Breakup
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yeah just to add to the list,Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:That's not considered changing yourself.
Changing yourself in an unhealthy manner means that your needs go unfulfilled.
Paying for a meal, sending a girl home, and buying her gifts are simple acts of love.
But forcing yourself to accompany her when you are dead tired is giving in, and stressing yourself too much, and at the same time putting pressure on the girl to be grateful about it, when she may not be.
forever ditching your friends for your gf,
Always putting yourself on hold for a CHANCE to spend time with your gf
and changing most of your personality
These are also not wise. -
Hello, you can't tell whose side are these two parties - your friends and her friends - on ah?
This girl will very likely play you out if you keep hanging on. Sadly I don't think you are in her league. My advice is to bite the bullet and give her up.
If you insist on hanging on and being her spare tyre, please don't come back to whine when she dumps you or two-times you. Always remember that you were a willing party who allowed yourself to be used by her.
BUT if you want to TRY and get her back, the worst thing you can do is to be her stepping mat! Girls like her use you as a comfort pillow - she'll call you when she needs some cheap comfort , and discard you when she has other better guys. The way to keep her interested is to show NO interest. She will likely want what she can't get, and start showing more attention to you.
Once you get to that stage, you will have to decide if such a relationship based on mistrust and games is worth having.Originally posted by L.o.s.t:All my frens are telling me to give up on her while her frens told me to give her some time. -
Ur r/s is at it end... time to let go and move on. Sad as it may seem now, u will get over it and yr late, u will rem this r/s as juz one of the many r/s that you will come across.... but then puppy love is still the sweetest when it come to memory.
The ship had sail... and it wont be coming back...
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wow, very good insightOriginally posted by choco B:Hello, you can't tell whose side are these two parties - your friends and her friends - on ah?
This girl will very likely play you out if you keep hanging on. Sadly I don't think you are in her league. My advice is to bite the bullet and give her up.
If you insist on hanging on and being her spare tyre, please don't come back to whine when she dumps you or two-times you. Always remember that you were a willing party who allowed yourself to be used by her.
BUT if you want to TRY and get her back, the worst thing you can do is to be her stepping mat! Girls like her use you as a comfort pillow - she'll call you when she needs some cheap comfort , and discard you when she has other better guys. The way to keep her interested is to show NO interest. She will likely want what she can't get, and start showing more attention to you.
Once you get to that stage, you will have to decide if such a relationship based on mistrust and games is worth having.
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If she comes back,I hope TS don't take her in. Forget it! SHe is not worth yr effort! It hard to move off when u think she is the one but yr life will completely come to a standstill if u don't budge...Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:She's just infatuated with that guy, and wanted a new breathe of air.
Don't worry dude, I believe within 3 months she will be back to your side.
Don't lose hope! May the love be there forever. -
do not think about a stable relationship until you have a stable career...go study....
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sibei longs~~ nehs but nice to read~~LOLx..as usual what others wil sae..forget it...start a new life ^^
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/me pat pat Master.Originally posted by Master -_-:how is that, being a jerk?
read wrong thread is it?
It's really sad to know when you do so many things for a girl (literally flying to the moon and back) and everything ends up so cruelly for you. And it hurts more, when the girl that you love, hugged and shared kisses with has found someone new and soon, be doing what you have done with her. I've been through what you have been and it doesnt take a less perfect man to fathom what goes on in HER mind. sigh..
Took me 2 weeks to have some senses knocked back into me since that landmark breakup a few years ago and besides, a few months into a r/s doesnt warrant a talk about commitment unless there's true reciprocal feelings about you two.
Cheers -
but u will change wont u?Originally posted by smudgey:yeah just to add to the list,
forever ditching your friends for your gf,
Always putting yourself on hold for a CHANCE to spend time with your gf
and changing most of your personality
These are also not wise.
sry. but i tihnk i still dont understand
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you will change, it is inevitable....Originally posted by yiha093:but u will change wont u?
sry. but i tihnk i still dont understand
the qn is HOW MUCH?
Are you willing to change to a point where the only thing that ppl recognise abt u is your face.... that your whole personality change to suit her? -
To TS enough is enough.
Kena play out by your ex is bad enough.
Kena play out by her again and again is pure dumb.
She must be be the good looking and beautifull type.
Put it this way she can play with other rich and handsome looking guys why chose you?
Life is never fair and you do not have what it takes to handle this type of girls yet. I admit when I was young, I was cheated and dump by this type of girls who say they love you to the moon and stars but their actions only shows that they are willing to sleep around when your back is turn.
