Attached but in love with another guy
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which planet did this idiot come fromOriginally posted by vivasg:Elindra,
Did I judge? I just comment only.
Yes I think u a sl*t. Of cz u no issue otherwise u wouldn't have do tat.
Sharing ur personal experience to TS? u want to share and teach her how to be a sl*t? Please have some moral ok...
Did I ever said mine defination is the right answer? I think u are paranoid.
Go and read all ur previous posting, dare me to say u not justifying.
yes u pursue ur own happiness and be a sl*t (i think) and match with a gf stealer. A Heavenly match... wat go around comes around
Don't give more excuse. if u break clean with ur ex before found ur new target it would have been different story. U just a sl*t that don't wish to get lonely before found a new life boat. But there no sympathy to ur husband of ur's since he such a cheap chap to snatch a use tyre.
Xiaozzhen,
No problem, is my pleasure to share a good article. I personally felt is very meaningful and give a new insight of love
Just one more personal thought to share.
Simplicity of love is happiness.
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plz read what she wrote dude.Originally posted by Drizzit:i really advise u against breaking up with your bf just because the other guy is nicer.
i think u should settle the issue with your bf 1st b4 bringing the other guy into your consideration.
And no point comparing how nice your friend is and how !@@!$ your bf is.
the friend could just be a classic "nice to all girls for the sake of u noe wat"
and when he successfully wooed u and after u 2 are together for 5 years, he might just be worse than your current bf man.
other guys is nicer but there is no love!
It is her current bf that she love... -
Originally posted by Vampire X:I know its wrong, but I can't help it. I must be crazy. My boyfriend X is a nice chap, however he often cares alot on his face. Sometimes, due to some occasions which will make him lose face, he will scold me & ignore me for a while, and always point that I am wrong. I did told him about my view but he still think I am wrong. He always find my behaviour wrong & impolite & trying to correct me. An example is when a stranger accidentally knock onto me from behind (which I am unable to notice at all) , my boyfriend X will say I am wrong not to let people walk first. Sometimes I cannot stand the way he treat strangers nicer than me.
Recently, I have a bit of liking on my colleague Y who is a very nice guy. He often sms me to encourage me. I will smile when I see Y sms but I always tell myself I cannot "hiew" Y as I already got a boyfriend. I cannot have a chance to be in the kind of temptation at all. I should be loyal to my bf but frankly speaking my bf often ignores me when he is busy at work. He seems to be able to live without me. But still he is with me for 5 years and I should not be in love with someone else. I am confused. Can anyone help me?
Your man is a traditional man, being relatively conservative in his approach with affection and appreciation. Man like him tends to display a 'reverse' order in attitude towards their relationship as they generally buy the self belief that love means having to discipline... the way parents do to their child and tell them that's love for them. They will probably relate this typical story: 'If I didn't care for you, you think I even bother to scold you?'
The traditional man also sees himself as the provider and his ability to provide comes from his career. He may seemed nonchalant when it comes to his work, because he's fighting a war out in the corporate world, attempting to improve his market value, job prospect, salary, promotion, learn new skill sets and everything else that could give him any form of opportunities to become a better provider in the long run... insofar as to be able to provide a better life for his SO (significant other) and his future kids.
Unfortunately, in that perceived 'near-perfect' macro picture, the traditional man often omits the finer brush details and neglected the woman's emotional needs. And if he subconsciously decides that the length of the relationship itself, which is actually false pride, could surmount most challenges, that sort of mindset could cost him a hell of a price to pay.
There are times when a woman would be equally happy even if their man merely sits with her, while watching her favourite show together and devouring that tub of ice cream.
I won't say that Y is definitely a viable candidate for you to leap ship, but surely, he enlightens your long-suppressed heart and mind by revealing the frustration you experienced in your current relationship.
Would you have faced this conundrum if your relationship is blissful? Not likely or at least you wouldn't be so affected.
Looking deeper; why is your relationship so unfulfilling for you? Is it because you are NOT communicating enough to build that basis understanding and expectation of what a relationship should be like? Chances are, your man has no idea of what you are feeling absolutely, despite leading the relationship for five years, as it appears to me like you are very accepting about the unnecessary evil that is causing your unhappiness.
