Girlfriend and friends...
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Oei... You went to far lah... we focusing on the life of a couple and the route. Not life in general leh.Originally posted by hisoka:time is endless, there will always be comethign after the end be it death or afterlife -
yup...definitely willOriginally posted by smudgey:yeah!!! then we can all go out together...
First need to convince my parents to let me stay in Singapore first tho
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this is Oh So TRUE!!!Originally posted by choco B:Sho shimple huh?
Yah it's spontaneous and exciting, till the long-awaited call or surprise doesn't happen LOL -
this thread suddenly becmes very chim...Originally posted by Bontakun:Oei... You went to far lah... we focusing on the life of a couple and the route. Not life in general leh.
*rainee goes off to get a cup of coffee* -
i think its more of social expectations and expected mindsets. the guys are still expected to pay in our medieval societyOriginally posted by rainee:happy birthday
haha I think it is to show the girl that he can provide for her ba, like telling her, "Dun worry, you will always have a good life with me." I think guys on the first few dates are like trying to advertise themselves?
This might be one way -
first few dates nia la, after that if u tink it is too much to pay for everything, when the girl offers to help u pay, just accept her offer lor...Originally posted by hisoka:i think its more of social expectations and expected mindsets. the guys are still expected to pay in our medieval society
If she really likes you and is considerate, think she will definitely offer -
humm okie same situation between u and rainee and my ex & I (except mine was sg-aus cannot even meetOriginally posted by NekoRin:Okay, before I get shot down/flamed/bitten by those whom know me, I have asked for the consent of my Rainee dear to post this for views and suggestions. (Since both of us are forumities it will be good for her to agree first :3 )
Yesterday dear she highlighted to me a growing problem which both of us think that it must be addressed fast before it worsens into an argument. The problem stems from me still outside with my friends past the time we are supposed to communicate over the phone. (10:30pm)
A little bit of our background. Me and Rainee are having a LDR (I'm in Singapore and she is from JB) and we can only meet up one day a week (Sunday). Thus in order to maintain this relationship it will be good to communicate frequently and so we set a time to call each other everyday. Up till recently there's some change in the routine.
I have many circles of friends... online-gaming friends (who will meet up every now and then for get-togethers), designer friends (ex-classmates/colleagues), RT/army khakis, ex-arcade khakis (whom become my good friends now even though we stopped going to gaming arcades), university coursemates, church group friends, fellow SGforumities etc etc. Quite often I will go out with my friends for a get-together as we don't have much time for catching up (they have their own commitments too) and most of the time we will be staying out till midnight. (Most of the time have to meet up after 9-10pm as some friends are in sales-line, have late knock-off hours and designer friends OT most of the time) Dear she is pretty ok if it's only once every now and then but I can sense that she is unhappy when I have to meet up with different groups of friends over a 2-3day period consec. From what she told me is that she kept up her end of the compromise of trying hard not to call/sms/msn me in the day and in the end seeing the conversation last only 5-10mins at night because I need to go back to my friends.
Anyone has suggestions and views about this matter? )
neko, my advise is to keep your promise to set aside time for your gal. i'm not saying 1hr, 2hr, 3hr conversation. just spend 20mins-30mins to catch up on your daily ongoings and stuff. i'm sure rainee feels unimportant because you did not keep your end of the promise. LDR is hard to maintain so extra effort has to be put in if you want it to last.
Rainee, maybe you can try to go out with friends and not wait at home for Neko to call. Time flies when you are having fun and Neko might become the one that gets worried why you din call. (okie evil idea i know but it works okie). Cut him a bit of slack once in a while. Like many women said, men r like kites, you gotta let got a bit of string then pull back a bit before they go the direction you wan.
I hope things work out for both of you okie?
(din read all the posts so pardon me if this is repeated) -
is v ez to see if a guy is true to you anot. if he keep paying for your dates, u can be sure he is true. if he keep getting u to pay for the dates, u are better of ditching him...well... unless he is saving up to buy u a big gift like 1 carot diamond ring.Originally posted by rainee:happy birthday
haha I think it is to show the girl that he can provide for her ba, like telling her, "Dun worry, you will always have a good life with me." I think guys on the first few dates are like trying to advertise themselves?
This might be one way
for me...haha providing a good life is out of the question. i only 20yo, where got income to provide good life. lol wait till i richer then yea...good life lol -
hmmm... let's just say, if you can afford it (you may not be rich, it might strain your finance a bit, might have to save up for a while) you'll be willing to make sacrifices knowing how happy your partner will be...Originally posted by bladez87:haha...ok la...i not saying calculative, but the $$$ like wasted.but looking at another way, perhaps also good, at least daily date expenses will not go so high since u 2 only meet weekly. haha.
i got friends who 1 date spend like 50-100. i hear liao also sian. how old u 2 ah? see u all spend $ like use water. lol -
yupz but its still societal expectation to pay for the first few dates. on a side note, it means the guy is expected to make losses and take the risks in getting the relationship goingOriginally posted by rainee:first few dates nia la, after that if u tink it is too much to pay for everything, when the girl offers to help u pay, just accept her offer lor...
