I Can't Live With This Guilt Anymore!
-
luckily my eyes are trained enough to read through walls of text tightly compacted together in size 8 fonts..
luckily it wasn't THAT long..
O.k i admit maybe the in-law is a bit annoying but that kind of thing happens, and it was unfortunate that it wasnt solved before the marriage.
but i got 1 thing to say about ur manager. I think he aint so 'nice and protective' after all.In my opinion. A real gentlemen will stay through this with a solid mind and since its gonna be YOUR wedding soon even with ur state of mind , all drunked up. Sounds tempting i know , but still... there are some situations i wont bang a girl.
well.. i mean in THIS situation.
Ur situations pretty dramatic.. like those kimchi drama's plus with some hongkie scenario.
But i think , what is done is done liaw. If u really love your BF maybe u should talk to him. And if he dumps your @ss because of this , know that he has contributionary negligence in his part. And maybe u can be more calm n stop become so emo and sit down have a 1 on 1 talk. Before you reach the part about sleeping with the manager , be sure to explain and emphasise on the point of ur emotional state before gown trying and the point where u ran off in your gown and etc etc.. dun forget to add.. emotional state + lots n lots of alchohol. Most likely he will be FUKING pissed off but yeah.
And as for drugs.... there are many forms of drugs + with alchohol to make u in a state of... mmmm how should i say... blur and wanting. I know. But hopefully it wasnt it. -
Prevention is better than cure, my fren.. its a MUST that u go to check . not maybOriginally posted by Crystal_Gal:don't think my manager is those who flirt with prostitutes?..but guess we shall never know..ya...maybe i will go..
anyway, will be tendering my resignation tmr..
i really hope i won't get pregnant..or else....i really duno wat to do..
Don worry bout pregnant issue, im pretty sure u knw whn is ur period and whn its the most possible time that your ovum is ready. U got wat i mean.. anyway , still need to check up -
All the best to you. Always look on the bright side of life.Originally posted by Crystal_Gal:To all who replied...
I am really thankful to those who were very direct and some even said i was materialistic and a loose woman....i really do think i am...frankly speaking..i accept all that you said as possiblie reasons..cos that may be how i am when i did that that in the car...maybe that's why i ended up in this situation...it's retribution and i accept it....i am feeling so loss now and guilty towards my bf...guilty towards my manager's wife and children..guilty to my parents...there is really nothing more for me to say..i thank you for bringing myself to face reality rather than to run away from it...that i am the one and only one to blame for this outcome...
To those who have been comforting me and encouraging me and some even analysed how i could have reacted in a drunken state...i thank you also for your kind words...really grateful to you..
I am glad that after posting here...i actually find out what i should really do....
I just gave a short call to my ex-bf..i confessed everything to him...he was dead silent for a while...and then he suggested that we break up....cos he cant accept a gal who betrayed him....i could hear his voice breaking..and it seems he is shedding tears...i held back my tears,...cos i know i don't deserve to let him hear my tears...i told him that i do not want him to forgive me cos i dont deserve it..and nothing will make me forgive myself..
In the end, i told him that whoever marries him in future will find a gem...he scolded me for being a bitch....i replied..'yes...i know..'...i know he is very angry and sad now...but i know it is me who brought it to him...
Finally, I told him i will disappear from his life..and he slammed the phone...
My confessing to him...i do not wish to lessen my guilt...in fact, it can only increase over time..however..the last thing i can do for him...as his ex-gf..is to tell him the truth....i do want to keep the relationship..but since i brought this situation upon myself, i cant just keep it from him for my selfish gains...
I know it's too late now..and i accept it.....i just hope he can find someone better than me...
Thanks all...and please don't quarrel among some of you over my issue...i don't want this to happen...bye..
-
no presentation?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:All the best to you. Always look on the bright side of life. -
yup i realised that too, she can still follow the other parts in my postOriginally posted by Zarks:De-middle, you're a bit late, She confessed.. ^ ^
-
cheh ~ after read so long.. should read comments first ...
*yawn* wasted my time n my eyeballs.. -
yup, this was the other thing u'll need to do too.Originally posted by Crystal_Gal:don't think my manager is those who flirt with prostitutes?..but guess we shall never know..ya...maybe i will go..
anyway, will be tendering my resignation tmr..
i really hope i won't get pregnant..or else....i really duno wat to do..
good to know, ur taking all the correct steps.
