Loving a person without reason.. How truth is it?
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I ask u all. WHo can stand a gal who deem whatever her reason and show attitude to u when she feels like it? No matter how many chemistry,how many love,u will break down one day if they is deemed no improvement on her....Originally posted by soul_rage:Depends.
I never did set out loving her coz she is willing to change for me. (How would I know that right at the start?)
It was thru the years, when she realized that I meant it for her own good, that she begins to change for the better.
And it is not for me.
I want her to be a better person and succeed in life, for herself, not for me.
Imagine she shout at u inside a pack bus for no good reason,how will yr ego hurt?
This is where reason and rational comes in... Love is blind,my foot! -
Basically CannyOng,
All I want to say is, you mentioned in this post, you don't believe in loving a person without reason
All I want to tell you is, it exists. I love my wife without a logical reason.
Whether my wife is like your friend or not, its not important.
The fact remains. There is not one day where I wouldn't choose to be with my wife. -
You are using one extreme case to stereotype that love without a reason does not exist.Originally posted by CannyOng:I ask u all. WHo can stand a gal who deem whatever her reason and show attitude to u when she feels like it? No matter how many chemistry,how many love,u will break down one day if they is deemed no improvement on her....
Imagine she shout at u inside a pack bus for no good reason,how will yr ego hurt?
This is where reason and rational comes in... Love is blind,my foot!
That's all I am telling you. -
Devil1976 say is nicely..Originally posted by soul_rage:Basically CannyOng,
All I want to say is, you mentioned in this post, you don't believe in loving a person without reason
All I want to tell you is, it exists. I love my wife without a logical reason.
Whether my wife is like your friend or not, its not important.
The fact remains. There is not one day where I wouldn't choose to be with my wife.Without reason at all? It's total bullsh|t. There could be reasons, just a matter of conscious or subconscious ones....
I think that one fits yr case! -
Isn't extreme case consider in too? Extreme case cannot be count in for love is blind?Originally posted by soul_rage:You are using one extreme case to stereotype that love without a reason does not exist.
That's all I am telling you. -
as I mentioned before, if you insist on everything must have a reasoning, I have nothing else to say.Originally posted by CannyOng:I think that one fits yr case!
If you look at the definition of reasoning, its more of the conscious mind finding a logic and rationale for everything.
So Devil1976 is twisting the definition of reasoning to attempt to say that everything has a reason. -
I just hope most wouldn't be so mislead on yr so call case! Which is why I am so insistance on my stand. I seen so many people jump into love blindly and have a hell of blue/black....Originally posted by soul_rage:as I mentioned before, if you insist on everything must have a reasoning, I have nothing else to say.
If you look at the definition of reasoning, its more of the conscious mind finding a logic and rationale for everything.
So Devil1976 is twisting the definition of reasoning to attempt to say that everything has a reason.
Btw,Devil1976 says it perfect and never twisted it!
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In your first posting, you said thisOriginally posted by CannyOng:Isn't extreme case consider in too? Extreme case cannot be count in for love is blind?
"Just like my friend case,her foul temper will pissed off a lof of pontential lover. I am feeling that guy is suffering cos of his intuition of loving a person without reason.
I don't believe love a person base on feeling... "
I am telling you that I believe in loving a person based on feelings.
Just coz of one unreasonable lady, you decide that such a thing don't exists, is a little too far for me.
At the end of the day:
Love can be blind
Lust can be blind
Love can be coz of reasons
Lust can be coz of reasons
Love can be coz of feelings.
I believe in the last, which to me is the higest level of love. -
Then I hope people don't get mislead by your so-called case too.Originally posted by CannyOng:I just hope most wouldn't be so mislead on yr so call case! Which is why I am so insistance on my stand. I seen so many people jump into love blindly and have a hell of blue/black....
Btw,Devil1976 says it perfect and never twisted it!
Please don't discredit my love for my wife. That's not for you to comment.