If she really likes you and is considerate, think she will definitely offer 
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Interesting theory
Kinda like investment huh, if he keeps investing in her, it shows that he's got interest in future returnsOriginally posted by bladez87:is v ez to see if a guy is true to you anot. if he keep paying for your dates, u can be sure he is true. if he keep getting u to pay for the dates, u are better of ditching him...well... unless he is saving up to buy u a big gift like 1 carot diamond ring. -
when that happens, i let u know how happy i am. lol i am determined not to be attached until i know i have enough $ to provide for my gf or potential wife.Originally posted by smudgey:hmmm... let's just say, if you can afford it (you may not be rich, it might strain your finance a bit, might have to save up for a while) you'll be willing to make sacrifices knowing how happy your partner will be...
courtship is ex 1 leh! after courtship then dating...
my current situation is...i dont dare make any move because i scare her 1 year ago. just found the courage to sms her out...but during that time i was courting her also spent quite some $$$. lol.
the longer the courtship the more ex it becomes -
Thanks...Originally posted by the_don:humm okie same situation between u and rainee and my ex & I (except mine was sg-aus cannot even meet )
neko, my advise is to keep your promise to set aside time for your gal. i'm not saying 1hr, 2hr, 3hr conversation. just spend 20mins-30mins to catch up on your daily ongoings and stuff. i'm sure rainee feels unimportant because you did not keep your end of the promise. LDR is hard to maintain so extra effort has to be put in if you want it to last.
Rainee, maybe you can try to go out with friends and not wait at home for Neko to call. Time flies when you are having fun and Neko might become the one that gets worried why you din call. (okie evil idea i know but it works okie). Cut him a bit of slack once in a while. Like many women said, men r like kites, you gotta let got a bit of string then pull back a bit before they go the direction you wan.
I hope things work out for both of you okie?
(din read all the posts so pardon me if this is repeated)
Yea I do want to go out with frens, but because of my work schedule, I only reached home around 1030pm most nights, and other nights I will reach home around 8 plus. Just in time to have dinner with my parents (when i reach home at 8plus), then after that I will occupy my time with some dramas/animes.
But think never had problem on those days when I come back at 8 plus, if I can give Rin credit, it is that he is very punctual when he calls me on those nights he are supposed to call. Only on those days when he is out with his frens and I come home late, I will call to find he is in the midst of a gathering with his frens. -
Originally posted by hisoka:i think its more of social expectations and expected mindsets. the guys are still expected to pay in our medieval society
Its something of an IN-BUILT system in us that we auto treat liddat.
Can't help much. Besides, $$$ is temporary, relationships are worth alot more than that.v -
I also want...Originally posted by rainee:this thread suddenly becmes very chim...
*rainee goes off to get a cup of coffee*
I want hot chocolate!!! -
yeah so sad.Originally posted by Bontakun:
Its something of an IN-BUILT system in us that we auto treat liddat.
Can't help much. Besides, $$$ is temporary, relationships are worth alot more than that.v
relationships are worth mroe, the problem is are you wasting the money and not getting it -
I got nutella~~~ -oo-Originally posted by smudgey:I also want...
I want hot chocolate!!! -
haha. dont say until so crude leh...i have innocent mind...didnt think until reaping returns until u say so.Originally posted by choco B: Interesting theory
Kinda like investment huh, if he keeps investing in her, it shows that he's got interest in future returns
my point is if the guy is paying, he wants to give her security and provide comfort and good life. if he want to play play only, why wld he keep paying and providing for her? too much $$$ ah. lol. if future returns = marriage and love. yea why not. lol
if he got ulterior motive, you think the girl will find out so easily meh? guys who want quick returns normally do the sowing quick. lol. -
I am not saying you can provide it now la, you are just trying to show her that you will try/able to provide her with that in the futureOriginally posted by bladez87:is v ez to see if a guy is true to you anot. if he keep paying for your dates, u can be sure he is true. if he keep getting u to pay for the dates, u are better of ditching him...well... unless he is saving up to buy u a big gift like 1 carot diamond ring.
for me...haha providing a good life is out of the question. i only 20yo, where got income to provide good life. lol wait till i richer then yea...good life lol
And I know my dear is true to me not because of this, but becos of all the other things he has done for me as well
That's why I cherish him and our r/s so much 
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bingo! spending $ but not getting the r.sOriginally posted by hisoka:yeah so sad.
relationships are worth mroe, the problem is are you wasting the money and not getting it
thats bad -
so calculative for wat?Originally posted by hisoka:yupz but its still societal expectation to pay for the first few dates. on a side note, it means the guy is expected to make losses and take the risks in getting the relationship going 
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hmmm it depends on your gf also ma....Originally posted by bladez87:when that happens, i let u know how happy i am. lol i am determined not to be attached until i know i have enough $ to provide for my gf or potential wife.
courtship is ex 1 leh! after courtship then dating...
my current situation is...i dont dare make any move because i scare her 1 year ago. just found the courage to sms her out...but during that time i was courting her also spent quite some $$$. lol.
the longer the courtship the more ex it becomes
last time with my ex, i picked up most of the tab, cos i earned more...
and we normally just alternate on who picks up the bill... -
share leh, what other stuff has he done for u? perhaps i can do for the girl of my interest too. no chocob i do not have any expected returns...Originally posted by rainee:I am not saying you can provide it now la, you are just trying to show her that you will try/able to provide her with that in the future
And I know my dear is true to me not because of this, but becos of all the other things he has done for me as well That's why I cherish him and our r/s so much -
Hehe been a long time since I done this...Originally posted by smudgey:I also want...
I want hot chocolate!!!
but just for smudgie...
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ok ok enough talk i tmr exam. go study liao. tmr then talk. good luck u 2.