Is chastity still valued?
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100th!
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Darn you! I missed it again!
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Originally posted by M©+square:Darn you! I missed it again!
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Nehmind. i still got the 101th post.Originally posted by blu_sky: -
Wah rao! I missed it by so much....Originally posted by M©+square:Darn you! I missed it again!
Cheers -
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i value chastity and chaste women.
do not be swayed by those who lack principles or morals.
humans who indulge in promiscuous sex are no better than animals....
at least in the animal kingdom, the males mate to extend their lineage, while the unmarried human males do it for pleasure and pleasure alone, free of worry,responsibility or the commitment of a sacred bond, moving on to the next conquest with little regret to repeat the ritual once he's had enough of the previous partner. -
Why not you select a nice guy from this forum as BF ??? I suppose there are many nice and handsome looking guy who will cherish your chasity.........
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Lots of couples had pre-martial sxx with each other and then went on to have successful marriages....
a lot of people have sxx with other people before they meet their long term partner and were totally happy.....
if someone wants to remain a V until marriage that is her choice....
But if someone thinks that pre-marital sxx is important that is his choice also.... it is ok for that person to state his view.
And the two of you must somehow stick to an agreement....
There are couples who ended up in sxx-less marriages because one partner doesn't want ot have sxx EVER. or have zero or near zero desire for sxx...
personally, i know someone who suffer from that.....
to the orginal poster.. r u one of of the low libido person....
Can you assure your future life partner that you are "normal" after marriage... and that your "chastity" is not just a shield to hide your low sxx drive.... -
Hey Kuri! Rmb me?
Rmb when i said i've sort of been thru wat you've been thru & my last parting msg to you was that it's all a journey?
So many replies here, hav briefly read them thru but too tired to scrutinize in details.
Anyway, what i've told you before still counts. If it helps, look back at what i've wrote
all over again. You may have different perceptives and feelings this time.
Cheers & good luck!
Youdonknowme -
Be proud of your choice. It takes a lot to withstand the tide of "progress"
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Wow, you need help.Originally posted by blu_sky: -
Double standards here...but i'd want my gf to be a virgin lah of course. Different story if it's a casual encounter. Call me hypocrite, i don't care.
And TS, it's just a matter of time. Maybe in the meantime, you can please him in other ways? Relationship is all about compromise. Unless you don't love him enough to want to make him happy as well lor. -
It need not be low sex drive causing problems although that is a possibility. If people live in an "escape from reality" mode, then they only suffer and make others suffer with them.Originally posted by spencer99:Lots of couples had pre-martial sxx with each other and then went on to have successful marriages....
a lot of people have sxx with other people before they meet their long term partner and were totally happy.....
if someone wants to remain a V until marriage that is her choice....
But if someone thinks that pre-marital sxx is important that is his choice also.... it is ok for that person to state his view.
And the two of you must somehow stick to an agreement....
There are couples who ended up in sxx-less marriages because one partner doesn't want ot have sxx EVER. or have zero or near zero desire for sxx...
personally, i know someone who suffer from that.....
to the orginal poster.. r u one of of the low libido person....
Can you assure your future life partner that you are "normal" after marriage... and that your "chastity" is not just a shield to hide your low sxx drive....
If people think that they are "good" because they are "virgins"; that is such an extremist position. Some people think that they are "good" because they are willing to kill themselves for their cause (killing others with them).
If people think that others are "bad" because they are not "virgins"; that is another extremist position.
"I have a right to be "CHASTE" and "CHASTITY" is "GOOD" - I have a right to my beliefs!
"I have a right to kill people in the defense of my Faith and Killing people in the defense of my faith is good - I have a right to my beliefs!
So are they both right? So how do we judge?
THE CONSEQUENCES!
Real life is not so simplistic. You need to be intelligent otherwise you are no better than animals. You refuse to think and live life in automatic mode blindly following rules.
You must consider how "chastity" is "good' as well as how "chastity" is "bad".
Many people end up in mental hospitals because they cannot do that. They cannot see how a so called "good" thing can be "bad" and a "bad" thing can be "good".