Similarly, I think what Devil1976 says is bullsh|t too. He claims what others says is just concepts. But he forgot to look himself in the mirror. What he says is also conceptual. -
Without pain, there can be no pleasureOriginally posted by CannyOng:I just hope most wouldn't be so mislead on yr so call case! Which is why I am so insistance on my stand. I seen so many people jump into love blindly and have a hell of blue/black....
Btw,Devil1976 says it perfect and never twisted it!
Without sadness, there can be no joy
Without hurt, there can be no love.
Life's like that. So you advocate people to avoid truly loving someone, coz they are afraid to be hurt?
Then why don't you advocate singlehood for everyone then? Isn't that even better?
Just have pure hardcore sex. No love. Then there won't be pain.
"Pain is a part of the growing up process." -
I have one simple question for you.Originally posted by CannyOng:Isn't extreme case consider in too? Extreme case cannot be count in for love is blind?
If your wife has a diak and a vagina down there.
Will you still love her without any reason ?
If your answer is no, then it is one reason why you love her.
For being just a woman. -
interesting questionOriginally posted by jojobeach:I have one simple question for you.
If your wife has a diak and a vagina down there.
Will you still love her without any reason ?
If your answer is no, then it is one reason why you love her.
For being just a woman.
I concede defeat if we go right down to the bare essentials. I love my wife coz she is a woman.
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There, we have it.Originally posted by soul_rage:interesting question
I concede defeat if we go right down to the bare essentials. I love my wife coz she is a woman.
The difference is that you don't need much from a woman to make you happy.
Different people has different level of expectations in love.
The higher the expectations, the more reasons one needs to fall in love with that someone. -
well if you bring it to the lowest level, that she is a woman, that's a reason why I love her, well, I guess I can't argue against thatOriginally posted by jojobeach:There, we have it.
The difference is that you don't need much from a woman to make you happy.
Different people has different level of expectations in love.
The higher the expectations, the more reasons one needs to fall in love with that someone.
And in a way you may be right. Some people may expect their other half to have a career, cash, condo, etc before they even consider 'falling in love' with that person.
Somehow, if falling in love becomes having to fulfill certain criteria, then I wouldn't want that sort of love. -
Soul-rage isn't the only one who believes in love and willingly to work for it. I am too! You said you have seen many people jump into love blindly and turned out bad. Did you hear both sides of the story or just one? Normally, when a relationship/marriage fails, both sides have to take responsibility. The normal case is usually one for being so wilful, the other for failing to see the problem and asks for separation instead of tackling the problem.Originally posted by CannyOng:I just hope most wouldn't be so mislead on yr so call case! Which is why I am so insistance on my stand. I seen so many people jump into love blindly and have a hell of blue/black....
Btw,Devil1976 says it perfect and never twisted it!
Bear in mind that guys and gals have completely different mindset. It is usually good during the dating part, but as time goes, more and more ugly side of the person is revealed. Does one call it 'quits' after they realised the ugly part, or just accept and work on it?
Unfortunately, social and peer pressure has molded us into "certain expectations" of what love is and what to expect from it. When we don't have what other couples have, we give up trying. Love is always between 2 persons and always will be. Don't compare. Anyone ever seen a couple in their sixties still holding hands? That's because at their age, nobody is around to tell them what to do, their friends would be too few to compare notes, their expectations are few and lastly, they realise they will be there for each other until the end. That is what love is. -
Hi Fustrated_Guy,Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:soul-rage, I have to agree with all your posts.
As of now, I am helping my wife change for the better, no matter how difficult it may seem, and there's improvement
Like yourself, everytime I meet her, I would think that I still pak tor with her. Yep, everyone has different way of showing love. And when it comes, you will like it(don't only think of sex)! Although arguments are ugly, it's the improvement or positive 'aftermath' effect that binds a relationship even stronger. My wife, who always likes screaming divorce, has stopped doing so(I hope it's permanent). Even when we had a very bad fight, she does not mention it liao.