It would probably be worse if his parents are exuding such qualities as well - those sublime early childhood influences might just linger far too much.
Before you execute him from your life - give him a fair trial. At least, imho, if your situation improves, you might still want this relationship ultimately. Date him out and give a solid heart-to-heart talk. Make this matter a known case and at least see if there's a mutual agreement/solution to resolve it.
Cheers -
Come to think of it, i'm really worried coz sometimes i behave like the way u described your bf.. OMG
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i agree...Originally posted by sillyme:Hello Vampire X,
A healthy relationship is one that gives each other room to grow. Maybe your boyfriend's intention is good, but he is indirectly hurting you.
Be sure to tell him how you feel when he berates you.
If you have given this relationship enough chance and it's going nowhere, then you should consider moving on.
a nice talk would really solve the matter.
he remind me of someone.
super serious career minded de old man...
haiz it is actually not Love problem between you 2 lah... it's fine...
he just think what suit you right, better manner, more serious with things, dun take thing likely...
maybe he might sound like you parent or teacher... right?
so you dun like your parent lecture you right? if yes, you also wont like his 'lecture'... he is actually not angry with you but just lecturing nia...
don't worry... tell him that you dun really like it during right time... if in wrong time, he might give you another 'lecture' on how he love you and teach you for your own good...
haha... -
i dunno why, seems that almost every advice you gave was what i wanted to say... hmm... we used same skill to decide the right path? lolOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Your man is a traditional man, being relatively conservative in his approach with affection and appreciation. Man like him tends to display a 'reverse' order in attitude towards their relationship as they generally buy the self belief that love means having to discipline... the way parents do to their child and tell them that's love for them. They will probably relate this typical story: 'If I didn't care for you, you think I even bother to scold you?'
The traditional man also sees himself as the provider and his ability to provide comes from his career. He may seemed nonchalant when it comes to his work, because he's fighting a war out in the corporate world, attempting to improve his market value, job prospect, salary, promotion, learn new skill sets and everything else that could give him any form of opportunities to become a better provider in the long run... insofar as to be able to provide a better life for his SO (significant other) and his future kids.
Unfortunately, in that perceived 'near-perfect' macro picture, the traditional man often omits the finer brush details and neglected the woman's emotional needs. And if he subconsciously decides that the length of the relationship itself, which is actually false pride, could surmount most challenges, that sort of mindset could cost him a hell of a price to pay.
There are times when a woman would be equally happy even if their man merely sits with her, while watching her favourite show together and devouring that tub of ice cream.
I won't say that Y is definitely a viable candidate for you to leap ship, but surely, he enlightens your long-suppressed heart and mind by revealing the frustration you experienced in your current relationship.
Would you have faced this conundrum if your relationship is blissful? Not likely or at least you wouldn't be so affected.
Looking deeper; why is your relationship so unfulfilling for you? Is it because you are NOT communicating enough to build that basis understanding and expectation of what a relationship should be like? Chances are, your man has no idea of what you are feeling absolutely, despite leading the relationship for five years, as it appears to me like you are very accepting about the unnecessary evil that is causing your unhappiness.
It would probably be worse if his parents are exuding such qualities as well - those sublime early childhood influences might just linger far too much.
Before you execute him from your life - give him a fair trial. At least, imho, if your situation improves, you might still want this relationship ultimately. Date him out and give a solid heart-to-heart talk. Make this matter a known case and at least see if there's a mutual agreement/solution to resolve it.
Cheers
i was finding the word to represent her bf... i actually wanted to say old-fashon but feel that it is offensive so didnt used it...
so the word i was finding is 'tradition'...... -
hmm maybe can try to initiate a frenly and nice heart to heart tok with him and tell him u dun like his temper or whateverOriginally posted by Vampire X:Hi all, I am so touched by all your advices, no matter is good or bad . Thanks for scolding or encouraging me. After reading all your replies, I got many thinking from different directions. Really thanks !Different people give different opinion.
