This is too much!
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Why waste your time waiting and waiting if he does not show his sincerity? Do think you still harbour hopes of him and writing about him here in this forum? He seems to be just trying to delay the time by avoiding to clarify the issue and to prove his determination to resolve the problem by giving you the evidence.
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he loves you leh................
give him a chance -
Wah u all say until this guy like raped the girl like that!
All i can say to u guys is get off your moral high horse.
Do u guys know this fella?
Dunno right!
You guys are only hearing 1 side of the story then condem people until like he damn jialat . Best part u guys dun even know this fella.
Does it mean that he divorce his wife for another girl he is an asshole? -
x2Originally posted by GermKiller:Wah u all say until this guy like raped the girl like that!
All i can say to u guys is get off your moral high horse.
Do u guys know this fella?
Dunno right!
You guys are only hearing 1 side of the story then condem people until like he damn jialat . Best part u guys dun even know this fella.
Does it mean that he divorce his wife for another girl he is an asshole? -
Divorce man can feel lonely, esp he is now left with nothing but you. Perhaps he has this fear of losing you and fear of loneliness/other factors just override this prior agreement of not meeting up. How old is he? Can he easily find a new girlfriend now? Why does he want to meet you? is it for physical contacts?
If he truly love you, he shouldn't say "refrain from finding other gals." i find it rather unpleasant to put fro..
And oh yeah, do you think it is possible for him to suffer some sort of emotional stress when his marriage is breaking apart? And is that why he refused to see u for there particular period of time..plus there are many factors, speculation will leads to somewhere or nowhere at all.. Did he apologized to you and did u ask him why since you are so bother with it till to the present day..
Communication and understanding is important in any relationship. -
I let you be the judgeOriginally posted by GermKiller:Wah u all say until this guy like raped the girl like that!
All i can say to u guys is get off your moral high horse.
Do u guys know this fella?
Dunno right!
You guys are only hearing 1 side of the story then condem people until like he damn jialat . Best part u guys dun even know this fella.
Does it mean that he divorce his wife for another girl he is an asshole?
He screw up 1 relationship with the wife & also screw up the other relationship with his gf - Life already been kind to him offering 2nd chance yet he still does not do well with it .
Yep keep letting him have excuse of mistake. As for the question of is he an asshole ? Well if he is not yet.... he is sure getting to be one soon the way he is heading !!! -
Aren't you self-contradicting? You sure don't deserve an iota of sympathy.Originally posted by sggirl07:And hello, when he was thinking about patching up with me, trying to woo me back, he is counting his opportunity costs with a particular girl. how sincere is he?
So he's obliged to show you how sincere he is because of your suffering in the past? If you've such a calculative mindset to ascertain his love for you (assuming it exists), what's there to suggest this relationship is actually going to stand the test of time when it's so easily rocked by your insecurities? -
sggirl 07, you have obviously moved on while he is still clinging on to the past. That's good news. As for him, just don't be soft and give in to tempations by meeting him. Because who knows just that one time may be enough for u to be deceived by him once again.
I have never been sure how married men can tell other girls that they love them, when they said the same things to their wives and promise their wives to love in good or bad health, till death do they part when they first got married. I am not saying its the 3rd party or anyone's fault, but obviously, its best not to fall for married persons. -
i think that's the point ba. It IS too much and the reason why I think you need to 'seek subjective opinion' to affirm that yes he is treating you in an inferior way, yes he does not respect you - is that you have been treated this way for so long, you have gone on a paradigm shift.Originally posted by sggirl07:rather, i am writing here to seek subjective opinion whether this is too much. after sometimes, reading what i write about my own situation, i do get enlightenment from the reading.
That's really dangerous becos the moment you go under the'control' of this person again, you will slowly slowly take the route to be convinced that everything is 'alright'
I think he's a loser becos he appears to depend on you for his own emotional stabiliy and ego boost but doesn't seem to invest any of his own in the relationship. He is a person who is too selfish to love anyone except for his own self interest based on what you have told us - all his decisions and choices seem catered for himself only. Occasionally they benefit you but that's incidental. -
Good morning!Originally posted by walesa:Aren't you self-contradicting? You sure don't deserve an iota of sympathy.
