Cancelled ROM
-
One thing I realise.
If a person dun love you in a consistent/predictable way, most likely he/she dun actually love you.
Why go all the way up to ROM before calling it off?
I would think she feels she does not actually loves you, it's to see how far she can go and see if somehow she may just change her mind and can cultivate that feeling for you.
Taking the reference from the 'picking posion flower on the mountain cliff' story posted by Rustyhong on page 2 of this thread, the only difference is she wont/cant be moved.
Might seen to be selfish on her part. But that's life. There's no right or wrong, just decisions. -
U sure u gal?Originally posted by angel7030:Wha Uncle! big problem hor, ok as a gal I can give you a few scenarios as to why she decided to call it off.
1. She still love her first love, because first impression last
2. She found that your sex performance is not up to her marks
3. She found a guy that she think is much better and more handsome than you, so it time to jump ship.
4. Her parents may think that your dowry is not enough.
5. She found out your bad habits and unheathy lifestyle, so she rejected you.
6. She maybe a lesbian
7. Her long lover may have return from overseas and for you, game over liao.
8. She may be diagnosed as unable to conceive baby, so it may hurt you if later you found out.
9. Tho you seem caring, she may think you r not sexy, macho and jovious enough.
10. Your body or mouth suck. -
Oh fark ....
I feel for you bro ....
-
except for your analogy on poison flower which i dunno wat you referring to, i will say i agree with youOriginally posted by Magnus:One thing I realise.
If a person dun love you in a consistent/predictable way, most likely he/she dun actually love you.
Why go all the way up to ROM before calling it off?
I would think she feels she does not actually loves you, it's to see how far she can go and see if somehow she may just change her mind and can cultivate that feeling for you.
Taking the reference from the 'picking posion flower on the mountain cliff' story posted by Rustyhong on page 2 of this thread, the only difference is she wont/cant be moved.
Might seen to be selfish on her part. But that's life. There's no right or wrong, just decisions. -
Originally posted by bo liao:
isnt it nice to be men? out of love still got people volunteer to cheer you up, somemore free chauffeur up to doorstep! Most imporstantly, no need to get worried about being taken advantage of
Sometime ppl say early break is better then late divorce is true...
You are already lucky, not lik my friend, got house/2 kids,his wife left him for another guy.Now his stuck wid house/1 baby girl,1 pri 3 boy...His stress is of more then you & have to handle between kids/finicial etc.
Cheer up man, you are not the worst.Enjoy Life ok? Need friend go chiong/drink can PM me, i fetch you & sent you right to your doorstep.
EDITED:Mayb we can discuss some venture as well & earn lots of $$ then got many females auto come,there are still some that are willing, if u dun mind temp/ons changing/use some "less used/fresher stuff due to age",lol([b]Hope no offence to anyone, i'm quite blunt in talking,lousy in expressing)..mayb i think too much, trying to lighten things up.[/b]
-
ya, kind of find her response wierd. maybe just some very young gal or boyOriginally posted by CannyOng:U sure u gal? -
Its cos i last time aslo kanna same type of shit,then got ppl lend a helping hand out of the blue(it was also internet friend).. end up till today we often go out together.Which is why i beleve is can help, help lor.. go out relax together , more people more merryier.Originally posted by blu_sky:isnt it nice to be men? out of love still got people volunteer to cheer you up, somemore free chauffeur up to doorstep! Most imporstantly, no need to get worried about being taken advantage of
The group consis of age 23-38 there, all are friends tat fall hard from love b4.. bt 1 thing bad is will slowely end up very cold heart.as most of us happens to acknowledge "its jus getting used to that female" if got spare "hole" to release....
things will not be as bad as it is.of cos, we are named/cursed by ppl "idiots/bastards" , we do have our fair share of pain b4 bestowed by some females...is more of lifes short,play hard,try see see, if can get marry.virgin hard to find, got hole can liao...even we play girls, we never say girls are "lock/slut" althought there may be some.. as we all think same thing, in a relationship, if a girl willing to open leg, is she trust the guy then give....it takes 2 hands to clap.
