Should I gave up?
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How can you compare your rs to TS's one? His is lop-sided...average guy with a beautiful girl. I think the girl will dump him soon. His post has all the warning signs of an iminent dump.Originally posted by rainee:You are starting to sound like one of my friends I am starting to wonder if you are his clone...
And no, girls do not fall in love asap just because a guy is good looking. Love doesn't come that easily. My bf and I are both average looking people, but I am very much in love with him.
It does not have so much to do with your looks but rather your personality and your attitude towards love
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Yeah maybe.Originally posted by Stoat:How can you compare your rs to TS's one? His is lop-sided...average guy with a beautiful girl. I think the girl will dump him soon. His post has all the warning signs of an iminent dump. -
Woah! cannot discount this possibility hor... maybe she did all those things on purpose so that he will make the first move and then she goes... "OK lor, if that is what you want" and he is the pai lang!Originally posted by Stoat:How can you compare your rs to TS's one? His is lop-sided...average guy with a beautiful girl. I think the girl will dump him soon. His post has all the warning signs of an iminent dump.
TS please don't anihow anihow guess based on other people's imagination hor... life is complicated enough... better go with the evidence... always... -
I seem to have heard tat phrase said to mi ALOT in the past!!! Learn to let go when u're not wanted.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Woah! cannot discount this possibility hor... maybe she did all those things on purpose so that he will make the first move and then she goes... "OK lor, if that is what you want" and he is the pai lang!
TS please don't anihow anihow guess based on other people's imagination hor... life is complicated enough... better go with the evidence... always...
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*pat pat*Originally posted by Stoat:I seem to have heard tat phrase said to mi ALOT in the past!!! Learn to let go when u're not wanted. -
Just out of humour
I'd rather die on my feet than to live on my knees -
it's not about siding a gal. if you were a gal and you said the same thing that you will not choose her if you were prettier, then i would also say "let HIM go. HE deserves BETTER"Originally posted by Guardx:Thats always how girls feel when they read about this, is so easy to side the girl and say she deserve better.
point being: that's not love that you are feeling. it's DESPERATION! If I were your gf, and i read that post of yours, I WOULD BREAK UP WITH YOU THAT VERY MINUTE!
We all may not be perfect, but to stay with a person knowing that given the choice, he will not want me, that shows alot of his ugly CHARACTER!
Never enter a relationship hoping to change the other party. -
Yes after reading through all the posts, I think you are right. Some girls do this sort of things so the boyfriend will look like the bad guy. It's not a joke.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Woah! cannot discount this possibility hor... maybe she did all those things on purpose so that he will make the first move and then she goes... "OK lor, if that is what you want" and he is the pai lang!
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TS, Im not saying she's that sort of person and I hope she isn't. Be happy with yourself. Your girlfriend is not there to make you happy. At the end of the day, if things don't work out, forget it.
doko -
nowadays gals are more practical base... they wil consider abt their future and wat they want in the future when they reach a certain age... etc. the type of life they wanted to live in, house, cars and many more...
so i think wat de_middle said is right, abt u to go and pursue a higher education if u wanted to get better paid job than her...
if u dun hav looks den u might wan to buck up in ur other aspects... gals doesnt find a bf jus becos of looks... so wat if u are handsome when u are pennyless... upgrade urself in different aspect and gain confidence as from those post u made u seem veri veri unconfident in urself.. -
thank uOriginally posted by xiao_tou:nowadays gals are more practical base... they wil consider abt their future and wat they want in the future when they reach a certain age... etc. the type of life they wanted to live in, house, cars and many more...
so i think wat de_middle said is right, abt u to go and pursue a higher education if u wanted to get better paid job than her...
if u dun hav looks den u might wan to buck up in ur other aspects... gals doesnt find a bf jus becos of looks... so wat if u are handsome when u are pennyless... upgrade urself in different aspect and gain confidence as from those post u made u seem veri veri unconfident in urself..
i hope TS don't keeping looking down on himself. Yup looks can come in handy in the beginning but i believe girls get smarter as they grow older.