So he's obliged to show you how sincere he is because of your suffering in the past? If you've such a calculative mindset to ascertain his love for you (assuming it exists), what's there to suggest this relationship is actually going to stand the test of time when it's so easily rocked by your insecurities?
no, there you go, you are wrong again. he should be showing his sincerity because he wants a relationship.
Sincerity is a essential ingredient in any relationship! I should show my too. no? -
i am not dreaming. i am perhaps delusional....Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:But if u r not dreaming, then why U.......u should noe him better than us.
Hopefully u r not dreaming, but this case is clear cut, it is too much. -
ya.... i went back to read what he sms me, he really said that...Originally posted by storywolf:[quote]Originally posted by sggirl07:
[b]this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
[/]/quote]
Read and think !!!
He is restraining himself from getting involve in other relationship waiting for u !!!! If he is saying that - gal dump this asshole !!!
This sentence already say - he is has been looking out and considering others .... just he give u first choice ....!!! After what you been throught with him ....and he still say that ........ dump him !!! He does not deserve someone like you.
i really think he was thinking and evaluating that other girl, cos he keep telling me about how the other girl tempted him -
The young people, probably know the simplest, yet the truest thing.Originally posted by popikachu:I guess this is the fourth time you made a thread in AA about your relationship with him.
Just want to tell you that, being happy is the most important.
Why force yourself something when you are not happy?
Love should be bringing happiness. -
Yes, he is always trying to avoid to clarify issues. Always. Last time, now or maybe the future too.Originally posted by Ms Poh:Why waste your time waiting and waiting if he does not show his sincerity? Do think you still harbour hopes of him and writing about him here in this forum? He seems to be just trying to delay the time by avoiding to clarify the issue and to prove his determination to resolve the problem by giving you the evidence.
You make perfect sense. Yes, why waste my time when he is not even sincere? -
Yeah, he read this thread but dont even dare to defend himself. And his best friend, always defending him, he also doesnt speak up this time.Originally posted by GermKiller:Wah u all say until this guy like raped the girl like that!
All i can say to u guys is get off your moral high horse.
Do u guys know this fella?
Dunno right!
You guys are only hearing 1 side of the story then condem people until like he damn jialat . Best part u guys dun even know this fella.
Does it mean that he divorce his wife for another girl he is an asshole? -
yes, that was the sentence that ignited the anger in me.Originally posted by Isis:Divorce man can feel lonely, esp he is now left with nothing but you. Perhaps he has this fear of losing you and fear of loneliness/other factors just override this prior agreement of not meeting up. How old is he? Can he easily find a new girlfriend now? Why does he want to meet you? is it for physical contacts?
If he truly love you, he shouldn't say "refrain from finding other gals." i find it rather unpleasant to put fro..
And oh yeah, do you think it is possible for him to suffer some sort of emotional stress when his marriage is breaking apart? And is that why he refused to see u for there particular period of time..plus there are many factors, speculation will leads to somewhere or nowhere at all.. Did he apologized to you and did u ask him why since you are so bother with it till to the present day..
Communication and understanding is important in any relationship.
yes, i asked him. But he was evasive. -
Thank you girl for assuring me that.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:i think that's the point ba. It IS too much and the reason why I think you need to 'seek subjective opinion' to affirm that yes he is treating you in an inferior way, yes he does not respect you - is that you have been treated this way for so long, you have gone on a paradigm shift.
That's really dangerous becos the moment you go under the'control' of this person again, you will slowly slowly take the route to be convinced that everything is 'alright'
I think he's a loser becos he appears to depend on you for his own emotional stabiliy and ego boost but doesn't seem to invest any of his own in the relationship. He is a person who is too selfish to love anyone except for his own self interest based on what you have told us - all his decisions and choices seem catered for himself only. Occasionally they benefit you but that's incidental.
Yes, you are right. he confused me with all those rubbish. That he is innocent, he didnt mean to lie to me that he is married, he didnt mean to lie to me that he has no kids (cos i asked very straightforwarly "are you married" he said no, and i went on asking "do you have kids" he said no again). And he said those things (he insisted they are not lies) cos he was a victim of circumstances, cos he spoke too fast! But hey, has he considered i am his victim? that he really HAD LIED to me?
