Finally broke up..why m still so devastated?
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It's a decision you've made and you've stand by it...
Memories of good and bad will forever be around if you choose to lock them in your mind and heart...
Time to let go and see other perspectives in life and find new meanings to erase them off...
You have all of us here to support you... Be strong and be firm...
Me believe you'll make this through... -
suan le la...hao ma bu chi hui tou chao...
good horse don eat the grass it hab walked past? -
Common, guys and gals is different. Most of the time, after a girl breaks up, the guy that love her most will accompany her thru times like this after breakup and only during this time the girl will feel loved, well, girl having another bf like this not very strange, but if a gal broke up wif a guy, very seldom that the gal will be there for the guy. lols.
Well, TS, try to look beside u if u see guys like this. Well, I am just stating from my own experience tho. -
my frds made me promise i wont care bout him anymore..but i just cant..i willed myself to keep to ignoring his calls n smses but i cant stop caring.i gave his dad a sms this evening bout smt i know to try to help him mayb i m stupid but honestly i hav to admit that even tho i believe with time n after much pain i'd eventually move on i wont b able to cease to care for him totally.the scope will b different but i'd still care.everybody who heard the story i had with this ass will say i m stupid but i loved him it's true.even with so much hurt he has inflicted upon me,i sincerely wish for his well-being and that things will eventually work out for him.now i just hope i can find things to do to ease my pain..hurts so bad couldnt rest when i closed my eyes..
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anyway for those who had asked wat happened is somewat http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=238569&page=13 onwards continued n intensified.
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well then. although we are strangers here in the forums, we do go outings and make friends. but regardless, you can confide in us in sgf. we will listen to you, and support you in the dark moments of your life.
really, i think you are foolishly in love. so much so that you cant pull yourself out. care for him is alright. but you should not let him take advantage of this. everyone has the rights to care for someone , but that does not always mean the caring is mutual. you need someone to call for you too, or else even if your feelings is like a sea, 1 day also will be drained de...
this is call 2 way traffic...what goes 1 way, empties the other. -
It will be over soon..
cheer up..
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right now...i think she is sad. devastated. nothing we say will be of help to her. she just needs someone to pour her woes out to. lend a shoulder, give some tissues.
words would do no help to someone who is devastated. lets just wish her the best...and that she can walk out of this dark period asap. -
over time the feelings will dull..
but there will always be times when u feel lonely n sad n u regretted e decision u made.. den u will began to try contact him again and stuffs.. for ur own good, dun do tat.. trust me.. just let it go..
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Well, cheer up my dear, you can be a better person that way. Prove to him, you can be a better person without bastard like him!
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You are not stupid, you are just being NORMAL.Originally posted by kuri:Finally made a firm break with that asshole...some of u might remb the chastity thread posted a few months ago..things got so bad his family told me to inform them and call police if he ever looks for me again.they asked me to cut off ties with him for their good, for his and for mine.i know he's not worth the heartache but i cant help hurting so badly.i cant take my mind off him the times we hav been thru both good and bad wind up in my head in never ending replays.after so much torment the breakup should be a relief,why m i still so devastated?could barely go to sleep and barely have the strength to get out of bed...n i m not quite sure if this is the end of things with all these complications..still cried so hard when he kept sending me msgs ytd nite..i m so mad at myself for feeling this way.so guilty for still missing him.so ashamed of my stupidity.how do i recover...i just want to get me back..
What you are going through is a phase of SELF-DOUBT.
It is the most common psyche EVERYONE goes through after a break-up.
Do not worry, it shall pass. ALL relationship be it good one or bad ones are NOT immune to this phase. After you are done with this phase, you will proceed to the recovery phase.
Just remember this, when your self-doubt threatens to overwhelm you with images of good times together.
Tell yourself this. Even if you turn back, the relationship WILL NEVER be the same anymore. The good times is just the PAST. Now it is time to look FORWARD to your future.
note: I read the old thread. And wooo hooo girl, that guy knows how to jerk you around real good. -
Dun worry, I am sure you can find someone better
For now, just grieve for a while, then realize that life moves on. Indulge in some activities that will cheer you up, go out with some frens, etc -
Be brave and strong.
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Originally posted by kuri:my frds made me promise i wont care bout him anymore..but i just cant..i willed myself to keep to ignoring his calls n smses but i cant stop caring.i gave his dad a sms this evening bout smt i know to try to help him mayb i m stupid but honestly i hav to admit that even tho i believe with time n after much pain i'd eventually move on i wont b able to cease to care for him totally.the scope will b different but i'd still care.everybody who heard the story i had with this ass will say i m stupid but i loved him it's true.even with so much hurt he has inflicted upon me,i sincerely wish for his well-being and that things will eventually work out for him.now i just hope i can find things to do to ease my pain..hurts so bad couldnt rest when i closed my eyes..
