Girlfriend and friends...
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exp laOriginally posted by bladez87:just curious phone bills ex anot?
mine almost 200 every month...rin's one 200++ -
not that bad mahOriginally posted by rainee:exp la
mine almost 200 every month...rin's one 200++ 
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i understand where you are coming from...but maybe I view rin as someone I can imagine spending my life withOriginally posted by bladez87:ahh for me...haha cant consider myself as attached before.
i not sure of u 2 ma, u forget i born in 87, now only 20yo, to me marriage is like so far away, so people my age have r.s for fun...well they dont normally last till marriage. if both of u aiming for marriage, then of course, putting you above his friends would be a better choice.
but i see so many of my friends, heartbroken after they break up, then i wondered, why is it that we prioritize our bf/gf and neglect others like friends and family, when our bf/gf might leave us, unlike our family.
for frenz, unless there is a serious conflict, or else also will not go to the extend of dissolving the friendship. normally when a r.s breakup, the people who will suppport u are your friends and family, not the one who broke up with u. if so why priortize someone who might leave u, and neglect those who will support u?
however bf/gf, u dont need a conflict, u just need 1 party to be unable to fulfill the needs of the other and there goes the r.s.
however note i said gf/bf, not spouse. to put friends above spouse is ridiculous. haha.
1/2 hour to me is not much, to you might not be much either, but to rin it might be alot. each of us have our own commitments, not saying that 30min for gf is a lot la, i mean outside of this context, 30min might be a lot. lol.
so happy for u 2. lol trying to resolve the problem before it becomes a volcano eruption.
btw pls dont take what i said seriously as i am just a 20yo who hasnt been into a r.s . for all u know, when the time comes i get attached, all these that i just said might go out the window. lol
That's why I cherish our r/s and want to do everything I can to make sure that it will not go wrong...
and yea, frens and family are important as well, so I do not say we shud neglect them. That's why I always told rin that it is important for him to have frens around him, esp since I am not with him 24/7, so I know he needs to go out with other ppl and occupy his time with other ppl as well. So I tell him to neglect his frens. And I have met some of his frens as well, if I want him to stop befrending them I wouldn't have gone to meet up with them
What I am trying to say is when u r in a r/s, both sides must find a balance. I understand the importance of spending time with frens and family members, but have to also spend time with ur gf/bf also. Otherwise why get into a r/s? -
want to ask u then wat is badOriginally posted by hisoka:not that bad mah
u ever spend that much on phone bill before? and it is not one month hor, already several months in a row liaoz...
i try to get the international calling card for him, but need to use house line, and to get the house line need to buy the modem, wich is not cheap as well... -
gf more important than friends =D
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have you tried asking him to try Skype?
i heard you can make internet calls to phones... that should lighten the bills a bit -
already checked the rate, it is more expensive than yahoo that we are using currently...Originally posted by smudgey:have you tried asking him to try Skype?
i heard you can make internet calls to phones... that should lighten the bills a bit
i m trying to get him to install the house line, then at least local calls will be free, and he just needs to get the calling card...ngam ngam getting my "bonus angpao" from my boss soon...can help sponsor the modem ba -
personally i feel that it's not necessary to talk over the phone everyday.
juz a sms to let me know that he's well is good enough..
dun understand why some people can talk on the phone everyday de leh..
talk about wat? routine matters? very boring de lor..
wun run out of topics de meh?
somemore long distance call is expensive lor. -
i oso dunno why always will have things to talk abt de...Originally posted by browniebaobao:personally i feel that it's not necessary to talk over the phone everyday.
juz a sms to let me know that he's well is good enough..
dun understand why some people can talk on the phone everyday de leh..
talk about wat? routine matters? very boring de lor..
wun run out of topics de meh?
somemore long distance call is expensive lor.
yea i understand it is exp, so i m trying to find out ways to help minimize his phone bill...
like wat i said, it depends on the individuals involved in the r/s...and also the nature of the r/s...ldr will usually require more communication de la, cos not like I am just staying opposite his hse and anytime want to meet then can meet... -
No offence, rainee.Originally posted by rainee:i oso dunno why always will have things to talk abt de...