Sorry I started the topic without thinking what topic to put as I am too concentrate to write the content so just anyhow type "in love with another guy" , actually i treat him like my colleague only or maybe just a friend . Y is a popular guy in my company and he encourages me in my studies & my work. We contact through email & sms mostly. We sometimes went for lunch but not often. Really a good friend. Me like his character not love lar. He ever date me out but I rejected. As I got a bf already, how can I go out with other guys on a date. I cannot be unloyal to my bf anyway.
I agree my bf is a MCP. he can be very nice. he is very friendly and fillal , always help his friends or others and even strangers. He can't stand rudeness especially he see kids nowadays behaving so badly. He is caring but is not mushy type and not romantic. When he went overseas to work, he will not contact with me much, maybe 1 or 2 phone calls over 2 months & he will not say "I miss you" those kind of words. when he is back,I realise he often buy back alot things for me. He always care about me but does not show out. He will often say I am troublesome but in the end still will give in to me at times when he knows my heart.
He is those cool cool type not those sticky kinda guys. But I am disappointed with him when there was once I asked him if he can be without gf. and he say he can be alone even without gf. Its okay to him. So i am quite sad about this.
Of course, other things like many times he will scold me when I did not use my brain to think before asking him questions. one example is when he already told me he is meeting his friend and I later ask him if he wana go his home for dinner. He will scold me for not using my brain like he already told me why I still ask somemore. Sometimes I really forget. I think of what I ask what. seems like I tend to make him angry easily.
Zeny mentioned some things which i agree. Maybe that's why I still tolerating him is because I love him more than anything. by the way, i am 25 my bf is 29. i always hear people says that guys are career minded. I guess my bf is trying his best in his career.
Everyone has a temper i guess. Sometimes he did go out to karaoke with his colleague girls and I used to nag at him saying how come he's the only guy. He will reply me saying that its all about trust and we should have mature thinking. If I kept restrict him like this means that I don't trust him. Later I did not question him as I thought I should trust him. and yes so far he never betray me before.
I like him as he give me a security feeling he shows no interest in other girls , his normal hobbies is watching soccer & playing playstation just like normal guys. I would say only thing bad about him is his temper. Whenever he cannot stand my action, he will turn suddenly from smiling to an angry face telling me what i did wrong & I am always apologising to him. He can also scold me in front of his relatives & never give me face also. He always want me to socialise with his relatives but I often smile & did not talk much things.
for his temper, actually everyone always say I am patient but nowadays I start to wonder how long can I be . Yes can I tolerate this kinda behaviour for 10 more years? I really don't know. -
ts,
follow what you think is right.
if you think Y can bring you happiness, then go for it lor.
no wrong with your 'loyal to bf' mindset
but, what you should do is to follow where your heart leads to.
god bless. -
My advice style is also straight to the point and I do not like to beat around the bush. My advices are always hash thats why many people could not take it.Originally posted by Vampire X:Hi all, I am so touched by all your advices, no matter is good or bad . Thanks for scolding or encouraging me. After reading all your replies, I got many thinking from different directions. Really thanks !Different people give different opinion.
Sorry I started the topic without thinking what topic to put as I am too concentrate to write the content so just anyhow type "in love with another guy" , actually i treat him like my colleague only or maybe just a friend . Y is a popular guy in my company and he encourages me in my studies & my work. We contact through email & sms mostly. We sometimes went for lunch but not often. Really a good friend. Me like his character not love lar. He ever date me out but I rejected. As I got a bf already, how can I go out with other guys on a date. I cannot be unloyal to my bf anyway.
I agree my bf is a MCP. he can be very nice. he is very friendly and fillal , always help his friends or others and even strangers. He can't stand rudeness especially he see kids nowadays behaving so badly. He is caring but is not mushy type and not romantic. When he went overseas to work, he will not contact with me much, maybe 1 or 2 phone calls over 2 months & he will not say "I miss you" those kind of words. when he is back,I realise he often buy back alot things for me. He always care about me but does not show out. He will often say I am troublesome but in the end still will give in to me at times when he knows my heart.
He is those cool cool type not those sticky kinda guys. But I am disappointed with him when there was once I asked him if he can be without gf. and he say he can be alone even without gf. Its okay to him. So i am quite sad about this.
Of course, other things like many times he will scold me when I did not use my brain to think before asking him questions. one example is when he already told me he is meeting his friend and I later ask him if he wana go his home for dinner. He will scold me for not using my brain like he already told me why I still ask somemore. Sometimes I really forget. I think of what I ask what. seems like I tend to make him angry easily.
