Just feel the need to let this out..
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its ok de la.. everyone makes mistake... i think you're pretty cool with this.. seems you can handle this kind of thing.. its good to know that you can realise the truth...Originally posted by tinuviel07:yup i think so too.. just that i didn't see it then..
focus on wat u really wan and also be aware of ppl around u... especialy for guys, dont easily trust them.. some guys will do watever things just to get your heart but at last they dun appreciate you.
IM a guy,, so...dont trust me -
erm.. after praying they decided not to ? wow .. the power of praying is ultimate..Originally posted by dumbdumb!:ya, dun confuse love with money, unless you're married.
like in my church, got 2 friends v good friends, at first they wanted to go into business together, but after praying abt it, they decided not to.
sometimes money matters v complicated -
Your situation was quite similar to my last rs.Originally posted by tinuviel07:My first post. Have always been reading around the forums..
Well just feel the need to let this out..
Been with this guy for 1 year 5 months.. He liked me before I like him.. After asking four times, I finally accepted him.. He was everything I could want at that time.. We had the same interests, we can talk about anything.. Basically we were on the same frequency..
About three months into the relationship, I moved in with him. Because, while staying with my parents, they didn't really let me go out late.. But since he finished work pretty late at about 11pm most times, I'm forced to make a choice.. So I guess that pushed me to move in with him.. Previously I stayed in hall in uni..
Most of my time were spend with him since we live together.. He used to manage a tuition centre near the place where we live, so I'll always be in the office with him while he taught.. as time goes by, because he needed tutors and the financial situation wasn't very good.. I took up tuition classes for him.. The money I earned will go into paying for the car loan, for our room rental, office rental and so on.. Of course he's paying too..
Things were supposedly well.. We spent all our times together, working hard, going out sometimes. But as the financial situation got worse, he became busier and although we were together most of the time, it was me studying or teaching and him doing his teaching as well.. It wasn't what I would call 'quality time' I guess. But at that time, I thought that if I love him, all these were just nothing much..
In around july/august this year, we were pretty close with this other couple.. And the four of us decided to go into a new line of business.. Things got started.. In September however, I was pissed with him for an incident and I kinda showed my 'black face' to the other guy (one of the partners). He was telling my ex how angry he was that I showed him my bad mood even if he wasn't the one that I was angry with..
It was a huge incident that my ex and I argued a lot about.. I felt that although it was my fault for not being sensitive enough, my only argument was that I thought that guy was like a close friend so I don't really have to hide my feelings that much.. I was just keeping quiet that day and not like I was throwing my temper on the other guy.. The other guy's argument was that if I could do this to him, I could do this to clients next time and it would be bad..
My ex wanted me to apologise to that guy, but I thought it was a small matter and I didn't see my mistake at that time so I refused.. My ex didn't explained why I was wrong as well..
So I was cut out of the new business.. And mostly because of this incident, my ex suddenly told me he wanted to break up.. I guess because he felt that I could no longer help him in the new business, and money was important to him at this point in time.. Before he broke up with me, he already moved to another girl which was a friend introduced by that guy..
I guess I can't let it go.. because he was so perfect before this incident.. Because I've put in so much emotions, effort into this relationship.. We were planning to get married next year.. So much plans, goals.. The future.. It's just gone like that.. It's hard to accept that a guy who could love you so much could just suddenly do this cruel thing to you..
Because all my times have been spent with him, so the empty voids now are quite unbearable and lots of memories in lots of places..
My ex also left me becoz of so-called "want to concentrate on career" , "money is more impt now than anything". Excuses. If he wants to leave you, he will use all kinds of reasons to push u away.
Abt a week later, I found out that he has a new girl.
Talk abt focus eh?
Babe, move on. No point dwelling on someone who ain't worth it. He might be cruel to you now, but it is better than if you 2 are married.
The MOST DIFFICULT time is the healing part, when you wake up to find him no longer by yourside or you can't talk to him no more. And you feel that a big part of your life is gone. Don't ever succumb to that thinking.
