Should I gave up?
-
agree with wat rainee said... u nid to change ur mind set first... from wat we see, u are being together wif her because u hav no choice and not because u realli love her...
but then abt wat andrew said... everyone hav thier own expectation in a RS.. guardx mayb more conservative whereas u r more open... but no meaning of offence.. u said ur wife will be goin oversea wif colleagues and she ask u to go wif her.. it means tat she wanted ur company and not jus ask u to go there and play... so u cant jus force ur own thinkin onto guardx...Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:How you noe she will "be dancing with different strangers everytime she chiong"?
Not go to bed wat!, even if true, just dancing wat... so kan jiong for wat?!!!!!
I won't mind my wife dancing with strangers one... I don't even think about it.
September she is going overseas with colleagues and ask me to go... I said, "You have colleagues to accompany you, I go for what?!!!!! Not like I never go that place... I go until sainz already..."
If overseas she and colleagues go dancing and she dance with strangers... so what?
But it is your life and your decision lor... nobody can live your life for you... -
and u think that's good......sad t say that's why ur in this plightOriginally posted by Guardx:After putting so much effort on one gal, you feel that is not worth the effort.
Really envy my friends who play the field.
Only they can hurt people and not be hurt by others.
please dun follow or envy ur friends, ur just proving that ur a dog by following them & with regards to ur friends......
every dog has its day & teirs will come eventually
-
Degrading ? We made a promise to stop it and she broke it. Betrayal more like it. How do you define real love? You were not there to see how much effort I have place in this relationship. If your love one is out dancing with some stranger and they may have a chance to take advantage of the person do you still mind? Saying get rid of this mindset first and foremost is very easy, anyone can do it but doing it is not so easy.Originally posted by rainee:This sounds really familiar...
But seriously, I think you degrade your own gf just by saying the last sentence. What do you mean by if you are more goodlooking you will not look at her at all? Are you just "settling" with her? As in, cannot find fish, prawn also good that kind?
Please let her go if that's the case. Because you are with her not because you really love her, you are just afraid you will be alone and lonely. Before you can even put in efforts to salvage the rs, you need to get rid of this mindset first and foremost. -
True, I was not there to see all the efforts you have put in.Originally posted by Guardx:Degrading ? We made a promise to stop it and she broke it. Betrayal more like it. How do you define real love? You were not there to see how much effort I have place in this relationship. If your love one is out dancing with some stranger and they may have a chance to take advantage of the person do you still mind? Saying get rid of this mindset first and foremost is very easy, anyone can do it but doing it is not so easy.
But seriously, this mindset won't do while you are with her. It is like, in your heart, you are treating her like a second best.
If it is such a torture to be with her, why are you still in this rs? -
maybe I love my gf thats why I mind but I am not sure for you. Maybe is your wife thats why you do not mind or maybe something else ba.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:How you noe she will "be dancing with different strangers everytime she chiong"?
Not go to bed wat!, even if true, just dancing wat... so kan jiong for wat?!!!!!
I won't mind my wife dancing with strangers one... I don't even think about it.
September she is going overseas with colleagues and ask me to go... I said, "You have colleagues to accompany you, I go for what?!!!!! Not like I never go that place... I go until sainz already..."
If overseas she and colleagues go dancing and she dance with strangers... so what?
But it is your life and your decision lor... nobody can live your life for you...
Can anyone here really do not mind if their bf or gf went dancing with strangers? How much do you really love the person anyway? -
I never force anybody lah... I said, "But it is your life and your decision lor... nobody can live your life for you..." I was simply pointing put to him not everyone thinks like him... I was afraid that he thinks that everyone thinks like him.Originally posted by xiao_tou:but then abt wat andrew said... everyone hav thier own expectation in a RS.. guardx mayb more conservative whereas u r more open... but no meaning of offence.. u said ur wife will be goin oversea wif colleagues and she ask u to go wif her.. it means tat she wanted ur company and not jus ask u to go there and play... so u cant jus force ur own thinkin onto guardx... -
What does earning less seems to be a problem unless you are living off her...Originally posted by Guardx:Looking at a relationship with a history of 3 years. I am earning less than her and wish I could earn more. Tried very hard but still no chance. She always do what she wants without thinking about both of us. Go chionging without telling and does not care about my feelings. Request for her to change her ways but she refuse saying that she will follow her friends. Always listerning and giving in to her makes me no better than a dog. Sadly I am not that handsome enough to change to another gal so quickly. Sianz..