Zeny mentioned some things which i agree. Maybe that's why I still tolerating him is because I love him more than anything. by the way, i am 25 my bf is 29. i always hear people says that guys are career minded. I guess my bf is trying his best in his career.
Everyone has a temper i guess. Sometimes he did go out to karaoke with his colleague girls and I used to nag at him saying how come he's the only guy. He will reply me saying that its all about trust and we should have mature thinking. If I kept restrict him like this means that I don't trust him. Later I did not question him as I thought I should trust him. and yes so far he never betray me before.
I like him as he give me a security feeling he shows no interest in other girls , his normal hobbies is watching soccer & playing playstation just like normal guys. I would say only thing bad about him is his temper. Whenever he cannot stand my action, he will turn suddenly from smiling to an angry face telling me what i did wrong & I am always apologising to him. He can also scold me in front of his relatives & never give me face also. He always want me to socialise with his relatives but I often smile & did not talk much things.
for his temper, actually everyone always say I am patient but nowadays I start to wonder how long can I be . Yes can I tolerate this kinda behaviour for 10 more years? I really don't know.
From the above story only proves I am rite, you love your bf too much.
With my very own eyes I saw gals and guys like you who tolerate this kinda of behaviour for years. The results sadly is the same, only 20% end up in marriage and 80% end in seperation. Others like you put up 12 years... but in the end lost the battle cos they woke up one day to ask themselves why should they put up with it? They give so much in the end the other half just take it for granted and only hope for more.
In you I saw myself, I too love very deeply and given my life for the person I love. In the end I found out that she is only using my love for her own wants and needs. So what is love ? keep on giving knowing that she is using me or give up and find another gal? I took a brave step and ended my suffering.
I broke up with her and she finally realise her mistake. She tried to patch back with me but I refuse, the damage was done, I did my best and decided that was it. -
seriously .. i think u shd leave him. No guy does that to his gf !!! it's very damaging to ur self esteem if u stick with him. Are u willng to tolerate this ur whole life just cos u've been together 5 yrs ? Just cos of old memories sake? Break up with him and find someone new cos u deserve better .. guys like this should take a life lesson .. take it as u are making him a better person.Originally posted by Vampire X:well, thanks for your advise. I did thought to do that. But somehow i don't want to quarrel over these tiny small things with him. He is stubborn & always think he is right.
Sometimes, its really pointless to talk to him. He will always think I still did not correct my mistake & think I am right whenever I tried to reason out with him. And also I do not want to spoil the years of relationship with him. No one is perfect anyway. I just have to tolerate with him. He is very nice most of the time just that temper bad only.
There's once happened 2 years ago, when I accidentally fell down a block of stairs & roll down. My legs were bleeding & so pain till I cannot walk properly, he scolded me for not paying attention & did not walk properly. He even added that I totally throw his face in public.
He walk off rapidly & I just lipping my leg following him. I am angry but still I tolerate. I apologise to him saying I should have walk carefully next time. I also don't know how long can I stand him. I can always advise my girlfriends this kind of man don't want suak suak ki, but when happen to myself, I really don't know how to handle. Actually I am quite afraid one day I may let off everything & ignore him, then it will really be the end of our relationship.
sometimes u need to be cruel to be kind..
btw, r u with him .. cos u r of marriable age, and u're afraid that if u leave him .. u won't be able to find another suitable life partner? do u feel that since u've been with him for 5 yrs .. u can withstand another.. 50 ? or .. do u sincerely love him for what he is, and accept him for whatever he's not. Think about it .. if u can find the answers to my question, i think u'd see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Good luck !!! -
Before you start calling me an ass* or whatever. Pls read over what I have written.Originally posted by vivasg:hmm.. sound to me many forumer gals here, always 1 leg steps 2 boat.
Start complain their bf when get a new target.
And when the new target is stabilize, dump their current bf.
hahaha... so tat is singaporean gals style hmm...
poor singaporean man
current bf ~ get dump - heartbreak la wat ever la...
new guy ~ ^^ so happy his luck get to his side able to hook the gal over from their bfs ( but think properly still use tyre wat) aihh...
hahaha...