I believe that Family and Friends will be there to help you get on your feet, Not that you need it anyway. If one girl can do it, I don't see why u can't. It's all about how you tune your thinking. No one can help you other than urself.
I am now stronger than before. More clear headed as well.
Give urself some breathing space, do what you always want to do. Slowly, you will realise, he is out of ur mind, out of ur sight, out of ur heart. -
When people are into a relationship it is either love or habit and in this case it is habit.Survive and move on
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i think the part about waking up and finding him no longer by my side and all is so true... i'm alright about it most of the time.. but somehow i always think about the past when i sleep and i'll feel damn bad when i wake up..Originally posted by Nata|ie:Your situation was quite similar to my last rs.
My ex also left me becoz of so-called "want to concentrate on career" , "money is more impt now than anything". Excuses. If he wants to leave you, he will use all kinds of reasons to push u away.
Abt a week later, I found out that he has a new girl.
Talk abt focus eh?
Babe, move on. No point dwelling on someone who ain't worth it. He might be cruel to you now, but it is better than if you 2 are married.
The MOST DIFFICULT time is the healing part, when you wake up to find him no longer by yourside or you can't talk to him no more. And you feel that a big part of your life is gone. Don't ever succumb to that thinking.
I believe that Family and Friends will be there to help you get on your feet, Not that you need it anyway. If one girl can do it, I don't see why u can't. It's all about how you tune your thinking. No one can help you other than urself.
I am now stronger than before. More clear headed as well. Give urself some breathing space, do what you always want to do. Slowly, you will realise, he is out of ur mind, out of ur sight, out of ur heart.
somehow they managed to manipulate me into believing that everything that happened in this rs is my fault.. like him and the people around him.. but like my friend said, bird of a feather flocked together so naturally they will say the same think.. -
Hhaa, I've been thru that mah.Originally posted by tinuviel07:i think the part about waking up and finding him no longer by my side and all is so true... i'm alright about it most of the time.. but somehow i always think about the past when i sleep and i'll feel damn bad when i wake up..
somehow they managed to manipulate me into believing that everything that happened in this rs is my fault.. like him and the people around him.. but like my friend said, bird of a feather flocked together so naturally they will say the same think..
Initially I thot everything was my fault. It was me, myself and I that ruin this rs. But as days go by, the more I think, the more I was convinced that it was him who GAVE ME up. Not the other way round.
Dun let the ppl get to you. No one knows ur RS more than you do. -
Learn your mistake and move on...Originally posted by tinuviel07:My first post. Have always been reading around the forums..
Well just feel the need to let this out..
Been with this guy for 1 year 5 months.. He liked me before I like him.. After asking four times, I finally accepted him.. He was everything I could want at that time.. We had the same interests, we can talk about anything.. Basically we were on the same frequency..
About three months into the relationship, I moved in with him. Because, while staying with my parents, they didn't really let me go out late.. But since he finished work pretty late at about 11pm most times, I'm forced to make a choice.. So I guess that pushed me to move in with him.. Previously I stayed in hall in uni..
Most of my time were spend with him since we live together.. He used to manage a tuition centre near the place where we live, so I'll always be in the office with him while he taught.. as time goes by, because he needed tutors and the financial situation wasn't very good.. I took up tuition classes for him.. The money I earned will go into paying for the car loan, for our room rental, office rental and so on.. Of course he's paying too..
Things were supposedly well.. We spent all our times together, working hard, going out sometimes. But as the financial situation got worse, he became busier and although we were together most of the time, it was me studying or teaching and him doing his teaching as well.. It wasn't what I would call 'quality time' I guess. But at that time, I thought that if I love him, all these were just nothing much..
In around july/august this year, we were pretty close with this other couple.. And the four of us decided to go into a new line of business.. Things got started.. In September however, I was pissed with him for an incident and I kinda showed my 'black face' to the other guy (one of the partners). He was telling my ex how angry he was that I showed him my bad mood even if he wasn't the one that I was angry with..