Next, i do hope that u'll find a regular hour job that pays decently so that u can have the time to go & upgrade urself thru nite classes
though i don't know who you are but i must say i'm proud of you in taking the right steps in rectifying the damage
good luck -
in the eyes of the law... this kinda incident can be classified as rape lehOriginally posted by Crystal_Gal:"Things cannot be undone already and are you sure u had sex with him"
I really can't recall much..when i awoke, i saw stains on me..he told me we had sex...i seem to think we had done it... -
lol its ok, u guys are good guys who just wan to help her.. i believe she really appreciate this. She already confessed, lets not talk bout the @#$% manager or anything. Perhaps some1 can offer her a job ? cuz she will resign tomorrow?
I believe this will be better than talking bout the past again.. So, anyone who got vacancy for any job for her ? This will help her more.. Sory i duno cuz im in Malaysia not SG
Sory my english sucks. -
It's already the past.Originally posted by Crystal_Gal:To all who replied...
I am really thankful to those who were very direct and some even said i was materialistic and a loose woman....i really do think i am...frankly speaking..i accept all that you said as possiblie reasons..cos that may be how i am when i did that that in the car...maybe that's why i ended up in this situation...it's retribution and i accept it....i am feeling so loss now and guilty towards my bf...guilty towards my manager's wife and children..guilty to my parents...there is really nothing more for me to say..i thank you for bringing myself to face reality rather than to run away from it...that i am the one and only one to blame for this outcome...
To those who have been comforting me and encouraging me and some even analysed how i could have reacted in a drunken state...i thank you also for your kind words...really grateful to you..
I am glad that after posting here...i actually find out what i should really do....
I just gave a short call to my ex-bf..i confessed everything to him...he was dead silent for a while...and then he suggested that we break up....cos he cant accept a gal who betrayed him....i could hear his voice breaking..and it seems he is shedding tears...i held back my tears,...cos i know i don't deserve to let him hear my tears...i told him that i do not want him to forgive me cos i dont deserve it..and nothing will make me forgive myself..
>>> Oh dear...was that even a betrayal? I suppose you've told him everything after the scene which you left from the wedding boutique. It's not fully your fault, he certainly has to share the fault/mishap. If he didn't start it off, you wouldn't have left and .........I guess he didn't think of the whole picture...i think only....Oh my...that piece of flesh was so important to him...i think only....
In the end, i told him that whoever marries him in future will find a gem...he scolded me for being a b!tch....i replied..'yes...i know..'...i know he is very angry and sad now...but i know it is me who brought it to him...
>>> Oh my...tell me that he loves you whole-heartedly..
Finally, I told him i will disappear from his life..and he slammed the phone...
My confessing to him...i do not wish to lessen my guilt...in fact, it can only increase over time..however..the last thing i can do for him...as his ex-gf..is to tell him the truth....i do want to keep the relationship..but since i brought this situation upon myself, i cant just keep it from him for my selfish gains...
I know it's too late now..and i accept it.....i just hope he can find someone better than me...
Thanks all...and please don't quarrel among some of you over my issue...i don't want this to happen...bye..
Start your new life. -
where MalaysiaOriginally posted by Zarks:lol its ok, u guys are good guys who just wan to help her.. i believe she really appreciate this. She already confessed, lets not talk bout the @#$% manager or anything. Perhaps some1 can offer her a job ? cuz she will resign tomorrow?
I believe this will be better than talking bout the past again.. So, anyone who got vacancy for any job for her ? This will help her more.. Sory i duno cuz im in Malaysia not SG
Sory my english sucks. -
FOr this one, i dont have wide knowledge bout this... in the laws, yes. Im not sure if Crystal Gal wan to bring this into laws and check if she could sue that manager.Originally posted by sunny6110:in the eyes of the law... this kinda incident can be classified as rape leh -
Hi....crystal gal...
First...I want to say....dont hate yourself so much....it was not actually your fault, because you were drunk...this is very important.
Drunkenness is a very serious psychological impairment.
So......pls, about this having sex while you are drunk.....pls, from what I can see, you are more of a victim, and the manager is more of a perpetrator, could possibly be a criminal (rape).
If Im not wrong, in court, even for many cases, being drunk, or being under the influence of drugs, can reduce someone's culpability. Also, having sex while someone is drunk, might be considered rape.
This is how serious drunkenness is.
From all angles that I can see......you were in a vulnerable position, mentally, pshychologically, and also plus the influence of alcohol, an intoxicant. So you were actually a victim, someone who had been taken advantage of.
Pls dont feel guilty as if it is your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty when u get robbed, it is the criminal's fault, not you. Although, u can say u should take precautions not to leave ur handbag on the chair and let the opportunity arise for example, but that is all.