Examples of why you should not treat girls well
jojobeach said
"
Lets face it.
You ain't Mr Perfect.
There are many guys who in outsider's eyes is the nice boy next door who got dumped by their evil girlfriends.
The truth is, behind closed doors, the Mr Nice guy , disregarded his gf's feelings and do things to make her feel slighted. While putting on a good guys image in the public.
These Mr Nice Guys just wants to make their ex the witches of eastwicks.
So people will go naturally side with him, pat his backs and give him their sympathy.
So far, you never once describe your own flaws. That in itself tells me loud and clear that you are a fake nice guy.
"
You have done so much for the gal you love and treat her so well. But look at how others wack you so hard for the things you had done. I know how much you have done cos I was in your shoes before.
lets look at another example.
by smudgey
"
It happened to me once, my ex was pretty much Mr Niceguy, donÂ’t get me wrong, he has his temper too and we do quarrel, but he will do whatever in his power to give in to meÂ…. He was willing to change for me. But the thing is, the more he is willing to change, the more he gave in, the more I felt like a !&$&!, I felt demanding, and selfish, and in turn I hated myself.
So I ended it, I decided that I Need someone who will stand up to my demands, and not give in all the time, I need someone whoÂ’ll love himself more so that he will not be ever-willing to change everything abt himself for my sake.
"
The above story only shows why borther to be a nice guy.
Since treating them well and giving in only makes you a better target to be kena dump faster then why be good?
Being nice to the girl you love also kena scold by people who does not understand the effort and time you put it for the girl you love.
These type of gals only make guys wonder why be a good guy when all they want is a real mean guy who plays with their feelings and dump them?
We live in a very sad world where being good s u c k s.
This is only your first relationship. Learn from it and grow up from it.
Cut all contact from her and tell others you dump her and is the end.
The first step of being a proper man is to handle your relationship well.
If you cannot even handle a useless relationship, how are you going out in the working world to work?
Think about what I have say and act upon it.
If you feel my words are useless then just go on with this never ending cycle of kena play out by the so call first gf only loves you but sleeps around with other guys.
Action speaks louder than words. -
she is playing with u. She just need company. And when u are nt by her side, she went to find other guy.. This is wad i am afraid of 6mths later when i go navy and my gf went to u. I also duno wad to do. Can anything teach abt wad to do also??
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u wake me up.. i also kep giving in to my gf thinking just to make her happy..Originally posted by smudgey:Hey TS,
Things happen in the relationship, things change... there's no prevention for that,
were you a jerk? were you a nice guy? was she the bitch? was she the nice one? all these qns only the 2 of u can answer.
What I think is that in any relationship, there is no ONE person who IS the Jerk, and ONE nice person. I believe itÂ’s a little of bothÂ… like in this situation I acted like a jerk, but I was nice in the other situationÂ…
Unlike jojo, I do believe that even if the guy is a nice guy (in general), the gal may still leave.... this is compactibility, chemistry, or as T.Ryousuke mentioned, the Xfactor...
It happened to me once, my ex was pretty much Mr Niceguy, donÂ’t get me wrong, he has his temper too and we do quarrel, but he will do whatever in his power to give in to meÂ…. He was willing to change for me. But the thing is, the more he is willing to change, the more he gave in, the more I felt like a bitch, I felt demanding, and selfish, and in turn I hated myself.
So I ended it, I decided that I Need someone who will stand up to my demands, and not give in all the time, I need someone whoÂ’ll love himself more so that he will not be ever-willing to change everything abt himself for my sake.
I donÂ’t know if this makes sense to u, but that was my side of the breakup. -
Actually IÂ’m starting to see some sense now. Maybe we are just not meant to be together. I never thought she was pretty but she has this innocent feeling whenever we are alone. I canÂ’t describe it but it makes me wanna protect her and make her happy everyday. In fact she always said that IÂ’m the only joy to her in this world and IÂ’m the only one who can make her smile everyday.Originally posted by Guardx:To TS enough is enough.
Kena play out by your ex is bad enough.
Kena play out by her again and again is pure dumb.
She must be be the good looking and beautifull type.
Put it this way she can play with other rich and handsome looking guys why chose you?
Life is never fair and you do not have what it takes to handle this type of girls yet. I admit when I was young, I was cheated and dump by this type of girls who say they love you to the moon and stars but their actions only shows that they are willing to sleep around when your back is turn.
Examples of why you should not treat girls well
jojobeach said
"
Lets face it.