I think that she does not even give a damn about the relationship between you guys. I think you should just left her to her amazing life and seek life elsewhere.
I don't see the getting a new gf fast would solve any problem. To a person who do not care about you, you think she would give a damn about you getting a girlfriend after you broke off? -
Why don't you seriously participate in this thread: Misconceptions of LoveOriginally posted by Guardx:maybe I love my gf thats why I mind but I am not sure for you. Maybe is your wife thats why you do not mind or maybe something else ba.
Can anyone here really do not mind if their bf or gf went dancing with strangers? How much do you really love the person anyway?
and see if you have a conception/mis of love.... -
Rainee, I do not know you, but if you are not pretty or beautiful is not easy to find a bf. The same rule applies to me too. Thats why I put in so much effort to make the relationship last but it seems to be all my effort.Originally posted by rainee:True, I was not there to see all the efforts you have put in.
But seriously, this mindset won't do while you are with her. It is like, in your heart, you are treating her like a second best.
If it is such a torture to be with her, why are you still in this rs?
As compare a handsome guy need only look at the girl and the girl will fall in love with him asap. She will do whatever he asked.
A average guy like me have to put in so much effort to chase a girl and much much more to keep a relationship together. -
base on the red comments you made,Originally posted by Guardx:Age: just reach 30.
1) Yes but seems to fade with her actions
2) Used to but now.............
3) If I am that good I will not even look at her at all. No point lieing about the fact, I faced the truth. Is not easy being a average guy.
Let her go. She deserves BETTER! -
hmmmm maybe I like that w/o knowing it.... hmmmmm I must think about that... when I was young hor (now fat and ugly) I beri good looking one hor....Originally posted by Guardx:Rainee, I do not know you, but if you are not pretty or beautiful is not easy to find a bf. The same rule applies to me too. Thats why I put in so much effort to make the relationship last but it seems to be all my effort.
As compare a handsome guy need only look at the girl and the girl will fall in love with him asap. She will do whatever he asked.
A average guy like me have to put in so much effort to chase a girl and much much more to keep a relationship together.
pai seh to post my pic, so only give link:
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:h0zZjSHAQts-2M:http://authorsden.com/authorsheadshot/47187.jpg
hmmmmm maybe my advice in BGR not very accurate one... must think about that... -
Thats always how girls feel when they read about this, is so easy to side the girl and say she deserve better.Originally posted by smudgey:base on the red comments you made,
Let her go. She deserves BETTER! -
You are starting to sound like one of my friends I am starting to wonder if you are his clone...Originally posted by Guardx:Rainee, I do not know you, but if you are not pretty or beautiful is not easy to find a bf. The same rule applies to me too. Thats why I put in so much effort to make the relationship last but it seems to be all my effort.
As compare a handsome guy need only look at the girl and the girl will fall in love with him asap. She will do whatever he asked.
A average guy like me have to put in so much effort to chase a girl and much much more to keep a relationship together.
And no, girls do not fall in love asap just because a guy is good looking. Love doesn't come that easily. My bf and I are both average looking people, but I am very much in love with him.
It does not have so much to do with your looks but rather your personality and your attitude towards love
-
But it is true wat... if I the girl I also fed up... I also want people to be my bf/gf because they think the world of me.... not becos they think they cannot get anione else... OMG!Originally posted by Guardx:Thats always how girls feel when they read about this, is so easy to side the girl and say she deserve better. -
But Good looking guys is one of the conditions girls look for.Originally posted by rainee:You are starting to sound like one of my friends I am starting to wonder if you are his clone...
And no, girls do not fall in love asap just because a guy is good looking. Love doesn't come that easily. My bf and I are both average looking people, but I am very much in love with him.
It does not have so much to do with your looks but rather your personality and your attitude towards love -
and so does the guys right when it comes to choosing a GFOriginally posted by seotiblizzard:But Good looking guys is one of the conditions girls look for. -
Hmm maybe I am weird, but I am more interested in the personality of the guyOriginally posted by seotiblizzard:But Good looking guys is one of the conditions girls look for.