It was a huge incident that my ex and I argued a lot about.. I felt that although it was my fault for not being sensitive enough, my only argument was that I thought that guy was like a close friend so I don't really have to hide my feelings that much.. I was just keeping quiet that day and not like I was throwing my temper on the other guy.. The other guy's argument was that if I could do this to him, I could do this to clients next time and it would be bad..
My ex wanted me to apologise to that guy, but I thought it was a small matter and I didn't see my mistake at that time so I refused.. My ex didn't explained why I was wrong as well..
So I was cut out of the new business.. And mostly because of this incident, my ex suddenly told me he wanted to break up.. I guess because he felt that I could no longer help him in the new business, and money was important to him at this point in time.. Before he broke up with me, he already moved to another girl which was a friend introduced by that guy..
I guess I can't let it go.. because he was so perfect before this incident.. Because I've put in so much emotions, effort into this relationship.. We were planning to get married next year.. So much plans, goals.. The future.. It's just gone like that.. It's hard to accept that a guy who could love you so much could just suddenly do this cruel thing to you..
Because all my times have been spent with him, so the empty voids now are quite unbearable and lots of memories in lots of places..
I think u shouldn't have devoted so much energy and time on him... never trust a person wholeheartedly even if they are ur loved one... perhaps maybe the only exception is ur family.
I feel sorry for u but things still goes on... hope u find another better guy in the future...
Btw, never cohabit with a guy even if u feel that he is "safe". NEVER. Guy who ask for cohabitation are not decent... in my opinion... Living together should only be done if and only if u are married...
Aiya.. just move on.... life is like that -
Originally posted by Uncertain:
what abt girls asking for cohabitation?? Also indecent???
Learn your mistake and move on...
I think u shouldn't have devoted so much energy and time on him... never trust a person wholeheartedly even if they are ur loved one... perhaps maybe the only exception is ur family.
I feel sorry for u but things still goes on... hope u find another better guy in the future...
Btw, never cohabit with a guy even if u feel that he is "safe". NEVER. [b]Guy who ask for cohabitation are not decent... in my opinion... Living together should only be done if and only if u are married...
Aiya.. just move on.... life is like that[/b]
If the couple is already planning for marriage, I don't see why not?
IMHO: If I can't live with that person under the same roof? How can I marry tat person? Living habits are very important to me.
But different ppl have different cultures and values, as well as perception.
My take is that Cohabitation is juz temporary. Never make it permanent. That's all. -
when u think of your biggest nightmare, this thing is just a very small piece of it.. friends.. lovers... sometimes can be very bullshyt.. u'll know how to handle when u experienced most of frens and love stuff
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Clear conscience and no regrets!Originally posted by tinuviel07:i think the part about waking up and finding him no longer by my side and all is so true... i'm alright about it most of the time.. but somehow i always think about the past when i sleep and i'll feel damn bad when i wake up..
somehow they managed to manipulate me into believing that everything that happened in this rs is my fault.. like him and the people around him.. but like my friend said, bird of a feather flocked together so naturally they will say the same think..
Who cares what those little ones think?
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When a couple break up, nobody wants to be the bad guy/girl.Originally posted by tinuviel07:i think the part about waking up and finding him no longer by my side and all is so true... i'm alright about it most of the time.. but somehow i always think about the past when i sleep and i'll feel damn bad when i wake up..
somehow they managed to manipulate me into believing that everything that happened in this rs is my fault.. like him and the people around him.. but like my friend said, bird of a feather flocked together so naturally they will say the same think..
Fingers will point to each other.
It's always the other's fault, mostly.
His friends and family will side with him.
Your friends and family will side with you.
Because that's what friends and family are suppose to do.
All I can say is. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Even if one party is right, it still doesn't make everything alright.
Thinking back about what had been or what should have been is just going to drain the spirits out of you.
Think about what you can do for your future. This is what you can control.
Sulking on a rocking chair, brings you nowhere, just gives you something to do. -
yeah.. i'm just glad i admitted my parts of the mistakes.. while he didn't.. i dont know.. it makes me feel more relieved..Originally posted by jojobeach:When a couple break up, nobody wants to be the bad guy/girl.
