trying to understand my bf
-
maybe she got a thing for your bf leh?
or she's trying to catch people's attention. -
ur bf might have known the girl to be this kind of person therefore trying to avoid a direct confrontation..
the best method for such person is to ignore her. when she kept babbling, just turn ard and say.."u still talking ar" -
Galfriend,
That girl who say negative things to you.
SHE is your bf's friend's girlfriend.
IF he stand up for you, that girl will complain to her boyfriend ( who is your bf's friend).
Then your bf's friend must stand up for his own gf ( who is that girl who hurt your feeling).
Then THERE WILL BE A DISPUTE, between your bf and his friend. Getit ???
NOW, your bf is trying to avoid a dispute... OVER GIRLS.....
You must understand... in the circle of men. Nobody wants to be seen as a pus sy licker. GETIT ??? -
actually ur bf already know she is like tat n making a big scene will not help right.....
-
lady, im sorry to inform you , your boyfriend is a whiner and a wuss, he can complain and complain but when it comes to the real deal , he aint there for you.Originally posted by galfriend:but what puzzled me most was, my bf, who is very protective over his friends and family, just said "no lah, you are not wat she said. ignore her"
not that im expectin my bf to scold her or wat, but i juz cant understand why he, who is always so protective of everyone around him, reacted that way when someone bully me
to note that he always stand up for justice, and ever 'chu tou' for one of my friends when another person's gf bullied her. why as a gf, i become at the disadvantaged end?
Most guys will just ignore but since your description of him as so protective, either there is a double standard or he is definitely a wuss.
to note that he always stand up for justice, and ever 'chu tou' for one of my friends when another person's gf bullied her
read it for yourself, why friends are more important than you?
get a guy with a real backbone or at least back up on how he normally acts. -
[quote]Originally posted by jojobeach:
Galfriend,
That girl who say negative things to you.
SHE is your bf's friend's girlfriend.
IF he stand up for you, that girl will complain to her boyfriend ( who is your bf's friend).
Then your bf's friend must stand up for his own gf ( who is that girl who hurt your feeling).
Then THERE WILL BE A DISPUTE, between your bf and his friend. Getit ???
NOW, your bf is trying to avoid a dispute... OVER GIRLS.....
You must understand... in the circle of men. Nobody wants to be seen as a pus sy licker. GETIT ???
[/quote]
what is wrong with standing up for your gf?Bear in mind she might be his potential wife in the future, if he cant show he can stand up for her now what kind of assurance that she can get he will protect her in the future,
from reading the ts previous threads about her boyfriend its very obvious that the ts bf is a person who "cares" so much about his friends
maybe in this case to the extent he dont want to harm his friendship and ask his gf to endure? That is ridiculous, totally utterly bullshit.
He is contradicting his own behaviour and pattern when it comes to his gf, that means he put friends above her, the ts bf seems to need validation from his friends, he is insecure in many ways and ts seems to be a strong character by herself. This is a relationship that have many problems in the future, im guessing both parties do not really deeply love each other enough yet or may not even reach that level that the TS hope for in an enduring relationship
A partnership or marriage is a team and a team effort and each parties should put his/her body in the line of fire when the other party is being attacked rather than just say
"ignore it"
if he can ignore this, what other things he can ignore? Bigger issues might pop up and he might say ignore it?
Personally i think he is a wuss, even the lamest weakest guy in specs(ala peter parker in his alter ego) would find the courage and the power to stand up for his loved ones rather than see her being render to tears.
I wonder how can he stand it? -
what is wrong with standing up for your gf?Bear in mind she might be his potential wife in the future, if he cant show he can stand up for her now what kind of assurance that she can get he will protect her in the future,Originally posted by indonboyz:[quote]Originally posted by jojobeach:
[b]Galfriend,
That girl who say negative things to you.
SHE is your bf's friend's girlfriend.
IF he stand up for you, that girl will complain to her boyfriend ( who is your bf's friend).
Then your bf's friend must stand up for his own gf ( who is that girl who hurt your feeling).
Then THERE WILL BE A DISPUTE, between your bf and his friend. Getit ???
NOW, your bf is trying to avoid a dispute... OVER GIRLS.....
