Misconceptions of Love
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It was a big joke at that time... the book was by literary standards very poorly written and I believed very quickly written but it became a best seller and was made into a movie staring Ryan O Neal (the George Clooney/Brad Pitt of that time) and the actress was... let me google...Originally posted by eagle:It sounds very drama-like.
But the most touching love stories are those of real life old couples, with one spouse having a terminal illness...
Or love in the sense of loving one's children... Taking care of them unconditionally even though they are incapable of doing anything else
Love Story (1970) is a sentimental, romantic tearjerker film from director Arthur Hiller about a tragic couple. [Hiller had passed up the opportunity to work on The Godfather (1972) to make this film.] The melodramatic soap-opera, tremendously popular and a financial success (the top-earning film of the year) but panned by critics for its sappy content, was based upon Erich Segal's best-selling short novel of the same name. The film's tagline, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," appeared slightly differently in Segal's novelization: "Love means not ever having to say you're sorry."
The catchy, haunting, piano-plinking score won the Best Original Score Oscar (the film's sole award) for Francis Lai from its seven Academy Awards nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Ryan O'Neal), Best Supporting Actor (John Marley), Best Actress (Ali MacGraw), Best Director (Arthur Hiller), and Best Original Story and Screenplay (Erich Segal). Beau Bridges, Michael York, Michael Douglas, Jon Voight, Michael Sarrazin and Peter Fonda all turned down the part of Oliver - which ultimately went to Ryan O'Neal. -
system bug...
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hmmmm... Love can be a feeling even without the relationship?Originally posted by eagle:To me, one-sided love is still love... It only becomes a relationship when your love is returned
BTW when I ask questions it is supposed to be read together with the title. Like:
"Love can be a feeling even without the relationship?" Is that a Misconception of Love? -
Love is overrated most of the time.
When you are in love, and that someone is also in love with you, you think that love is great and that love isnt that tough. That isnt true. You only feel love is great because both of you are fortunate enough to meet and have each other.
As for others, there are many other things that are better than their love lives. -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
I think the previous thread is abt being committed to the person u have a r/s with.
Love is a commitment.... how true/false?
Like, if the other person is unfaithful, will you still be committed to the relationship if you say that Love is a commitment?
For example,u may met another new guy who may be yr colleague or new friend who is almost in any way better than yr present bf and have a liking of u. So are u going to follow yr feeling and choose a better one?
Of cos,if yr partner is unfaithful,just dump him. He breaks the commitment and promise. U are not responsible to tie to this type of person liao.....
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Originally posted by tingal79:
Just like the TS stated. Love need to be control and put yr sensibility into it. Know what is wrong and what is right. When to let go and and when to hang on. But r/s also need to be learn and is a process. If u master that,it will not be overrated. It will be wonderful and one of the joyous thing in world to able to find a life time partner that can share thru thick and thin.
Love is overrated most of the time.
When you are in love, and that someone is also in love with you, you think that love is [b]great and that love isnt that tough. That isnt true. You only feel love is great because both of you are fortunate enough to meet and have each other.
As for others, there are many other things that are better than their love lives.[/b] -
Originally posted by tingal79:
Love is easy if you find the right partner but is really tough, otherwise? Love is not everything in life and if fact there are many things much better then love? Examples?
Love is overrated most of the time.
When you are in love, and that someone is also in love with you, you think that love is [b]great and that love isnt that tough. That isnt true. You only feel love is great because both of you are fortunate enough to meet and have each other.
As for others, there are many other things that are better than their love lives.[/b] -
So love is conditional commitment? Love is commitment only if the other party is faithful? What else? Love is conditional commitment and only if the other party is.... (fill in the blank)Originally posted by CannyOng:I think the previous thread is abt being committed to the person u have a r/s with.
For example,u may met another new guy who may be yr colleague or new friend who is almost in any way better than yr present bf and have a liking of u. So are u going to follow yr feeling and choose a better one?
Of cos,if yr partner is unfaithful,just dump him. He breaks the commitment and promise. U are not responsible to tie to this type of person liao..... -
For Love to be successful, you need... " to be in control"; "put yr sensibility into itOriginally posted by CannyOng:Just like the TS stated. Love need to be control and put yr sensibility into it. Know what is wrong and what is right. When to let go and and when to hang on. But r/s also need to be learn and is a process. If u master that,it will not be overrated. It will be wonderful and one of the joyous thing in world to able to find a life time partner that can share thru thick and thin.
(maybe it means be sensible, wise, intelligent); "Know what is wrong and what is right"; "Know When to let go and and when to hang on"; "is a learning process"; "Can be wonderful and one of the joyous thing";
Love is sharing through thick and thin?
