This is too much!
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Originally posted by the Bear:do you really need us to tell you from that little bit you shared with us?
do you really want him to go away or are you looking for someone to say 'go back to him' so that you will?
no, i am not defending him nor judging that he is a loser. precisely, from the little that i wrote, why you guys sayt hat he is a loser, that is the qn that puzzles me.Originally posted by de_middle:why are u defending him
why did u tell him to give u till october for an answer
and u call this moving on & ur title stating "This is too much!"..........do u want to put a stop to this in the very 1st place 
no, i am not writing here with the hope that someone will ask me to go back. i will make my own deicicion.
rather, i am writing here to seek subjective opinion whether this is too much. after sometimes, reading what i write about my own situation, i do get enlightenment from the reading. -
i am still dreaming? am i....Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:U got the answer liao, it's just yr love for him is still there. U need someone to wake u up, cos u still dreaming. -
Throughout the things u wrote... i can only sense uncertainty on your part. you do not really know what you want. And how come love involves a DEADline? true love do not involve deadlines... more appropriately it has to involve acceptance. and why him? is he the only man on earth? in the first place you already stepped on the wrong boat. waiting for him to finalise with decree nisi absolute.Originally posted by sggirl07:During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy
deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.
Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up.
So i asked for time to think.
i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, ...
cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together...
On him, i would think that he is the most selfish man on earth. period. that man has alot of insecurity. on extreme side of the problem, he can be manipulative to you.
Hope everything can be well for u soon.
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Yes, deadlines are not meant for love. rather the deadlines refered to how long a time one needs to wait. 'how long i had to wait for him' to finalise with decree nisi (because despite we were a couple, during that period of time we barely met despite we were just together only for couple of months!), and now, how much time i need to consider proplerly, so as to be fair towards him that he does not have to wait indefinitely.Originally posted by mach10:Throughout the things u wrote... i can only sense uncertainty on your part. you do not really know what you want. And how come love involves a DEADline? true love do not involve deadlines... more appropriately it has to involve acceptance. and why him? is he the only man on earth? in the first place you already stepped on the wrong boat. waiting for him to finalise with decree nisi absolute.
On him, i would think that he is the most selfish man on earth. period. that man has alot of insecurity. on extreme side of the peoblem, he can be manipulative to you.
Hope everything can be well for u soon.
i do agree that he can be manipulative, which is what he is doing even now! insisting that we MUST meet up this weekend!
As for his insecurity, please enlighten me. Thank you. -
Life's like that. Many people only learns to treasure what they have after they lose it. Similarly for your case, the guy is asking for a reconsideration
only after you have terminated him. Now he's wanting back because he realised that ultimately, you are still the best to him.
I can't really comment further because I don't know how close you are to him or how much the relationship means. My only advise is tread with caution.
Whether you decide to accept him again or not, you must make provisions that things may not turn out well as expected. Gd luck!!
Cheers -
i'm wondering whether am i being too harsh in this instance by telling u that he isn't worth the wait.
From the little that u wrote, i conculde that he isn't sincere & truthful back then. Why was he evasive How truthful can he be in the future How hurt were you back then when you realised you had enough
Not that i wanna be judgemental in this, it is therefore really important that you scrutinize this carefully before making that decision. In the meantime, you can tell him nicely to leave you alone while you assess this -
Yo sister, Dun let us gal down leh! Be a strong lady, stand up and face the problem straight at face value.
Your indecisive in this matter show that you still love him, you can deny all the way you want, but as a gal myself, i know you do still have a feeling for him.
For me, this type of man is nothing to me, if no feeling with him, i will have kick him down Singapore River liao.
Love got dealine one meh??? R u crazy?? there is no deadline in love, the more deadline you propose the more thinking u need to do, the more headache you will have, the more uncertainties will be there.
If you need bf, i have plenty, from CEO to Van drivers, dun have to go for a second hand married man, so pathetic. You are beautiful and sexy you know, why give deadline to a dead man, tell him to fark (pardon me) off and dun mess up you life ya.
Sister
Angel -
Sister Angel,Originally posted by angel7030:Yo sister, Dun let us gal down leh! Be a strong lady, stand up and face the problem straight at face value.
Your indecisive in this matter show that you still love him, you can deny all the way you want, but as a gal myself, i know you do still have a feeling for him.
For me, this type of man is nothing to me, if no feeling with him, i will have kick him down Singapore River liao.
