Over generous bf?
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I need his generosity....
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Me too.Originally posted by mistyblue:I need his generosity....
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TS, if your bf is donating money to poorer people than I have nothing to say. But he's action is akin to throwing money into the sea. -
Yes no matter how simple a wedding is there will always be a price tag. And did you actually clarify with him whats his meaning of a simple wedding ? Does he means that he doesn't want a wedding dinner ?? If so are you ok with it ?Originally posted by nanren4ever:No matter how simple the wedding is, it will still be expensive. Things like taking bridal photos, booking of wedding tables etc, no matter how "budget", is still a considerable amt. Like someone here suggested, show him the accounts. Tell him gently that there may be a slight problem in raising enough money if he doesn't curb being generous. -
money is meant to be spent
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lol alot of very INTEResting replies...
lol i need his lol...
and above that 1...lol
ok la i think
u should handle his $ thats all..
but to a amount lor
or like ask him pay u how much every month...
like the i not stupid
then he ask for what
u say
its for YOU OWN GOOD!
lol..
ya agree with the joint accounts too but u need watch him with how much he uses...
XD -
you should just let him know that there will be times that you guys will be needing that kind of money.
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salaried worker - overgenerous behavious - low in savings - no property =Originally posted by galfriend:no, we are not high income group people. we are salaried workers, so every cent counts especially since he not young (early 30s) and wants to start a family next year right?
this are all recipe for the poorhouse and be prepare for many quarrel in the future about money after marriage.
most couple unhappiness after marriage always stems from lack of money or problem in finance, unless you can fix this now..or change his behaviour...you either have to make effort to make lots of money to cover for him.
do you want to work in mcdonalds when you are 60? -
Dont think i need to work in mcdonalds after retirement. im earning pretty decent pay actually, so im financially independent.Originally posted by Space1999:salaried worker - overgenerous behavious - low in savings - no property =
this are all recipe for the poorhouse and be prepare for many quarrel in the future about money after marriage.
most couple unhappiness after marriage always stems from lack of money or problem in finance, unless you can fix this now..or change his behaviour...you either have to make effort to make lots of money to cover for him.
do you want to work in mcdonalds when you are 60?
any suggestion on how to change his behaviour? -
she say he is quite persistent in his way, i.e he is quite stubborn..generous is cool..over generous is kinda showing off silly , trust me ppl take advantage of that all the time...Originally posted by EMOguy:lol alot of very INTEResting replies...
lol i need his lol...
and above that 1...lol
ok la i think
u should handle his $ thats all..
but to a amount lor
or like ask him pay u how much every month...
like the i not stupid
then he ask for what
u say
its for YOU OWN GOOD!
lol..
ya agree with the joint accounts too but u need watch him with how much he uses...
XD -
Yes, by being so over generous, one is tempting others to take advantage of him.Originally posted by Space1999:she say he is quite persistent in his way, i.e he is quite stubborn..generous is cool..over generous is kinda showing off silly , trust me ppl take advantage of that all the time... -
difficultOriginally posted by galfriend:Dont think i need to work in mcdonalds after retirement. im earning pretty decent pay actually, so im financially independent.
any suggestion on how to change his behaviour?
he takes pride in his behaviour, its like his coat of arms ,take that away from him and he may feel like a lesser man..
usually he is compensating for something less in his life, or maybe he is just simply a fool
the reason i took interest in this thread, i saw many of a good man just like this with his behavior , taken advantage by guys and girls, stripped bare and end up as poor old man
at 38 , he might be too late to change but try your best if not , this will also drag you down financially.
you may still have to work at macdonalds, for this type of person are always a bit gullible to friends call for help, investments and other scams(my daughter is very sick pls lend me whatever you have)
and you might have to cover that debt.
trust me i seen many of this type of person - its kind a like the titanic...
you have to force him to change...
he thinks its cool
but actually he is just a fool -
I think you should rethink going into a marriage with such a guy.
In the end, if this over spending cannot be resolved.
You will end up with plenty of arguments over money.
Many divorce are due to financial problems.
Before you say "I do"
Please sit down with him and discuss family financial plans.
Both of you must agree to it and be committed to continuing the plans.