Nowadays, people say there is no love. How much of that is influenced by other people? Television, Internet, "screams of freedom and liberty" from other cultures. All these seem to transform us into impatient, speedy self-gratifying, materialistic animals. Before we tell other people there's no such thing as love, perhaps we should look at ourselves if we can give or are deserving of such love.
Welcome back!! So glad tat u & ur wife hav made it to another level now!!
I hav been wantin to know how's everythin at ur side after tat thread. Now im happy to know ur prob has now been gettin smaller. I see, quarrels still occur, but at least there's no threatenin. Really happy for u!!
May u & ur wife live in bliss til the end! -
I beg to differ.Originally posted by waliao:love is just a word... anyone can just say it. U can say it to a dog... u can say it to ur enemy..... u can say it to a stranger if u dare.
Indeed, love is simply a word.. But personally, L.O.V.E, to me is a very very strong word. It HAS to be comin from my heart. Otherwise, i wont say it. The most i'll say "like". To date, there aint many pple to whom i have said "I LOVE U".
EXACTLY!! This is one thing i dun understand.Originally posted by soul_rage:And I agree with your final statement. Well said
"Before we tell other people there's no such thing as love, perhaps we should look at ourselves if we can give or are deserving of such love"
Many times, we blame others, when we never look at ourselves. Its like the selfish male that goes around sleeping with gals, and expects his future wife to be a virgin.
I have always sincerely & truly believe that, when u love somebody, u WILL CHANGE for him/her. U dun hav to do alot, & tat person will know wat is good in order to maintain a r/s. It all come from the HEART. It will do nobody good if u force the other party to change.Originally posted by CannyOng:I help u find yr reason of yr love for yr wife.
Reason: She is willing to change for u
Imagine she is like my fiery friend, F*ck(scold) u upsidedown whenever she deems happy and there seems no improvement of her. How will u feel? I will wonder will u still say love is abt chemistry?? -
Wld u believe it if there's actually pple in this world who wld do it? It's ridiculous, but it's true! We can nvr understand cos we r not in their shoes. From my point of view now..I wont.Originally posted by CannyOng:I ask u all. WHo can stand a gal who deem whatever her reason and show attitude to u when she feels like it? No matter how many chemistry,how many love,u will break down one day if they is deemed no improvement on her....
Imagine she shout at u inside a pack bus for no good reason,how will yr ego hurt?
This is where reason and rational comes in... Love is blind,my foot!
But I wont guarantee tat i wont tolerate tat if i love him at that time. It ll b onli after tat then i realise i am silly/stupid to hav tolerate tat.
But i wont hav regrets. Being in love, be it good or bad, makes us learn. I hav failed r/s, but i hav learnt alot from them. & I believe i'll fare better in my nxt r/s! -
I know this world has alot of unhappiness or even lack of the feeling of love now..& we hav seen alot of fights, quarrels, divorce..etc. But those belong to one half of the world!
The other half of the world is L.O.V.E. Love is always ard, it's jus not as aggressive as hatred which happen daily & affecting every pple, forcing them to believe love is fake, it doesnt exist.
On the other hand, love is not an aggressive force, it's gentle & warm. Love wont force u to accept it, but if u do, it wll always b enuf to share.
I do hav my fears & realistic point of views from the negative half of the world, which is happenin everyday. But why cant we give the feeling of love a benefit of a doubt?? If there are pple like fustrated_guy & Soul_rage who hav good examples of wat love can do, why cant we jus believe tat it existed in their situation & we will have tat too?? -
In my entire life, I have only seriously liked 3 girls, and love only 1.Originally posted by RedizAlertz:I have always sincerely & truly believe that, when u love somebody, u WILL CHANGE for him/her. U dun hav to do alot, & tat person will know wat is good in order to maintain a r/s. It all come from the HEART. It will do nobody good if u force the other party to change.
To me, I define love as a very sacred word, and I won't use it like the younger people do nowadays.
Love to me is being able to accept the other half for whom she is, and to help her mend her weaknesses, so that she can be an even better person.
Its very easy to like someone, so long as there is attraction. But to love is to see past that attraction and understanding that there is no such thing as a perfect being, and to accept the flaws and also help the person improve on them.