Love got dealine one meh??? R u crazy?? there is no deadline in love, the more deadline you propose the more thinking u need to do, the more headache you will have, the more uncertainties will be there.
If you need bf, i have plenty, from CEO to Van drivers, dun have to go for a second hand married man, so pathetic. You are beautiful and sexy you know, why give deadline to a dead man, tell him to fark (pardon me) off and dun mess up you life ya.
Sister
Angel
how you know i am beautiful and sexy? -
Seriously, if you're gonna fret over who actually gives more and how you should be receiving more for the "wrong" you have suffered, what future do you see in this relationship?Originally posted by sggirl07:But isnt this supposed to be the way? You give up our relaltionship when you were that irresponsible. now, if you want it back, show some sincerity instead of thinking about opportunity costs!
I certainly can't see this relationship last till you're 70 if you're so concerned about being shortchanged... -
WTF !!!! SORY FOR BEING RUDE BUT WTF !!! YOU STUPID GAL STIL DREAMING !!
1st wtf u got invilved with married guy firstly and WTF this loser guy betraying his own marriage and in his completion of separation , he asked u to wait then no result ??? WTF i wan to kill this guy !!!
and now wat !!! he has no one and now he wans u back ??!!! HE TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED LA !! He said got ppl chasing him is a BULLSHIT la.. u thk anyone really wan to chase a guy who just divorced ????
Fark , i think u still young and dont know bout this thing...
My advise plz .. leave this useless guy !!! i cant believe he still hanging out with u whn he was still in married !!! AND YOU ALSO STUPID GAL , WHY SO STUPID GET INVOLVED WITH THIS MARRIED GUY ??
Married guy with another gal is a totally unacceptable and irresponsible!! HES A SYYHTTTT !!!
Think bout this !! He kept ignoring you from meeting for some reasons and i dun thk its a good one !! THINK BOUT THIS ALSO !!, if you n him together and get married , u honestly believe he wont find other if he thinks hes not happy with u ???
REAL FARK I HOPE THIS STUPID GUY READ THIS POST BY ME.. REALLY SHHYT !
But i like it whn u treat him as bad as he treated u .. now jus leave him..!! hes a useless guy for nothing ! I felt ashamed of this kind of guy !! Really embarrasing our GUY !!!
PLus u already ended up with him !! NOW HE got nothing and now he search for you back to become his another prey !!???
Please , gal.... U move on your life.. ignore this stupid guy.. i believe he will try anything to get you back... for now he sure got nothing....
dont become his another prey...Let him learn his lesson.. -
Originally posted by sggirl07:My bf and i have broke up for half a year. This was my story.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=236155&page=0
For those who are lazy to read, to summarise, he was married and seperated, and asked me to wait for him for completion of his separation, which would be due by end march.
During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy
i waited for him, but when the deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.
so we broke up in end march.
Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up. So i asked for time to think. we communicate via email, msn and phone. he asked to meet. i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, so i told him i will let him know the answer by october. he agreed too.
all this while, i have been considering. And all this while, he has asked to meet occasionally, i turned him down.
this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together (ie a couple). and now he is lonely, i must meet him despite i need the time to have a clear mind to think?
Is he disregarding my feelings? Does he really think i am a inferior being to him? Does he even respect me at all?
Dont be softhearted !! THIS GUY JUST WAN YOUR SYMPATHY!! Ignore this bastard !! Let him lonely forever !!! Didnt he said got pretty gals chasing him?? What a bullshit -
I think you are mistaken. Which part am i worried about being shortchanged?Originally posted by walesa:Seriously, if you're gonna fret over who actually gives more and how you should be receiving more for the "wrong" you have suffered, what future do you see in this relationship?
I certainly can't see this relationship last till you're 70 if you're so concerned about being shortchanged...
i need to time to consider as i need to assess whatever happened might happen again, as i do not want to be stupid and to be hurt by the same reasons twice.
do you understand?
where have i stated or insinuated that i was worried about being shortchanged?
And hello, when he was thinking about patching up with me, trying to woo me back, he is counting his opportunity costs with a particular girl. how sincere is he?