Zeny,
U such an assh* teach ppl gf go dinner alone with other guy (somemore the guy is interest to her one). wat go around come around u take care
"If you do not believe my words, lets do a test then.
Ask your colleague Y out for a dinner alone as a friend without telling your bf at all. After a nice dinner with Y, are you willing or even dare to say it to your bf?
This test will show how much you put him in the first place cos even going out with another guy alone as a friend is so tough on you."
Please note that this test for her is only just a dare for her thats all.
She will not do it cos it shows how much love she have for her bf.
Is just only a simple friend's dinner thats all and she knows she cannot do it cos it will hurt her bf alot if he knows about it.
Anyway the most impt thing is that the TS understand herself now.
I believe she will know what to do. -
l dun tink u shld leave ur current bf
ask urself why u like and fall in love with ur bf at 1st?
and not becos u see better ppl around...encourage u or whatever...haha for goodness sake... who noes whether there are any hidden intentions behind...who noes he may be trying to act as a good guy now..but his intentions is juz to bed u..
of cuz la...by encouraging u and saying nice things to u to make u happy and let u attract to me..and at the end of the day..l may hav the chance to bed with u..which guy wont wan...
l tink u shld juz stick with ur decent bf better..tink properly 1st -
err just a question to TS would you mind if your bf want to give his first time to you? just asking ..Originally posted by xShevchenkox:l dun tink u shld leave ur current bf
ask urself why u like and fall in love with ur bf at 1st?
and not becos u see better ppl around...encourage u or whatever...haha for goodness sake... who noes whether there are any hidden intentions behind...who noes he may be trying to act as a good guy now..but his intentions is juz to bed u..
of cuz la...by encouraging u and saying nice things to u to make u happy and let u attract to me..and at the end of the day..l may hav the chance to bed with u..which guy wont wan...
l tink u shld juz stick with ur decent bf better..tink properly 1st -
I think TS should read this What is REAL LOVE?
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just ignore him/her/whatever .. vivasg doesn't seem to have much r/s experience ..Originally posted by zeny:Before you start calling me an ass* or whatever. Pls read over what I have written.
"If you do not believe my words, lets do a test then.
Ask your colleague Y out for a dinner alone as a friend without telling your bf at all. After a nice dinner with Y, are you willing or even dare to say it to your bf?
This test will show how much you put him in the first place cos even going out with another guy alone as a friend is so tough on you."
Please note that this test for her is only just a dare for her thats all.
She will not do it cos it shows how much love she have for her bf.
Is just only a simple friend's dinner thats all and she knows she cannot do it cos it will hurt her bf alot if he knows about it.
Anyway the most impt thing is that the TS understand herself now.
I believe she will know what to do.
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My boyfriend X is a nice chap, however he often cares alot on his face. Sometimes, due to some occasions which will make him lose face, he will scold me & ignore me for a while, and always point that I am wrong. I did told him about my view but he still think I am wrong. He always find my behaviour wrong & impolite & trying to correct me.
Strictly speaking, this would not be considered a behavior of a nice guy, so he is not nice at all, you might wanna try to see the situation as an outsider: The gal is being treated like this, do you feel she deserve such guy? And now is still the courtship stage, things might be worsen when you two get married, he might not only use his mouth, he might use violence on you.
He is sort of a proud guy, not surprising that he might ignore you for a longer period as time goes by, especially he have someone else in mind, which he 'feels' that she might be 'better' than you...
Not mean to scare you, but cannot rule out these possibilities -
Are you invited to his karaoke sessions with his females colleague ?
Does he pays for the expenses during those sessions since he is the only guy ?
Perhaps it is true what some forumers here has mentioned.
He may feel that you are not up to his standards.
And is trying to mold you into someone he wants.
If one day, after trying in vain to change you into someone more intelligent, more polite, more well mannered.
He meet another girl who IS intelligent and smart and everything he wanted in his woman. Will he dump you ???
Bottom line, if he thinks you are already good enough for him, he wouldn't need to try to change you , right ?? -
Threadstarter
I think you read curiousOrange's post. His post makes the most sense without any subjective opinions.
doko -
You know ...
