Can anyone Advise? Thanks alot
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You don't have girl friends ?Originally posted by mikki1980:Bcos of his work.. he also very busy. His off day, he may not accompany me too. I have to get used to shop alone and watch movies alone.
I like the beach, sea, natural...... he dont really like....
of cos, he sometime also follow me la.
Chose your friends carefully, ok ?
Is that Finland guy friend worth the arguments ?
Is that Finland guy friend so fantastic it is worth putting your marriage on the line ?
Is that Finland guy friend going to take care of you if your marriage ended because of him ?
Must that Finland guy friend go with you ? He cannot go himself ?
You are very lucky your husband dotes on you.
Some girls your age already has 2 children already. Yet you still behaving like an immature adult...
Yes you have your own rights, but you are abusing it. -
I feel damn sorry for your poor husband.
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the thing to keep any relationship going is:
communication & mutual respect (very subjective) for this.....so talk it out & understand where is the limit, good luck
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I find TS post hilarious
For someone who claims to be 27, TS really lack on maturity
When you get married, it's no longer 'you' and 'me' but 'US'
Every single decision you make have an impact on the other party
It is basic RESPECT as a married couple to introduce your friends to each other. This way either party feel more secure and at least both knows who they are hanging out with.
It's not that it's because they are YOUR friends, and it is YOUR spare time
It is only basic RESPECT to update your significant other which is your husband
As well, what the heck is a married woman travelling alone with another guy?
Even if you don't do anything it is uncalled for especially without first informing your husband. I'm shocked that you are surprised that he is angry
I think TS is taking her husband for granted and not giving him the respect he deserves. TS is a really selfish person to only think about what she wants and feels without sparing a thought for her husband. Plus, there is the phone, email, msn etc to let him know before hand so really not seeing him to tell him is not an excuse. -
Don't reprimand her lah..Originally posted by jojobeach:You don't have girl friends ?
Chose your friends carefully, ok ?
Is that Finland guy friend worth the arguments ?
Is that Finland guy friend so fantastic it is worth putting your marriage on the line ?
Is that Finland guy friend going to take care of you if your marriage ended because of him ?
Must that Finland guy friend go with you ? He cannot go himself ?
You are very lucky your husband dotes on you.
Some girls your age already has 2 children already. Yet you still behaving like an immature adult...
But seriously, I wonder what would happen if you had kids..?
Just treasure the person who loves you. Then, everything will just balance out for the goodness of everyone. -
i guess it might b bcoz of the age gap...since hes older, he feels more inclined to settle down on buildin up a career n family as he might not haf the energy to do so in the future...for u, coz ur still young, u want to b free n enjoy ur life around...ur a bird tryin to get free...but u haf to understand, hes understanding enuf to let u haf ur own time, the least u culd do is respect his long leash over u n tell him ur plans...no matter what u do, when u do, he is ur husband, n he is worried for u n cares for u...as u haf said, he wuld sometimes follow even if he din reali like it...hes making the effort to accompany u alrdy...its not like he doesn wan to go with u, its that hes busy with his work...hes busy in maintaining the family income...even though u say u wun do anything behind his back, its still more reassuring if u were to tell him ur whole plan before even embarking on the journey...it takes mutual respect for a relationship to wrk...hope this is useful=) n good luck with ur husbandOriginally posted by mikki1980:Bcos of his work.. he also very busy. His off day, he may not accompany me too. I have to get used to shop alone and watch movies alone.
I like the beach, sea, natural...... he dont really like....
of cos, he sometime also follow me la.
BTW, I just travel alone to KL with Finland friend, then we will join a group of friends over there. I will not do "anything" behide my husband's back. -
i think ur husband could be suffering from a lack of sex.
but not the other way. -
I dunnoe whats the best solution for this, nor do i know if you are in the right or wrong.
But i am confused why did you get married? -
divorce lah.. then u'll get to do your OWN thing at your OWN time all the time....
the fact tat u r married means ur own time is NOT really ur own... u have a life partner tat share ur LIFE now... if u can't deal with tat, u shouldn't have marry in the 1st place...
he is NOT wrong to be mad. just put urself in HIS shoes, will u be mad? -
doomed marriage...Originally posted by stellazio:i think ur husband could be suffering from a lack of sex.
but not the other way. -
I have some girl friends, who got divorced because they took their husband for granted, like TS did.Originally posted by Eiizumi:Don't reprimand her lah..
But seriously, I wonder what would happen if you had kids..?
Just treasure the person who loves you. Then, everything will just balance out for the goodness of everyone.
Last times when we go partying, their husband are not present. When I ask them why not ? Their reply was, " Husband around, no fun lah, must behave properly, cannot flirt".
Then when the marriage falls apart, they cry like babies and say " If I'd known this will happen, I'd have cherished him more !"....
I can only shake my head and offer my listening ear.
All is too late, when the cracks starts to appear.
Worst part is, they are so used to doting husbands, it's very hard for them to accept other guys.