So even if u have the brawn but no brains, u'll end up being dumped not unless ur a money tree with no brains & allow urself to be sponged continuously.
So TS, u got lots to catch up on.....go for night classes.....plenty of opportunities when u meet people from different industries.....u never know & might find ur lifetime partner in there -
exactly.Originally posted by de_middle:thank u i hope TS don't keeping looking down on himself. Yup looks can come in handy in the beginning but i believe girls get smarter as they grow older.
So even if u have the brawn but no brains, u'll end up being dumped not unless ur a money tree with no brains & allow urself to be sponged continuously.
So TS, u got lots to catch up on.....go for night classes.....plenty of opportunities when u meet people from different industries.....u never know & might find ur lifetime partner in there -
hmmm... "shoud I gave up?" is not TS's real problem...
Think there is further root cause on TS's problem - Real Root Cause...
From analysis, I feel that TS contains 2 feelings (hatred and love)
1) Love towards his gf
2) Hatred for the pain caused by his gf
hmmm... in general, if TS does not have the hatred, I feel that TS is a very good life companionship... HAHA... at least, better than me ><
2) Hatred for the pain caused by his gf
what is TS probably thinking?
1) TS is probably the guy that wants to settle down soon...
2) TS thinks that his looks and age may cause problems settling down early
what caused the hatred?
1) gf do not seems to understand him and delay his problem.
2) A pact made by him and his gf broken.
3) gf's actions caused daily torture to him.
4) gf ignore his feelings when he say
hmmmm... think this is how TS feel.... TS... if I do put words in yr mouth, do ignore me or PM me.. I will change it... That is y the hatred component resulted him to feel regreted.
Probably, TS have to think about few issues :
1) Can TS change his perception for his gf?
2) What does TS really want in life?
3) How much more can TS sacrifice ?
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TS has to get his feelings correct and then have a serious talk to his gf... -
I think you have got serious problem with your self esteem so I am trying to tell you to look into that instead of putting the blame solely on how your gf treat you.Originally posted by Guardx:Stop saying I am a clone. Just wish to share how I feel thats all. What is so hard to understand about that? Is easy for you as you love your bf very much, but if after 3 years later he goes out dancing with his friends and meets up with other strange girls behind your back? How would your so call love feel? Give him up?
If I were in your situation, I would talk wif my bf, and we will come to a compromise. So try to do that with your gf, if she is unwilling to even consider a compromise, then maybe she shouldn't be in a rs in the first place
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Originally posted by Guardx:Looking at a relationship with a history of 3 years. I am earning less than her and wish I could earn more. Tried very hard but still no chance. She always do what she wants without thinking about both of us. Go chionging without telling and does not care about my feelings. Request for her to change her ways but she refuse saying that she will follow her friends. Always listerning and giving in to her makes me no better than a dog. Sadly I am not that handsome enough to change to another gal so quickly. Sianz..
Your situation transpired one single truth - that no relationship is able to sustain itself based on one person's effort, regardless of how much perseverance or tolerance one has stored in his/her guts.
Your post revealed a man, growing emotionally tired of indulging in a one player game. However, though you probably felt trapped, simultaneously, you felt that wasn't any other perceived alternatives without having to compromise on your current status quo.
Your writing reeked of envy to people who seemed to score better in the looks department. It seemed to me that you might subconsciously hoped to find someone else to alleviate your misery, so that you could safety leap ship and resume your journey in love. But in comparison to loneliness - you rather choose to remain with a known evil than an unknown future of single hood.
So much insecurity that it really makes me wonders if you are in a relationship for love or mere companionship.
You are what you think you are - if you think you are humdrum and average, then it will manifest into reality for you.
Love thrives best when led with moderation - it's not about how good you are or how much money you splurge on her. In fact to me, your 'goodness' is seemed to be due to your belief that you have to work twice as hard to compensate your lack of looks.
It may not be intrinsically part of your personality to do so.
Love might be the driving force behind it. But who knows? It might actually be fear.