Be strong.Originally posted by kuri:Money's not in yet he said he deposited the cheque ytd nite so give it one more day to go into my account.Dunno what to say bout his repeated delays anymore.
Feeling terribly sick now..when i smsed him bout my condition n that he had been too self absorbed to care bout me he didnt even know i m sick he sent me an mms with some ugly cartoon guy playing guitar n add in the title "i love you", the very same one he has sent me at 4am this morning. does he expect me to feel touched or even comforted at all? this crap is too impersonal to give me any sense of warmth or concern even.. what's the point of being in a relationship when it makes me feel so unloved and uncared for..for the past few days he didnt even want to hear my voice..refused to pick up my calls..sms me stuff that makes me feel so cold inside then suddenly "dun take it as i love u any less. i love you beyond words." why then he didnt even bother to pick up or give me a call back sometime? sick of this kind of sms "cycles".
he says his liver hurts from too much med i showed him concern he gives me the attitude, i called him he doesnt want to answer then what can i do? why keep smsing me? n keep smsing me at 3+am 4+am expecting me to reply promptly?
i m so tired of all these..tried to talk to him so many times bout it..even tho it has only been a short few months..there has been too much turmoils..each time after some hard talk n he did corrective actions from then on..only to return to square one not more than two weeks later..
wats the point of claiming how much he loves me n trying so hard to prove it only to disappoint me time n again with his kind of behaviour.
where is my dear when i need love and comfort the most..i'm not even expecting him to b physically ard for me that would b nice but i wouldnt ask for it.. i just want a bit of tlc at least a short phone call of concern or a verbal *huggies dearie* is it too much to ask for?
i'm trying to convince myself to set off after i get my money back.
i'm urging myself to give up on him yet it hurts so much.
in my heart still lies this tiny ray of hope that i want to be the one who could survive darkest times of his life with him.my love for him still hasnt died.
but it's so unbearably taxing emotionally n mentally i dun know how long i can survive if i continue staying ard for him. -
take care u will get beta 1
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Yes you must move on. Yes its hard, but trust me, you will get over it eventually. Just try to think less now and when times pass by, it heals all wounds.....
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having a clean break is a good start.Originally posted by kuri:Finally made a firm break with that asshole...some of u might remb the chastity thread posted a few months ago..things got so bad his family told me to inform them and call police if he ever looks for me again.they asked me to cut off ties with him for their good, for his and for mine.i know he's not worth the heartache but i cant help hurting so badly.i cant take my mind off him the times we hav been thru both good and bad wind up in my head in never ending replays.after so much torment the breakup should be a relief,why m i still so devastated?could barely go to sleep and barely have the strength to get out of bed...n i m not quite sure if this is the end of things with all these complications..still cried so hard when he kept sending me msgs ytd nite..i m so mad at myself for feeling this way.so guilty for still missing him.so ashamed of my stupidity.how do i recover...i just want to get me back..
to be able to forget a relationship is a difficult thing, but try your very best to forget.
there's many ways to forget such problems.
many people would feel avoiding the person will help, but i feel otherwise, because if everytime we face a obstacle, than we avoid and hide from it, there's no way we can grow and learn how to overcome this obstacle, i would suggest that you talk to him in person (of course with a friend whom you trust much) than be firm.
love is complicated, one moment you can love him, the other moment you can hate him, but why still have this love and hate at the same time is because he might have said something which trigger your inner self, the promise that you told youself when you were young, that you will stay by the guy who says that' promise to you.
perhaps this might be the case for you, i'm not sure, since i have yet to read your previous post, or if i had, i have forgotten about it.
no matter what problems we face everyday, we still have to learn to move on, so the same goes in BGR, the earth, the sun and the moon, + time will not stop rotating just because of a single person. everybody's life is just as important, it's up to the individual to handle and solve their own problems.
if you feel it's hard for you to forget this relationship, than i would suggest this method. Go to East Coast Park, Bedok Jetty, take SunBlock if you intend to stay and sit there for a full whole day to relax.
At times when I feel really troubled, than I'll packet lunch/dinner there, stay for as long as 3/4 (18hours) of a day, catching the last train back home, from morning to late night. Just by watching and listening to the wonders of nature, it works for me.
I find this way particularly useful for me personally. It has washed me off my problems for good, but of course, the damage is still there, but it has helped me through my emotional healing. I will go near the sea whenever i have problems that I can't solve.