CannyOng, you think I suffer no pain? You think my life is only about beauty and joy and pleasure?
As I mentioned before, there can be no pleasure without pain, no joy without sadness... There has always been quarrels, arguments, etc.
Its just that I choose to see life in a better/simpler light, and to love my wife for a simple reason, to make her happy and make her smile. To me, the greatest joy everyday is that smile on her face when she sees me, or when I have done something for her.
"Everything is only as simple as how you want to make it out to be, or as complex as how you want to make it out to be"
Just a few negative examples, and you want the whole world to believe in hardcore sex and perm singlehood. -
Hi Rediz,Originally posted by RedizAlertz:Hi Fustrated_Guy,
Welcome back!! So glad tat u & ur wife hav made it to another level now!!
I hav been wantin to know how's everythin at ur side after tat thread. Now im happy to know ur prob has now been gettin smaller. I see, quarrels still occur, but at least there's no threatenin. Really happy for u!!
May u & ur wife live in bliss til the end!
Thanks
Yeah. We still have fights, and some which pissed her to the core. But she did not threaten anymore. Call me crazy, but I was actually laughing inside(during the fight). She did manage to change. Now I try to reason with her and let her know what I doing. Couples fight and have good times as well. Try to remember the good times instead of broadcasting the negative thoughts in the mind, so we can all live happily ever after. -
Nice one, bro! Same thoughts exactly, nothing to add.Originally posted by soul_rage:In my entire life, I have only seriously liked 3 girls, and love only 1.
To me, I define love as a very sacred word, and I won't use it like the younger people do nowadays.
Love to me is being able to accept the other half for whom she is, and to help her mend her weaknesses, so that she can be an even better person.
Its very easy to like someone, so long as there is attraction. But to love is to see past that attraction and understanding that there is no such thing as a perfect being, and to accept the flaws and also help the person improve on them.
CannyOng, you think I suffer no pain? You think my life is only about beauty and joy and pleasure?
As I mentioned before, there can be no pleasure without pain, no joy without sadness... There has always been quarrels, arguments, etc.
Its just that I choose to see life in a better/simpler light, and to love my wife for a simple reason, to make her happy and make her smile. To me, the greatest joy everyday is that smile on her face when she sees me, or when I have done something for her.
"Everything is only as simple as how you want to make it out to be, or as complex as how you want to make it out to be"
Just a few negative examples, and you want the whole world to believe in hardcore sex and perm singlehood.
Seeing my wife smile with genuine happiness and how she improves is very rewarding! As the saying goes, "she happy, then I happy loh". -
Now that she no longer uses ultimatums.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Hi Rediz,
Thanks
Yeah. We still have fights, and some which pissed her to the core. But she did not threaten anymore. Call me crazy, but I was actually laughing inside(during the fight). She did manage to change. Now I try to reason with her and let her know what I doing. Couples fight and have good times as well. Try to remember the good times instead of broadcasting the negative thoughts in the mind, so we can all live happily ever after.
Isn't it about time you work on not pissing her off to the core ?
When you are "laughing inside", I hope you meant that you are happy, not gloating. -
aiya, its the same as how you would disturb your cat sometimes.Originally posted by jojobeach:Now that she no longer uses ultimatums.
Isn't it about time you work on not pissing her off to the core ?
When you are "laughing inside", I hope you meant that you are happy, not gloating.
You pull her paw until she gets irritated, but its not meant to hurt her.
Sometimes, arguments are fine, so long as it is nothing serious, and its just to have fun sometimes.
My wife sometimes deliberately argues with me just to make me irritated (and she is laughing inside as well, I know) -
Trying lah. Like I said, sometimes I really don't know why she pissed off. Guys usually don't jing jing ji jiao so much things mah, girls are different.Originally posted by jojobeach:Now that she no longer uses ultimatums.
Isn't it about time you work on not pissing her off to the core ?
When you are "laughing inside", I hope you meant that you are happy, not gloating.
I am happy, not gloating.