yea i understand it is exp, so i m trying to find out ways to help minimize his phone bill...
like wat i said, it depends on the individuals involved in the r/s...and also the nature of the r/s...ldr will usually require more communication de la, cos not like I am just staying opposite his hse and anytime want to meet then can meet...
true u need more communication. but know where's the limit ba.
if one day he gets sick of talking with u every night le, how?
if one day he feels that he has lost his freedom, how?
it seems like a curfew lor..
me a girl, sometimes go out with frens also can hang till 11 plus.. not to mention a guy ar.. both parties should find a balance lor. frens, family and gf/bf are equally important. -
hmm...yea trying to find a balance nowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:No offence, rainee.
true u need more communication. but know where's the limit ba.
if one day he gets sick of talking with u every night le, how?
if one day he feels that he has lost his freedom, how?
it seems like a curfew lor..
me a girl, sometimes go out with frens also can hang till 11 plus.. not to mention a guy ar.. both parties should find a balance lor. frens, family and gf/bf are equally important.
Notice I never say he should neglect his frens or family. I have met most of them and they are great people. I don't think I wud want him to lose contact with them.
I don't mind if he stays out until 11 plus with his frens ma, but not all the time la...if all are equally important, he shud at least set aside some time to spend with me too rite?
And the whole morning and evening while I am work he is free to do watever he likes wor...not like I asked him to spend all 24 hours with me
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200 only 1/10 of your pay mah, must reach half haha.Originally posted by rainee:want to ask u then wat is bad
u ever spend that much on phone bill before? and it is not one month hor, already several months in a row liaoz...
i try to get the international calling card for him, but need to use house line, and to get the house line need to buy the modem, wich is not cheap as well...
anyway you spend more on lunch a month than on the phone bill -
lolz siao meh...cannot compare with the money i spend on food la...those are necessities ma...Originally posted by hisoka:200 only 1/10 of your pay mah, must reach half haha.
anyway you spend more on lunch a month than on the phone bill -
then no need to cal and talk so often lorOriginally posted by rainee:lolz siao meh...cannot compare with the money i spend on food la...those are necessities ma... 
anyway can call during office hours lah you also everyday on the net -
dats the compromise we set up with one another la, i wun disturb him during my working time...he can go and do watever he wans during that time...Originally posted by hisoka:then no need to cal and talk so often lor
anyway can call during office hours lah you also everyday on the net
cos last time we used to talk during my office hours ma, but he said he needs the time to do his other stuff... -
rainee, why not use msn voice conference? free de?
but bbb said what i wanted to say.
what if 1 day he really bored of talking anymore?
wldnt u anyhow think? negative tots will go to your mind.
if too routine, wld it be v boring? lol.
must give him freedom and space, u also. lol XD
dont take it in a negative way, take it with a pinch of salt. lol. -
my hse no internet connectionOriginally posted by bladez87:rainee, why not use msn voice conference? free de?
but bbb said what i wanted to say.
what if 1 day he really bored of talking anymore?
wldnt u anyhow think? negative tots will go to your mind.
if too routine, wld it be v boring? lol.
must give him freedom and space, u also. lol XD
dont take it in a negative way, take it with a pinch of salt. lol.
anyway have to mention mid march he going to taiwan for army training. so now a month before he leaves, wan to spend more time together.
well, I also dun wan it to become a routine, but from experience I think this is the best way le, to set a time to talk to one another. Otherwise it is very hard to maintain communication in the r/s. -
how often does he go out with his frens?Originally posted by rainee:hmm...yea trying to find a balance now
Notice I never say he should neglect his frens or family. I have met most of them and they are great people. I don't think I wud want him to lose contact with them.
I don't mind if he stays out until 11 plus with his frens ma, but not all the time la...if all are equally important, he shud at least set aside some time to spend with me too rite?