(again, no offence to anyone, jus feeling that most guys r lik tat)
EDITED:seriously,i may lik to poke, but thinking back, it seems digusting if some1 to poke me....it reallly take abit of sacrifice fromn the female.i respect some females.for love they gv guys. -
Refer to this posted by Rustyhong:Originally posted by blu_sky:except for your analogy on poison flower which i dunno wat you referring to, i will say i agree with you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being
nature, and I love the warm feeling while lean against his broad shoulder.
Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have
to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has
now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental
woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship
and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning
for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of
sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our
marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell
him my decision, that I want a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocking.
"I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thoughts the whole
night
with cigarette lighted all the times. My feeling of disappointment is
getting intense, a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can
I hope from him? And finally he asked :" What can I do to change your
mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I
guess, I have started losing faith in him. Look deep into his eyes and I
slowly answered : "Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my
heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff,
and we both sure that the making you to pick the flower will cause death,
will you do it for me?"
He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow....";; My heart just sink by
listening to his respond.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his
scratching writing, underneath a glass of warm milk,
It goes....
"Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allowed me ! to
fu rther explain the reasons "
This first line has already break my heart. I continue reading.
"You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the
PC, and cries in front of screen, I have to saved my fingers so that I can
help to restore the programs. You always left the house key behind, I have
to save my legs to rush home for opening the door for you. You love
traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to
leads you the way.
You always has the cramp whenever your "good friend" approach every month,
I
have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy. You like
to
stays indoor, and I worries that you will be infected by infantile autism.
I have to save my mouth to tells you jokes and stories to cure your
boredom.
You always stared at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, I
have
to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your
nails,and help to removed those annoying white hairs. I will hold your
hand,
stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands...
tells you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, before I am sure there are someone who loves you more than I
do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. "
My tears drops on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing...
and I resume my reading...
"And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied
with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing
there,with your favorites bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the
door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and
bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided
to leave the flower alone...
That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the
feeling
of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the ! true love lies in
between
the peace and dullness.
Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never
been
a model, it could be the most incurious form.. . flowers, romantic moments
is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.
Under all these, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life... I
hope everyone enjoy reading it... love, but not words win the arguments...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your partner may ask you to do some near impossible things just to prove your love for him/her. You did it, back on bended knees, he/she still dun feel touched nor satisfied. Why?
Cos your partner dun love you. No feeling. Just want to test you that's all. to see how much you can go the extra mile.
Sometimes life's full of this little tests. -
felt damn sad after reading this thread. it's a cruel world, isn't it?
well, this is not the first time i've heard such stories.. and coming out from a long term r/s of 6 yrs (broke up last yr), i felt that i could understand where your ex was coming from, and also how you felt.
i was in a r/s where i dun really see a future. it's not because of my ex's character.. he is a nice guy, with stable job and income, respects me and dotes on me alot. but just somehow, u felt that he just isn't the one. it's true. i've tried really v hard, and it was till an extent that i hated myself badly. i felt v v guilty.. and that, i couldnt press on and hang on to the r/s anymore and decided to give it up. it also came as a sudden blow to him, since he didnt see it coming at all.. our r/s was too smooth sailing. for the past 4 yrs, we had no quarrels at all. whenever he mentioned about marriage, i will get cold feet. he's a nice guy, but somehow.. i just couldnt picture myself with him..
if he proposed to me at that time (hopefully he didnt!), i am really unsure what i would do.. would i accept, or reject? or called it off like wat ur ex did? but i figured that love is really a funny thing.. other that being comfortable with each other, u really need to have the "factor", whereby you feel that no matter what, u're just attracted to him. u need such factors in a r/s, to keep the r/s going.. the factor is definitely lacking b/w u and her, and that is why she is unable to pin point to you what exactly is wrong with your r/s.. and i believe that she does not have another "him" in her life..
few mths after my breakup, my ex picked himself up and found a gf.. i was v v happy for him. at least i didnt ruin his life, as i thot i might.. and i've found the love of my life too. when i was wif my ex, i nv believe in marriages.. i find it, nothing but a piece of paper.. insignificant and unnecessary. but now, my bf just give me a total different feeling. he made me feel so happy and loved at all times, and i just yearn to spend all my life wif him.. and we're looking forward to our marriage, and planning for it..