It's clearly evident that TS is straying ... let's put things into perspective:
You've been with this guy ("A") for 5 years ... you're working now, and you don't see him as often ... instead, you spend more time with this other guy ("B") by virtue of work
Ooh, B's nice, what a breath of fresh air ... you're excited, you feel like a giggling girl again because everyone likes to be part of the chase.
You fail to see that your feelings are brought about only by the sheer convenience your work brings.
You start convincing yourself .. mmm .. look at B, he's always so nice .. A .. I've been with A for 5 years and yet he doesn't treat me as well ...
Again, you fail to see that B's interest in you is the only reason he is nice; who is to say that he will remain that way after he's gotten through your pants? Heaps of my guy friends (who mind you are very eligible bachelors) seem to have this f**k and run policy. It's all about the chase.
A on the other hand, sure he's not as nice now ... but don't you ever recall how A used to treat you? The way he made you feel precious and wanted ... the reason why you got together with A in the first place? Afterall A has been pretty stable hasn't he ... sticking with you ... a gf with wandering eyes/heart.
I mean it sounds like, and I agree with alot of the other forumers here that A sounds like a real MCP ... but are you telling me that during this 5 years, he has never ever shown you concern? Bullshit I say. If that is the case, you would have left him ages ago. Every guy has his pride ... come on, in this generation, there are guys who are like girls, and girls who are like guys ... at least yours is clearly by his sheer outward display of hormones, STRAIGHT.
Your relationship with A needs invigoration, not disposal; and A could probably use some therapy imo.
Quite frankly, on one hand, I'd really like to see you lose A over a potential b*st*rd like B (come on, the fact he's hitting on you knowing you got A just shows the kind of man he is). However, on the other, I can't help but see that you're so sentimentally attached to A - there's still hope for you.
Feelings don't linger without a reason; and whatever reason it is behind them, is reason enough for me to tell you to work things out with A.
Writing him a note is the best way to do it, because guys ... oh boy ... especially guys with too much pride ... words never come out right, but inside they hurt when they say it ... Having your bf reply you in kind, means that what he writes, he thinks, and he's not just saying it without processing it.
Good luck. -
perhaps u should tell him how u feel, and give both of u 1 more chance..
i dont knw.. coz my gf also just break with me... 4 years..... haix..
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A fair post.Originally posted by rmyfrm:You know ...
It's clearly evident that TS is straying ... let's put things into perspective:
You've been with this guy ("A") for 5 years ... you're working now, and you don't see him as often ... instead, you spend more time with this other guy ("B") by virtue of work
Ooh, B's nice, what a breath of fresh air ... you're excited, you feel like a giggling girl again because everyone likes to be part of the chase.
You fail to see that your feelings are brought about only by the sheer convenience your work brings.
You start convincing yourself .. mmm .. look at B, he's always so nice .. A .. I've been with A for 5 years and yet he doesn't treat me as well ...
Again, you fail to see that B's interest in you is the only reason he is nice; who is to say that he will remain that way after he's gotten through your pants? Heaps of my guy friends (who mind you are very eligible bachelors) seem to have this f**k and run policy. It's all about the chase.
A on the other hand, sure he's not as nice now ... but don't you ever recall how A used to treat you? The way he made you feel precious and wanted ... the reason why you got together with A in the first place? Afterall A has been pretty stable hasn't he ... sticking with you ... a gf with wandering eyes/heart.
I mean it sounds like, and I agree with alot of the other forumers here that A sounds like a real MCP ... but are you telling me that during this 5 years, he has never ever shown you concern? Bullshit I say. If that is the case, you would have left him ages ago. Every guy has his pride ... come on, in this generation, there are guys who are like girls, and girls who are like guys ... at least yours is clearly by his sheer outward display of hormones, STRAIGHT.
Your relationship with A needs invigoration, not disposal; and A could probably use some therapy imo.
Quite frankly, on one hand, I'd really like to see you lose A over a potential b*st*rd like B (come on, the fact he's hitting on you knowing you got A just shows the kind of man he is). However, on the other, I can't help but see that you're so sentimentally attached to A - there's still hope for you.
