How can I help him to stop smoking?
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He didn't force me la. Just tried to persuade me to smoke, but I said a firm "no". To leave someone you care so much for just because he smokes, seems pretty harsh? Can't bear to leave him anyway..Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
How can a boyfriend did that to his girl. I guess if he didn't change, you better another better guy. 
I don't know his dad and his family doesn't know he smokes. -
But you confirm his GF hor...? Any intention of knowing his family?Originally posted by RedHairband:He didn't force me la. Just tried to persuade me to smoke, but I said a firm "no". To leave someone you care so much for just because he smokes, seems pretty harsh? Can't bear to leave him anyway..
I don't know his dad and his family doesn't know he smokes.
Coz it may help too. -
Ya, am his gf. From what I know about his family, I think they will just give him a tongue lashing, cut his allowance and stuff. Don't think it will help.Originally posted by Bontakun:But you confirm his GF hor...? Any intention of knowing his family?
Coz it may help too.
What I have in mind is to do some stuff that will really touch him and move his heart such that he will want to quit for his own sake, and perhaps for my sake too. -
Then you have to be well prepared and prepare well. For it will not be an easy road. If you have close, trustable friends. Do tell them and share your concerns with them. They may not be able to help you all the time, but they can offer you some form of assistance when you needed it.Originally posted by RedHairband:Ya, am his gf. From what I know about his family, I think they will just give him a tongue lashing, cut his allowance and stuff. Don't think it will help.
What I have in mind is to do some stuff that will really touch him and move his heart such that he will want to quit for his own sake, and perhaps for my sake too.
Have faith in this relationship with him.
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i get 1 pack MM for 10.40 nia
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Oh ... so u r the smoker's gf ???
It is very very difficult to stop some1 from smoking... It does not only need the close 1's help but also need the smoker to be a very determined person. To smoker, cigarette is a need, not want...
And if u r really very very determined to help him to stop smoking, I can share some life expereicne with u ...
My sister and father smoke last time... But after my father got a heart attack and stroke, doctor advice my family to stop my father from smoking. Then, my sister make a challenge with my father that she will stop smoking if my father stop smoking with her... Well... my father do not want her daughter to smoke and my sister dont want my father's health to deteriorate... In the end, both stop smoking...
Anyway, smoking is not really bad for u and him... As long as, yr partner respect that u r a non smoker, smoke when u r not around(care for yr health)... It is alright...
Smoking have its advantages and disadvantages.
Example :
In general, smoking is bad for health. But it may not be for some individuals...
So probably, it is easier to change yr perception in smoking... -
Ya I know it depends very much on himself. Even if I manage to stop him from smoking now, when he goes into NS next year then.....Originally posted by ispyyy:Oh ... so u r the smoker's gf ???
It is very very difficult to stop some1 from smoking... It does not only need the close 1's help but also need the smoker to be a very determined person. To smoker, cigarette is a need, not want...
And if u r really very very determined to help him to stop smoking, I can share some life expereicne with u ...
My sister and father smoke last time... But after my father got a heart attack and stroke, doctor advice my family to stop my father from smoking. Then, my sister make a challenge with my father that she will stop smoking if my father stop smoking with her... Well... my father do not want her daughter to smoke and my sister dont want my father's health to deteriorate... In the end, both stop smoking...
Anyway, smoking is not really bad for u and him... As long as, yr partner respect that u r a non smoker, smoke when u r not around(care for yr health)... It is alright...
Smoking have its advantages and disadvantages.
Example :
In general, smoking is bad for health. But it may not be for some individuals...
So probably, it is easier to change yr perception in smoking...
I think the biggest problem is that smokers know the harmful effects about smoking, but do they care? Like what you said, it's a need, not just a want. Even he knows it himself that he's no longer just a social smoker, he's addicted to it. He told me he needs to puff to destress, as an enjoyment etc.
And I feel like a failure to be unable to help my boy quit smoking.
