My mother just do not trust me at all
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Sons/daughters will not be rude if their parents respect them in the first place...=/Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:[quote]Originally posted by AMEN567889:
[b]
She said I dont respect her as my mother...
talking back to her...raising my voice sometimes at her ( rarely =/) not heeding her advices..
I sometimes feel my son does not respect me. He is mostly rude and say hurting words. Likes to do his own thing and not heed advice, almost any adults, not just mine.
He is only 12 and undergoing puberty.
who dun like do thier own things?? =/ including u right?
just dun do it incessantly can liaos..
hurting words..hmm..thats a bit overbroad...=/
maybe u shld confide to ur husband? see what u both can do lor...
normally..sons are more scared'' of thier fathers haha...
i dun know...its juz an advice...=/
to be a good parent is tough..but to be a goot son/daughter is even more difficult..haiz...
both parties shld take a step back some time...
tui yi bu...hai kuo tian kong...
but.
its easier said than done la...
like my case....i already give in to her most of the time liao..yet she still doesnt trust me.. -
Didn't u ask yr mom?Originally posted by ispyyy:lol.. I use the word "nag" is actually to give a better impression on mothers...
I remember many years ago...
My mother badmouth me to my gf on the phone. Telling my gf that I have no future, gambler and always so late come back home... My gf told me after that. My gf also noes that what my mother say is not true coz it is not the truth. haha... until now... I still wonder y my mother do that. Probably, from my mother's point of view, she see that his son is really what as she say. Therefore, she wants to reduce his son's sins ... But I never feel displeasure towards my mother. Coz, I noe my mother cares for her son.
The above case is much better than outside world. Haha... few care for u if u are against them. Therefore, u either have two ways. Follow them or Out smart them.
I wish my son thinks like you. and you don't even know why. But sometimes blind love is dangerous, even son's love for mother. -
woah..u can tolerate ar...Originally posted by ispyyy:lol.. I use the word "nag" is actually to give a better impression on mothers...
I remember many years ago...
My mother badmouth me to my gf on the phone. Telling my gf that I have no future, gambler and always so late come back home... My gf told me after that. My gf also noes that what my mother say is not true coz it is not the truth. haha... until now... I still wonder y my mother do that. Probably, from my mother's point of view, she see that his son is really what as she say. Therefore, she wants to reduce his son's sins ... But I never feel displeasure towards my mother. Coz, I noe my mother cares for her son.
The above case is much better than outside world. Haha... few care for u if u are against them. Therefore, u either have two ways. Follow them or Out smart them.
for me..i surely flare up like theres no tomolo..and i mean it =/
maybe at that pt of time..she wants u concentrat on ur studies ba..
then badmouth u in front of ur gf..
make her break up with u..
we all know our mothers care for us...
but most of the time...in the wrong way...
and it pisses us off..=/ -
The world looks better when you close one eye.
Similarly, the world sounds better when you close one ear.
Just one-ear-in-and-the-other-ear-out can liao.
Sometimes they nag take it as background noise.
Let the storm blow over can liao. -
Please ask yourself this question.
Is there anything in you that can be trusted by your mum? Or in the first place, do you even actually respect her as a mum. A parents job is not as simple as you think. Since the day you were born, have you done anything that could gain her trust and visa versa. Please consider it, There are good people with noble intentions in this world, but remember there are jerks around too. Not insulting or saying anything bad about you or your mum, Just a friendly general statement. -
I just asked him after reading your earlier post. whether if he feels I scold him. He said yes. I asked for an example. He told me not to ask him this question at this time of the night and left the room. (tt's not rude by my standard, when he is rude, he is horrid, just like.. who? tommy tucker?? Goldilocks??)Originally posted by AMEN567889:Sons/daughters will not be rude if their parents respect them in the first place...=/
who dun like do thier own things?? =/ including u right?
just dun do it incessantly can liaos..
hurting words..hmm..thats a bit overbroad...=/
maybe u shld confide to ur husband? see what u both can do lor...
normally..sons are more scared'' of thier fathers haha...
i dun know...its juz an advice...=/
to be a good parent is tough..but to be a goot son/daughter is even more difficult..haiz...
both parties shld take a step back some time...
tui yi bu...hai kuo tian kong...
but.
its easier said than done la...
like my case....i already give in to her most of the time liao..yet she still doesnt trust me..