And the whole morning and evening while I am work he is free to do watever he likes wor...not like I asked him to spend all 24 hours with me
i think he mentioned 3 consecutive nights.
but does it happen every week? -
hmmOriginally posted by browniebaobao:No offence, rainee.
true u need more communication. but know where's the limit ba.
if one day he gets sick of talking with u every night le, how?
if one day he feels that he has lost his freedom, how?
it seems like a curfew lor..
me a girl, sometimes go out with frens also can hang till 11 plus.. not to mention a guy ar.. both parties should find a balance lor. frens, family and gf/bf are equally important. -
I'm just wondering why it is so hard to stay closer to each other. At some point of time you'll find this arrangement isn't so interesting after all right?
I'm assuming you two are doing this because of a lot of optimism for the future when you two really can meet more often than one day a week. -
but bbb..l am oso sure that NekoRin do feel happy to tok to his dear daily de...last time no matter how tired l am...l oso will like to hear my dear de voice...seriously...Originally posted by browniebaobao:No offence, rainee.
true u need more communication. but know where's the limit ba.
if one day he gets sick of talking with u every night le, how?
if one day he feels that he has lost his freedom, how?
it seems like a curfew lor..
me a girl, sometimes go out with frens also can hang till 11 plus.. not to mention a guy ar.. both parties should find a balance lor. frens, family and gf/bf are equally important.
Juz that maybe he is really busy cuz hav to meet frenz and do his own stuffs...so sumtime the toking session hav to be cut down...well there will be sum periods in life that u will be busy de mah... -
Ya haha..well if nxt time l had a gf le..l oso hope her to particapte in sgforums..and when we had problem...we will post out and see ppl responses and opinions..ya is healthy and good...Originally posted by rainee:haha at first I felt a bit weird posting problems abt us in the forum...partly cos most ppl here know us, and we have met some in real life as well...
but it's always good to get others' opinions
And I consider some forumites here as my frens as well, so wud love to hear their opinions abt this matter
And true enuff, I was not disappointed
Anyway hope that both of u will settle this problem together and worked to a solution, okies?
Dun be so disheartened and worried abt this problem...couples mah...sumtime will oso hav sum quarrels de...like my dad and mum...now so old liao..sumtime oso quarrel a bit...but after a day or 2...they will be alrite le... -
im sure he's happy too.Originally posted by xShevchenkox:but bbb..l am oso sure that NekoRin do feel happy to tok to his dear daily de...last time no matter how tired l am...l oso will like to hear my dear de voice...seriously...
Juz that maybe he is really busy cuz hav to meet frenz and do his own stuffs...so sumtime the toking session hav to be cut down...well there will be sum periods in life that u will be busy de mah...
but if he dun feel anything wrong with it, this thread wouldn't exist ba.
oh ya.. communicate for the sake of communicating?
or communicate when u really enjoy it? -
ya...well sumtime in a r/s...u will face sum problems that u really dun noe how to solve it de..and probably the problem that u two are facing is actually a very simple one..but both of u are in the midst of r/s and cnt think amd see properly..and l think that is the point to consult others for advices and how they see the problem..cuz as u noe oso la..outsiders will see and understand and read the whole story better when u hav explain it out in details..Originally posted by NekoRin:Hehe at first I also felt weird. But then having opinions and suggestions given by others is alot better than having both of us sitting down giving the "I don't know" statements.
Being open and listening to partner's problems and complains will reduce arguments by alot wor.
Ya..and NekoRin...is really good that u make the efforts and l am sure rainee is glad abt it! -
not a good idea.Originally posted by xShevchenkox:Ya haha..well if nxt time l had a gf le..l oso hope her to particapte in sgforums..and when we had problem...we will post out and see ppl responses and opinions..ya is healthy and good...
Anyway hope that both of u will settle this problem together and worked to a solution, okies?
Dun be so disheartened and worried abt this problem...couples mah...sumtime will oso hav sum quarrels de...like my dad and mum...now so old liao..sumtime oso quarrel a bit...but after a day or 2...they will be alrite le...
i wouldn't want my bf to see all the depressing things that i posted.