Problem zzz
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Even if you are you have to be reasonable. This is just way too possessive. How old is he btw?Originally posted by fgfm:What if I tell you that that I am closer to him as compared to his family members? -
Don't worry too much.Originally posted by fgfm:Thanks. I am worried sick right now...Sigh.
One day he'll know that what you're doing is all for him. -
What if you have a boyfriend who is going overseas tomorrow and yet he doesnt tell you? The next day you spam his hp without getting a reply? How will you feel? There are many scenarios in life that can happen. It might be a situation of life and death. You will never know what might happen.Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:Even if you are you have to be reasonable. This is just way too possessive. How old is he btw?
All I ask is for him to tell me when he's going out. Thats all. Not telling me with who, going where, eating what, what time going home etc. Thats what I call possessive. -
It's nice that she's so concerned but he doesn't need it. I'm sure he's old enough to take care of himself. She's the classic picture of a nagging wife lol.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Don't worry too much.
One day he'll know that what you're doing is all for him. -
If he gets into a car accident or anything, how is he able to take care of himself?Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:It's nice that she's so concerned but he doesn't need it. I'm sure he's old enough to take care of himself. She's the classic picture of a nagging wife lol. -
Well he's not going overseas now is he? And if he is he'd tell you I'm sure. A situation of life and death? Come on please be realistic. He'll soon start to see you as his nagging mother instead of his girlfriend.Originally posted by fgfm:What if you have a boyfriend who is going overseas tomorrow and yet he doesnt tell you? The next day you spam his hp without getting a reply? How will you feel? There are many scenarios in life that can happen. It might be a situation of life and death. You will never know what might happen.
All I ask is for him to tell me when he's going out. Thats all. Not telling me with who, going where, eating what, what time going home etc. Thats what I call possessive. -
And how will you be able to help if he's in a car accident?Originally posted by fgfm:If he gets into a car accident or anything, how is he able to take care of himself? -
It's concern, not nagging.Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:Well he's not going overseas now is he? And if he is he'd tell you I'm sure. A situation of life and death? Come on please be realistic. He'll soon start to see you as his nagging mother instead of his girlfriend. -
Well it's excessive and needless concern.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:It's concern, not nagging. -
It isnt wrong to care for the one I love isnt it? Its ridiculous that you say I am providing excessive concern when all I wanted is for him to sms me.Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:Well it's excessive and needless concern.
JUST SMS. It doesnt take much time to do so. -
You mean to say if he lets u know he is outside ,he will not get into accident(if its fated)????Originally posted by fgfm:If he gets into a car accident or anything, how is he able to take care of himself? -
NO. But at least I am worried for the right thing.Originally posted by snobbish:You mean to say if he lets u know he is outside ,he will not get into accident(if its fated)???? -
Let me give you some advice. Guys don't like gals to check on their whereabouts. Try NOT asking him to call you or calling him, i am VERY sure he will feel strange strange leh why you never call him, HE WILL call you. Trust me, guys are like that
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No it's not wrong to care but it's wrong to expect him to tell you EVERY time he goes out. If he didn't mind SMSing you every time he goes out he wouldn't 'forget' all the time. Honestly I really don't think he forgets, he probably just doesn't want to do it because it's ridiculous.Originally posted by fgfm:It isnt wrong to care for the one I love isnt it? Its ridiculous that you say I am providing excessive concern when all I wanted is for him to sms me.
JUST SMS. It doesnt take much time to do so.
I'm just trying to provide some sound advice. It'll hinder your relationship because he obviously doesn't like it; if he did he would be doing it. -
FYI, he doesnt go out with his friends that often. Max thrice a week He can be said to be more of a 'home' person. Because I am so used to him being at home most of the time, that is why I would like him to tell me when he's outside.Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:No it's not wrong to care but it's wrong to expect him to tell you EVERY time he goes out. If he didn't mind SMSing you every time he goes out he wouldn't 'forget' all the time. Honestly I really don't think he forgets, he probably just doesn't want to do it because it's ridiculous.
I'm just trying to provide some sound advice. It'll hinder your relationship because he obviously doesn't like it; if he did he would be doing it.
Still, he agreed to tell me. Shouldnt he stick to his promises? Its no point telling me sorry over and over again yet the same things happens again and again. If he didnt like it, he could just say it. This would prevent much more quarrels.
Dont worry, everything you have mentioned is taken into consideration. Its just that the state of my mind right now is unwilling to digest whatever rebukes that I am faced with. Frustration, anxiety and lethargy is what I am feeling right now. -
I am reaching extreme frankness now.Originally posted by fgfm:It isnt wrong to care for the one I love isnt it? Its ridiculous that you say I am providing excessive concern when all I wanted is for him to sms me.
JUST SMS. It doesnt take much time to do so.
If you want a relationship of trust - you don't ask your boyfriend whether he is staying at home or expect him to sms you when he is going out of the house . It is called mothering not loving in the girlfriend sort of way. Now if he does not call you for a few days, he will be in the wrong. However if he does not sms you for a few hours , that is not wrong - he needs space to breathe. Even the police don't start searching for a person unless he/she is missing for at least 24 hours .