In their heads, everything is either "good" or "bad". You can end up in a mental hospital if you live life like that.
You are very right in pointing out that there are many people with very successful marriages even though they had premarital sxx.
The possibilities are endless and to say "virgin=good" and "non-virgin=bad" is going down to the level of animals and refusing to think.
Premarital sxx can be good or bad, it depends. So you might think, "Is there nothing "good" in this world?" There is nothing "perfectly good" in this world. You need to use your brains.
Do you think that suicide bombers go around thinking how "evil" they are? Of course not, they go around thinking how "good" they are.
So are there no "laws" to live our lives by? Of course there is. There is the Law of the country for example. There is the unwritten LAW of consequences, for another.
Five thousand years ago up to even one hundred years ago, Chastity was not only good, it could be life saving.
People do not understand things like germs and virus and STDs. Pregnancy and abortion killed many women. Non-virgins are ostracized by society.
Now the chances of pregnancy if you use contraceptives properly are very low. If you have only one sxx partner and practice "clean" sxx, the chances of getting STDs are very low. Even abortion if you don't do it so many times is relatively "safe". Most people do not care if their wives are virgins.
There are consequences if you chose to have sxx before marriage and there are consequences if you chose to remain a virgin before marriage.
There is no free lunch.
Use your brains and don't live life like an animal according to rules and regulations blindly, without thinking about the consequences of chastity and the consequences of remaining a virgin. -
Hear, hear!Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Real life is not so simplistic. You need to be intelligent otherwise you are no better than animals. You refuse to think and live life in automatic mode blindly following rules.
There are consequences if you chose to have sxx before marriage and there are consequences if you chose to remain a virgin before marriage.
There is no free lunch.
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Consequences of remaining a virgin ? i dun understand.! lol! what Consequences! hahaha... when remaining virgin lol!Originally posted by spinsugar:Hear, hear! -
Originally posted by BadzMaro:Consequences of remaining a virgin ? i dun understand.! lol! what Consequences! hahaha... when remaining virgin lol!
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means yo get no booty.Originally posted by BadzMaro:Consequences of remaining a virgin ? i dun understand.! lol! what Consequences! hahaha... when remaining virgin lol! -
the guy shud respect the girl's decision...
maybe this is just one of her life principles, and it is not easy to change one's life principle...
the girl wans to preserve her virginity until after marriage, i see no wrong with that. it is her body so she has the choice whether she wans to give it or not. that's essentially the power that most girls have over guys, and the sad thing is that most girls nowadays just give it away freely, without realizing they have lost something valuable to them... -
been dating for two mths plus now.. two weeks plus ago decided to give him a nice surprise n make us 'official' by playfully asking if he would b my bf oneday after he has been lamenting why i still didnt want to accept him as my bf and we had spasms of tensions cos of that issue for quite a while.Originally posted by browniebaobao:A question here.
Kuri, wat's ur relationship with him now?
BF/GF?
or still that ai mei guan xi?
i knew we still had outstanding issues that's why i was even holding back on that bf/gf thing but technically we were just like any other couple hold hands etc. n he said if he just wanted a physical relationship with me he wouldnt bothered if we'r official cos better still if i'm not his gf he could still get another one. well,true and i do hav feelings for him but i had doubts if it would work out cos with clashes in a few fundamental issues the tiffs we had so often it's gona b difficult..asked myself quite a couple of times why then did i make concessions towards him time n again n gave him my first kiss when we werent even together smt which i even kept from my ex.
perhaps i was too scared of losing him or my last break-up scarred n changed me. just felt he means too much to me to just let him go without giving each other a chance..
i'm still gona stick to my staunch belief n he knows very well that but it still causes upheavals sometimes when he asks for one or two related compromises.. he has no intention of breaking up no matter how bad our tiffs or tensions get.. but it has gave us quite a lot of stress at times n inevitably some subvert stress as well.. he says he loves me with all his heart so he's willing to do watever it takes to keep us together i do believe him yet i know some things r easier said than done i can sense his frustrations. just hope it can really work out.. -
he says he is willing to do watever he can to keep the r/s going?Originally posted by kuri:been dating for two mths plus now.. two weeks plus ago decided to give him a nice surprise n make us 'official' by playfully asking if he would b my bf oneday after he has been lamenting why i still didnt want to accept him as my bf and we had spasms of tensions cos of that issue for quite a while.