He is perpetually evasive. And when cornered, he lied. i remember how i cornered him when we were in a relationship. when i begin to suspect some thing was wrong, i asked him again "are you married, he tried to evade, but no, i wont take that for an answer, he said, no, he is not married.
He perpetually treating me in such ways i deem unreasonable, forever evasive, and yes, i went through the paradigm shift. i began to think that i was wrong, maybe. i begin to question myself. This morning, i woke up, and after reading your reply, i begin to understand, perhaps that is why so many gfs or wives help their bfs or husbands do ridiculous things, even like killing or raping.
Yes, he is forever depending on others for his own emotional stability and ego. he told me that pretty girl is so innoncent that she innoncently stroke his face and thigh, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. she is always trying to hold his hands, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. OH com'on, she works in entertainment line. she, only 21 years ol, had a 48 years old japanese bf before. does he think that she is so innocent? has no knowledge of seduction? or is he so innocent? he is not borned yesterday. he is in his 30s! or is he quietly stroking his own ego? yes, he depends on her, me and other girls for his own emotional stability and ego. And if that makes someone a loser, he then will be one.
Is he selffish? this is a qn i keep asking myself.
you made several very valid points. Thank you for your assurance, for telling me this is too much, for assuring me that he is disrespecting me and treating me as more inferior than him, for i am no longer able to tell black from white anymore. -
Since you want a confirmation, he is never sincere to begin with.
If you are sincere in loving someone, you will not use the excuse that there is another girl to threaten her. -
true...Originally posted by rainee:Since you want a confirmation, he is never sincere to begin with.
If you are sincere in loving someone, you will not use the excuse that there is another girl to threaten her.
honestly, i find myself delusional. after so much had happened, why do i still refuse to believe that he had never been sincere to even begin with? -
It is very pointless to point fingers at the guy since by psychological effect, we will always side with the one giving the story. It is sinful to give nasty comments on that guy when we are not inside the story. We dun have the power to judge people.
sggirls07, after so many posts by you, isn't it obvious that u still like him? Even if now hundreds of ppl say u should leave the guy, You will still not be able to convince urself.
If you think a bad guy is gd, he is gd. if u think a gd guy is bad, he is bad. All i can say is live with no regrets. The purpose of you writing this thread is simple. You like him, but you are resisting it forcefully. Why? If you are depending on sgforums ppl to give u a push, then sad to say you will only get biased results. -
becos to do that, u will start to question your own self worth. what's wrong with yourself that this person treat u this way? issit u are this .. issit u are that?Originally posted by sggirl07:true...
honestly, i find myself delusional. after so much had happened, why do i still refuse to believe that he had never been sincere to even begin with?
u need to understand that... his lack of sincerity and your worth as a person is two different things. Not related. -
no leh... i am not writing for that reason. Definitely not.Originally posted by necrolyt3:It is very pointless to point fingers at the guy since by psychological effect, we will always side with the one giving the story. It is sinful to give nasty comments on that guy when we are not inside the story. We dun have the power to judge people.
sggirls07, after so many posts by you, isn't it obvious that u still like him? Even if now hundreds of ppl say u should leave the guy, You will still not be able to convince urself.
If you think a bad guy is gd, he is gd. if u think a gd guy is bad, he is bad. All i can say is live with no regrets. The purpose of you writing this thread is simple. You like him, but you are resisting it forcefully. Why? If you are depending on sgforums ppl to give u a push, then sad to say you will only get biased results.
if you really want to know the truth, read shrodingcat's post. -
you really understand what i think...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:becos to do that, u will start to question your own self worth. what's wrong with yourself that this person treat u this way? issit u are this .. issit u are that?
u need to understand that... his lack of sincerity and your worth as a person is two different things. Not related.
and you are so enlightening.... -
been through something similarOriginally posted by sggirl07:you really understand what i think...
and you are so enlightening....
so its not like i'm specially perceptive
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to TS.. u have more opportunites outside..
dun let this guy be the only tree.