love is never a bed of roses.. i suggest that you give her up, and dun rush into things.. when u least expect it, ur Ms Right will pop up right before you
all the best! -
You want to try??.Originally posted by CannyOng:U sure u gal? -
Hi Joanne,Originally posted by joanne:felt damn sad after reading this thread. it's a cruel world, isn't it?
well, this is not the first time i've heard such stories.. and coming out from a long term r/s of 6 yrs (broke up last yr), i felt that i could understand where your ex was coming from, and also how you felt.
i was in a r/s where i dun really see a future. it's not because of my ex's character.. he is a nice guy, with stable job and income, respects me and dotes on me alot. but just somehow, u felt that he just isn't the one. it's true. i've tried really v hard, and it was till an extent that i hated myself badly. i felt v v guilty.. and that, i couldnt press on and hang on to the r/s anymore and decided to give it up. it also came as a sudden blow to him, since he didnt see it coming at all.. our r/s was too smooth sailing. for the past 4 yrs, we had no quarrels at all. whenever he mentioned about marriage, i will get cold feet. he's a nice guy, but somehow.. i just couldnt picture myself with him..
if he proposed to me at that time (hopefully he didnt!), i am really unsure what i would do.. would i accept, or reject? or called it off like wat ur ex did? but i figured that love is really a funny thing.. other that being comfortable with each other, u really need to have the "factor", whereby you feel that no matter what, u're just attracted to him. u need such factors in a r/s, to keep the r/s going.. the factor is definitely lacking b/w u and her, and that is why she is unable to pin point to you what exactly is wrong with your r/s.. and i believe that she does not have another "him" in her life..
few mths after my breakup, my ex picked himself up and found a gf.. i was v v happy for him. at least i didnt ruin his life, as i thot i might.. and i've found the love of my life too. when i was wif my ex, i nv believe in marriages.. i find it, nothing but a piece of paper.. insignificant and unnecessary. but now, my bf just give me a total different feeling. he made me feel so happy and loved at all times, and i just yearn to spend all my life wif him.. and we're looking forward to our marriage, and planning for it..
love is never a bed of roses.. i suggest that you give her up, and dun rush into things.. when u least expect it, ur Ms Right will pop up right before you
all the best!
I dont understand what is this 'factor'..
All the while it's been 'smooth sailing', isn't all the basics covered during the initial phases of the relationship?
There must be some catalyst to trigger this change.
Can help me to understand? Cos I've been in a similar situation before and it's been plaguing me ever since.. -
hmmm, nice insight into a r/s. highlighted portion is scary......Originally posted by joanne:felt damn sad after reading this thread. it's a cruel world, isn't it?
well, this is not the first time i've heard such stories.. and coming out from a long term r/s of 6 yrs (broke up last yr), i felt that i could understand where your ex was coming from, and also how you felt.
i was in a r/s where i dun really see a future. it's not because of my ex's character.. he is a nice guy, with stable job and income, respects me and dotes on me alot. but just somehow, u felt that he just isn't the one. it's true. i've tried really v hard, and it was till an extent that i hated myself badly. i felt v v guilty.. and that, i couldnt press on and hang on to the r/s anymore and decided to give it up. it also came as a sudden blow to him, since he didnt see it coming at all.. our r/s was too smooth sailing. for the past 4 yrs, we had no quarrels at all. whenever he mentioned about marriage, i will get cold feet. he's a nice guy, but somehow.. i just couldnt picture myself with him..
if he proposed to me at that time (hopefully he didnt!), i am really unsure what i would do.. would i accept, or reject? or called it off like wat ur ex did? but i figured that love is really a funny thing.. other that being comfortable with each other, u really need to have the "factor", whereby you feel that no matter what, u're just attracted to him. u need such factors in a r/s, to keep the r/s going.. the factor is definitely lacking b/w u and her, and that is why she is unable to pin point to you what exactly is wrong with your r/s.. and i believe that she does not have another "him" in her life..
few mths after my breakup, my ex picked himself up and found a gf.. i was v v happy for him. at least i didnt ruin his life, as i thot i might.. and i've found the love of my life too. when i was wif my ex, i nv believe in marriages.. i find it, nothing but a piece of paper.. insignificant and unnecessary. but now, my bf just give me a total different feeling. he made me feel so happy and loved at all times, and i just yearn to spend all my life wif him.. and we're looking forward to our marriage, and planning for it..
love is never a bed of roses.. i suggest that you give her up, and dun rush into things.. when u least expect it, ur Ms Right will pop up right before you
all the best!