I suggest you read the whole story before commenting. That may enlighten you on how much pain i went through and the need to think clearly. -
Must be, if not why that guy can fall for you even if he had a wifey, my suggestion is why we gals like to fall for married men when there are so many good single men around, go to them and talk to them. Married men are very skill and romantic in tackling gal cos they got experience and nothing to loose. So dun ever fall for them again, as women, we must also think of his wife, she must be damn hurt. Why then should we hurt our own sister on the opposite. How will u feel if you are in his wife position. You have sin you know. So, nevermind, learn from one lesson, next time, go for single ones ya.Originally posted by sggirl07:Sister Angel,
how you know i am beautiful and sexy?
Now take your pick, mei mei can intro for you and guarantee good men, if not can return but no refund.
CEO of chocolate factory in Jurong (calbury) age 40
Engineer in Marine age 27
Marine parade bicycle shop owner age 29
KC Dat lorry driver age 23
Accountant auditor age 32
Industrial relation office age 26
Navy Capt age 31
Manager Swissotel age 34
Manager Production age 35
HDB architect and design age 30
Supervisor age 25
CID assit commissioner age 33
Delivery van man age 28
Sergeant Army age 20
Hairdresser age 29
General worker age 18
Bangadeshi age 22
China man age 22 -
sgforums oso gt handsome n suave 1 leh....
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But mostly Either PCC or DIY one leh.Originally posted by sunny6110:sgforums oso gt handsome n suave 1 leh.... -
got exception one leh...Originally posted by angel7030:But mostly Either PCC or DIY one leh. -
so what u expect them to do when they dun have GF......vist pro even worse rightOriginally posted by angel7030:But mostly Either PCC or DIY one leh. -
U dun have to visit pro just because you got no GF rite? Go out of the cave, stop playing games, wasted so much time playing games and porn till gf also forget. You should have classmate, college, relatives, frens to chill out, learn to socialise, dun be a thrifty, spend a bit, be jovious, and dun be afraid of failure in losing a gf you want very much, just let go and find again, very soon, you will have one that love you so much. And of course, you have to look at yourself and dun expect the high end beauti and sexy like movie star type ok. Be simple, jovious, fun to be with and civilise, and dun use the middle finger.Originally posted by de_middle:so what u expect them to do when they dun have GF......vist pro even worse right -
Huh, woei! u really or not, so good, never DIY meh? Dun fake fake lah, sure go do one.Originally posted by sunny6110:got exception one leh... -
i'm can perform better in other areas...Originally posted by angel7030:Huh, woei! u really or not, so good, never DIY meh? Dun fake fake lah, sure go do one. -
But if u r not dreaming, then why U.......u should noe him better than us.Originally posted by sggirl07:i am still dreaming? am i....
Hopefully u r not dreaming, but this case is clear cut, it is too much. -
[quote]Originally posted by sggirl07:
[b]this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
[/]/quote]
Read and think !!!
He is restraining himself from getting involve in other relationship waiting for u !!!! If he is saying that - gal dump this asshole !!!
This sentence already say - he is has been looking out and considering others .... just he give u first choice ....!!! After what you been throught with him ....and he still say that ........ dump him !!! He does not deserve someone like you. -
[quote]Originally posted by sggirl07:
[b]this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
[/]/quote]
Read and think !!!
He is restraining himself from getting involve in other relationship waiting for u !!!! If he is saying that - gal dump this asshole !!!
This sentence already say - he is has been looking out and considering others .... just he give u first choice ....!!! After what you been throught with him and his divorce ....and he still say that ... does not sound like a man who will stick by you for long ..... dump him !!! -
I guess this is the fourth time you made a thread in AA about your relationship with him.
Just want to tell you that, being happy is the most important.
Why force yourself something when you are not happy?
Love should be bringing happiness. -
Girl,
I think you should meet up with him.
During the meeting, you need to keep your emotion in check.
No alcohol, no quiet corner.
Always in a public place, but calm enough to have a private talk.
Perhaps hotel lobby cafes would be a good choice.
Have a cup of coffee or tea.
When you set up the meeting.
Tell him before hand, that you want to see proof of the divorce.
There will be documents issued by the court.
Meet up with him and talk.
Ask him how he has been doing.
Ask him what are his future plans.
You may be surprise that your feelings for him are no longer the same.
Then you decide if you want him back or not.
Don't string him along like he did to you.
You are above his past doings.
Be a smart girl, know not to trust his every word.
Save your pity for someone more deserving.
His comments about another girl waiting for him.
In my eyes, he is a weakling.
He strung you along , and now he stringing another girl along.
Always keeping spare tires....... unable to stand alone.