Betrayed by my best friend.
-
precisely, that is the big dilema perhaps since Hp and email were invented?
what made the Ts check in the 1st place?
is it a fling? -
TS, I understand how you feel. However, the decision lies with you as to whether you want to continue the relationship with your bf. Obviously the trust has been broken but then again, if you are already deeply in love with him, a breakup might not be what you want.
At the end of the day, it's HOW you feel that matters.
-
Actually that's a very big question regarding this dilema.Originally posted by tek_koh:precisely, that is the big dilema perhaps since Hp and email were invented?
what made the Ts check in the 1st place?
is it a fling?
In the past, I had a gf who probably 2 3 4 timed me. Many of my friends who saw her outside told me of the matters but I thought since I love her, I should trust her. But when too many pple told me the same matter, I asked her and she denied very innocently and even got worked up. I felt so bad for suspecting her. But in the end she still dumped me for another guy. Actually she went steady with that guy before she broke up with me. The irony was that so called 3rd party didn't even know I was her bf after seeing me. The mentality I took was to trust and never check her HP.
I also had another gf who I suspected something wrong and I checked her phone and found that she and her ex actually re-ignited old flames while we were preparing for ROM. Really broke my heart. Of course we broke up.
When people are prepared to go into a relationship especially after so many failed due to infidelity, we must be prepared to have the other party checking up on us. I also understand that the both sides could be checking on each other frequently. This is because of a natural reaction to desire to know more about each other. There can be many empty talk about trusting means shouldn't check. Or even a barrier of privacy. But in terms of a committed relationship, the barrier is non-existance. The only thing you can keep from your other half are the confidential work related matters. The only way to reduce the frequency of such checkings on emails, hp is to build up the trust. Talk is cheap, it is via your daily actions that you let your other half know you deserve that blind trust. Let your other half check all he/she wants. Because if you got nothing to hide means you have nothing dirty to be found out. After some time as the suspicion grows weary as more trust is instilled, there will be a day when the checkings will stop.
But the trust is easy to smash and hard to build. When the trust has been built up yet smashed down, the next time to rebuild it will be harder or even impossible. Think thrice before doing anything to jeopardise the trust.
Therefore the best way is never to endanger yourself (esp. girls) into situations whereby you can be victimised by people with an integrity problem. In the first place when you already have a relationship, why would you want to go out alone with an opposite gender. If the person is someone you're not familiar with is even worse. It will not hurt, in fact be better if the outing is a group outing. Creates a healthier bonding as friends. My wife does that and so do I. Catch a movie or go track riding, we have our own circle of friends.
After talking so much. The main idea to get across is about building trust. And recognise each other's need for a reason to trust the other half. Then win that trust via your actions regardless how long it will take. Also do not endanger yourself into situations whereby you can potentially lose the trust of your other half.
I'm not some pro counsellor, but had my fair share of ups and downs in life. Also learnt things the hard way like many of you go through. But hopefully I manage to share some insights regarding relationships from a married man. -
Trust is an Illusion.
Action is Confirmation.
Love is Hallucination.
I would forward a copy of the email to the BF and the "best friend".
Then gladly tell them, they can keep each other. -
You should thank your best friend for revealing just what kind of bf you have. U dun want to make your life more miserable than it already is by burning your bf's car coz it's a crime and committing it makes you a crimial, whether you end up being arrested or not......... I would think that the best way forward is to just move on. Get on with your life! Be thankful that you've learnt of the nature of both your bf and your best friend and be more cautious where r/s are concerned.........
-
seduce him and cut off his member when hes distracted or asleep.
and don't forget the girl. take naked pics and videos and send around + ruin her life -
I really feel for you and understand your anger but hey, it's not worth to break the law (by burning your BF's car or do anything illegal) to ruin your own life for someone who doesn't appreciate your love for him.Originally posted by libbytan:I have this best friend from australia who visited Singapore one week ago and left yeaterday.
So we meet up a few times and went out shopping and movies and eating together.