Anyone care to elaborate? -
Means you are with your partner through the happy times to share his happiness, but when your partner is down or going through tough times, you will be there to help him or her shoulder the burden tooOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:For Love to be successful, you need... " to be in control"; "put yr sensibility into it (maybe it means be sensible, wise, intelligent); "Know what is wrong and what is right"; "Know When to let go and and when to hang on"; "is a learning process"; "Can be wonderful and one of the joyous thing";
Love is sharing through thick and thin?
Anyone care to elaborate?
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Example? What if the bad times are caused by one of the partners and affected the whole family? Like because of one party gambling at the casino? Do you then continue to "be there to help him or her shoulder the burden too ?"Originally posted by rainee:Means you are with your partner through the happy times to share his happiness, but when your partner is down or going through tough times, you will be there to help him or her shoulder the burden too -
Will try to, but will of course help him to get rid of the gambling habit as well. I am not someone who can tolerate gamblers though, because my own dad is a compulsive gambler.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Example? What if the bad times are caused by one of the partners and affected the whole family? Like because of one party gambling at the casino? Do you then continue to "be there to help him or her shoulder the burden too ?"
I will help someone who is going through tough time and is trying to help himself as well, not someone who is going through tough time but is not doing anything by himself to make the situation better, but just rely on me fully to do that... -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Look at the people around you and look at the threads/posts in this forum...
What are the common misconceptions of love?
here's one....
if you think like that... *sigh* you are heading for trouble...
Love is a feeling like hunger is a feeling and just as when you are hungry, you have to handle that hungry feeling well... know what food to eat to stay healthy, avoid poisonous food and so on... you too must know how to handle your feelings of love well or you will be in trouble...
Misconception of love is largely due to an individual's life journey. A person growing up in a disruptive domestic environment is likely to learn about love much more differently from another coming from a loving family. And of course, when you factor in karmic reasoning - our growth and cosmic lessons will differ vastly, giving rise to different attitude and perception of what love is to them.
The notion of 'misconception' is not literal; in fact, it's more likely to be a 'pseudo-reality' having to live in their own experience and suffering from the consequence of what have been presented to them. They will classify it as their version of truth in love, accepting and feeding these grime maliciously into their mindset and in turn, behaving like what their thoughts believe in.
Love is never about destiny - it's about empowerment, realization, choice and learning.
Many times, it's not so much of how much someone suffered in love - it's about what you come out of it and surmount those challenges. Not everyone needs higher learning in love; you just need to know enough to make your relationship fulfilling.
Cheers -
I am starting these topics because I think that many people live life "without thinking" but they do not agree that they live life without thinking... they insist that they live life in a very thoughtful manner...
*haiz* just because people engage in the thinking process, they assume that they are "thinking properly".
How shall I put this? Just because you are having sex, it does not mean that you are "making love".
Just because you are putting things into your mouth, it does not mean that you are eating nutritious food.
Just because you lie in bed and close your eyes, it does not mean that you are sleeping.
In order to think properly (it is more than this) you need to have the "correct" (facts, perspectives) information.
In order to have the correct information, someone need to give it to you.
What better way than to do it in an open discussion and everyone contributes to give the "correct" facts and opinions so that everyone can have the "correct" facts and perspective to engage in "proper thinking."
If you simply read and do not contribute, if there are any wrong perspectives or errors in your head, you will not know it.
When you contribute, you gain.... by having your thoughts clarified for you by fellow forumners.
Why are some people smarter? Wiser? happier?... the process is long and hard. You need to get rid of all the errors in your head. The way to do that is to engage in discussions.... -
but cant we live life without thinking?
but u dun insist that u are thats all.
wont we lead a happier life that way?
of course, leading a life without much thinking wont bring u a good life (monetary wise), but a simple life can also give a fulfilling life, no?
just my tots...
btw wad i meant by Love is war was that all is fair in love, u fight for it and dun blame others for taking away wads 'urs' -
You can life life without thinking... but you would have to replace the thinking with something else...Originally posted by lageihsif:but cant we live life without thinking?
but u dun insist that u are thats all.
wont we lead a happier life that way?
of course, leading a life without much thinking wont bring u a good life (monetary wise), but a simple life can also give a fulfilling life, no?
just my tots...
btw wad i meant by Love is war was that all is fair in love, u fight for it and dun blame others for taking away wads 'urs'
You are not suggesting, when you say that you live life without thinking, that you also do not make any decisions and or you do not do anything at all.
That all you do is eat play and sleep?
Of course not right?
But I know what you mean... you might simply live life according to your instincts, for example... and by your feelings... for another example.
You do not what Chinese like to call "keng tao now" meaning work your brains.
The difference between the manager and the worker is that the manager "keng tao now" all the time.... and... and... and... but... but... but...
*haiz* you have brought up a very important point and it will take a long time to respond to your point.... *headache*
Simply put, yes you can, live life without thinking but there are consequences and no, it is not just "wont bring u a good life (monetary wise)" (hahaha you can think properly does not automatically you will be rich and famous... you need "talent" and opportunities, for example together with great thinking skills to have money)
Many people are like that, "Live life without thinking" and if they are reasonably happy, they just continue living life like that...
