Would you go after someone whom you know is attached?
-
this is a gray area like what I have mentioned just now. Some people will just think it is not wrong, no matter how many people are against him or herOriginally posted by xShevchenkox:but certainly l do think that the way u do tis thing is wrong la.
is like u are snatching other guys gf..and l am sure if u succeed, the guy sure hate u for sure..and if the gal could leave with u, she definitely is not a good person. she can do to u one day oso.
and l guess if u ask around, not much ppl will agree with what u say
-
this is abt selfishness. not love.Originally posted by pinkish purple papayas:Yes. I will definately go for her, whether she is attached or not.
In fact i am thats what i am currently doing now.
I don't care whether her relationship 1yr or 10yrs, BF threaten me or not, virgin or not, married or not.
Thats the true meaning of love, not backing out the moment u see that she is attached. This is so superficial. -
Just curious to know.... Why ask in AA...??Originally posted by rainee:Personally I feel very strongly towards this...I usually dont go after someone once I know they are attached. Doesnt matter whether they are married or are in a relationship, I just don't have the heart to be the third party. So it doesn't matter how attractive the guy is, once I know he is taken, I am steering my way clear of him and will just see him as a close friend at most.
What about you? What is the limit you set?
Just curious to know hehe 
QUITE UNLIKELY because I'm a rather lazy person to begin with....
But I can really be quite an affectionate person from time to time... So if someone I'm really quite interested in do show me the same if not quite a very high level of interest, I think there's quite a chance that I might reciprocate... Especially in that person is in an unhappy relationship or if that person's being mistreated....? -
So you're saying you're the best...?Originally posted by hisoka:where got evil, just wanting the best for the girl/guy
-
Err I dunno why I asked in AA leh...maybe cos I think this is a question regarding relationship, and usually if I ask a question regarding relationship, it will be here rather than in some other subforums...Originally posted by Devil1976:Just curious to know.... Why ask in AA...??
QUITE UNLIKELY because I'm a rather lazy person to begin with....
But I can really be quite an affectionate person from time to time... So if someone I'm really quite interested in do show me the same if not quite a very high level of interest, I think there's quite a chance that I might reciprocate... Especially in that person is in an unhappy relationship or if that person's being mistreated....?
For me, I would rather encourage that person to go back to his/her relationship and see what they can salvage, rather than encouraging them to be with me straight away...
-
there was a reality program i watched b4, the temptation island. 4 couples test their committment for each other by staying with a group of gorgeous guys/ gers of their opposite gender...
can't really remember the outcome but i think only 1 couple managed to stay together till the end of the program. i thot it was a rather silly show... why bother to go on the program when there's temptation on everyday's life?
anyway, thou i would not go after someone who is attached, i will not despise someone who is the third party... no doubt that there is such a thing as karma, there are also ppl who are married to the 3rd party... so maybe the orginal bf/gf is not suitable in the first place? -
Sorry but I would have to somehow disagree with this one.... It varies on a case to case basis....Originally posted by NekoRin:Hmm for these people. Their definition of 'love' is centered around they themselves. They want to take/have more than give, it's pretty harmful is one expects to keep taking and not giving. Something which needs to be drilled into their heads = = -
x2Originally posted by Ferret:this is abt selfishness. not love.
For me if I see someone I love, and if that person is having some problems wif his current rs, I would try to advise him to salvage the rs rather than preying on the problems in there and taking advantage of the situation -
I dunno la, but I just despise them. Esp those who go all out to seduce. Just plain cheap and sl*tty in my opinionOriginally posted by coolger03:there was a reality program i watched b4, the temptation island. 4 couples test their committment for each other by staying with a group of gorgeous guys/ gers of their opposite gender...
can't really remember the outcome but i think only 1 couple managed to stay together till the end of the program. i thot it was a rather silly show... why bother to go on the program when there's temptation on everyday's life?
anyway, thou i would not go after someone who is attached, i will not despise someone who is the third party... no doubt that there is such a thing as karma, there are also ppl who are married to the 3rd party... so maybe the orginal bf/gf is not suitable in the first place?