Than I'll just go to the beach/by the sea, let the sea breeze blow off my worries at least for the day..
last time i started off by going there regularly since the problems keep bugging me..but slowly as i start to think back, it's just part of growing up.
Take care and grow stronger.
If you feel East Cost is too crowded with no personal space, than you can try other parks with sea views.
I personally go to Kallang due to the real quietness of that park and to save me the trouble of squeezing with the crowd. Since when I'm troubled, i like to be alone.
If you prefer to have company, you can ask your friends who really care to accompany you there. You just need to sit there, think of nothing, don't speak, just learn to appreciate the nature, and it will help you emotionally.
If you need company, let the gals know, they most probably wil accompany you. But if all else fails, than let me know, if you don't mind meeting me than I walk you the that quiet place. (make me the last resort as you are facing an emotional hurricane thus you need to have someone who care for you)
Perhaps after I have gone through your previous thread than I'll able to give you more advices.
Til than take care.
Be strong. -
hey lady
go for a trip.
Take a trip to somewhere that is very un-Singapore. Hey, maybe backpack.
Go and see the world, see that the world is huge and beautiful, and that you are still young, and that there are many things waiting for you to do or experience.
Be assured also that what you are going thru is a phase in life. A phase for you to learn thru the pains, so that you will become stronger. -
Wound require time to heal..
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it's so painful suffering in silence..to hav almost everybody think i m in the wrong even tho i gave my all...the most heartbreaking of all he thinks i m leaving him for a third party..which is not true.i want so much to explain to him but i cant..if i reply him or answer his call it will never end..yet it hurts so much to hav him think that i betrayed him..i really loved him i nvr did him any wrong n i would nvr do that..i just wish he could know..the struggle i face everytime i see his smses..it's killing me...
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Originally posted by kuri:it's so painful suffering in silence..to hav almost everybody think i m in the wrong even tho i gave my all...the most heartbreaking of all he thinks i m leaving him for a third party..which is not true.i want so much to explain to him but i cant..if i reply him or answer his call it will never end..yet it hurts so much to hav him think that i betrayed him..i really loved him i nvr did him any wrong n i would nvr do that..i just wish he could know..the struggle i face everytime i see his smses..it's killing me...
he's juz finding fault with u.
he dun even wana pay up, and now accuse u of seeing another guy.
forget abt him ba.
dun cry le. not worth shedding tears over this kind of jerk.
quickly go get the bank to help u with ur bank statements, settle the money issue first. The wound will take time to heal. -
Why bother to explain? By explaining, do you expect him to accept that it's his fault (Which i confidently doubt so). You should know better as this's not the 1st time, not the 2nd time, not the 3rd time....many many times...Originally posted by kuri:it's so painful suffering in silence..to hav almost everybody think i m in the wrong even tho i gave my all...the most heartbreaking of all he thinks i m leaving him for a third party..which is not true.i want so much to explain to him but i cant..if i reply him or answer his call it will never end..yet it hurts so much to hav him think that i betrayed him..i really loved him i nvr did him any wrong n i would nvr do that..i just wish he could know..the struggle i face everytime i see his smses..it's killing me...
Why struggle? What's the point?
You just ain't get used to your current situation.
Hard as it may be to you for all his actions, speeches & texts to you, but that's the point of showing you all these....to make you feel difficult and not to reflect the faults/wrongs on him....
Ok...next he'll says or texts you that he's sorry and regretful for what he has done, blah, blah & blah.....admit all the faults onto himself....
SO? -
Girl,
Forget about the money. It's not worth it.
Forget about explaining to him, you don't owe him one.
Let him say or think what he wants about you.
IT DOESN't MATTER anymore.
CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
The inconvenience is DEFINITELY worth it. -
ah kuri, when i initiate break up with my ex, he said im leaving him for third party, but theres so many eyes to see, you dont have to worry about it. hes just trying to find a better stage for him to walk down.
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man have STRONG PRIDE and EGO.Originally posted by kuri:it's so painful suffering in silence..to hav almost everybody think i m in the wrong even tho i gave my all...the most heartbreaking of all he thinks i m leaving him for a third party..which is not true.i want so much to explain to him but i cant..if i reply him or answer his call it will never end..yet it hurts so much to hav him think that i betrayed him..i really loved him i nvr did him any wrong n i would nvr do that..i just wish he could know..the struggle i face everytime i see his smses..it's killing me...
They can't risk losing thus they want to win and say lots of nasty things to make themselves look good
Although I'm a guy, but ya, that's the truth, so don't be too affected by what guys say if they didn't look at you in the eyes when they speak..
Any words can fly out of the mouths when both parties are angry, so it's pretty normal.
since he can't control, than just forget about him..
move on and you're find a better man outside..