-
Originally posted by Magnus:Hi Joanne,
I dont understand what is this 'factor'..
All the while it's been 'smooth sailing', isn't all the basics covered during the initial phases of the relationship?
There must be some catalyst to trigger this change.
Can help me to understand? Cos I've been in a similar situation before and it's been plaguing me ever since..
I agree with de_middle, sometimes being too smooth-sailing is not a good thing too..Originally posted by de_middle:hmmm, nice insight into a r/s. highlighted portion is scary......
I hav exactly the same feeling as Joanne. No matter how good the bf is, I juz can't visualize myself gettin married to him. Juz the thot of stayin married to him freaks me out...I had to let him go. I thot it was me who nvr has the intention to marry, but then recently I met someone else, he makes me wanna settle down wif him despite all factors against us.
Haha..alas..it wll nvr happened. -
I experiance this so call scary r/s b4, and later I started studing Chinese Astrology. And all the answer is in yr birth date, so dun feel sad for yr ex instead they r being honest to u.
-
hi Magnus,Originally posted by Magnus:Hi Joanne,
I dont understand what is this 'factor'..
All the while it's been 'smooth sailing', isn't all the basics covered during the initial phases of the relationship?
There must be some catalyst to trigger this change.
Can help me to understand? Cos I've been in a similar situation before and it's been plaguing me ever since..
if you ask me, i won't be able to explain what exactly is this 'factor'. it is just like the 'chemistry' you have when u meet someone that you fall in love with, and it's like when you say someone has the 'X-factor'. it cant be described, but yet it exist. it's a feeling that can't be seen, but can be felt.
i agree that too smooth-sailing is also not healthy for a r/s. sometimes, agruments and quarrels bring 2 person closer than before, and u get to understand each other better too. my previous r/s was too stagnant, no progress after so many years.. that somehow, the feelings and love died. and i was just holding on to it because i was afraid that i might regret if i let go.. but glad to say, i've never regretted my decision because I am a much happier person after the split, and found the person whom i really wish to spend the rest of my life with -
I like the story...Originally posted by Magnus:Refer to this posted by Rustyhong:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being
nature, and I love the warm feeling while lean against his broad shoulder.
.
.
.
Under all these, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life... I
hope everyone enjoy reading it... love, but not words win the arguments...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your partner may ask you to do some near impossible things just to prove your love for him/her. You did it, back on bended knees, he/she still dun feel touched nor satisfied. Why?
Cos your partner dun love you. No feeling. Just want to test you that's all. to see how much you can go the extra mile.
Sometimes life's full of this little tests. -
guess every r/s needs the spice.....never think that quarrels & arguments means that r/s is rocky.Originally posted by RedizAlertz:I agree with de_middle, sometimes being too smooth-sailing is not a good thing too..
I hav exactly the same feeling as Joanne. No matter how good the bf is, I juz can't visualize myself gettin married to him. Juz the thot of stayin married to him freaks me out...I had to let him go. I thot it was me who nvr has the intention to marry, but then recently I met someone else, he makes me wanna settle down wif him despite all factors against us.
Haha..alas..it wll nvr happened.
I wish all those in a r/s best of luck & keep that spice alive
-
Lets see from the 2 guysOriginally posted by joanne:hi Magnus,
if you ask me, i won't be able to explain what exactly is this 'factor'. it is just like the 'chemistry' you have when u meet someone that you fall in love with, and it's like when you say someone has the 'X-factor'. it cant be described, but yet it exist. it's a feeling that can't be seen, but can be felt.
i agree that too smooth-sailing is also not healthy for a r/s. sometimes, agruments and quarrels bring 2 person closer than before, and u get to understand each other better too. my previous r/s was too stagnant, no progress after so many years.. that somehow, the feelings and love died. and i was just holding on to it because i was afraid that i might regret if i let go.. but glad to say, i've never regretted my decision because I am a much happier person after the split, and found the person whom i really wish to spend the rest of my life with
1) your ex is a normal looking, goodie guy who did what he was told and have no life of his own?