Cheers -
Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:Again how old are you? XD (Yunhaier asked us to state our age group, rite? )
oh ya, few questions to be answered by yourself
1. Do you love her?
2. Are you happy with this relationship with her?
3. If you are Godly handsome, Mr. Universerve and Popular, would you leave her for someone better and prettier?
If .your answer to ques no.2 is not really, and no.3 is Yes, it's time to reconsider the whole relationship. Huh?
Siao... since when?
Cheers -
Read a number of posts by AndrewPKYap,Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:hmmmm maybe I like that w/o knowing it.... hmmmmm I must think about that... when I was young hor (now fat and ugly) I beri good looking one hor....
pai seh to post my pic, so only give link:
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:h0zZjSHAQts-2M:http://authorsden.com/authorsheadshot/47187.jpg
hmmmmm maybe my advice in BGR not very accurate one... must think about that...
this time, even saw his photo.
Interesting forum writer with many comments in many posts. Wonder where he finds the time to think of so much comments? He is not the only one, there are many like him in this forum. Recently, then I started to use and participate alittle here.
Excuse me, fellow writers, why don't you not only blog but put words into actions. Don't just ask for advice and discuss strategies in "paper" form only. Walk the talk.
Use the time to apply, not only sit in front of monitor without facing the situation in real life. I also want to face the truth. -
Guildlines in Aunt Agony no. XII.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Huh?
Siao... since when?
Cheers Maybe edited by Pika? -
x2 yunhaier always has a way to put across thoughts in a more formal n nice wayOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Your situation transpired one single truth - that no relationship is able to sustain itself based on one person's effort, regardless of how much perseverance or tolerance one has stored in his/her guts.
Your post revealed a man, growing emotionally tired of indulging in a one player game. However, though you probably felt trapped, simultaneously, you felt that wasn't any other perceived alternatives without having to compromise on your current status quo.
Your writing reeked of envy to people who seemed to score better in the looks department. It seemed to me that you might subconsciously hoped to find someone else to alleviate your misery, so that you could safety leap ship and resume your journey in love. But in comparison to loneliness - you rather choose to remain with a known evil than an unknown future of single hood.
So much insecurity that it really makes me wonders if you are in a relationship for love or mere companionship.
You are what you think you are - if you think you are humdrum and average, then it will manifest into reality for you.
Love thrives best when led with moderation - it's not about how good you are or how much money you splurge on her. In fact to me, your 'goodness' is seemed to be due to your belief that you have to work twice as hard to compensate your lack of looks.
It may not be intrinsically part of your personality to do so.
Love might be the driving force behind it. But who knows? It might actually be fear.
Cheers
anyways TS, i think for a 30 year old, ur thinking on relationships is still abit conserved to arnd ur teenage years...where most girls onli look for handsome guys n stuff...im not sayin that as we grow older, ppl dun look for those in a guy, but the number gets lesser as ppl get more mature...thats when ppl tend to look past plain looks onli n go for character...
i believe u might think, its easier said than done, afterall, the first things that a persons sees is ur looks...but then again, is ur looks reali what they r looking for in a life partner?not all girls need an armani suit to show off...Can anyone here really do not mind if their bf or gf went dancing with strangers? How much do you really love the person anyway?
yep i wun mind...i love her alot...not that i wun b worried, ill try to go with her if possible of course...the thing is before i got into a r/s with her, i knew she was an outgoing type of girl...i believe ur girl is also like that...these girls r like bird, love the freedom n mizing arnd...the thing is wasnt she like that before u two got together?u shld haf known that she wuld love the freedom of going arnd...as much as u might hate it, she deserves the right to live her life her way...u cant change her juz coz u dun like it...she doesnt like to b changed as well, can u change ur thinking for her?
im not saying that onli ur in the wrong...she might b actuali ignoring ur feelings or not understanding them well...but in actual fact, how much do u understand her?u say u keep putting in alot of effort...effort doesnt equate to understanding her...it doesnt equate to loving her alot as well..it juz means u knw what ur suppose to do...its following ur mind, not ur heart...
on seeing all ur comments, i feel that u dun love her at all...u think juz putting in the effort is loving her?btw, u blame her for not fulfilling the promising of ending it...if u din accept her to b tgt again, whats there for her to go back to?
aiyz but then again...who m i to judge abt u guys n maturity...im not even 20 but i do knw one thing...if u dun love her, dun b with her... -
wah, I am honored that you took a "personal" interest in me...Originally posted by Ms Poh:Read a number of posts by AndrewPKYap,
this time, even saw his photo.
