caring guys?
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What u guys have posted is really in question.
The bf once treat her well while she,nasty to him.
ok now that the guy is showing less concern to her after the breakup,she whine and hav the auducity to say things like "gals wants their guy to shower care and love...."
well u know what?
Stop being an idiot and wake up.
U know what ur acting like?
Your acting like immature kid who provoke others and then WHINE and MAKE A DRAMA out of everything when that person provoke u back.
Sounds familar?
well we all see this everyday lin school,in workplace,practically everywhere.
And it puts the whole thing in question like....
"DO U think others cannot punch u in the face like when u punch their face?"
Think and wallow in guilt for all that u have done. -
do u believe in karma?
no offences.. -
are you sure the issue is you need to know how guys show that they care? since you broke up and patched a few times already and still you have compatibility problems... you can try to work them out but since you are not married, I suggest that you find someone more compatible to work out your problems.... there will be problems even with a more compatible other... but it will be easier...Originally posted by dabummer:my boy and i have been tgt for more than 2 years. broke up and patched quite a few times. i admit that last time, i took him for granted and treat him really nastily which resulted in a break up. but we patched. now i am treating him much better but he seems to be taking his revenge.
he doesnt seem to care about me anymore. i told him how i was feeling and he said that he cares and loves me but i dont feel a single bit of his care and concern!
sigh, how do guys show tht they care?
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You seem to have a terrible misconception of the roles each party should play in a relationship.Originally posted by dabummer:i tried...but it suxs becoz it seems like i am giving in so much and not getting back any. its not a matter of sms or not bt i guess all girls want their bf to show sm tender loving care for them and make them feel loved and pampered. i feel more like the bf now =.=
i know it will be a waste thts why i have been holding on. if i didnt made the first move i guess it could have been the end of us then.
Are you suggesting human relations should operate on the principles of economics whereby you need a sustained profit to ensure the operation is viable? Noble and ambitious as you may be with regard to what you feel guys should do, it's easy to forget girls have a role to play to sustain this relationship too.
The fact you can state something along the lines of "i feel more like the bf now" just sums up what's so wrong about your relationship and your maturity - I'm sure that guy deserves a less calculative girlfriend who will only give based on how much she takes. -
Most probably it is.Originally posted by eagle:hopefully it's not true
Cos judging by how the guy treat her aft they patch.
Seems like it. -
tit for tat and like that how to last a life-time...? the more I think about this the more I think TS should just call the whole thing off....Originally posted by seotiblizzard:Most probably it is.
Cos judging by how the guy treat her aft they patch.
Seems like it. -
Totally agree, just feel the same way too.Originally posted by boka:What u guys have posted is really in question.
The bf once treat her well while she,nasty to him.
ok now that the guy is showing less concern to her after the breakup,she whine and hav the auducity to say things like "gals wants their guy to shower care and love...."
well u know what?
Stop being an idiot and wake up.
U know what ur acting like?
Your acting like immature kid who provoke others and then WHINE and MAKE A DRAMA out of everything when that person provoke u back.
Sounds familar?
well we all see this everyday lin school,in workplace,practically everywhere.
And it puts the whole thing in question like....
"DO U think others cannot punch u in the face like when u punch their face?"
Think and wallow in guilt for all that u have done. -
It doesn't have to last for a life time.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:tit for tat and like that how to last a life-time...? the more I think about this the more I think TS should just call the whole thing off....
Such action just so coincidentally comes together with my idea of new world order.
U see,tit for tat won't last a life time because after awhile,everyone goes blind and lives under the shadow of fear and punishment,knowing that every actions of their can result in a backfire.
well they'll watch their actions carefully then.
While u cannot eradicate the evil of mankind,u can however,make them cowed in fear under a erfect system like this. -
orbygood
u deserve it!
u think man is a toy for woman huh
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that's easy.....very easyOriginally posted by dabummer:the feeling suxs...when ur love is not reciprocated. i knw thts nt the way love should be but yeaa..this relationship seems so hopeless. u r right, i dun trust him as much as the past. but him not showing his care for me is making it worse. to me, care = send sms, showing tht he thinks of me etc.
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Girl,
This relationship is already broken.
It is broken beyond repair.
You broke it, now he's breaking it.
It has become meaningless to continue hanging on........
Time you let this go.
Set him free. Set yourself free. -
New World Order? Look at CSJ... he where got scared one? There are many like him actually, just that bcos PAP never bother to or smart enough not to hit too many, that is why only he alone is out there....Originally posted by boka:It doesn't have to last for a life time.
Such action just so coincidentally comes together with my idea of new world order. U see,tit for tat won't last a life time because after awhile,everyone goes blind and lives under the shadow of fear and punishment, knowing that every actions of their can result in a backfire. well they'll watch their actions carefully then. While u cannot eradicate the evil of mankind,u can however,make them cowed in fear under a erfect system like this.
