Can anyone Advise? Thanks alot
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that is really stupid advice... give up the marriage? A little compromise on her part will go very far.Originally posted by bb_mm:seriously, if you tink having "own time" is more impt, then maybe you wld like to consider your marriage...
Otherwise, for her to change completely and live an unhappily married life is worse.
That is, worse for him and her and the marriage. -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
Firstly, are u married as well ?
Obviously you are not married... *sigh* you are really childish... I wonder how long your own marriage can last if you continue to behave like this after you are married....
[b]If marriage is not about compromise that what is it? A whole bunch of rules and regulations?
If you can find a partner that wants a dictator for a husband, good for you. Otherwise, she will be the most unhappy person on earth if she does not divorce you.
Have you heard of the phrase "self righteous prick?"[/b]
even you say marriage is about compromise, and that is exactly what most of us here are trying to say. but its what the TS is not doing. She has not spare a single thought about how her husband won't feel.
ask urself this, if your wife or husband is always going out till 3 - 4am and won't prefer to spend his/her free time with his/her friends (friends you do not know) more than you, will you feel worried about the kind of company that she/he is hanging out with ? Won't you be angry if he/she had made plans to overseas with a guy/girl friend alone in advance without the least among of respect for you as his/her husband/wife as to inform you about his/her plans before doing so ?
I believe no one will be able to keep a cool head when his/her life partner did all of the above.
Lastly pls watch your launguge !
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Just a reminder to everyone to refrain yourself from insulting others (including calling names), making personal attack or making racist remark.
I appreciate your cooperations!
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Originally posted by MiX Metal:
It takes two hands to clap... any you are jumping to conclusions that just because she spends time with her friends, she neglect her husband. There are 24 hours in a day you know? She can spend time with him until 11pm before she goes out.
Firstly, are u married as well ?
even you say marriage is about compromise, and that is exactly what most of us here are trying to say. but its what the TS is not doing. She has not spare a single thought about how her husband won't feel.
[b]ask urself this, if your wife or husband is always going out till 3 - 4am and won't prefer to spend his/her free time with his/her friends (friends you do not know) more than you, will you feel worried about the kind of company that she/he is hanging out with ? Won't you be angry if he/she had made plans to overseas with a guy/girl friend alone in advance without the least among of respect for you as his/her husband/wife as to inform you about his/her plans before doing so ?
I believe no one will be able to keep a cool head when his/her life partner did all of the above.
Lastly pls watch your launguge ! [/b]
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I left out something, going on a holiday with her friends is alright, but going on a holiday with another guy together with her friends instead of her husband tells u alot about the importance of her husband to her. I mean she would rather bring the guy friend then her own husband, had she spare any thoughts about how her husband would feel, I doubt she would have done it in the first place.
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Just to explain... I got mad because he called other peopleOriginally posted by honeymouse:Just a reminder to everyone to refrain yourself from insulting others (including calling names), making personal attack or making racist remark.
I appreciate your cooperations!
"21 June 2007 · 09:08 AM Click Here to See the Profile for bladez87 Edit Message Reply with Quote
typical selfish b|tch. "
and I never scold anybody. I only asked if people have ever heard of the phrase: "self righteous prick?" an innocent question -
Should this topic go to speaker's corner ???
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yah, but you see hor... she already explained that he is working and she is not. So you cannot say she does not want to bring him.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I left out something, going on a holiday with her friends is alright, but going on a holiday with another guy together with her friends instead of her husband tells u alot about the importance of her husband to her. I mean she would rather bring the guy friend then her own husband, had she spare any thoughts about how her husband would feel, I doubt she would have done it in the first place. -
I might be, but then again so could u. right ?????Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:It takes two hands to clap... any you are jumping to conclusions that just because she spends time with her friends, she neglect her husband. There are 24 hours in a day you know? She can spend time with him until 11pm before she goes out. -
the problem is, she should have inform her husband before and not after. And its after reading her post the I feel that she is over stepping bounderies .......Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:yah, but you see hor... she already explained that he is working and she is not. So you cannot say she does not want to bring him.
but thats jus my tots I could be wrong ? -
No lah... you ALWAYS right one... don't be so shy...Originally posted by MiX Metal:the problem is, she should have inform her husband before and not after. And its after reading her post the I feel that she is over stepping bounderies .......
but thats jus my tots I could be wrong ? -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:No lah... you ALWAYS right one... don't be so shy... I wonder if TS is able to get an idea of how to solve her problem after reading what everyone's view be it if they feels that she is doing the wrong thing or right thing ??
No sign of TS liaozz..... -
but got many other people reading wat... maybe it will help them in the future if not at present... but we better don't hijack the thread or the Mod has to give us another gentle reminder...Originally posted by MiX Metal: I wonder if TS is able to get an idea of how to solve her problem after reading what everyone's view be it if they feels that she is doing the wrong thing or right thing ??
No sign of TS liaozz..... -
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she went on holidays liao lah...Originally posted by MiX Metal: I wonder if TS is able to get an idea of how to solve her problem after reading what everyone's view be it if they feels that she is doing the wrong thing or right thing ??
No sign of TS liaozz.....
u all talk so much, she where got time to read everything... -
Originally posted by GHoST_18:she went on holidays liao lah...
u all talk so much, she where got time to read everything...
What have I done ??? -
Duh~ People....
She already mentioned she does not know or does not want to change, she wants her husband to accept her behavior..
Quote :
When my husband get "mad".... he also said most of things u guys stated.
I feel that he wanted to "prove" that I m wrong.... he wanted me to say sorry... he wanted me to feel guilty.