Fingers will point to each other.
It's always the other's fault, mostly.
His friends and family will side with him.
Your friends and family will side with you.
Because that's what friends and family are suppose to do.
All I can say is. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Even if one party is right, it still doesn't make everything alright.
Thinking back about what had been or what should have been is just going to drain the spirits out of you.
Think about what you can do for your future. This is what you can control.
Sulking on a rocking chair, brings you nowhere, just gives you something to do. -
Originally posted by tinuviel07:yeah.. i'm just glad i admitted my parts of the mistakes.. while he didn't.. i dont know.. it makes me feel more relieved..
u up so early? -
just came back home =xOriginally posted by seotiblizzard:
u up so early? -
You're doing good. Admitting your mistakes is the beginning to becoming a better person.Originally posted by tinuviel07:yeah.. i'm just glad i admitted my parts of the mistakes.. while he didn't.. i dont know.. it makes me feel more relieved..
The next guy that comes along is a lucky man. -
wrong post....lol
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Breaking up and trying to move on from someone u love is gonna take very long, about months, trying to stop thinking about the good times u had. it feels like u can never fall in love again. because the guy u knew is so perfect until it got bad.
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I guess I can somewhat sympathise with you somewhat cos a similar thing happened to me in my last rs... My ex broke off with me cos she told me her 'priorities' changed... the break up was quite messy, but time does heal all wounds, just be patient and concentrate on yourself now...
You're still in uni I take it? Concentrate on that... get a good degree, stable job and you never know, maybe this time you'll find someone who's more deserving of you.. And at times when you feel alone, just take a step back and look around you, you've got friends and family to count on... I can dare say that if I didn't have my friends around me when I went though the break up, I wouldn't be in a much better shape than I am in right now...
Recovery takes time, so take this time to pamper yourself, I frankly believe that you deserve it... You've done quite a lot for him, and yet he didn't appreciate it... And I can truly sympathise with that... Quite similar to my previous situation...
Anyway, just take your time now to review your goals in life, do what you've always wanted to do, and spend time with your friends... They give some of the best support you can ever get... =) -
True to the very sense, however we must learn to weight the pros and cons of broken love affair, saddness and disappointment is the bad side of break up, but look at it objectively, what have you learnt in life, firstly, you should have learn that nobody is perfect, that love is an addict emotion, that we should handle it with care, that in humans relationship we should take it at face value and not selling out our soul. Secondly, think and ponder as you shall be but do not end up in depression. Look at what to be learn and be smart, if you will to fall into another breakup in love, then you have totally failed to heel your lessons of love.Originally posted by naz92:Breaking up and trying to move on from someone u love is gonna take very long, about months, trying to stop thinking about the good times u had. it feels like u can never fall in love again. because the guy u knew is so perfect until it got bad.
On the other hands, most gals or even guys tend to seek comfort and love immediately after certain breakup, that lead to another breakup sooner than expected. This is because humans need love and in a rash to seek it, they fell inotto trap after trap of fail relationship. We must therefore not be led by love, love is not blind, it is you who are blind to see the real function of love that is mend to be good. It is suppose to be a win win situation where both should win, live, cherish and treasure it.
Angel
For my lord, without love, we might as well perish. -
yes that pretty much sums up how i feel right now..Originally posted by naz92:Breaking up and trying to move on from someone u love is gonna take very long, about months, trying to stop thinking about the good times u had. it feels like u can never fall in love again. because the guy u knew is so perfect until it got bad. -
oh yeah the favourite phrase.. priorities changed.. yep he kept using that phrase to me.. friends and family are important.. but i guess they can't be with u 24/7 and it tends to get lonely..Originally posted by LH83:I guess I can somewhat sympathise with you somewhat cos a similar thing happened to me in my last rs... My ex broke off with me cos she told me her 'priorities' changed... the break up was quite messy, but time does heal all wounds, just be patient and concentrate on yourself now...