Right now you are only his girlfriend, but you have seen a glimpse of how it is going to be like in a marriage with him.
He may be financially stable with his income.
Have you checked his debts ?
How much money does he owes the bank ?
If he cannot properly manage his financials, you may be heading for a big problem after marriage and worst.. after children.
Think carefully. Don't marry into debts. -
sure happen, most probably he is the type of guy who consider friends are very important to him and goes out drinking with them frequently, always the smiling nice guy type..Originally posted by galfriend:Yes, by being so over generous, one is tempting others to take advantage of him.
tell him , his priority is you , not others...
at 38 , he dont have a property yet? -
well , this post cover it all...Originally posted by jojobeach:I think you should rethink going into a marriage with such a guy.
In the end, if this over spending cannot be resolved.
You will end up with plenty of arguments over money.
Many divorce are due to financial problems.
Before you say "I do"
Please sit down with him and discuss family financial plans.
Both of you must agree to it and be committed to continuing the plans.
Right now you are only his girlfriend, but you have seen a glimpse of how it is going to be like in a marriage with him.
He may be financially stable with his income.
Have you checked his debts ?
How much money does he owes the bank ?
If he cannot properly manage his financials, you may be heading for a big problem after marriage and worst.. after children.
Think carefully. -
how can she check his debts?Originally posted by jojobeach:I think you should rethink going into a marriage with such a guy.
In the end, if this over spending cannot be resolved.
You will end up with plenty of arguments over money.
Many divorce are due to financial problems.
Before you say "I do"
Please sit down with him and discuss family financial plans.
Both of you must agree to it and be committed to continuing the plans.
Right now you are only his girlfriend, but you have seen a glimpse of how it is going to be like in a marriage with him.
He may be financially stable with his income.
Have you checked his debts ?
How much money does he owes the bank ?
If he cannot properly manage his financials, you may be heading for a big problem after marriage and worst.. after children.
Think carefully. Don't marry into debts.
i dont think he will tell her...or even the credit card bills... -
i asked about credit card bills before, no debt. anyway, most of the time, he pays cash rather than using credit cardOriginally posted by Space1999:how can she check his debts?
i dont think he will tell her...or even the credit card bills...
btw, he is in his early 30s, not 38. -
But debt free is not good enough. Gotta have savings when thinking of settling down.
I should talk to him about it, and impress upon him the importance of it i think. any suggestion how? -
It is very simple.Originally posted by Space1999:how can she check his debts?
i dont think he will tell her...or even the credit card bills...
If the guy is reluctant to declare his financial credibility, you might want to start worrying.
Usually, if a person is not in debt.. why would he want to hide this fact ?
It becomes an advantage in gaining trust and respect from the girl.
If he chose to lie to his girl, how long can he live this lie ? -
d.post
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You guys go out with me n let me foot the bill instead of him. That'll make him save.
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A direct approach is best.Originally posted by galfriend:But debt free is not good enough. Gotta have savings when thinking of settling down.
I should talk to him about it, and impress upon him the importance of it i think. any suggestion how?
If he is truly debt free. Wonderful.
Do you also know how much he has in his savings ?
By the way, are you already engaged ?
Joint account is never a good idea. Please do not try to control your man's money before you even get married . OK ? -
not really , he will still treat his friends...not her...whats the difference,Originally posted by BadzMaro:You guys go out with me n let me foot the bill instead of him. That'll make him save. -
i totally agree with you , i doubt he even let her control his money..Originally posted by jojobeach:A direct approach is best.
If he is truly debt free. Wonderful.
Do you also know how much he has in his savings ?
By the way, are you already engaged ?
Joint account is never a good idea. Please do not try to control your man's money before you even get married . OK ? -
wow, im impressed by how much you understand such behavior.Originally posted by Space1999:not really , he will still treat his friends...not her...whats the difference, -
its easyOriginally posted by galfriend:wow, im impressed by how much you understand such behavior.
they will never change
even after they have kids
they have no sense of what is important and what is not until something really bad happen
but by then its too late..
friends are not forever
they are not bonded to you , you should tell him that
there must be a distinction in life
aquaintance and friend
many ppl say im their friend, but truly i dont have a single person i consider as my friend..that way i dont have to lend them money or listen to their sob story