I'm in love with one of my best friends
-
why did you get together with your bf in the first place ? if you had feelings for your best friend already , you shouldnt have accepted your bf . it would be so unfair to him . to think all the while his gf has been thinking of another guy .
from what i see now , do you mean to say you're treating your bf as a substitute now ? cos you said that it wouldnt be hard to be faithful to your bf now as your best friend has someone in mind , which i intepret to be that if your best friend has feelings for you you would probably dump your bf and be with him . this is just my interpretation . that would be so so so unfair to your bf .
i suggest . sort out your feelings now . talk to your best friend . find out if he has any feelings for you . if he doesnt , just give up this thought and love your bf wholeheartedly . you have to make a decision , or else your bf would be hurt even more as this drags on . -
girls r dumb.
so easily swayed
sometimes the new guy not even serious about her just want her body etc
so pretend be nice and all
understanding and all that crap
pretend to provide solutions to her current r/s problems
NATURALLY
the dumb girl will be swayed over.
Period. -
i'll ask u to stick to ur current 1.
here's mine
i'm in love with my best friend who's in love with her best friend who's in love with his best friend who's in love with her best friend
but in the end we all remain frens -
Actually... I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say....?Originally posted by red|pixie:He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him?
So... Correct me if I'm wrong?
1. The guy you're interested in just found out a week ago that you're interested in him.
2. That guy you're interested in is in love with another girl who doesn't love him back?
3. You afraid things might be more complicated when the guy you're interested in lost his interest in the girl he's currently interested in?
How old are the 3 of you?
To be honest with you... It's not uncommon that people don't put in their 100% in their relationship... The KEY is SELF-WILLINGNESS... Sometimes it's really no point pushing yourself too hard just for teh sake of doing it....?
Can you tell us more of what happened between you and that guy you're interested in? -
Originally posted by red|pixie:He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him?
I am afraid that logic and habitual reason/s won't sustain the relationship for long.
Yes indeed, it's logical to try to coerce yourself to love someone - albeit you don't really love - you called as boyfriend. But seriously, how long do you plan to maintain your relationship in this kind of logical equation that makes absolute sense, but doesn't add value emotionally?
Before I talk about your best friend, let's examine your current relationship.
(i) You spoke about the differences between you and your boyfriend, but do you perceived it as considerable incompatibility?
(ii) And if the answer is yes, then why, despite the incompatibility, do you even allow yourself to be in a relationship with him?
(iii) You mentioned 'years', what appears to be the real reason for sticking with him, if love wasn't the motivation behind the 'seeming harmonious' relationship?
(iv) You mentioned that there was a 'chance' your best friend might be with you instead; was this incident BEFORE or AFTER your current boyfriend made his appearence?
(v) I would like to know details of your relationship; how long you knew your bf before coming together? How did it happened? How long is the relationship? His personality? Your views on him? On this relationship? Your age?
Cheers -
Just some thoughts...
It's normal to find someone more attractive than your bf (or gf... it applies both ways). The issue here is for you to remember, you've made a commitment at some point in time. It doesn't matter when, but since you've made it, you've got to work at it.
Talk to your bf about your crushes, talk about your insecurities, talk about how you feel, and it's best to talk as soon as the problem arises. That way, things get brought out and can get resolved sooner rather than later.
About your problem, realise that there's so much more than just "things we have in common" in a relationship. I just got engaged to someone who doesn't share many things in common with me, but I know I can trust her and that she'll be there for me. Friends who share common interests will come and go, and likewise, your interests will change and you can't possibly change partners just because you change interests.
Cheers -
Most of the couple together doesn't seems to have a lot of common interest bahs.
But the decision is still yours. I was wondering why do you fall for your good friend now than back in the past? -
follow your heart, nobody's right or wrong in love
-
when it comes to affairs of the heart, I'm afraid we can't tell you exactly what you should do.
But you know yourself what you ought is right for you. -
What's the point in carrying on in a one-sided relationship?