You're still in uni I take it? Concentrate on that... get a good degree, stable job and you never know, maybe this time you'll find someone who's more deserving of you.. And at times when you feel alone, just take a step back and look around you, you've got friends and family to count on... I can dare say that if I didn't have my friends around me when I went though the break up, I wouldn't be in a much better shape than I am in right now...
Recovery takes time, so take this time to pamper yourself, I frankly believe that you deserve it... You've done quite a lot for him, and yet he didn't appreciate it... And I can truly sympathise with that... Quite similar to my previous situation...
Anyway, just take your time now to review your goals in life, do what you've always wanted to do, and spend time with your friends... They give some of the best support you can ever get... =) -
Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel - I found myself in similar shoes just weeks before you did; and how you feel right now pretty much sums up how I feel as well.
I know, this is not exactly good advice, but really, the best way to get over this is to keep reminding yourself how in demand you are. As a lady, the easiest way for you is to just go clubbing with a bunch of friends - you don't have to tell them anything beyond the fact that you are single and available. Boys will come.
I've just been hitting on girl after girl with varying success; I've probably been blacklisted by the female population. From girls on the street, to girls online. TBH, doesn't quite numb the feeling of emptiness because of all the memories, but it sure is refreshing - even being rejected feels great because previously, I couldn't even engage in subtle flirting. And when I score, not that it leads anywhere but it feels fantastic knowing that after 4 years of being off the market, I am still sellable.
I will testify to the wonders of praying - not that it provides a positive answer but it calms you down to a point where you are able to rationalise and hear the things you have been saying, and what you really want to say. It was during praying that I realised that I didn't want my ex back no matter what; more importantly, I realised it was not my fault. Totally over my feelings for her. Please distinguish that from my feelings of emptiness (that's because 4 years of my life just went down the drain (in sense of personal relationships)). -
haha i know what u mean.. even tho everybody's been telling me how he's not worthy of me, looks n character-wise, i will still feel like a little inferior? like u know keep wondering why did he choose the other girl, why not me bla bla..Originally posted by sgx088:Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel - I found myself in similar shoes just weeks before you did; and how you feel right now pretty much sums up how I feel as well.
I know, this is not exactly good advice, but really, the best way to get over this is to keep reminding yourself how in demand you are. As a lady, the easiest way for you is to just go clubbing with a bunch of friends - you don't have to tell them anything beyond the fact that you are single and available. Boys will come.
I've just been hitting on girl after girl with varying success; I've probably been blacklisted by the female population. From girls on the street, to girls online. TBH, doesn't quite numb the feeling of emptiness because of all the memories, but it sure is refreshing - even being rejected feels great because previously, I couldn't even engage in subtle flirting. And when I score, not that it leads anywhere but it feels fantastic knowing that after 4 years of being off the market, I am still sellable.
I will testify to the wonders of praying - not that it provides a positive answer but it calms you down to a point where you are able to rationalise and hear the things you have been saying, and what you really want to say. It was during praying that I realised that I didn't want my ex back no matter what; more importantly, I realised it was not my fault. Totally over my feelings for her. Please distinguish that from my feelings of emptiness (that's because 4 years of my life just went down the drain (in sense of personal relationships)).
i tend to get panic attacks very often in crowded places.. so at these times i'll try to talk to God.. and in a way talk to myself.. sometimes it calms, sometimes it doesn't.. -
My 6th sense telling me you are a person who talks much 1 to 1 but talks less in a group and little shy in group. Just go out with more groups often and u'll get better... everything nees practice no matter how easy it seemsOriginally posted by tinuviel07:haha i know what u mean.. even tho everybody's been telling me how he's not worthy of me, looks n character-wise, i will still feel like a little inferior? like u know keep wondering why did he choose the other girl, why not me bla bla..
i tend to get panic attacks very often in crowded places.. so at these times i'll try to talk to God.. and in a way talk to myself.. sometimes it calms, sometimes it doesn't..
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Before he broke up with me, he already moved to another girl which was a friend introduced by that guy..