You must understand... in the circle of men. Nobody wants to be seen as a pus sy licker. GETIT ???
from reading the ts previous threads about her boyfriend its very obvious that the ts bf is a person who "cares" so much about his friends
maybe in this case to the extent he dont want to harm his friendship and ask his gf to endure? That is ridiculous, totally utterly bullshit.
He is contradicting his own behaviour and pattern when it comes to his gf, that means he put friends above her, the ts bf seems to need validation from his friends, he is insecure in many ways and ts seems to be a strong character by herself. This is a relationship that have many problems in the future, im guessing both parties do not really deeply love each other enough yet or may not even reach that level that the TS hope for in an enduring relationship
A partnership or marriage is a team and a team effort and each parties should put his/her body in the line of fire when the other party is being attacked rather than just say
"ignore it"
if he can ignore this, what other things he can ignore? Bigger issues might pop up and he might say ignore it?
Personally i think he is a wuss, even the lamest weakest guy in specs(ala peter parker in his alter ego) would find the courage and the power to stand up for his loved ones rather than see her being render to tears.
I wonder how can he stand it?
[/b][/quote]
Umm Indonboyz,
May I remind you that this is between two woman.
Yes I agree that the bf is a wuss IF it was a GUY who harrassed her.
Lemme ask you , if one day your girlfriend and your mother have a fight... who will you side ? -
The things that she said to you must be very hurtful isnt it? How can your boyfriend endure this insults? He could just take you away or stand in the line of fire and confront her and say to her " i think you had enough for tonight" or "stop your nonsense or i bitch slap you and your boyfriendOriginally posted by galfriend:ya i tried to be. but what she did was so hurtful that i cried my heart out. my eyes are still swollen now 
"
Whatever he should have said or do something or at least take you away.By keeping quiet and watching her or in this case IGNORING her making you cry is simply something alarming and worrying.
This is good , this will make you realise he is not your knight in shining armor and he will not be the type of guy who will stand up for you despite doing that ALL the time for his FRIENDS.
For him friends are numero uno. however if you are comfortable with this thoughts of him being like this forever, you can however endure and maybe see this out.
But this is not your alpha male, he is not simply strong enough for you
Realise that. Its your choice. -
thats easy,Originally posted by jojobeach:Umm Indonboyz,
May I remind you that this is between two woman.
Yes I agree that the bf is a wuss IF it was a GUY who harrassed her.
Lemme ask you , if one day your girlfriend and your mother have a fight... who will you side ?
depends on who is right or wrong
the ts did not start it, she came picking on her
my point is the bf chose to ignore it despite all his acts of chivalry for his friends. did you read her thread properly?
how would you feel if your bf is like that? he is a pussy.
when your wife parents entrusted her to you in a marriage, you are EXPECTED to take care of her and protect her.
If my mother is unreasonable and my gf is being harrassed like the ts case,
my galfriend. -
how do you derive that he is a man of principles when ts states that he stands for his friends sister worry for them even whine to her about them and in this case just let her be?Originally posted by ispyyy:lol... then wat do u expect yr bf to do ??? ><
btw, he is not being protective over friend
He is just a man of principles...
Although, this type of man do not noe how to please a person, but at least, he is truthful to people...
Care to share how you manage to reach that reasoning? -
Where you there when it happened ?Originally posted by indonboyz:thats easy,
depends on who is right or wrong
the ts did not start it, she came picking on her
my point is the bf chose to ignore it despite all his acts of chivalry for his friends. did you read her thread properly?
how would you feel if your bf is like that? he is a pussy.
when your wife parents entrusted her to you in a marriage, you are EXPECTED to take care of her and protect her.
If my mother is unreasonable and my gf is being harrassed like the ts case,
my galfriend.
How do you know it wasn't something TS said that triggered that kind of psychotic behaviour ?
Sorry, my boyfriend don't need to stand up for me. I will biatch back at that woman myself, if I know I am right.
The most her bf can do is talk to his friend who owns the psycho.
By the way, TS never says that her bf was there when it happened.
So you would side with your galfriend over you mom ?
If both your mom and girlfriend are right leh ?
Sometimes it is a mere difference in perception.
They each have their own reason for doing what they do.