Interesting forum writer with many comments in many posts. Wonder where he finds the time to think of so much comments? He is not the only one, there are many like him in this forum. Recently, then I started to use and participate alittle here.
Excuse me, fellow writers, why don't you not only blog but put words into actions. Don't just ask for advice and discuss strategies in "paper" form only. Walk the talk.
Use the time to apply, not only sit in front of monitor without facing the situation in real life. I also want to face the truth.
hahahaha all things considered, I think I should "ask for advice and discuss strategies in "paper" form only".
Sure I can, walk the talk and for example "wear green" this weekend but I will not because while I support the live earth project, I cannot support anything started by the "establishment" in Singapore because they disallow people to, for example, organize a "wear a black arm band to show your disgust with the ministerial pay rise".
They only want you to walk the talk for things they approve of.
I wore black in Bangkok when there was a call there after the boxing day tsunami to wear black.
I registered as a member of GreenPeace, also in Bangkok, but GreenPeace is frowned upon by the authorities here. (hmmmm maybe I should put up in my website emails from GreenPeace Bangkok, but it is in Thai, lol)
Why in Bangkok? Because when people are not happy with the establishment, they are allowed to "walk the talk", (same in Hong Kong... see: Songbirds in Hong Kong, Jailbirds in Singapore) but here in Singapore?
It is very hard to walk the talk in Singapore because you are suppose to walk along the path set out for you by those "$*^**%*!".... I rather not walk... not in Singapore anyway.
Ergo, to me. the best way remaining is to write... but who knows, maybe I will one day prefer to go to jail for no reason other than to prove a point, (like somebody we all know, hated by many Singaporeans), maybe, one day....
In Singapore not many approve this type of attitude.
In the meantime, I am enjoying my life to the max...
(Better don't write too much in case people accuse me of hijacking threads again... ) -
One question, TS, tell me about the beginning of the relationship.Originally posted by Guardx:Yeah maybe.
How did you manage to chase her? How did she treat you at first after going steady? I believe something is wrong in the beginning.
doko -
whats the point if you earn more than her?what did she do w/o thinking?clubbing?if you don like her to club,then go with her or fetch her hme after club lor,i believe she needs a life and so are you too,be thoughtful.grown ups don usually like to 'report' their where abouts,call her more often to communicate then she will naturally tell you.Originally posted by Guardx:Looking at a relationship with a history of 3 years. I am earning less than her and wish I could earn more. Tried very hard but still no chance. She always do what she wants without thinking about both of us. Go chionging without telling and does not care about my feelings. Request for her to change her ways but she refuse saying that she will follow her friends. Always listerning and giving in to her makes me no better than a dog. Sadly I am not that handsome enough to change to another gal so quickly. Sianz..
be contented to have a gf since you say u r not handsome,there are many others out there who don din have any gf.if you think you are a dog listening to her,then i think you don love her or you already tired of this r/s.go and think about it wor~~~~~
Terence -
Unless TS "finds himself" all advice will fall on "deaf ears"
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Finding himself is one thing. But I believe he is a nice guy and it's not his fault alone. Yup he got the wrong girl. He wishes his efforts will be reciprocated.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Unless TS "finds himself" all advice will fall on "deaf ears"
doko -
nice guys finish last?Originally posted by dokono:Finding himself is one thing. But I believe he is a nice guy and it's not his fault alone. Yup he got the wrong girl. He wishes his efforts will be reciprocated.
doko