I am afraid he is not at least scared of his father. My husband feels the same way as me. Tt's why my son thinks we are ganging up against him. -
haha..i dun smoke..i dun gamble..i dun stay out overnight evey now and then...Originally posted by akinos:Please ask yourself this question.
Is there anything in you that can be trusted by your mum? Or in the first place, do you even actually respect her as a mum. A parents job is not as simple as you think. Since the day you were born, have you done anything that could gain her trust and visa versa. Please consider it, There are good people with noble intentions in this world, but remember there are jerks around too. Not insulting or saying anything bad about you or your mum, Just a friendly general statement.
i dun get into fights..i dun take drugs u name it all...my results are ok..going to uni soon..i also dun rmb i betrayed her trust in me b4..
nothing in me that my mom can trust? lol?
i respect her as my mom..
but she does not...
she dun trust me
nuff said. -
haha.. I told my father b4 and think my father tell my mother... coz, after that, my mother told my gf next time got things dont tell u liao... lolOriginally posted by Xiaozzhen:Didn't u ask yr mom?
I wish my son thinks like you. and you don't even know why. But sometimes blind love is dangerous, even son's love for mother.
haha... if yr son thinks like me, haha... that makes u really old liao... haha... enjoy a 12 yr old son thinking lah... -
Why not sit down and talk to her? I know it is easier said than done. But it is worth the while, parents will somehow understand that their child has grown up. Not every parent is really to let their child go, take it as being too strict with you. But at the end of the day, "It is for your own good"Originally posted by AMEN567889:haha..i dun smoke..i dun gamble..i dun stay out overnight evey now and then...
i dun get into fights..i dun take drugs u name it all...my results are ok..going to uni soon..i also dun rmb i betrayed her trust in me b4..
nothing in me that my mom can trust? lol?
i respect her as my mom..
but she does not...
she dun trust me
nuff said.
About the part that u are going Uni soon, pls don't be complacent. =D Sh*t happens in life. -
I keep wishing that nice young boy will return OR these two years will pass quickly.Originally posted by ispyyy:haha.. I told my father b4 and think my father tell my mother... coz, after that, my mother told my gf next time got things dont tell u liao... lol
haha... if yr son thinks like me, haha... that makes u really old liao... haha... enjoy a 12 yr old son thinking lah... -
Can tolerate lah...Originally posted by AMEN567889:woah..u can tolerate ar...
for me..i surely flare up like theres no tomolo..and i mean it =/
maybe at that pt of time..she wants u concentrat on ur studies ba..
then badmouth u in front of ur gf..
make her break up with u..
we all know our mothers care for us...
but most of the time...in the wrong way...
and it pisses us off..=/
At that time, I was not even study.
hmmm.... after you really understand yr mother, u will not feel a thing at all.
HaHa... because of my mother, I am always able to control people who are much more senior me... It is not really that bad lah... -
just show her ur results lor....that u have studied.Originally posted by AMEN567889:Spent the whole of today and yesterday revising for the mid years in the library..
8 hours a day..amounting to 16 hours of revision
but when i reach home..
what did i get?
got a scolding from her of not spending my time wisely as home to revise
wth is this man...
i explain to her le that i was out at the library...
but she just refuses to believe me
dam pissed off -
Please read this.Originally posted by AMEN567889:i mean..shes my mother leh....
even my friends ( outsiders ) place more faith in me than her...=/
wth...
what eva it is...anything la ...i dun give a shyt anymore..
shall continue going to the library every SINGLE day during the holidays to prepare for my midyears..=/
at least i know i did not betray my own conscience...
if she scolds me..i juz bo chap her liaos...
It's a bit long, so I wouldn't quote it here. -
thx for ur advices ppl..i understand liao..i know wad to do le..
'REN' ------------ tolerance towards ppl is the key to harmony
thx guys ^.^ -
Originally posted by binarynwitz: that was nice..