How can you resolve it ?
Do you want to further create more animosity among two warring females ?
You'd be stuck between a rock and a VERY hard place.. I guarantee that. -
Your are confused, standing up for your gf is not seen as a pussy licker, he is just being her bf, looking over her and protecting her when its needed or even when its not needed, all woman wanted to be protected and look after , that is why sometimes some woman get excited and moved(even though they dont admit it) when men fight over them.Originally posted by jojobeach:Galfriend,
You must understand... in the circle of men. Nobody wants to be seen as a pus sy licker. GETIT ???
A pussy licker is a different thing altogether but i wouldnt call it that, just a pussy will do. -
Ahhhh... yes.. you got it right.Originally posted by indonboyz:Your are confused, standing up for your gf is not seen as a pussy licker, he is just being her bf, looking over her and protecting her when its needed or even when its not needed, all woman wanted to be protected and look after , that is why sometimes some woman get excited and moved(even though they dont admit it) when men fight over them.
A pussy licker is a different thing altogether but i wouldnt call it that, just a pussy will do.
Woman likes their man to fight over them.
It is very true.
Women will start a war among countries let alone mere friends.
To prove his love for her.. he must sacrifice.
It is also very true sometimes.. that the wife wants their husband to disown his own mother.
It is known as the power struggle....yes.. we women are sometimes guilty of it. And yet we look much like the victims who deserves it. -
being stuck between a rock and a very hard place is better than hiding in a closet and ignoring the fight brewing. I would prefer to get stuck in.Originally posted by jojobeach:Where you there when it happened ?
How do you know it wasn't something TS said that triggered that kind of psychotic behaviour ?
Sorry, my boyfriend don't need to stand up for me. I will biatch back at that woman myself, if I know I am right.
The most her bf can do is talk to his friend who owns the psycho.
By the way, TS never says that her bf was there when it happened.
So you would side with your galfriend over you mom ?
If both your mom and girlfriend are right leh ?
Sometimes it is a mere difference in perception.
They each have their own reason for doing what they do.
How can you resolve it ?
Do you want to further create more animosity among two warring females ?
You'd be stuck between a rock and a VERY hard place.. I guarantee that.
Whatever its is in the first incident, his responsiblity is to defend her honor and simply this rule
dont make her or dont let anybody make her cry, if a guy couldnt understand this basic sense of chilvary left, i feel sorry for all the female species left in this world. -
If it's affecting you so much, why not have a talk with your bf and find out what his reasons are instead of guessing?
Try to tell him that you were hurt by his reaction, and when you saw him not going all out to defend you the way he could defend others when you are supposed to be the most important girl in his life?
I am sure he might have his own reasons? Try not to attack him and make it sounds like a confrontation... Try whining? lol
Like now, you should have cooled down a little, find a good time, and tell him in a little kitten way," you know that day XXX was so mean in her words and i was so hurt... When you didn't pay much attention to my emotions, it didn't make things better... You could have defended me or sayang me more, but you never, make people so sad you know?" ** puppy face **
That way, he might not feel wronged and may tell you his reasons in a calm way...? Then you will have the answer that none of us could give you here? And you come back tell us?
-
thats life isnt it?but if im a woman i feel more secured if my guy stood up for me than just say "ignore her"Originally posted by jojobeach:Ahhhh... yes.. you got it right.
Woman likes their man to fight over them.
It is very true.
Women will start a war among countries let alone mere friends.
To prove his love for her.. he must sacrifice.
It is also very true sometimes.. that the wife wants their husband to disown his own mother.
It is known as the power struggle....yes.. we women are sometimes guilty of it. And yet we look much like the victims who deserves it.
man, thats total crap -
You already feel sorry for the female species.Originally posted by indonboyz:being stuck between a rock and a very hard place is better than hiding in a closet and ignoring the fight brewing. I would prefer to get stuck in.
Whatever its is in the first incident, his responsiblity is to defend her honor and simply this rule
dont make her or dont let anybody make her cry, if a guy couldnt understand this basic sense of chilvary left, i feel sorry for all the female species left in this world.
Unfortunately, the female species is not as weak and useless as you would like to believe.
There are times when the males need to step up to be the man.