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what if his girlfriend become's a smoker too HAHAHAHAOriginally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Thread starter, are you related to him in the sense that you are his girlfriend?
If yes, maybe you need some acting skills.
Boi : lit up cigg
Gal: Snatch cigg and smoke
Gal: *cough* *cough* *cough*
Boi: Heartbreak~
Boi: I'll quit smoking for you~
Gal: -
somehow knew both of u were couple... he still young so he wun realise the harm of smoking... go in NS even harder cos he will use smoking as a chance to mix around... u reali need to throw him into quit smoking programs now... both of u sch? how he picked up smoking? u not failure cos its he cant control himself + u not the one wearing the pants in the r/s... u can only show him the door... whether he wans to walk in its his own problem...Originally posted by RedHairband:Ya I know it depends very much on himself. Even if I manage to stop him from smoking now, when he goes into NS next year then.....
I think the biggest problem is that smokers know the harmful effects about smoking, but do they care? Like what you said, it's a need, not just a want. Even he knows it himself that he's no longer just a social smoker, he's addicted to it. He told me he needs to puff to destress, as an enjoyment etc.
And I feel like a failure to be unable to help my boy quit smoking. -
Where!Originally posted by kiss_my (_i_):i get 1 pack MM for 10.40 nia 
One puff won't get addicted de.Originally posted by coffeeortea:what if his girlfriend become's a smoker too HAHAHAHA
But however I am not too sure about coffee or tea. Got caffeine. -
yes get his parents to cut his allowance then no $$$ to smoke liao ...Originally posted by Bontakun:But you confirm his GF hor...? Any intention of knowing his family?
Coz it may help too.
I starter smoking when I was young .... and yes during my time most girls find guys that smoke cool.... Don't ask me why ? I have no idea myself ???? -
Well... if u r able to make him stop once, means tat he is a determined person, he can control himself and that is not a worry at all... But sadly, most smokers cant control themself...Originally posted by RedHairband:Ya I know it depends very much on himself. Even if I manage to stop him from smoking now, when he goes into NS next year then.....
I think the biggest problem is that smokers know the harmful effects about smoking, but do they care? Like what you said, it's a need, not just a want. Even he knows it himself that he's no longer just a social smoker, he's addicted to it. He told me he needs to puff to destress, as an enjoyment etc.
And I feel like a failure to be unable to help my boy quit smoking.
Example :
If scientific research proven that cars and bus cause great health hazard. If u have been introduced to cars and bus as a transport, will u do away with it ? If u have not been introduced to cars and bus as a transport, will u continue to walk? Try to get point A to point B without motorised transport ><
Dont feel it as a failure that u r unable to help yr bf to quit smoking... It is normal... Respect his area of interest... And hopefully, he will respect yrs by not influrencing u to smoke or causing any health hazard to u -
lolOriginally posted by MiX Metal:yes get his parents to cut his allowance then no $$$ to smoke liao ...
I starter smoking when I was young .... and yes during my time most girls find guys that smoke cool.... Don't ask me why ? I have no idea myself ???? -
First and foremost ask him if he wants to stop.
Then ask him if he is willing to let you help him.
If both the above are in the affirmative.
Only then proceed.
Impose a penalty, everytime you catch him smoking, like fine $10.
Do not allow gradual reduction of consumption. Cut off at once.
Rope in his other friends to monitor him.
Collect the fines/penalty immediately, no credit.
Circumstantial evidence allowed, like breath smelling of cigarettes.
Cigarette smokers smoke out of addiction and habit.
Early smokers do so mostly out of acquired habit. -
Originally posted by mancha:
agree ! I think for me its more of a habit, bad habit ......
Cigarette smokers smoke out of addiction [b]and habit.