To you , it might seem that what a few others and I are saying are wrong. That's fine- you came here seeking opinions and we gave you ours. -
FYI, guys can promise anything just to get the gal off his back, to get her to stop preaching. You expect him to say what? To say NO when you ask him to sms you everytime he go out? Which guy will say NO? ask for trouble mehOriginally posted by fgfm:FYI, he doesnt go out with his friends that often. Max thrice a week He can be said to be more of a 'home' person. Because I am so used to him being at home most of the time, that is why I would like him to tell me when he's outside.
Still, he agreed to tell me. Shouldnt he stick to his promises? Its no point telling me sorry over and over again yet the same things happens again and again. If he didnt like it, he could just say it. This would prevent much more quarrels.
Dont worry, everything you have mentioned is taken into consideration. Its just that the state of my mind right now is unwilling to digest whatever rebukes that I am faced with. Frustration, anxiety and lethargy is what I am feeling right now.
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Ok one thing guys don't do is tell a girl they like that they don't like their behaviour because it saves them an argument - they tolerate it for a while.Originally posted by fgfm:FYI, he doesnt go out with his friends that often. Max thrice a week He can be said to be more of a 'home' person. Because I am so used to him being at home most of the time, that is why I would like him to tell me when he's outside.
Still, he agreed to tell me. Shouldnt he stick to his promises? Its no point telling me sorry over and over again yet the same things happens again and again. If he didnt like it, he could just say it. This would prevent much more quarrels.
Dont worry, everything you have mentioned is taken into consideration. Its just that the state of my mind right now is unwilling to digest whatever rebukes that I am faced with. Frustration, anxiety and lethargy is what I am feeling right now.
You have to ask him and not get angry if he tells you that he does not want to do it. If you get angry - you just drive him away, that's all. Just talk to him as a girlfriend , not a mother.
If you want to be petty and demand trivial promises like this, there is really no point in you having a relationship seriously. You won't be helping yourself.
If sh*t is going to happen , it will happen because it is life . No one's fault. You cannot keep worrying about the sky dropping on him or if he runs away. You are insecure and sooner or later , that is going to really affect a good relationship. -
I understand what you are trying to say. But I too hope that you will understand the kind of seesaw of emotions I am experiencing right now and that my point of view might differ when I am 'ok'.Originally posted by fymk:I am reaching extreme frankness now.
If you want a relationship of trust - you don't ask your boyfriend whether he is staying at home or expect him to sms you when he is going out of the house . It is called mothering not loving in the girlfriend sort of way. Now if he does not call you for a few days, he will be in the wrong. However if he does not sms you for a few hours , that is not wrong - he needs space to breathe. Even the police don't start searching for a person unless he/she is missing for at least 24 hours .
To you , it might seem that what a few others and I are saying are wrong. That's fine- you came here seeking opinions and we gave you ours. -
Understood.Originally posted by snobbish:FYI, guys can promise anything just to get the gal off his back, to get her to stop preaching. You expect him to say what? To say NO when you ask him to sms you everytime he go out? Which guy will say NO? ask for trouble meh -
take careOriginally posted by fgfm:Understood. -
lets take for example the typical husbands. When asked if they have affair with other women, they willl say:''i dun't dare''
But thats not the reply i want if i have a husband. I want his answer to be:I don't want.''
get wat i mean?
I wan my Bf to call me when he misses me, not cos the timetable says so -
It shows that how technology can affect a relationship.
So if last time handphone not invented how?
Care and concern can be showed and showered in different manners, the approach you did was quite aggressive to him.
Y not join with them for a couple of sessions so that you can also know his friends better? otherwise when wedding, u only know 3~4 tables of ppl and the rest of the 36 tables are all strangers to you.
If you want to get into his life, use a more subtle approach. -
you already quarrelled with him over this so many times and he still cant keep his promise. doesnt that say something? why need to wait for him to say he cant do it when you already know the answer?
btw why would you be worried if he goes out? is he a careless or naive sort of person? will get lost or cheated easily? or something happened to him before?
when he goes out, does he tell any of his family members?
i am a girl too and i will find it annoying having to sms if i am going out. give yourself a break too. so what if he is out? you gonna be worried about him again? -
Anyway it is just an sms - A small thing to get upset with
err.. he wants to go out, need to report to u? Got any real safety issues when he steps out of his home? Don't u think it is a bit illogical here...
If u require him to sms u whether he is not home or whether he is with anyone or where he is it is still called.. controlling.. tsk tsk
I understand that he has promised u and that why u feel worried when he didn't reply. Perhaps u can hint to him that you were worried for him but do it in a calm and cool matter. However, do not expect him to apologize to u or demand a reply and do not get angry with the matter..
cos frankly, it is a small thing and guys usually do not take into account such small things. He probably will find you bothersome if u persist on..
Unless there has been some sort of dishonestly in the past, perhaps, i can understand the insecurities current beneath the relationship.
But then woman are mostly insecure emotional being..