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Actually, a teenager's thinking are really creative. If u can able to think the same track as yr son's thinking, probably, u will say how come I never thought of tat b4. ><Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:I keep wishing that nice young boy will return OR these two years will pass quickly. -
hmm...a bit rude i think....quite unecessary =/Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:I just asked him after reading your earlier post. whether if he feels I scold him. He said yes. I asked for an example. He told me not to ask him this question at this time of the night and left the room. (tt's not rude by my standard, when he is rude, he is horrid, just like.. who? tommy tucker?? Goldilocks??)
I am afraid he is not at least scared of his father. My husband feels the same way as me. Tt's why my son thinks we are ganging up against him.
but i guess hes still angry with u ba...
i suggest u both cool down first...
then maybe u bring him out tomolo ''gai gai'' make him happy..then ask again lor...
things are as bad as it seems...i m sure he still loves u...
dun worrie.. -
Thanks... I feel i brought my prob into yours... sorry... but you sounded a little like my son, intelligent but troubled, and i sound a little like your mother.. hmm, just a little bit.Originally posted by AMEN567889:hmm...a bit rude i think....quite unecessary =/
but i guess hes still angry with u ba...
i suggest u both cool down first...
then maybe u bring him out tomolo ''gai gai'' make him happy..then ask again lor...
things are as bad as it seems...i m sure he still loves u... dun worrie..
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when ur a parent, then u will understand......haha.
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Trust is to be earned, not given as of right.
Sometimes, it is not important to just do something but to let others see that you are doing it as well.......
If you claim you've been doing your studies very conscientiously at the library, you must be able to back up your claim with the results you produce. Otherwise, who knows what you do at the library..... Meditating?
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Wah..Originally posted by AMEN567889:She said I dont respect her as my mother...
talking back to her...raising my voice sometimes at her ( rarely =/) not heeding her advices...say i m a pai kia...etc
i mean wtf la... say i pia kia?
wad those those ginas who get into a fight every day? or worse drug addiction...
i m sure they are worse than me...=/
my discipline and academic records are fine..completed my o's last year and now in jc 1...how pai can i be?
i bet she haven seen those who steal money from their parents and beat the shyt out of them...wth...
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Sometimes, mothers nag because they are concerned, but once we, as children starts talking back, its different already.
After we starts talking back, it becomes quarrel, so never talk back. Just tell her nicely, if she cannot get it in, forget it. Your mum loves u thats why she spend her time nagging, right? -
lol... i'm also only son and experienced this when i was younger... this yr uni 1...
juz bear with it la... one ear in one ear out then say yes mummy and smile... lol... she'll leave u alone de...
or y dun u juz stay hm to study lor...
then she wun nag.... i noe hm got distractions lk comp and bed... but juz try lor...
or u can tell her nicely why u wanna go lib instead of staying at hm -
I have 3 kids myself. All in Sec school.
As a parent, we do want to trust our kids as much as possible. but at the other hand, we also worry that kids will mix up with bad company... I think most of the parent have the same mentality, only difference is how they express to their kid.
Try to talk to your parent more when free, let your parnet know more about your school, your friends. Let your parent know where are you going before hand. Parent will feel more relax when they know what is going on, and you will have more freedom.. -
your mother is just scared that you turn bad lah. sometimes the problem isnt with u. perhaps when she was young she saw alot of guys turn bad then it somewhat got imprinted in her mind and she decided to not go wrong on her son. she's simply erring on the side of caution. but really TS, look at yourself and compare yourself to the rest of the people your age. you must agree that no matter how unreasonable your mother may seem, she doesnt appear to screw up with u, at least in the character and academic aspect. you're clean, and have some success academically already.
and before u complain about ur mother, just think that there are worse cases out there. cite u an example. 2 weeks ago i organised a bbq with my frens at ECP. then 1 of my friend's ( 16 year old male ) mother didnt want him to go. then they got into an arguement, eventually his mother actually called me up a few times and asked me to tell him the outing was cancelled. and you know what were the reasons she gave for not letting him go?
1. o levels around the corner ( hello.. june - october? )
2. too near the sea, very dangerous ( i have nothing to say about this )
3. at night, also dangerous ( hello.. ends at 9.30pm )
maybe i could understand if my friend was a girl, but what the heck. there were girls at the bbq too and none of their parents created such a big ruckus.
so TS, appreciate everything you have, treat your mother's nagging as concern. it seems like its the only way she knows how to show her love for you. and be grateful that she isnt the worst out there