If the guy has a good personality, over the time, his looks will automatically grow on me
-
Stop saying I am a clone. Just wish to share how I feel thats all. What is so hard to understand about that? Is easy for you as you love your bf very much, but if after 3 years later he goes out dancing with his friends and meets up with other strange girls behind your back? How would your so call love feel? Give him up?Originally posted by rainee:You are starting to sound like one of my friends I am starting to wonder if you are his clone...
And no, girls do not fall in love asap just because a guy is good looking. Love doesn't come that easily. My bf and I are both average looking people, but I am very much in love with him.
It does not have so much to do with your looks but rather your personality and your attitude towards love -
yes totally agree but what if you are not ?Originally posted by seotiblizzard:But Good looking guys is one of the conditions girls look for.
how long will it take for you to find that someone? -
Lol beautiful girls are not meant for us average guys to keep. Be thankful you got to have sex with her a few times. Tricks, underhand methods, and even money can only keep a girl occupied for so long. Unless you are filthy rich.Originally posted by Guardx:Rainee, I do not know you, but if you are not pretty or beautiful is not easy to find a bf. The same rule applies to me too. Thats why I put in so much effort to make the relationship last but it seems to be all my effort.
As compare a handsome guy need only look at the girl and the girl will fall in love with him asap. She will do whatever he asked.
A average guy like me have to put in so much effort to chase a girl and much much more to keep a relationship together. -
Too much angst, self-esteem issues, insecurity coming from TS to really know what the problem is.
Are you simply unhappy that she continues to go clubbing despite you telling her to give it up?
Have you ever considered that even if married to you, a woman has the right to pursue her hobbies , whether it's diving or dancing? Do you have proof that when she goes out to club without you, she gets intimate with other men? Does she get drunk to the point that she loses all inhibitions and consciousness? Or does she dance with her girlfriends?
IMO agree on a compromise - e.g. go only once a week, no hanky panky with men, no excessive drinking. Threaten to break up if she cannot keep to a compromise. And really break up if she refuses. No point hanging on to someone who makes you so miserable. -
AGREE!!!!!Originally posted by choco B:Too much angst, self-esteem issues, insecurity coming from TS to really know what the problem is.
Are you simply unhappy that she continues to go clubbing despite you telling her to give it up?
Have you ever considered that even if married to you, a woman has the right to pursue her hobbies , whether it's diving or dancing? Do you have proof that when she goes out to club without, she gets intimate with other men? Or does she dance with her girlfriends?
IMO agree on a compromise - e.g. go only once a week, no hanky panky with men. Threaten to break up if she cannot keep to a compromise. And really break up if she refuses. No point hanging on to someone who makes you so miserable. -
do not worry on how u look, how much u earn....blah blah blah. What is your will eventually be yours.Originally posted by Guardx:Stop saying I am a clone. Just wish to share how I feel thats all. What is so hard to understand about that? Is easy for you as you love your bf very much, but if after 3 years later he goes out dancing with his friends and meets up with other strange girls behind your back? How would your so call love feel? Give him up?
I ask that you leave her & its for your own good, trust me & u wanna know why?
Simple, how old is she? definately not 30 yet since ur about to reach 30. When she inches closer towards 30, she'll probably wanna settle down....and by then or even earlier, she may be the one dumping you, sad case right but it'll happen.
Since you feel that ur not good looking, try not to focus on finding a partner....just concentrate on other things, maybe upgrading ur education and when you least expect, someone may admire you on your other attributes rather than looks & fall for you.
Good luck & please do not get angry with her for doing this, have a nice talk with her & make a clean break, still can be friends if you don't mind 
-
u?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:hmmmm maybe I like that w/o knowing it.... hmmmmm I must think about that... when I was young hor (now fat and ugly) I beri good looking one hor....
pai seh to post my pic, so only give link:
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:h0zZjSHAQts-2M:http://authorsden.com/authorsheadshot/47187.jpg
hmmmmm maybe my advice in BGR not very accurate one... must think about that... -
Having a girlfriend does not make you a better person.
Being single does not make you a worse person.
Your problem is that you value yourself by the woman you have, which puts you in difficult situations where you feel you are helpless - break also cannot, don't break also unhappy. In a way you've created your own confusion .Originally posted by Guardx:yes totally agree but what if you are not ?
how long will it take for you to find that someone?
