during dinner break but he said he working. but later oso never reply.
this has been happening for 1 mth liao. everytime call me, ask wat he wants to ask, then hang up. when i called/smsed him, he is always bz
is this normal? not taking for granted? -
ahh...then that's not so good wor....must see each other at least 1-2 times a week is good.Originally posted by veronicatan:Mr/ms nightzip, i have not seen him for one month.