My boyfriend was with me and her the whole of last week visiting Singapore tourist attractions and shopping centers.
My boyfriend drives a suzuki swift and a few times he went to pick my friend up or sent her home after our shoppings.
While checking my BF's e-mail today, I discovered that he and my best friends are e-mailing each other.
The shocking part is that in one of their e-mails....she discribed the night she spent in the rear seat of the car making love to my BF and she said that she really like my BF. My BF also replied that she is the one woman who can make him feel like a real man and like a pampered king.
WTF man....I am so pissed now....I want to burn my BG car to take revenge.
Any better suggestions?
While I know it hurts, try to calm down and move on. I am not saying it's easy but it's not much point to continue on with the relationship. The trust has already been broken. Count yourself lucky that you get to see the true colour of your BF as well as your so called best friend now rather than later.
Be strong and cheer up my friend. You deserve someone better!! -
why burn his car...just reply them the email...say let them be together and ask them dun even bother to contact u anymore. anyway, their kind of r/s won't last cos it will involve a lot of guilt, mistrust...
then move on to look for ur prince charming...actually u shld cry out heng ar... it's better to know now than later.. -
Edit. Pour a 1kg sugar into your bf car petrol tank.
then act blur. dunno why he is sarbo. but drop hint that your g/f's g/f might be back in sg.
-
ouch. anyway, that fella isnt worth ur time.
-
well.... both so call good friend and bf cannot be trusted..
time to get new friends n bf -
BTW, milk your b/ & your best fren first.
Make them spend money buy you stuffs, make them be your chauffer, tour guide and make them pay for your holiday with them.
Then dump them unceremoniously, telling them you seen the emails and is disgusted with them.
Tell all your friends, relatives & his & her friends too! -
Take a marker and proceed to the nearest toilet.
Scribble the following on the wall:
1. For free sex, call
2. Cheap Social Escort, call
Ok, Jokes aside, back to topic.
I think you should have a talk with him. No use beating around the bush.
Cheers.
CK -
Originally posted by libbytan:I have this best friend from australia who visited Singapore one week ago and left yeaterday.
So we meet up a few times and went out shopping and movies and eating together.
My boyfriend was with me and her the whole of last week visiting Singapore tourist attractions and shopping centers.
My boyfriend drives a suzuki swift and a few times he went to pick my friend up or sent her home after our shoppings.
While checking my BF's e-mail today, I discovered that he and my best friends are e-mailing each other.
The shocking part is that in one of their e-mails....she discribed the night she spent in the rear seat of the car making love to my BF and she said that she really like my BF. My BF also replied that she is the one woman who can make him feel like a real man and like a pampered king.
WTF man....I am so pissed now....I want to burn my BG car to take revenge.
Any better suggestions?
I am just wondering whether executing the vengeance would make you more miserable later on.
I think that should be the main consideration of what you should do now.
Cheers -
I strongly second this.Originally posted by Yunhaier: I am just wondering whether executing the vengeance would make you more miserable later on.
I think that should be the main consideration of what you should do now.
Cheers
TS, remember that if you resort to taking revenge to quench the thirst for vengence makes you the same level as the guy & friend who betrayed you. Don't be considered as the same league as them. Would you want to seek happiness in doing things meaningful to your life than to dwell in the misery of the painful past? The choice is yours to make.
Consider on what you want to do with your life now. Because this is the main objective of your existance. Also, change a bf and friend. I forgot who said you deserve better but I raise both hands agreeing to that statement. -
Don't go and do damaging stuff.
If you do it, they can turn around and accuse you of being a biatch that's why he cheated or left you.
Why give them the ammunition just because they carry the guns ??? -
TS needs Affirmation of her feeling of betrayal.
Besides her best friend. Her b/f also betrayed her. -
this is the worst one would want to expect.
*pat pat*
slap ur bf real hard n make him rem whenever he touch his face.
as for ur best fren, confront her and end this frenship with her.
they are one hell matchmake couple. dirty and cheap.
u deserve someone sooooooooo much better. -
How long have you two been together?