2) Your new bf knows what he wants and can lead his own life very well? -
Is nice to be woman if you got the looks.Originally posted by blu_sky:isnt it nice to be men? out of love still got people volunteer to cheer you up, somemore free chauffeur up to doorstep! Most imporstantly, no need to get worried about being taken advantage of
Then you can command men to do what you like.
People who volunteer are those who kena from gals before.
Thats why we have to stick together. -
Yes, blessed are the women who are pretty and/or attractive, certainly lotsa advantages. but such women have their fair share of woes too.Originally posted by Guardx:Is nice to be woman if you got the looks.
Then you can command men to do what you like.
People who volunteer are those who kena from gals before.
Thats why we have to stick together.
It is fine to stick together, but just dont be women hater, o'wise you will hate your life more at the end of the day. -
Or rather, the ex is way too obliging? In situations whereby even though you think you are wrong, he still think you're right? In your words, too 'goodie guy.Originally posted by Guardx:Lets see from the 2 guys
1) your ex is a normal looking, goodie guy who did what he was told and have no life of his own?
2) Your new bf knows what he wants and can lead his own life very well?
Sometimes women wants the above response, sometimes don't. Just Maybe. -
Hi joanne,Originally posted by joanne:hi Magnus,
if you ask me, i won't be able to explain what exactly is this 'factor'. it is just like the 'chemistry' you have when u meet someone that you fall in love with, and it's like when you say someone has the 'X-factor'. it cant be described, but yet it exist. it's a feeling that can't be seen, but can be felt.
i agree that too smooth-sailing is also not healthy for a r/s. sometimes, agruments and quarrels bring 2 person closer than before, and u get to understand each other better too. my previous r/s was too stagnant, no progress after so many years.. that somehow, the feelings and love died. and i was just holding on to it because i was afraid that i might regret if i let go.. but glad to say, i've never regretted my decision because I am a much happier person after the split, and found the person whom i really wish to spend the rest of my life with
Understood about the chemistry part. But 4 years is a long time..
BTW, I'm married & have a 8yr old kid. Just that the past simetimes still haunts me. -
everlasting chemistry?Originally posted by joanne:hi Magnus,
if you ask me, i won't be able to explain what exactly is this 'factor'. it is just like the 'chemistry' you have when u meet someone that you fall in love with, and it's like when you say someone has the 'X-factor'. it cant be described, but yet it exist. it's a feeling that can't be seen, but can be felt.
i agree that too smooth-sailing is also not healthy for a r/s. sometimes, agruments and quarrels bring 2 person closer than before, and u get to understand each other better too. my previous r/s was too stagnant, no progress after so many years.. that somehow, the feelings and love died. and i was just holding on to it because i was afraid that i might regret if i let go.. but glad to say, i've never regretted my decision because I am a much happier person after the split, and found the person whom i really wish to spend the rest of my life with
-
u guys got quite a fair bit of your guesses rite.Originally posted by Magnus:Or rather, the ex is way too obliging? In situations whereby even though you think you are wrong, he still think you're right? In your words, too 'goodie guy.
Sometimes women wants the above response, sometimes don't. Just Maybe.
ex is a laid back, indecisive man.. obliging and doesnt make decisions. i was leading the whole r/s and gradually got sick of it. when i highlight to him on his character that could be improved, he just laugh it off and dont take me seriously. yeah, he could be the 'goody' boy in other ppl's eyes.
my current bf is 6 yrs older than me, matured, thinks for the future, plans, is decisive, and provides me with sound advices whenever i need it. he is also more caring and sensitive, and it's all these that add up and made me go gaga over him..
everlasting chemistry? i believe this is, as long as both parties try hard enough! dun let the romance in ur r/s die..
btw magnus, my previous r/s didnt last for 4 yrs. it lasted for 6.. it was the last 4 yrs that were too smooth sailing with no quarrels nothing.. initially still okie..