There are times, when the females need to take the lead.
If you marry a woman who is so useless.
How is she going to take care of your family and offsprings ?
My advise to you is simple.
Don't marry an airhead.
You will be very exhausted at the end of the day and realised your biggest mistake is not marrying someone smarter and stronger. -
Originally posted by Delphian:If it's affecting you so much, why not have a talk with your bf and find out what his reasons are instead of guessing?
Try to tell him that you were hurt by his reaction, and when you saw him not going all out to defend you the way he could defend others when you are supposed to be the most important girl in his life?
I am sure he might have his own reasons? Try not to attack him and make it sounds like a confrontation... Try whining? lol
Like now, you should have cooled down a little, find a good time, and tell him in a little kitten way," you know that day XXX was so mean in her words and i was so hurt... When you didn't pay much attention to my emotions, it didn't make things better... You could have defended me or sayang me more, but you never, make people so sad you know?" ** puppy face **
That way, he might not feel wronged and may tell you his reasons in a calm way...? Then you will have the answer that none of us could give you here? And you come back tell us?
maybe he will say
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
fast forward to the future- after marriage
maybe sis in law says hurtful things to her, than bf reaction is
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
fast forward- got kids, nother in law complaints on how she raised her kids, no good mother etc make her cry and he will say
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
and go on and on..
-
Sigh, even if i marry an airhead, i will not regret because i believe and i m sure its my job to protect her and make her happyOriginally posted by jojobeach:You already feel sorry for the female species.
Unfortunately, the female species is not as weak and useless as you would like to believe.
There are times when the males need to step up to be the man.
There are times, when the females need to take the lead.
If you marry a woman who is so useless.
How is she going to take care of your family and offsprings ?
My advise to you is simple.
Don't marry an airhead.
You will be very exhausted at the end of the day and realised your biggest mistake is not marrying someone smarter and stronger.
but most importantly
she is my airhead
whats so great about marrying somebody smarter and stronger? Will that make you more happy as a man? I don t think so
you cannot and will not categorise the person you love in that way
if you fall in love with someone , you fall in love with all her weaknesses and strength
not because she is an airhead or she is strong
if you start to make logical assumptions and deductions you are reasoning yourself to love someone, and i tell you this- its so wrong to do this
love is something you feel , not something you will. I feel sorry if you have to do that to fall in love.
Better to have love and lost than not to love at all. -
Indon,
why you quote & blend your words and my words together?
I help you seperate... Blur king..
Black is mine... Red is Idonboyz'sOriginally posted by indonboyz:If it's affecting you so much, why not have a talk with your bf and find out what his reasons are instead of guessing?
Try to tell him that you were hurt by his reaction, and when you saw him not going all out to defend you the way he could defend others when you are supposed to be the most important girl in his life?
I am sure he might have his own reasons? Try not to attack him and make it sounds like a confrontation... Try whining? lol
Like now, you should have cooled down a little, find a good time, and tell him in a little kitten way," you know that day XXX was so mean in her words and i was so hurt... When you didn't pay much attention to my emotions, it didn't make things better... You could have defended me or sayang me more, but you never, make people so sad you know?" ** puppy face **
That way, he might not feel wronged and may tell you his reasons in a calm way...? Then you will have the answer that none of us could give you here? And you come back tell us?
maybe he will say
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
fast forward to the future- after marriage
maybe sis in law says hurtful things to her, than bf reaction is
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
fast forward- got kids, nother in law complaints on how she raised her kids, no good mother etc make her cry and he will say
"no big deal, let her say what she wants, you know she is crazy, you are silly to cry over it "
and go on and on.. -
YOu make me laugh so hard....Originally posted by indonboyz:Sigh, even if i marry an airhead, i will not regret because i believe and i m sure its my job to protect her and make her happy
but most importantly
she is my airhead
whats so great about marrying somebody smarter and stronger? Will that make you more happy as a man? I don t think so
you cannot and will not categorise the person you love in that way
if you fall in love with someone , you fall in love with all her weaknesses and strength
not because she is an airhead or she is strong
if you start to make logical assumptions and deductions you are reasoning yourself to love someone, and i tell you this- its so wrong to do this
love is something you feel , not something you will. I feel sorry if you have to do that to fall in love.
