caring guys?
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They'll have to learn it the hard way,naturally.Originally posted by parn:True, but by learning to forgive is practicing forgiveness...if we can't forgive, how can we help?
I also don't really care what will happen to myself if I truly want to help another person. What's so important about myself when I have to help myself sometimes and I can't even help others when I really want to? -
What I am trying to say is why do you want to "hold your code in place"? The fact that you are human would naturally mean that you have a defective code. You might argue that while it is not 100% it is sufficient for you to cling on to it for dear life.Originally posted by boka:Up till now i haven done anything against my belief system.
Because Pride is a powerful tool which can hold your code in place.
Speaking of which,pride is a power tool.
There is another way and that is, if your code clashes with another person's code... then you compromise and come to an agreement.
I think if you have that let's compromise and come to an agreement attitude, your relationships will be better, no? -
Originally posted by boka:They'll have to learn it the hard way,naturally.
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A broken vase, no matter how strong the glue u use still will have cracks.
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compromise is good as long as it doesn' clash with one's set of code.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:What I am trying to say is why do you want to "hold your code in place"? The fact that you are human would naturally mean that you have a defective code. You might argue that while it is not 100% it is sufficient for you to cling on to it for dear life.
There is another way and that is, if your code clashes with another person's code... then you compromise and come to an agreement.
I think if you have that let's compromise and come to an agreement attitude, your relationships will be better, no?
For me i don't care about compromises.
just like how the law will not compromise with criminal,the pride in my beliefs does not allow me to go so.
Very much against what i hold my beliefs in.
The problem which the Ts have posted is very simple but she doesn't see light.
She wants her bf to treat her better and is angry at how her bf treats her now.
From her point of view,the guy is wrong but looking at this whole pciture from a neutral stance,the guy has done nothing wrong and by her complaining,she has put herself in an even poor light.
The only thing she ca do now is keep slience until the guy have enough of treating her badly.
I just see humans should follow a particular programing system like computers such that when others do the same thing which they themselve have doen to others,they will instantly feel alright and not bear any slightest emotions.
And even bearing of the slightest negative emotions is not alright because if it is so then it means u are unhappy with what that person has done which is not right to feel. -
somehow I sense that this thread will turn into another long debate.......
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If you agree that you are not perfect, then you must agree that your code is not perfect, no? So what is your justification to cling on to it so strongly if it is not a perfect code? Even if your code is perfect but if you admit that you are not perfect, then a not perfect person will mess up the perfect code, no? I just want to know how people like you think because I meet them everyday. I am all ready to compromise and come to an acceptable resolution but they simply insist that they are right and will never entertain any compromised solution.Originally posted by boka:compromise is good as long as it doesn' clash with one's set of code.
For me i don't care about compromises.
just like how the law will not compromise with criminal,the pride in my beliefs does not allow me to go so.
Very much against what i hold my beliefs in.
The problem which the Ts have posted is very simple but she doesn't see light.
She wants her bf to treat her better and is angry at how her bf treats her now.
From her point of view,the guy is wrong but looking at this whole pciture from a neutral stance,the guy has done nothing wrong and by her complaining,she has put herself in an even poor light.
The only thing she ca do now is keep slience until the guy have enough of treating her badly.
I just see humans should follow a particular programing system like computers such that when others do the same thing which they themselve have doen to others,they will instantly feel alright and not bear any slightest emotions.
If you do not want to discuss this it is OK.
Back to TS case, you are suggesting that she sits this one out until her bf gets his revenge/the revenge out of his system? How long then must she wait before she decides, he is not going to get it out of his system and it is a character flaw and there is no method to this madness? -
Now tell me,was she being questioned by her boyfriend as to how long the nasty things she did would last?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:If you agree that you are not perfect, then you must agree that your code is not perfect, no? So what is your justification to cling on to it so strongly if it is not a perfect code? Even if your code is perfect but if you admit that you are not perfect, then a not perfect person will mess up the perfect code, no? I just want to know how people like you think because I meet them everyday. I am all ready to compromise and come to an acceptable resolution but they simply insist that they are right and will never entertain any compromised solution.