I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself....
He should accept what I m and not keep wanting to make me feel guilty. I didnt DO any behide his back at all. I can swear...... End Quote.
Is it very difficult to say sorry to mend the relationship ?
Is it very difficult to say no to the guy friend ?
Frankly, she's just throwing away her marriage... hopefully that Finland guy will treat her as good as her SG husband lor..... if not, she's just gonna kick herself in the end. -
errr. dont know how to and does not want to are two diff things... what is AA for? To help people that "dont know how to ", how to....Originally posted by jojobeach:I m what I m, I know...but I dont know how to change myself.... -
I believe thats not her problem, her problem is that she does not fully understand the meaning of marriage which is what most people here are trying to enlighten her with.
Hopefully she'll get it and do something about it to save her marriage. -
meaning of marriage... mister know it all.. please while you are at it, tell us why the answer to "the meaning of life, the universe and everything" is not 42?Originally posted by MiX Metal:I believe thats not her problem, her problem is that she does not fully understand the meaning of marriage which is what most people here are trying to enlighten her with.
Hopefully she'll get it and do something about it to save her marriage.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Answer_to_Life,_the_Universe,_and_Everything -
somehow or another things are always taking the wrong turn due to strange remarks made.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:meaning of marriage... mister know it all.. please while you are at it, tell us why the answer to "the meaning of life, the universe and everything" is not 42?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Answer_to_Life,_the_Universe,_and_Everything -
in the 1st place, u shoudn't get married, if u think everythins are so call "your own". look at the mirror & ask urself....y u need a husband? if he's not inside ur life...or u r not ready for him to come into ur life....think.....
not easy for two person to meet....but is easy for two person to break!!Originally posted by mikki1980:this is embarrassing to say because i have never actually made public in forums about my married life...i hope some of you can advise me quite reasonably and sensibly to the following situation.
I'm married 27, bcos of my work. I usually have 4 to 5 days off continous for each 2 week. I'm someone that like to travel, so usually I will take short trip around, eg. Phuket, Malaysia...etc. Bocs of busy work, my husband will not join me and he allow me to travel alone. I will travel alone or with friends.
I always wanted my "own time", so my husband will take it that travelling is my own time. Something happened this week. One of my guy friend from Finland come to SIN, last tuesday. Cos of my off day, I accompany him around SIN everyday, everynite, we will party till 3 or 4am. Then a group of my friends sugguested that we go to Batam over the weekends. Due to every nite also party till so late. When I back home, my husband already sleep. So I only told him that I will be leaving to Batam on sat. morning, when I will be leaving on sat. nite. I wil be back on sunday nite. When I told him, I can feel that he is not happy.
I have 4 days off again this thursday, that is 2morow. I already get bus ticket to travel up to KL with this Finland friend. Cos of me working night shift, I have not "seen" my husband after I return from Batam. We only sms each other. When we are on MSN last nite, he asked me am I travelling again this thursday cos of my off day. I told him, I will go to KL with Finland friend and already get bus ticket, returning on sunday morning. I told him, I planned to meet him after his work before I go to bus station. And only when I meet him then inform him. After hear this, he gone "mad"....... he said that I dont respect him.... etc......
I told him it's my own time, I get to decide what I want to do... then he said I should at least inform him or "discuss" with him.....etc
I told him, my friends r my friends. So I never introduce any of my friends to him. He know non of my friends. And I will never let him go out with me to any of my "own" function.
He is quite upset over this. And cos of this whole week, he never get to see me, he suddenly gone crazy.
I feel that he keep saying all this things to make me feel guilty, I m only doing my OWN things, so why should I let him know?
Can all of u "help" me......
He is correct to be "mad" about me? I m doing my OWN things in my OWN time.
Those are my friends, I dont want him to know any of my friends, cos it's my own life, dont want him to join us. Is it wrong?
What's wrong with traveling with a guy alone to another country? I already married.
Can any care to share some views? I wish to see this in a 3rd party view.
Thanks alot. -
wat I am trying to say is... there is no "meaning of marriage" or "meaning of life"Originally posted by MiX Metal:somehow or another things are always taking the wrong turn due to strange remarks made.
Life and marriage is a process... it is not a thing or idea that can have meaning or no meaning... the meaning is in the living
the meaning of marriage is in the marriage itself...
there is "married" or "not married" and there is no such thing as "meaningful" or "meaningless" marriage....
just as there is no such thing as "meaningful" or "meaningless" life....
you are either dead or alive and that's it.... -
Dun quite agree but will leave it as it isOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:wat I am trying to say is... there is no "meaning of marriage" or "meaning of life"
Life and marriage is a process... it is not a thing or idea that can have meaning or no meaning... the meaning is in the living
the meaning of marriage is in the marriage itself...
there is "married" or "not married" and there is no such thing as "meaningful" or "meaningless" marriage....
just as there is no such thing as "meaningful" or "meaningless" life....
you are either dead or alive and that's it.... -
Yeah... ?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:errr. dont know how to and does not want to are two diff things... what is AA for? To help people that "dont know how to ", how to....
So far, she never once posted she has feelings for her husband.
So far, she never once ask about sustaining the relationship.
So far, it seems she doesn't even love her husband. Not anymore it seems.
From her postings, she was merely here to garner some validation for her behaviour.
Fortunately, nobody agrees with her selfish thinking.
So far she believes that she is still right.
There is such a thing call " Extra Marital Affair".. she don't seem to understand what it means......because she thinks it's OK to go travel with another guy because she is already married....and she claims to be a U grad......