Is it the first time he had betrayed your trust?
Do you think you can ever trust him again?
Is he truly repentant?
These are some of the qns I asked myself when my bf once betrayed me..
If letting go is a liberation to yourself, don't hold on bitterly. Time heals all wounds.
Good luck. (: -
this kinda bf...if for me la, once i found out, i will dump strait awayOriginally posted by libbytan:I have this best friend from australia who visited Singapore one week ago and left yeaterday.
So we meet up a few times and went out shopping and movies and eating together.
My boyfriend was with me and her the whole of last week visiting Singapore tourist attractions and shopping centers.
My boyfriend drives a suzuki swift and a few times he went to pick my friend up or sent her home after our shoppings.
While checking my BF's e-mail today, I discovered that he and my best friends are e-mailing each other.
The shocking part is that in one of their e-mails....she discribed the night she spent in the rear seat of the car making love to my BF and she said that she really like my BF. My BF also replied that she is the one woman who can make him feel like a real man and like a pampered king.
WTF man....I am so pissed now....I want to burn my BG car to take revenge.
Any better suggestions?
no need to even think about revenge, dun waste your time, go look for a better one out there -
Say is easier than do. normally ppl just say dump that cheater but only the person that gone through knows all.
If you can put down this relationship, just tell him straight to break off. And after that, remove all contact from him and try to have a groups of friends to accompany you to pass through this darkest moment. have more events ya. i believe u will pass through
If you can't put down, then just tell him straight what you know and tell him your feeling and see what his reply. If he really repent then you have to try to forget this incident and both of u should continue work on this relationship
But i can tell you, if you ready to accept him, you must bear on this heart pain, this incident cannot be forget and will be a scar between you and him forever, it might raise up and cause you to have heart pain from times to times. it might be lesser with time but it hard to gone.
So personally my advice is, if only less than 2 yr relationship I would advice u to try put down and let go. This pain is really hard and the frustration and pain that to be gone through it not verbally can be describe. the more you love the person, the harder the pain is.
SO if possible, just let go and start your life afresh...
I sincerely wish you have a better relationship after this... -
Once the trust is broken it is better to start over. Imagine you married then you will always afraid he cheat on you?
-
VK's solutions work the bestOriginally posted by viciouskitty74:BTW, milk your b/ & your best fren first.
Make them spend money buy you stuffs, make them be your chauffer, tour guide and make them pay for your holiday with them.
Then dump them unceremoniously, telling them you seen the emails and is disgusted with them.
Tell all your friends, relatives & his & her friends too! -
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
This is too revengeful. The cycle of hate and violence will never end. Just let go.
BTW, milk your b/ & your best fren first.
Make them spend money buy you stuffs, make them be your chauffer, tour guide and make them pay for your holiday with them.
Then dump them unceremoniously, telling them you seen the emails and is disgusted with them.
Tell all your friends, relatives & his & her friends too! -
the bottomline is still the same as what i said what: let go and start life afresh is the same as dumping the guy and looking for a better one lorOriginally posted by vivasg:Say is easier than do. normally ppl just say dump that cheater but only the person that gone through knows all.
If you can put down this relationship, just tell him straight to break off. And after that, remove all contact from him and try to have a groups of friends to accompany you to pass through this darkest moment. have more events ya. i believe u will pass through
If you can't put down, then just tell him straight what you know and tell him your feeling and see what his reply. If he really repent then you have to try to forget this incident and both of u should continue work on this relationship
But i can tell you, if you ready to accept him, you must bear on this heart pain, this incident cannot be forget and will be a scar between you and him forever, it might raise up and cause you to have heart pain from times to times. it might be lesser with time but it hard to gone.
So personally my advice is, if only less than 2 yr relationship I would advice u to try put down and let go. This pain is really hard and the frustration and pain that to be gone through it not verbally can be describe. the more you love the person, the harder the pain is.
SO if possible, just let go and start your life afresh...
I sincerely wish you have a better relationship after this...