If you do not want to discuss this it is OK.
Back to TS case, you are suggesting that she sits this one out until her bf gets his revenge/the revenge out of his system? How long then must she wait before she decides, he is not going to get it out of his system and it is a character flaw and there is no method to this madness?
No i presumed.
So now same goes.
She sits back on her hands and wait.
I'm not perfect but such a code is perfect.
No i never try to screw up my code because i'm someone who doesn't get involves in messy situiations such as relationships.
i remember once when i was waiting for a hearing from myskoo dm for fighting.
he said "u are hot headed and it would not b in favor when judgement is being passed but i'll leave out that hot headed thing about u so both u guys received the same punishment"
i told him "well,it's not gonna be fair for the other guy because you are cheating on justice in an attempt to put me in a better light"
He says he'll handle it.
yet even in a bad situation,i make sure i stand by my beliefs.
To me,pride is everything.
And i use for good use and to protect my code.
Hope u understand.
U know why the worldis becoming more and more ugly?corrupted and filthy to the very core.
U ever read the news or visit sites of NGO?
how many animals have gotten away with their inhuman acts of human trafficking?drugs smuggling?
All these destroy the life of that individual.
And one day i want to eradicate such criminals by following my beliefs.
Criminals strike fears into innocent but one day i want to feast on the fear of such criminal themselve,slowly corroding their soul.
The law itself have been blinded and their effort to be merciful and act to compromise have allowed such criminals to exist.
My strong ground in what i believe has make sure that i follow that same code even on a lower scale such as relationships and everyday life. -
The part in red... so you don't care about having good relationships with others... that sort of explains a lot.Originally posted by boka:Now tell me,was she being questioned by her boyfriend as to how long the nasty things she did would last?
No i presumed.
So now same goes.
She sits back on her hands and wait.
I'm not perfect but such a code is perfect.
No i never try to screw up my code because i'm someone who doesn't get involves in messy situiations such as relationships.
i remember once when i was waiting for a hearing from myskoo dm for fighting.
he said "u are hot headed and it would not b in favor when judgement is being passed but i'll leave out that hot headed thing about u so both u guys received the same punishment"
i told him "well,it's not gonna be fair for the other guy because you are cheating on justice in an attempt to put me in a better light"
He says he'll handle it.
yet even in a bad situation,i make sure i stand by my beliefs.
To me,pride is everything.
And i use for good use and to protect my code.
Hope u understand.
And the part in blue... that's what happens when you stand by a code like it is the most perfect code in the world and you are the most perfect person in the world.
Why dont you have a code that says: "I will have good relationships with people even if I break my other codes and swallow my pride?"
That is a code too.... -
U misread or perhaphs,me.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:The part in red... so you don't care about having good relationships with others... that sort of explains a lot.
And the part in blue... that's what happens when you stand by a code like it is the most perfect code in the world and you are the most perfect person in the world.
Why dont you have a code that says: "I will have good relationships with people even if I break my other codes and swallow my pride?"
That is a code too....
This relationship i refer to means your typical gal boy.
I like good relationship with people.
I have good friends but should a day come when they have done something wrong,i will be neutral as i have always been.
i will not report them nor will i hide them but if being questioned,i will speak the truth. -
So you mean when you say "MY CODE" what you meant was the legal code? If people break the Law of the Land, you will not shield them?Originally posted by boka:U misread or perhaphs,me.
This relationship i refer to means your typical gal boy.
I like good relationship with people.
I have good friends but should a day come when they have done something wrong,i will be neutral as i have always been.
i will not report them nor will i hide them but if being questioned,i will speak the truth.
If you have good friends, then I would assume that you are not so extreme as I initially thought you to be... still you are extreme enough not to be able to handle the "compromise" that must take place in every Boy/Gal relationships.
Unless you are so rich or handsome, the girl is willing to give in to you in everything.... till death... a very unlikely scenario, I think. -
So good friends would mean hiding a criminal?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:So you mean when you say "MY CODE" what you meant was the legal code? If people break the Law of the Land, you will not shield them?