If PAP hit more people like the way they hit CSJ... you will see many more CSJ in the streets...
I think if these two take the attitude of tit for tat, might as well call the whole thing off... live life so difficult for what? Single even better than this.
She can of course wait and see if he stops it... otherwise, this relationship is doomed. Unless he is a closet sadist and she a closet masochist without knowing it themselves! -
what u said there is true but wrong.Originally posted by dabummer:i tried...but it suxs becoz it seems like i am giving in so much and not getting back any. its not a matter of sms or not bt i guess all girls want their bf to show sm tender loving care for them and make them feel loved and pampered. i feel more like the bf now =.=
i know it will be a waste thts why i have been holding on. if i didnt made the first move i guess it could have been the end of us then.
True : we gals do like our bfs to shower us with love, care, tenderness, etc.
Wrong : this goes both ways. I'm sure the guys want and look for the same love, care, tenderness, etc to be showered onto them. we should NOT feel like we are the bf when we show our guys that we love them. that's a wrong mentality. you cant expect to be the one who recieves all the time.
As you said, the last time, you did not treasure him, and in turn hurted him, you have hurted the trust HE has in YOU/Your relationship.
how can you expect him to recover from that hurt and revert back to normal?
You have to spend time to earn back the trust you have lost.
To him, he may be reluctant to plunge right back in again in case he gets hurted again.
If you were in his shoes i'm sure you will be taking your time to warm up again....
Bottomline, stop looking in the mirror! look at him! Talk to him. Help him trust you again. -
come pm u ur phone number.. i will sms u every hour or every 30 mins..Originally posted by dabummer:the feeling suxs...when ur love is not reciprocated. i knw thts nt the way love should be but yeaa..this relationship seems so hopeless. u r right, i dun trust him as much as the past. but him not showing his care for me is making it worse. to me, care = send sms, showing tht he thinks of me etc.
is ok if u just toying me around.. i happy u happy y not
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For such system to work,the lower extend of jailing and fining no longer pose any fear.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:New World Order? Look at CSJ... he where got scared one? There are many like him actually, just that bcos PAP never bother to or smart enough not to hit too many, that is why only he alone is out there....
If PAP hit more people like the way they hit CSJ... you will see many more CSJ in the streets...
I think if these two take the attitude of tit for tat, might as well call the whole thing off... live life so difficult for what? Single even better than this.
She can of course wait and see if he stops it... otherwise, this relationship is doomed. Unless he is a closet sadist and she a closet masochist without knowing it themselves!
To make a beautiful world for a system like this to materialise,u excerise fear and pain in to the hearts of all.
why,haven i been telling him to throw the relationship?
When the guy breaks with this gal,it validate my perception that such system is justifiable and seeing such case come to terms with my beliefs give utmost pleasure. -
Hello dabummer, the fact that your boyfriend patched up with you is a clear fact that he still loves you and treasure the relationship with you. Not showing it doesn't means he doesn't care, most people find it difficult to express what they feel to another cos it's something that everyone have to learn. Listening to another is another clear sign that they care for you and what you think actually matters to them.Originally posted by dabummer:my boy and i have been tgt for more than 2 years. broke up and patched quite a few times. i admit that last time, i took him for granted and treat him really nastily which resulted in a break up. but we patched. now i am treating him much better but he seems to be taking his revenge.
he doesnt seem to care about me anymore. i told him how i was feeling and he said that he cares and loves me but i dont feel a single bit of his care and concern!
sigh, how do guys show tht they care?
Alot of people in a relationship often ponder too much into the past and the future, which most of them times makes them neither in the past and future and very lost in the present. I used to be like that...and in fact sometimes I'm like this too. However, I'm learning to ditch the past and glance at the future but focus on the present. Cos I realised that without the present, there can never be a future. So I would implore you to ditch the past, ditch the past and ditch the past. The fact that we are referring it as the past means that it's never going to come back and we should spend our precious tick-tok time on our present. The future will still be safe and good if it is remained unknown.
Another thing I wanted to ask is....when is the last time both of you enjoyed a long hug? Hugging between couples in a relationship is very important as it eliminates distance and overrule misunderstanding. And hugging is a body action of reconcilation, closeness, compromise and unity. Why not give him a hug instead?
I would advise you to give him a hug everyday, and extending the hugging time a bit by a bit with each passing day. It may take a while for him to feel comfortable with the relationship and open up to you again. But hugging really works, I've actually tested and tried it myself. :p
So.....go give it a try for at least 2 weeks and tell me if it isn't working for you.
By the way, ignore those negative replies...it's always easier to give negative advises anyway. -
How is those negative replies?Originally posted by parn:Hello dabummer, the fact that your boyfriend patched up with you is a clear fact that he still loves you and treasure the relationship with you. Not showing it doesn't means he doesn't care, most people find it difficult to express what they feel to another cos it's something that everyone have to learn. Listening to another is another clear sign that they care for you and what you think actually matters to them.