You ain't Mr Perfect.
There are many guys who in outsider's eyes is the nice boy next door who got dumped by their evil girlfriends.
The truth is, behind closed doors, the Mr Nice guy , disregarded his gf's feelings and do things to make her feel slighted. While putting on a good guys image in the public.
These Mr Nice Guys just wants to make their ex the witches of eastwicks.
So people will go naturally side with him, pat his backs and give him their sympathy.
So far, you never once describe your own flaws. That in itself tells me loud and clear that you are a fake nice guy.
"
You have done so much for the gal you love and treat her so well. But look at how others wack you so hard for the things you had done. I know how much you have done cos I was in your shoes before.
lets look at another example.
by smudgey
"
It happened to me once, my ex was pretty much Mr Niceguy, donÂ’t get me wrong, he has his temper too and we do quarrel, but he will do whatever in his power to give in to meÂ…. He was willing to change for me. But the thing is, the more he is willing to change, the more he gave in, the more I felt like a !&$&!, I felt demanding, and selfish, and in turn I hated myself.
So I ended it, I decided that I Need someone who will stand up to my demands, and not give in all the time, I need someone whoÂ’ll love himself more so that he will not be ever-willing to change everything abt himself for my sake.
"
The above story only shows why borther to be a nice guy.
Since treating them well and giving in only makes you a better target to be kena dump faster then why be good?
Being nice to the girl you love also kena scold by people who does not understand the effort and time you put it for the girl you love.
These type of gals only make guys wonder why be a good guy when all they want is a real mean guy who plays with their feelings and dump them?
We live in a very sad world where being good s u c k s.
This is only your first relationship. Learn from it and grow up from it.
Cut all contact from her and tell others you dump her and is the end.
The first step of being a proper man is to handle your relationship well.
If you cannot even handle a useless relationship, how are you going out in the working world to work?
Think about what I have say and act upon it.
If you feel my words are useless then just go on with this never ending cycle of kena play out by the so call first gf only loves you but sleeps around with other guys.
Action speaks louder than words.
Anyway, I might be deceiving myself now but I will try to forget about her. Hopefully time will help. But IÂ’m scared that this new r/s of hers started as sheÂ’s confused on what she wants. Even though she had quite a few r/s (12, including me) before, none of them lasted for 2 yrs (All these signs should have stopped me from getting together with her initially but I just couldnÂ’t resist holding her hands when she first lied on my shoulder and we got together that night). IÂ’m afraid that she still donno what sheÂ’s doing now. Should I talk to her when she needs a listening ear? (I will try not to fall for her again) Or should I check if she or the guy is serious about each other? It might sound silly but I donno.
Should i? -
the problem is not just being nice.Originally posted by Guardx:The above story only shows why borther to be a nice guy.
Since treating them well and giving in only makes you a better target to be kena dump faster then why be good?
Being nice to the girl you love also kena scold by people who does not understand the effort and time you put it for the girl you love.
These type of gals only make guys wonder why be a good guy when all they want is a real mean guy who plays with their feelings and dump them?
We live in a very sad world where being good s u c k s.
being a nice guy is one thing. being a pushover is another.
It goes to show how much backbone a guy have when he is willing to bend over backwards and back just to please the gal.
Bottomline, Don't be Mr Nice Guy, Don't be Mr MEAN.
BE YOU.
Everyone has a limit.... a treshold... stick to yours. -
Do not love 1 gal with all your heart.Originally posted by Tian Long Jiu Bu:she is playing with u. She just need company. And when u are nt by her side, she went to find other guy.. This is wad i am afraid of 6mths later when i go navy and my gf went to u. I also duno wad to do. Can anything teach abt wad to do also??
Learn to spread out a little.
So when she dumps you, at least you can get a backup.
Thats what I learn in life.
Since life is never fair why play fair?
Since girls complain good guys are useless why be good? -
you can if u want to.Originally posted by L.o.s.t:Actually IÂ’m starting to see some sense now. Maybe we are just not meant to be together. I never thought she was pretty but she has this innocent feeling whenever we are alone. I canÂ’t describe it but it makes me wanna protect her and make her happy everyday. In fact she always said that IÂ’m the only joy to her in this world and IÂ’m the only one who can make her smile everyday.