If you have good friends, then I would assume that you are not so extreme as I initially thought you to be... still you are extreme enough not to be able to handle the "compromise" that must take place in every Boy/Gal relationships.
Unless you are so rich or handsome, the girl is willing to give in to you in everything.... till death... a very unlikely scenario, I think.
If my friend commit a crime,i ill not sheild him neither will i give him away unless i'm being questioned and then i will speak the truth.
however,if my friend is a victim and wrongly accused of whatever deeds then he/she can be sure of me to stand by him at all times.
I speak the truth not because i want to see them in a plight but rather i don't want to go against my moral of being truthful as possible.
Yes,so i know relationships can never be perfect thus i avoid relationship and seek to serve in the law enforcement where i can follow my code of conduct and seek pleasure from subjecting criminals to pain.
After all such beliefs system work well against criminal where i can get pleasure out of it. -
if TS dont mind, how old is both of u?
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Who is TS?
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gah, the topic is been hijacked by discussions of people pushing their opinions onto the world again.
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I beg to differ.I think the 1st breakup is the saddest. As this habit continues, you shld feel accustomed to it already and it wun hurt as much as before.Originally posted by dabummer:yea its difficult. he's making it more difficult. sigh..guys. break up patch break up patch....it hurts as the number of times increases. circle of trust. is gone.
if you feel that being together is a misery and tiring, its better to let go. you are still young( I presume). Unless you can find the happiness and the motivation to contd.
Let him know how you feel. If he stil continues this way ( lettin you feel neglected or un-loved), den time to enjoy singlehood! =) and find a better guy.
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Dabummer,
Your boyfriend has no right to treat you this way.
If he genuinely wants you back, he'd forgive you.
When you forgive someone, you don't make him/her pay back.
RIght now he's doing it to get back at you for hurting him.
Talk to him, ask him how long he is going to punish you.
If he still continues this animosity, leave the relationship.
His behaviour is emotional abuse.
There is no end to a man's revenge. -
thats so trueOriginally posted by SturmDerSchatten:gah, the topic is been hijacked by discussions of people pushing their opinions onto the world again.
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Leave the guy,i want to see the guy being off with a betetr gf than the likes of u.
till today,u only have yourself to blame in everyway because u started shyt and that shyt produce shyt.
Blame yourself.
Sg girls are really thinking us guys can be easily bullied.
Such ignorances. -
wah damn sad leh your post....Originally posted by boka:Leave the guy,i want to see the guy being off with a betetr gf than the likes of u.
till today,u only have yourself to blame in everyway because u started shyt and that shyt produce shyt.
Blame yourself.
Sg girls are really thinking us guys can be easily bullied.
Such ignorances.
must have kena some big shyt before....
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1 wrong + 1 wrong is not = right. -
Pot calling the kettle black when people write in this forum to accuse others of publishing their opinions and I guess when THEY write in a public forum their opinions remain hidden in their closet at home. Maybe they think that theirs is not an opinion but a silly observation only because they cannot see how it is related to the topic? AND they can write things not related to the thread (accusing other people) because they are more equal than others?
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TS, don't think too much about the past, try to be together as much as possible, communicate everything to him about your work/sch/family to him.put all the nasty past behind your back and since u guys have patched up,look forward and not backwards.Originally posted by dabummer:my boy and i have been tgt for more than 2 years. broke up and patched quite a few times. i admit that last time, i took him for granted and treat him really nastily which resulted in a break up. but we patched. now i am treating him much better but he seems to be taking his revenge.
he doesnt seem to care about me anymore. i told him how i was feeling and he said that he cares and loves me but i dont feel a single bit of his care and concern!
sigh, how do guys show tht they care?
i think the reason of you not knowing that he is loving and caring is becoz your thinking of revenge is greater and the current one.take it easy.
Terence -
Nothing of that sortOriginally posted by RonDaGuy:wah damn sad leh your post....
must have kena some big shyt before....