I hope Mikki won't end up like those girl friend of mine. -
sounds common nowadays... hope she wakes up after all tis advices...Originally posted by jojobeach:I have some girl friends, who got divorced because they took their husband for granted, like TS did.
Last times when we go partying, their husband are not present. When I ask them why not ? Their reply was, " Husband around, no fun lah, must behave properly, cannot flirt".
Then when the marriage falls apart, they cry like babies and say " If I'd known this will happen, I'd have cherished him more !"....
I can only shake my head and offer my listening ear.
All is too late, when the cracks starts to appear.
Worst part is, they are so used to doting husbands, it's very hard for them to accept other guys.
I hope Mikki won't end up like those girl friend of mine. -
Yah. Its not easy to find someone who loves you. Pls do treasure yr hubby.Originally posted by jojobeach:I have some girl friends, who got divorced because they took their husband for granted, like TS did.
Last times when we go partying, their husband are not present. When I ask them why not ? Their reply was, " Husband around, no fun lah, must behave properly, cannot flirt".
Then when the marriage falls apart, they cry like babies and say " If I'd known this will happen, I'd have cherished him more !"....
I can only shake my head and offer my listening ear.
All is too late, when the cracks starts to appear.
Worst part is, they are so used to doting husbands, it's very hard for them to accept other guys.
I hope Mikki won't end up like those girl friend of mine.
Lucky you're not one who married a f**k up & b@5tard hubby loh.
Imagine both of you in reverse situation. -
she's heading for no man's land and she still dosen't have a clue ............... if anything were to happen to her marriage ......... she has only herself to blame ......... Do not to others what you do not want others to do to you.
Lets hope for the TS sake that she'll wised up ! -
i hope this never happens to me... i'm spoilt rotten by nel alreadyOriginally posted by jojobeach:Worst part is, they are so used to doting husbands, it's very hard for them to accept other guys.
I hope Mikki won't end up like those girl friend of mine.
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When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear...... -
divorce pls.Originally posted by mikki1980:When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear......
then no one will bother u.
the world doesn't revolve around you. if u want ur own world, pls divorce and spare ur husband from further agony.
and yes, i do hope that in time to come you'll regret it, and hopefully learn from ur mistakes. -
Well. You don't know it is okay. We all learn from mistakes by trial and error. (But not fatal mistake pls..)Originally posted by mikki1980:When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear......
But don't do anything, never try to make things better, it is bad.
I refer you all the things you can do to the first post I posted on this topic TS. Please take a look.
Pls loh. Why women like to say men make them feel guilty one? Don't anyhow blame..
If you feel guilty, obviously something is wrong then. Do something about it! Don't blame yr hubby leh. -
He will not let go..... he will say he loves me so much.... I can do what I want but in the end, he still get mad.
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I believe your husband already has accepted you as you are. But do you accept him as he is? A relationship is about give and take. You can't just always be the one to take, you need to learn to give too.Originally posted by mikki1980:When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear......
All he wants of you is to keep him informed (since you don't seem to see each other very much) and to show him some basic respect.
I don't think your hubby has any intention to stop you from going anyway, just as long as he's been told in advance and that you involve him in every discussion before making any decision on your own. -
Why its always about "do what you want" de?Originally posted by mikki1980:He will not let go..... he will say he loves me so much.... I can do what I want but in the end, he still get mad.
Don't assume he will get mad pls. Such assumption on the first hand is so dangerous.
It will make you only do nothing in the end. Cos' you assume, you wouldn't do anything cos' you think there is no difference in the end doing anything or not! -
I will second to that.Originally posted by honeymouse:I believe your husband already has accepted you as you are. But do you accept him as he is? A relationship is about give and take. You can't just always be the one to take, you need to learn to give too.
All he wants of you is to keep him informed (since you don't seem to see each other very much) and to show him some basic respect.
I don't think your hubby has any intention to stop you from going anyway, just as long as he's been told in advance and that you involve him in every discussion before making any decision on your own. -
1. Your husband brought up those points hoping that you will understand how he feelsOriginally posted by mikki1980:When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear......
2. I think he has accepted you for who you are
3. You only feel guilty coz you know deep down you are in the wrong and since you do, just apologise. Apologies don't kill you
4. Spare a thought for his feelings. Just update him what you are doing and let him know your friends
5. This is not even much to ask. You just need to stop being so self-centred -
I want your husband to divorce u and after that have his fun with the other ladies while u wallow in guilt and regret.
I get satisfication seeing justice done.
It's a total pleasure and a enforcement of my belief system -
Elindra is female. And this is female point of view.Originally posted by elindra:5. This is not even much to ask. You just need to stop being so self-centred
Men don't like to say this out one.
Why? Becos' he really understand you need to be alone. But hate to say this point out becos' it'll hurt you a lot. And dun make him till he need to say this out.
Cos' it'll hurt him more than he hurt you. Because you're part of him.