Pardon my strong language, but I have bad experience with this before, and hence it contributes to my strong feeling towards this.
If the original bf/gf is not suitable, all you can do is to wait until they break up and not take advantage of the situation by encouraging the couple to break up or wat. -
Hmm...give example of a case?Originally posted by Devil1976:Sorry but I would have to somehow disagree with this one.... It varies on a case to case basis.... -
Yeah... Like me....Originally posted by rainee:Some don't even feel guilty...
-
my guy fren's ex was also tempted by a 3rd party and the last i heard, they are already married and my fren's ex is already pregnant...Originally posted by rainee:I dunno la, but I just despise them. Esp those who go all out to seduce. Just plain cheap and sl*tty in my opinion Pardon my strong language, but I have bad experience with this before, and hence it contributes to my strong feeling towards this.
If the original bf/gf is not suitable, all you can do is to wait until they break up and not take advantage of the situation by encouraging the couple to break up or wat.
From what i understand, it seems that my fren was busy with his work and hence, did not spend enough time with his ex... it was quite a pity as they had been togehter for like 4 to 5 years...
i agree that the 3rd party should not encourage the ger to break up with her bf... but how many ppl would be able to think rationally if he/ she had really fallen in love with the other person? -
Not many people would agree because there're some politically correct answers... But when things really happen to them, I bet there'll be many who might not even follow what they say....Originally posted by xShevchenkox:but certainly l do think that the way u do tis thing is wrong la.
is like u are snatching other guys gf..and l am sure if u succeed, the guy sure hate u for sure..and if the gal could leave with u, she definitely is not a good person. she can do to u one day oso.
and l guess if u ask around, not much ppl will agree with what u say -
Originally posted by coolger03:my guy fren's ex was also tempted by a 3rd party and the last i heard, they are already married and my fren's ex is already pregnant...
From what i understand, it seems that my fren was busy with his work and hence, did not spend enough time with his ex... it was quite a pity as they had been togehter for like 4 to 5 years...
i agree that the 3rd party should not encourage the ger to break up with her bf... but how many ppl would be able to think rationally if he/ she had really fallen in love with the other person?
Many just give up too easily. When there are some tough times in the rs and someone else there to offer shelther, they run there. Have they even talked to each other about the consequence before they broke up? (I am assuming they did) -
You mean someone's in a relationship... Interested in you... Come after you when you've not express interest in him....?Originally posted by rainee:Err I dunno why I asked in AA leh...maybe cos I think this is a question regarding relationship, and usually if I ask a question regarding relationship, it will be here rather than in some other subforums...
For me, I would rather encourage that person to go back to his/her relationship and see what they can salvage, rather than encouraging them to be with me straight away...
Maybe this is just a form of escape of sort...? Finding a pillar to rely on...? Or maybe the person' just utterly confused...
-
I myself am deeply against going after someone who is already attached, or worst, even married. However, why don't we look at another side of view? If the couple are really in love with each other, no matter how attractive or tempting others are, it shouldn't really bother the two, right? When the guy/gal allows him/herself to succumb to temptation, it just shows that perhaps, the love ain't really strong in the first place?Originally posted by rainee:I have heard of people rationalizing their action when they become the third party.
They said as long as the rs is a happy one, a third party will not change anything. So nothing wrong with rocking the boat if it is a stable one. Some only backs off if there is a marriage in place.
I despise such people. If it is a girl, there is only one name for her.