It is the same in this case, you should take precautions not to get drunk in such an intense emotional state and let the opportunity arise for someone to prey on you, but that doesn't diminish the fault of the perpetrator, the manager, it is his fault, not you!
Pls give yourself some time to calm down, and start realizing this.
It is very normal, when women are raped, or taken advantage of when they are drunk or in unclear situations, that they start to blame themselves. I think you are going through the same process.
For now just give yourself some time to calm down, and stop blaming yourself, it was not your fault.
You are a victim, remember!
Just resign from the job, and then think whether u want to report him to police or not, it is your choice.
About the Boyfriend.....later on, you have to try to meetup and explain to him, I believe he doesnt get the full picture about this situation. He must have missed the point about reluctant/ drunkenness being-taken-advantage part. The perspective should totally change, from you being a cheating girlfriend, to you having a misfortune and being a victim. I believe this perspective is totally lost, and not registered at all in his mind, or your mind previously.
And my advice for you personally.....just be strong....and keep a positive attitude....you met with a very unpleasant and unfortunate incident....sometimes things like this can happen in life....but dont lose heart ok....and dont worry, u will emerge as a much stronger person.....and....never tolerate any suicidal thoughts.....
I wish you all the best,
Although we can only talk on internet forum, but I truly hope, and wish, that you will recover soon and emerge stronger. My best wishes,
Sincerely,
Meat Pao. -
I guess the percentage of unrelated stuff is too high in this thread.
Please, keep to the topic and try to help TS instead of having your own conversation or quarrel...
Also, i feel that no one really think about TS's BF... If TS really love his bf, she might want to know what her BF want most and give what her BF wanted most.
Be it break, or forgiving her, i guess is most important that both parties negative feelings will be minimized...
Also, if the TS bf really love her, and she still really love her bf, being together is best isn't it?
To TS, you might also want to post and update us on what happen after currently so that we can help you more ^^
Anyway, all the best to you TS. -
wah... Meat pao so cleber...Originally posted by Meat Pao:About the Boyfriend.....later on, you have to try to meetup and explain to him, I believe he doesnt get the full picture about this situation. He must have missed the point about reluctant/ drunkenness being-taken-advantage part. The perspective should totally change, from you being a cheating girlfriend, to you having a misfortune and being a victim. I believe this perspective is totally lost, and not registered at all in his mind, or your mind previously.
since she oreadi confessed le... this is the only way out... me oso tink can work if She can convince her bf and if her bf truly love her... He'll want her de...
4 yrs of rship u know?? -
Yea, Crystal Gal,
Did u actually tell your bf that its the drunkeness not bcuz u betrayed him?
Its not at your own will. THe way you tell him might affect on how he understand and judge you...
Did you tell him taht u got drunk and ended up seeing yourself beside that man without knowing anything or u just say u got drunk n ended up having sex with him ?
Perhaps if he didnt get the real situation, it might the best to explain again if you wish. Don lose hope, DO the best you can. -
I think that's a little too harsh... Who has never erred?Originally posted by boka:U shouldn't carry on with the marriage and just tell your bf what happened that night.
A good person like him don't deserve someone that dirty and lose like u. -
ermmm... let me guess...Originally posted by Zarks:Yea, Crystal Gal,
Did u actually tell your bf that its the drunkeness not bcuz u betrayed him?
Its not at your own will. THe way you tell him might affect on how he understand and judge you...
Did you tell him taht u got drunk and ended up seeing yourself beside that man without knowing anything or u just say u got drunk n ended up having sex with him ?
Perhaps if he didnt get the real situation, it might the best to explain again if you wish. Don lose hope, DO the best you can.
u no gf rite? -
Also, i feel that TS have enough scolding already... I guess she is awake now...
Well why not try to find a solution for her or a path she would walk comfortably? -
Everyone has but this will not be used as a bargaining ground for "let offs"Originally posted by shirurinu:I think that's a little too harsh... Who has never erred? -
First things first.
The tiff with your bf, put it aside.
You were raped by your manager.
If you are not taking the matter up with the police.
Then get professional counselling for rape.
Then only settle with your bf. -
In my opinion, it's like a rape lo...Originally posted by allentyb:the fact is, she slept him already wah -
I think this thread should be closed liao .......Originally posted by popikachu:Also, i feel that TS have enough scolding already... I guess she is awake now...
Well why not try to find a solution for her or a path she would walk comfortably? -
grow up.
-
Sori cant buy that 'mistook my manager for my boyfriend bit'-even if you do buy it yourself.
Quit the relationship-you're not ready for marraige. You're too immature. Its gonna break up the soonest.
Marraige is serious business.
Its best for everyone if you just walk away now, postpone it-whatever.