i knew we still had outstanding issues that's why i was even holding back on that bf/gf thing but technically we were just like any other couple hold hands etc. n he said if he just wanted a physical relationship with me he wouldnt bothered if we'r official cos better still if i'm not his gf he could still get another one. well,true and i do hav feelings for him but i had doubts if it would work out cos with clashes in a few fundamental issues the tiffs we had so often it's gona b difficult..asked myself quite a couple of times why then did i make concessions towards him time n again n gave him my first kiss when we werent even together smt which i even kept from my ex.
perhaps i was too scared of losing him or my last break-up scarred n changed me. just felt he means too much to me to just let him go without giving each other a chance..
i'm still gona stick to my staunch belief n he knows very well that but it still causes upheavals sometimes when he asks for one or two related compromises.. he has no intention of breaking up no matter how bad our tiffs or tensions get.. but it has gave us quite a lot of stress at times n inevitably some subvert stress as well.. he says he loves me with all his heart so he's willing to do watever it takes to keep us together i do believe him yet i know some things r easier said than done i can sense his frustrations. just hope it can really work out..
then ask him to respect your decision.
maybe he can sense you are afraid to lose him. that's why he can exert pressure on you.
show him that you ain't afraid to leave him if he ngeh ngeh wans to ask you go against your wishes. Then see if he still honors his words. -
What is your true reason for remaining chaste? Yes I see in your first post you wanted to keep it for your marriage, but obviously that is not enough of an answer to remain adamant to your belief otherwise you would not be bothered by your boyfriend's comments on this issue.Originally posted by kuri:been dating for two mths plus now.. two weeks plus ago decided to give him a nice surprise n make us 'official' by playfully asking if he would b my bf oneday after he has been lamenting why i still didnt want to accept him as my bf and we had spasms of tensions cos of that issue for quite a while.
i knew we still had outstanding issues that's why i was even holding back on that bf/gf thing but technically we were just like any other couple hold hands etc. n he said if he just wanted a physical relationship with me he wouldnt bothered if we'r official cos better still if i'm not his gf he could still get another one. well,true and i do hav feelings for him but i had doubts if it would work out cos with clashes in a few fundamental issues the tiffs we had so often it's gona b difficult..asked myself quite a couple of times why then did i make concessions towards him time n again n gave him my first kiss when we werent even together smt which i even kept from my ex.
perhaps i was too scared of losing him or my last break-up scarred n changed me. just felt he means too much to me to just let him go without giving each other a chance.. i'm still gona stick to my staunch belief n he knows very well that but it still causes upheavals sometimes when he asks for one or two related compromises.. he has no intention of breaking up no matter how bad our tiffs or tensions get.. but it has gave us quite a lot of stress at times n inevitably some subvert stress as well.. he says he loves me with all his heart so he's willing to do watever it takes to keep us together i do believe him yet i know some things r easier said than done i can sense his frustrations. just hope it can really work out.. -
You cannot think of any consequences of remaining a virgin? hahahaha, you have very limited imagination and or are brained-washed. There are consequences to all the choices you make in life, even those choices that are in the negative.Originally posted by BadzMaro:Consequences of remaining a virgin ? i dun understand.! lol! what Consequences! hahaha... when remaining virgin lol! -
~Ohohohoh....Originally posted by LazerLordz:means yo get no booty. -
Sad? Why so? I think it's just up to individual's belief?Originally posted by rainee:the guy shud respect the girl's decision...
maybe this is just one of her life principles, and it is not easy to change one's life principle...
the girl wans to preserve her virginity until after marriage, i see no wrong with that. it is her body so she has the choice whether she wans to give it or not. that's essentially the power that most girls have over guys, and the sad thing is that most girls nowadays just give it away freely, without realizing they have lost something valuable to them...