Early smokers do so mostly out of acquired habit.[/b] -
Tell him you dont like kissing an ashtray
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ya, we're both in a JC now. uhmm. he started smoking because of an incident which threw him into melancholy. And since then, smoking somehow became an addiction.Originally posted by BrUtUs:somehow knew both of u were couple... he still young so he wun realise the harm of smoking... go in NS even harder cos he will use smoking as a chance to mix around... u reali need to throw him into quit smoking programs now... both of u sch? how he picked up smoking? u not failure cos its he cant control himself + u not the one wearing the pants in the r/s... u can only show him the door... whether he wans to walk in its his own problem...
I'd tried opening multiple doors before, but he refused to take a look at them. I'm getting more and more desperate each day. -
HUH??Originally posted by ispyyy:Example :
If scientific research proven that cars and bus cause great health hazard. If u have been introduced to cars and bus as a transport, will u do away with it ? If u have not been introduced to cars and bus as a transport, will u continue to walk? Try to get point A to point B without motorised transport ><
If all things fail, I guess I just have to learn to respect his choice and live with it. But I still want to help him now!Originally posted by ispyyy:Well... if u r able to make him stop once, means tat he is a determined person, he can control himself and that is not a worry at all... But sadly, most smokers cant control themself...
Dont feel it as a failure that u r unable to help yr bf to quit smoking... It is normal... Respect his area of interest... And hopefully, he will respect yrs by not influrencing u to smoke or causing any health hazard to u
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I supposed that incident is a point you may have to confront him about. I do not know... If he still want to smoke, then respect his decision bah. For now just try to list down what you can do within your scope of influence.Originally posted by RedHairband:ya, we're both in a JC now. uhmm. he started smoking because of an incident which threw him into melancholy. And since then, smoking somehow became an addiction.
I'd tried opening multiple doors before, but he refused to take a look at them. I'm getting more and more desperate each day. -
He doesn't want to quit, and he wants me to stop "forcing" him to quit. Seeing a hole ahead of him, I can't possibly let him fall in, can I? He said that he appreciates my concern but he just doesn't want to quit yet.Originally posted by mancha:First and foremost ask him if he wants to stop.
Then ask him if he is willing to let you help him.
If both the above are in the affirmative.
Only then proceed.
I tried stealing his ciggs whenever I could, but always got caught. -
let him fucking die if he just cant thinkOriginally posted by RedHairband:He doesn't want to quit, and he wants me to stop "forcing" him to quit. Seeing a hole ahead of him, I can't possibly let him fall in, can I? He said that he appreciates my concern but he just doesn't want to quit yet.
I tried stealing his ciggs whenever I could, but always got caught.
how old liao... if cannot think for ownself then don't he don't deserve any care or concern... let him die...
and go find another better guy. -
We had set the rules, if he smokes and has the smell, we won't kiss. But ah, he always manage to get the smell off and I couldn't detect a thing. -.-||Originally posted by DC+:Tell him you dont like kissing an ashtray -
I did confront him regarding that incident. He said that it was the reason why he had started smoking but now, he smokes because he enjoys doing so and it's somewhat an addiction already.Originally posted by Bontakun:I supposed that incident is a point you may have to confront him about. I do not know... If he still want to smoke, then respect his decision bah. For now just try to list down what you can do within your scope of influence.
Ya, may be I should just try to respect his decision. I tried respecting that before and kept quiet about this habit of his for a few weeks. But after that I couldn't take it and started nagging again. -
Here's a curious incident from my NS days....Originally posted by RedHairband:We had set the rules, if he smokes and has the smell, we won't kiss. But ah, he always manage to get the smell off and I couldn't detect a thing. -.-||
There was a female comms spec who smoked but her bf tied her up for cold turkey and said to her that he'll be there always for her. Well, that caused her to stop smoking. -
eh.. I think he loves me more than I love him.Originally posted by rathcycle:let him fuc[b]king die if he just cant think
how old liao... if cannot think for ownself then don't he don't deserve any care or concern... let him die...
[/b][/quote]
Why are you so worked up about this? Well, we all have faults. Perhaps smoking is just one of his 'faults'.
[quote]Originally posted by rathcycle:
and go find another better guy.