-
think bout it, decide, or juz leave and forget bout both of
them, its hard, but iit can be done
JIAYOU
-
It is not easy to find someone that love you. It is more blessed to be loved than love. Treasure your BF ba.
-
note that when a friend becomes a boyfriend things between you and him will change a lot. there are things a friend can do that a boyfriend cant. things a boyfriend is expected to do when a friend normally doesnt have to. there are things you can say to a friend, but not always to a boyfriend.
-
before u do something,u always think about it's worthy or not.then,u needn't do it at all.
-
think u are probably caught up in the "what if he was my boyfriend?" scenario rather than liking your friend truthfully.Originally posted by red|pixie:He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him?
the "what if he was my boyfriend?" scenario stems from the fact that you two COULD have been together but did not eventually, thats where the idea of having a relationship with him probably popped up. the good thing is that this could and should be temporary since your best friend doesn't love you.
maybe your relationship with you current bf is getting dull or hit a kerb somewhere, thus leading you to sway your thinking about your current relationship. but relationship is about perseverance and feeling. apparently you still have feelings for your current boyfriend since you still consider his feelings( but my heart's not 100% in it)
like some of the people here, the best thing u can do is just forget about your best friend as a love interest as it can never occur. instead treasure what you currently have instead of asking for what you don't have. -
sort out your feelings, no point prolonging the agony..
-
i'll try to be the bad guy this time round, You're such a b!tch lor, having a bf but yet still likes another? shame on you, if you really think that the other guy is the one for you then break off with your current bf and go for the "due love you but love other gal" guy.
-
break. since heart not in it already
-
go steady with your friend lah. kick your bf away lah.Originally posted by red|pixie:He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him? -
follow your heart... logic will distort the truth but the heart is always true... jia you jia you
-
Go for the one u really like. U all are not married yet and u still have the right to make ur own choice. but jux dont regret after making that decision
-
Totally agreeOriginally posted by LifeIsWonderful:go steady with your friend lah. kick your bf away lah.
Since she is already thinking of leaving him then better go.
The Bf must really thank her for that.... -
actually you will have that kind of feeling is purely because of many factors .
you find ur boyfriend not as good looking as that guy
your boyfriend charisma and character lose out to that guy
you find ur relationship not very steady in terms of what the guy can give u
you simply just feel physically attracted because hes HANDSOME.
i once asked my female friend . would you have sex with a guy if hes handsome like louis koo and interested in you and he wants to do it with you ,.. even though she have a boyfriend. she replied "YES"
this goes to show human always ask for the best. -
Originally posted by dorwin:actually you will have that kind of feeling is purely because of many factors .
you find ur boyfriend not as good looking as that guy
your boyfriend charisma and character lose out to that guy
you find ur relationship not very steady in terms of what the guy can give u
you simply just feel physically attracted because hes HANDSOME.
i once asked my female friend . would you have sex with a guy if hes handsome like louis koo and interested in you and he wants to do it with you ,.. even though she have a boyfriend. she replied "YES"
this goes to show human always ask for the best. I ask someone the same question and she says 'No'.
P.S: I have no quibble with your post, just that I hope you do understand that the part in red is grossly misrepresented and cannot be used in any form of conclusion or judgement, other than being individual opinion or percept in that particular question.
Cheers -
I dont know but i get the feeling you didnt read it properly..either that or you have a very short memory. no offence attended.Originally posted by zeny:hummm
If you got so many what ifs or so many regrets then why start a relationship with your bf ? DO you admit that you ever loving your bf at all since your heart is always thinking of this "friend"? Are you just using your bf for the time being only?
Let me put it this way if your "friend" say that he loves you, will you dump your bf asap to be with him? lets be honest shall we since no one here knows who you are.
sadly to say that by making the above statement only shows that you have made up your mind.
I asked how to get over him and said i intended to stay with my bf cos i dont want to hurt him.
And no..i was never using my boyfriend. It was over between me and my friend when i met my boyfriend. We both moved on and i fell in love with my current boyfriend. But now the old feelings are starting to come back. And i'm not going to dump my bf even if my friend says he loves me. I just cant. I need something to help me get over him