Better to have love and lost than not to love at all.
OK. So you don't mind an airhead... Good for you.
Marrying someone smarter and stronger will not make you more happy.
It will only prevent you from sadness and regrets.
Falling in love is not blind.
That is why there is such a thing call "Natural selection".
Do you really believe a smart decent woman will blindly love you if you are stupid and useless?
Do you really believe TS's boyfriend will not , one day wake up and tell himself " I am sick of my useless GF" ????
BEFORE you fall in love with someone again.. ASK yourself why you FELL OUTA LOVE before. -
Maybe the ts will one day wake up and tell herself , im sick of my useless BF?By my reckoning he is kind off useless, he value friends above her,Originally posted by jojobeach:YOu make me laugh so hard....
OK. So you don't mind an airhead... Good for you.
Marrying someone smarter and stronger will not make you more happy.
It will only prevent you from sadness and regrets.
Falling in love is not blind.
That is why there is such a thing call "Natural selection".
Do you really believe a smart decent woman will blindly love you if you are stupid and useless?
Do you really believe TS's boyfriend will not , one day wake up and tell himself " I am sick of my useless GF" ????
how could marrying some smarter and stronger will prevent you from sadness and regret? care to tell me but i wont answer you now because i have to SLEEP!!sorry its 6.20 am now
i belive in my own capability but i wont choose a woman because she is stronger and smarter, i will choose the one that will make my heart beat faster than eurodance song -
you are asking me? what this have to do with the ts thread, and i dont think we know each other.Originally posted by jojobeach:BEFORE you fall in love with someone again.. ASK yourself why you FELL OUTA LOVE before.
so did i fall out of love before? er? care to fill in the blanks?im blanker than billy blank by this.
Have you fell out of love before? You sound hardened by the disappointment of love, so hardened that you fell that you dont need the strength of man and you prefer to rely on yourself
so disappointed that you cannot believe that a man can protect you anymore?
sound like you got dumped bad ,dont expect other to lower their standards and accept just because you did -
Errr yah.. I also blur lor.Originally posted by indonboyz:you are asking me? what this have to do with the ts thread, and i dont think we know each other.
so did i fall out of love before? er? care to fill in the blanks?im blanker than billy blank by this.
Have you fell out of love before? You sound hardened by the disappointment of love, so hardened that you fell that you dont need the strength of man and you prefer to rely on yourself
so disappointed that you cannot believe that a man can protect you anymore?
sound like you got dumped bad ,dont expect other to lower their standards and accept just because you did
Anyway, it's true lah I also don't know you hor.
I also know I won't be falling in love with you leh.......kekekeke.. -
What is the kind of persona you projected to your BF? Does he know your other character? Do you know how he behaves in front of you and when you are not around?Originally posted by galfriend:yesterday went out with my bf and our friends. one of them brought his gf who happens to be pretty unpopular. as the night unfolds it was pretty obvious why no one talks to her.
she was like passing negative remarks on me, then i agree. but she still repeats and repeat despite i agreed and agreed. after i thought i had enough, i just walked away to joined another group. Guess what, she followed me and make sure that she keeps passing those nasty remarks.
i was so mad, and hurt too. when i complained to everyone, everyone told me she is like that, thats why no one wants to talk to her.
but what puzzled me most was, my bf, who is very protective over his friends and family, just said "no lah, you are not wat she said. ignore her"
not that im expectin my bf to scold her or wat, but i juz cant understand why he, who is always so protective of everyone around him, reacted that way when someone bully me to note that he always stand up for justice, and ever 'chu tou' for one of my friends when another person's gf bullied her. why as a gf, i become at the disadvantaged end?
You 2 are still building a relationship. It is at times and situations like these that could bond your relationship even better or break it. Have a talk with him and let him understand your concerns.
Loving someone is not just a box of chocolates, they will give you tooth decay. Many times the vegetables has to be put into the menu to balance things out. Many relationships fail because they only want the chocolates in it. Unable to balance the diet (communications, emotions, concerns, etc, etc) has caused many problems and break ups.
If you cannot understand, ask. If he does not comprehend, explain.