Anyway, I might be deceiving myself now but I will try to forget about her. Hopefully time will help. But IÂ’m scared that this new r/s of hers started as sheÂ’s confused on what she wants. Even though she had quite a few r/s (12, including me) before, none of them lasted for 2 yrs (All these signs should have stopped me from getting together with her initially but I just couldnÂ’t resist holding her hands when she first lied on my shoulder and we got together that night). IÂ’m afraid that she still donno what sheÂ’s doing now. Should I talk to her when she needs a listening ear? (I will try not to fall for her again) Or should I check if she or the guy is serious about each other? It might sound silly but I donno.
Should i?
but my advice is, don't.
you don't owe her anything, and if she really needs to talk, she has her gal pals...
being by her and TRYING not to fall for her again is not going to wk.
you will fall back in. and it will be harder to climb out. -
but if dun love a ger with all my heart, maybe i my self wil feel i am playing with herOriginally posted by Guardx:Do not love 1 gal with all your heart.
Learn to spread out a little.
So when she dumps you, at least you can get a backup.
Thats what I learn in life.
Since life is never fair why play fair?
Since girls complain good guys are useless why be good?
i duno wad u mean by spread.. u mean find more ger friends?? i dun like my gf doing tat and she either
but ur other sentence i agree -
I think she might also not call me anymore as she has someone by her side now. Just now on the cab back from work, I tot that finally I donÂ’t worry about her meals as she will have her bf accompanying her. I can sleep on Sundays for the whole day after my morning soccer without going to buy her dinner. All these sort of makes me happier but when I tot that its not me accompanying her, my heart aches.Originally posted by smudgey:you can if u want to.
but my advice is, don't.
you don't owe her anything, and if she really needs to talk, she has her gal pals...
being by her and TRYING not to fall for her again is not going to wk.
you will fall back in. and it will be harder to climb out.
Actually she brings a lot of joy to me. I always thought that I have a gf that I love very much and she loves me too. Got a good job, everything was going so smoothly for me and this had to happen. CanÂ’t help but feels that reality really hurts -
i think u are still nt used to nt caring for her ba. i will also have this kind of feeling de.. like.. everytime think if she had eaten, how she feeling?? then u will wush down and buy her thing to eat or wad de.. u are used to keep caring for herOriginally posted by L.o.s.t:I think she might also not call me anymore as she has someone by her side now. Just now on the cab back from work, I tot that finally I donÂ’t worry about her meals as she will have her bf accompanying her. I can sleep on Sundays for the whole day after my morning soccer without going to buy her dinner. All these sort of makes me happier but when I tot that its not me accompanying her, my heart aches.
Actually she brings a lot of joy to me. I always thought that I have a gf that I love very much and she loves me too. Got a good job, everything was going so smoothly for me and this had to happen. CanÂ’t help but feels that reality really hurts -
c'mon!
the sea is so wide and vast. you can find even better women out there!
Get over it soon. -
maybe u were too good to her...
too good.. too perfect.. seems so unreal. -
Girls like that are aplenty.They love to be desired. I'm surprised by how and to what extent some of them will go just to get that attention.
For you TS, seemed like you were just an in-between fit in for her while she waits for her new found interest to take her up.
She manipulated you to satisfy her own fantasies. Sounds crude ya?
Women love to be challenged.
Period.
The reason why you ended up in such a sorry state?
1. You found the wrong girl at the wrong time.
2. You fail to understand what kind of girl you're handling.
Next time, just play your own game, or be prepared to be gamed in theirs.
Cheers,
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Hey LOST,
Don't behave like a used chewing gum stucked to her flip flops (slippers).
There's always two sides to a story.
To you, you think you had been the perfect boyfriend.
To her, you've not done enough.
If you are so bent on looking at what you did right, then you never improve.
Focus on what you did wrong.
For the other forumers,
There is no such thing as giving too much love.
There is also no such thing as giving IN too much.
We don't judge our man by how much they give or how much they take.
We judge our man by how much our needs are met.
We've only seen one side of a story.
Perhaps if we have a chance to listen to HER side of story, all these comments will be redundant. -
sound cruel sia.. lol.. another stab in her heartOriginally posted by lagrangen:Girls like that are aplenty.They love to be desired. I'm surprised by how and to what extent some of them will go just to get that attention.
For you TS, seemed like you were just an in-between fit in for her while she waits for her new found interest to take her up.
She manipulated you to satisfy her own fantasies. Sounds crude ya?
Women love to be challenged.
Period.
The reason why you ended up in such a sorry state?
1. You found the wrong girl at the wrong time.
2. You fail to understand what kind of girl you're handling.
Next time, just play your own game, or be prepared to be gamed in theirs.
Cheers,