Alot of people in a relationship often ponder too much into the past and the future, which most of them times makes them neither in the past and future and very lost in the present. I used to be like that...and in fact sometimes I'm like this too. However, I'm learning to ditch the past and glance at the future but focus on the present. Cos I realised that without the present, there can never be a future. So I would implore you to ditch the past, ditch the past and ditch the past. The fact that we are referring it as the past means that it's never going to come back and we should spend our precious tick-tok time on our present. The future will still be safe and good if it is remained unknown.
Another thing I wanted to ask is....when is the last time both of you enjoyed a long hug? Hugging between couples in a relationship is very important as it eliminates distance and overrule misunderstanding. And hugging is a body action of reconcilation, closeness, compromise and unity. Why not give him a hug instead?
I would advise you to give him a hug everyday, and extending the hugging time a bit by a bit with each passing day. It may take a while for him to feel comfortable with the relationship and open up to you again. But hugging really works, I've actually tested and tried it myself. :p
So.....go give it a try for at least 2 weeks and tell me if it isn't working for you.
By the way, ignore those negative replies...it's always easier to give negative advises anyway.
u are saying the bf is not allowed to treat her the way she did to him before?
my,u think you are everything don't u -
The fact that girls are usually the ones who easily loses out in a relationship does allow us to be the more protected gender in the world.Originally posted by boka:How is those negative replies?
u are saying the bf is not allowed to treat her the way she did to him before?
my,u think you are everything don't u
Encouragements, advises, providing an alternative solution to restore relationships is an positive act and greatly needed in the world that we lived in.
We should be helpful to those who seek our help.
Agreed? -
Cold hard facts... reality... accept any consequences... not hopes and beliefs... that is the way to go....Originally posted by parn:The fact that girls are usually the ones who easily loses out in a relationship does allow us to be the more protected gender in the world.
Encouragements, advises, providing an alternative solution to restore relationships is an positive act and greatly needed in the world that we lived in.
We should be helpful to those who seek our help.
Agreed? -
I understand the need to be encouraging but base on my personal code,it is very much against me for me to see the guy in the wrong in scenarios like this.Originally posted by parn:The fact that girls are usually the ones who easily loses out in a relationship does allow us to be the more protected gender in the world.
Encouragements, advises, providing an alternative solution to restore relationships is an positive act and greatly needed in the world that we lived in.
We should be helpful to those who seek our help.
Agreed?
While i believe in rights for one to cause hurt,pain and guilt,it must also be note that the one who commit such acts do not whine when the same acts that they have comitted are served against them. -
U can't expect it to be the same as before. He might still be suffering from whatever you've done that leads to your break up last time but as he still loves you, he choose to patch back with you.Originally posted by dabummer:no la, i dont meant sending sms for eternity. but its just tht if i dont msg him, he wont msg me? or maybe very seldom. sigh, i should be the one sigh-ing~
people say tht difficult to patch back. we patched but its nt the same anymore. blah.
Give him sometime maybe things will be back to normal once he is able to get over whatever happen between the both of you last time.
But I must tell you, its not going to be easy. And your relationship might not be the same as last time even if he has already get over everything.
Things happen and people changed.
Best of Luck !
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True, but by learning to forgive is practicing forgiveness...if we can't forgive, how can we help?Originally posted by boka:I understand the need to be encouraging but base on my personal code,it is very much against me for me to see the guy in the wrong in scenarios like this.
While i believe in rights for one to cause hurt,pain and guilt,it must also be note that the one who commit such acts do not whine when the same acts that they have comitted are served against them.
I also don't really care what will happen to myself if I truly want to help another person. What's so important about myself when I have to help myself sometimes and I can't even help others when I really want to? -
My personal code stands before everything as it present my pride and belief system.Originally posted by parn:True, but by learning to forgive is practicing forgiveness...if we can't forgive, how can we help?
I also don't really care what will happen to myself if I truly want to help another person. What's so important about myself when I have to help myself sometimes and I can't even help others when I really want to? -
How can you be so sure of your "pride" and "belief system"? The fact that you are not perfect, than man is not perfect should warn you not to live life according to such systems, no?Originally posted by boka:My personal code stands before everything as it present my pride and belief system. -
Up till now i haven done anything against my belief system.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:How can you be so sure of your "pride" and "belief system"? The fact that you are not perfect, than man is not perfect should warn you not to live life according to such systems, no?
Because Pride is a powerful tool which can hold your code in place.
Speaking of which,pride is a power tool.
Because my belief system is neutral,standing in between Good and evil since i do not see Good and evil acceptable.
They are dangerous extremes
That is why i said i accept the crimes that ppl commit nor will i comment about their deeds but they should accept it when others slap the act back in their face.