Then when problems come they start thinking and realise they have no idea how to think properly... and... if you learn how to think properly, you might not even get into the difficulties in the first place....!!!!
about your "Love is War"... (open to the floor) "Love is war... don't feel guilty stealing other people's boyfriends or girlfriends.... (Is this a good conception or misconception of Love?) -
Alamak... y most post here all narrow love till bgr???
Can also be:
"
Some love wasabi
But some wonder why some love wasabi
Some love sour
But some wonder why some love sour
Some love bitter
But some wonder why some love bitter
And lastly, not every1 love sweet
"
Those who love sour will have the same wavelenght. They will discuss on things on where to get the best sour food.
Those who love bitter will have the same wavelenght. They will discuss on things on where to get the best bitter food.
Every1 is unique in a way and thus, choice vary.
That is life and that is the reason y life is a miracle... -
Then when problems come they start thinking and realise they have no idea how to think properly... and... if you learn how to think properly, you might not even get into the difficulties in the first place....!!!!
Some problems don't have solutions and some solutions don't come with thinking. Sometimes if you don't think so much, you won't see as many problems - ignorance is bliss. And thus if you don't think so much, you won't have as many problems as you would if you thought about them before they happened.
Even if you learn how to think properly, not everyone is the same as you. You may be able to avoid putting yourself in a fix, but you can't prevent others from putting you in a fix.
It's good brain exercise, but ultimately nobody is perfect, and that's why we have friends and family and we depend on them and share our problems.
So ah, what are the correct conceptions of love? -
Think consequences...Originally posted by MooKu:Some problems don't have solutions and some solutions don't come with thinking. Sometimes if you don't think so much, you won't see as many problems - ignorance is bliss.
Good thinking skills include not making this type of obvious errors in thinking... if you are skillful in thinking, you won't be so stupid as to create imaginary problems... that is "bad" thinking skill.Originally posted by MooKu:And thus if you don't think so much, you won't have as many problems as you would if you thought about them before they happened.
Good thinking skills include the good ways to handle the "fix"Originally posted by MooKu:Even if you learn how to think properly, not everyone is the same as you. You may be able to avoid putting yourself in a fix, but you can't prevent others from putting you in a fix.
Nobody is perfect is a very bad excuse for having bad thinking skills.Originally posted by MooKu:It's good brain exercise, but ultimately nobody is perfect, and that's why we have friends and family and we depend on them and share our problems.
Nobody is perfect and I might not get into an accident and the police might not stop me so... drunk driving is ok.
Nobody is perfect and I might die from an accident after all so smoking cig is ok.
These are all errors in thinking and not caused by thinking.
That is what we are here in this thread trying to work out...Originally posted by MooKu:So ah, what are the correct conceptions of love? -
Because BGR Love cause many problems for many people....Originally posted by ispyyy:Alamak... y most post here all narrow love till bgr???
Can also be:
"
Some love wasabi
But some wonder why some love wasabi
Some love sour
But some wonder why some love sour
Some love bitter
But some wonder why some love bitter
And lastly, not every1 love sweet
"
Those who love sour will have the same wavelenght. They will discuss on things on where to get the best sour food.
Those who love bitter will have the same wavelenght. They will discuss on things on where to get the best bitter food.
Every1 is unique in a way and thus, choice vary.
That is life and that is the reason y life is a miracle... -
And that is because they narrow love till BGROriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:Because BGR Love cause many problems for many people....
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Hmm... very hard to definition love as each individual hold on to their own belief...
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Originally posted by rathcycle:
How did you spell the word "fucking" without getting censored?
love is just another fuc[b]king bored process that i would not wana repeat...[/b]
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I'm not talking about imaginary problems. What I'm saying is, if you're not so intelligent, sometimes you won't even see problems when they're right in front of you. And as I said, some problems don't have solutions, and some problems don't need solving - they just disappear on their own.
Yes, good thinking skills can help you to get out of the fix. I only said thisEven if you learn how to think properly, not everyone is the same as you. You may be able to avoid putting yourself in a fix, but you can't prevent others from putting you in a fix
because you said "you might not even get into the difficulties in the first place".
Is it possible to know what is wrong without knowing what is right, or is there a 'right' in the first place?
If "nobody is perfect" is a lousy excuse for having poor thinking skills, why is it that today there are still so many people with poor thinking skills?
Going back to the topic on "love", you can try to 'rationalize love', or have terrific thinking skills to know what to do when you run into problems that are love-related. But love is a very overwhelming emotion. Even if you have written several books on relationship advice, you might not be able to do what you know you're supposed to do when the problem comes. Love is blind - love is blinding too. -
OK we have a new mis/conception of Love:Originally posted by ispyyy:And that is because they narrow love till BGR
If you focus your love only on BGR love... you will have many problems?