Once again, I am not saying that going and snatch someone's bf/gf away is ok, or the right thing to do. But sometimes, seeing things from another point will make us understand better why certain things turn out the way they did. -
It's just a show....?Originally posted by coolger03:there was a reality program i watched b4, the temptation island. 4 couples test their committment for each other by staying with a group of gorgeous guys/ gers of their opposite gender...
can't really remember the outcome but i think only 1 couple managed to stay together till the end of the program. i thot it was a rather silly show... why bother to go on the program when there's temptation on everyday's life? -
Debatable.... Sometimes you might just be the solutionOriginally posted by rainee:x2
For me if I see someone I love, and if that person is having some problems wif his current rs, I would try to advise him to salvage the rs rather than preying on the problems in there and taking advantage of the situation -
i'm not sure if they did... my fren was so demoralised that time...Originally posted by rainee:
Many just give up too easily. When there are some tough times in the rs and someone else there to offer shelther, they run there. Have they even talked to each other about the consequence before they broke up? (I am assuming they did)
the ger told him that someone else was chasing her, most prob hoping that he will do something abt it but that silly gooes didn't do anything to prevent it... we keep telling him to chase her back but he just gave up... -
That is an example...Originally posted by Devil1976:You mean someone's in a relationship... Interested in you... Come after you when you've not express interest in him....?
Maybe this is just a form of escape of sort...? Finding a pillar to rely on...? Or maybe the person' just utterly confused...
Maybe...but I wouldn't think much of such a person if it is happening to me. Rather than talking things out with the other party about the problems happening in the rs, this person takes an easy way out by trying to escape to another person...I wouldn't dare to think what will happen if I get together with this person... -
maybe and maybe not...Originally posted by Devil1976:Debatable.... Sometimes you might just be the solution
i rarely will accept someone who breaks up and jump so fast into another rs... -
yea dats indeed dumb...I guess the girl never matters that much to him?Originally posted by coolger03:i'm not sure if they did... my fren was so demoralised that time...
the ger told him that someone else was chasing her, most prob hoping that he will do something abt it but that silly gooes didn't do anything to prevent it... we keep telling him to chase her back but he just gave up... -
When a person who knows another who is suffering in his / her relationship... Knowing that the one he / she love is being tormented and maybe even abused by the 'official' one.... The person actually set off and help the one he / she love set free from the lock... The person actually might not even be getting anything much if any at all from stepping in.... Yet helped nonetheless... At high costs... Being called names... I've even personally seen people who devoted themselves so much that in the end they're only being used by the ones 'suffering'.... (of course, I'm not saying there're not genuine ones who are really suffering..) 'Idiots' who couldn't even wake up to face themselves or the reality after they've been used....Originally posted by rainee:Hmm...give example of a case?
So though I can agree that SOME people just tends to be seduced more easily or break from a relationship more readily... And it MIGHT just be a 'karma' that one who get himself / herself involved with such a type of person might just have to face the consequences one day.... It's rather unfair to say a straight down statement that such people start off with only intention to TAKE and not GIVE.... And this is just a type of EXAMPLE I'm giving... I certainly don't wish to be going on and write a book out of it....
On another note... If one is 'sway' enough... Even if one court a single person also no guarantee that the person would be a good and faithful one... Least to say even if you wait till they officially break then enter a relationship... If a person has a tendency to stray from relationships... Would just simply because you've entered a relationship with that person AFTER the official break up make that person any better by chance....? I would certainly doubt so...
I personally also think it's too early to jump to conclusion that if a person jumps into a relationship while he / she is attached then it would mean that he / she would have a natural tendency to do so.... And should be labelled as 'bad' or whatever...? It might be that the person genuinely IS in a VERY LOUSY relationship and needs a pillar of suppotr before he / she breaks down....? -
True to an extent... But you'll also have to consider the extent to which the relationship might have broken down and in some cases... The level of stress and pain it might be causing...Originally posted by rainee:That is an example...
Maybe...but I wouldn't think much of such a person if it is happening to me. Rather than talking things out with the other party about the problems happening in the rs, this person takes an easy way out by trying to escape to another person...I wouldn't dare to think what will happen if I get together with this person... -
yea, so I will let that person make his own decision...will not try to influence him in any way just bcos I wan to be with him...Originally posted by Devil1976:True to an extent... But you'll also have to consider the extent to which the relationship might have broken down and in some cases... The level of stress and pain it might be causing...