Feelings don't linger without a reason; and whatever reason it is behind them, is reason enough for me to tell you to work things out with A.
Writing him a note is the best way to do it, because guys ... oh boy ... especially guys with too much pride ... words never come out right, but inside they hurt when they say it ... Having your bf reply you in kind, means that what he writes, he thinks, and he's not just saying it without processing it.
Good luck.
Everytime I see a post made by a girl complaining, it's always the guy's fault. The guy is MCP bastard blah. And then she has a new target in mind. Many people will agree with her blindly. Talk about being loyal huh.
But if a guy makes a post like this, he will be condemned/flamed whatever. Talk about fairness lol.
Guys, especially the softer one, better be tough.
doko -
Well, i may sound a bit harsh.
But it mean for goodwill. And from wat the TS reply.
Looks like she heading a better healthier direction.
And for the guy Y, personally i dont think he any good chap.
A non-desperate guy will never try to date another gal that is already attached. By just seeing his action, he is waiting an opportunity. tat simple.
To the TS, is happy to hear that you make a good decision.
rejecting the Y approach and making your relationship better.
Relationship is like this... the more longer the more fault we will find if we WANT to find it.
Because human tend to take things for granted. But by staying aware to appreciate ur partner, you find the longer the relationship is, the stronger the bond is. As we choose to love, not love choose us
To Zeny,
I know you mean for test, but sometimes, we shouldn't even try to test.
Human heart is fragile, once the line is broken, the scar forever will be there.
By nature, there will be always chemistry between guy and gal if there is no boundary been set.
TS, I strongly believe with this incident, your relationship will grow stronger, learns to appreciate and communication is the key. I believe your bf will listen to you when you seriously wanted to share
And please don't ever try to test, simplicity of love is happiness
All the best -
You're a disgrace to the name Eric.Originally posted by Eric Cartman:you must be ugly.
YOU must be ugly. -
Look at the way u talk about X and Y. Your boyfriend X, seems to be an imperfect boyfriend, because from what u are saying here, he seems to be a person full of bad points. Yet, ur description of Y is nothing but praise.Originally posted by Vampire X:I know its wrong, but I can't help it. I must be crazy. My boyfriend X is a nice chap, however he often cares alot on his face. Sometimes, due to some occasions which will make him lose face, he will scold me & ignore me for a while, and always point that I am wrong. I did told him about my view but he still think I am wrong. He always find my behaviour wrong & impolite & trying to correct me. An example is when a stranger accidentally knock onto me from behind (which I am unable to notice at all) , my boyfriend X will say I am wrong not to let people walk first. Sometimes I cannot stand the way he treat strangers nicer than me.
Recently, I have a bit of liking on my colleague Y who is a very nice guy. He often sms me to encourage me. I will smile when I see Y sms but I always tell myself I cannot "hiew" Y as I already got a boyfriend. I cannot have a chance to be in the kind of temptation at all. I should be loyal to my bf but frankly speaking my bf often ignores me when he is busy at work. He seems to be able to live without me. But still he is with me for 5 years and I should not be in love with someone else. I am confused. Can anyone help me?
Ask urself this, what make u fall for ur boyfriend X in the first place? Why did u agree to become his girlfriend back then? Is he still the same guy before u entered into a relationship with him? Or do u think he has changed?
Also, ask urself if u like Y because he treats u better than ur bf? If ur bf were 2 be as nice as him, would u still like Y? Do u think its just a case of infauation? That u are merely treating him as a substitute because of ur bf's indifference towards u?
I would advise u to talk to ur bf. Tell him that u feel u are not being appreciated by him, that u wish he can treat u better. Don't tell him about Y because that would make him think that u want 2 leave him. Just ask him where u are in his heart, and whether he still loves u? Or is the relationship now stagnant, and u 2 are just together because of being used to it, and not because u two love each other anymore? In the end, I advise u 2 solve it quickly, because u are not only hurting urself with this problem, but also X and Y. -
aiya, since ur heart already sway, and u are already aware. than just dump ur bf la.
for guys that approach or try to court gurls that already has a bf...
it really depends on individual la.
some ppl feel that chances only come once, life only live once.
so if u nv approach means no chance.
some ppl will think that its wrong, than they will not do it.