Suicidal and depressed
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Whatever you do
You only live once -
Dear TS, you need help from religions.Maybe they can answer all your problems.You need to practise forgiveness and endurance which is religions' answer to your problems.I recommend that you watch the TV on weekends on Channel 8 which features a commercial from Woods which has a Ren character on it. Ren is endurance in Chinese
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if i were you, i will have rebelled against my parents but fortunately my parents arent the sort to restrict my freedom.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:they like to play with my emotions. say book alrd waste money la. but i prefer they dont spend 1.5k on me, then i take 100 dollars spend over 1 week. save money, i happy also what. they cannot understand.
why let your parents control your emotions? for this instance, you dont want to go, tell them firmly beforehand that they better not book for you, you wouldnt go. even if they still go ahead and book for you, stand firm in what you have told them earlier..dont go. you have to take a first step out if you want to break free from them. but if you still go ahead with the holiday, naturally your words will have gone down the drain and whatever you say, they also wont take you seriously. make them feel that you are serious even if it means wasting $1.5k.
for your pocket money, you can work for it during the holidays. why depend on your parents for pocket money? you mention that you live simply, so i believe you can get by each semester working through the holidays or worse, give tuition during the semester.
if your words cant win them over, show them by actions. there are many advices given out to you here, but it is all up to take the first step out of this cocoon. if you still give yourself reasons why you cant break away from them, you will be forever be stuck this cocoon. -
Call SOS : 6221 4444
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You have depression. Please consult doctor or psychistirctist. Cure while it is early. Take some medicine to curb the growth of hormones serected by ur depressed brain.
Trust me medicine and friends helps u in this. -
What can I say?Originally posted by sEphIrOth:about my gf, quite true. i will not brood too much about her.
Secretly? it is hard to secretly find a job. i can talk to my dad, he is very understanding but i feel that my mother is the head of the family and it is hard for my father to make decisions. my mother is stingy as to the amount of money she gives me. my dad understands and he is willing to give me what i need. i do not ask for much, not having things most teens have. i am simple and dress simply. i eat simple dishes. all i ask for is something special once in a blue moon and the request gets rejected.
they think that bringing me holidays would make me happy. in fact i feel obliged to go holidays with them. it is what makes them happy not me,. i have to follow them around and it is a chore as compared to when i go out with my frens, and i spend lesser.
You have no choice. You live under her roof. She feeds you. Without her, you will have to solve the problem of finding shelter and food. Don't be mistaken, I am not asking for you to sell your soul to anyone, but what I am about to suggest may startle you and others.
From a strategic standpoint, you are like a small country with limited resources, relying on the goodwill of your neighbour which controls all the resources for them not to attack you and swallow you up. What do you do?
I am not the type who will end my arguments with "she's afterall your mother" statements. You know you want out. Here's how.
1st, you can't die. You die, you can't get out. Since you already have entertained the thoughts of suicide, let me tell you the good news: you are in no hurry for anything, including killing yourself. Since you are in no hurry, then you should have no worries. Since you have no worries, I suggest you think of a plan to coolly execute to get yourself out of your predicament.
You need connections. Not just any connections. I won't suggest anyone here, including myself. You got to sell yourself to powerful people in your circle or community, and stand out among others. You will discover that these people will ultimately share their secrets of success with you in riddles.
Everymorning when you wake up, take 3 deep breaths, have a cup of strong coffee, and tell yourself today's not the day to die. Go on and plan your day according to how you want to achieve your longterm goal, FREEDOM. Make no mistake, if a mother intends to trap you now, she will trap you forever, and when she passes on, everything will be too late, your life is already ruined. Don't let mothers do that to you. It is your duty to your ancestors.
Having gf troubles? Dump her. I don't think you are in the right frame of mind to fix any relationship problems of this nature. I'm not saying she's totally at fault, I'm just saying that the road to success is lonely, and a good partner is waiting for you at the destination.
And yes, seeing a psychiatrist can be very expensive. My suggestion, ENDORPHINE. You don't need to buy it. Just go for a run, and run until you feel like throwing up. Feels great after that.
Mum tells you to obey her? Say yes to everything. What you do behind her back, she may or may not know, depends on your skill. WHo's manipulating who now? You have control.
Ok, that's all I have to tell you for now. You may or may not agree to what I have said, you call the shots, its your life, not mine. I have already taken the necessary steps to correct mine, and I am glad I took it. No one will blame you for being an infilial son, but everyone will ask you why you are stupid enough to ruin your own life. -
Originally posted by huiz:
firstly, unless ur parent abuse u etc, there is no reason for you to rebel against them. not listening to your thought can be due to age gap + their personal experience.
if i were you, i will have rebelled against my parents but fortunately my parents arent the sort to restrict my freedom.
why let your parents control your emotions? for this instance, you dont want to go, tell them firmly beforehand that they better not book for you, you wouldnt go. even if they still go ahead and book for you, stand firm in what you have told them earlier..dont go. you have to take a first step out if you want to break free from them. but if you still go ahead with the holiday, naturally your words will have gone down the drain and whatever you say, they also wont take you seriously. make them feel that you are serious even if it means wasting $1.5k.
for your pocket money, you can work for it during the holidays. why depend on your parents for pocket money? you mention that you live simply, so i believe you can get by each semester working through the holidays or worse, give tuition during the semester.
if your words cant win them over, show them by actions. there are many advices given out to you here, but it is all up to take the first step out of this cocoon. if you still give yourself reasons why you cant break away from them, you will be forever be stuck this cocoon.
you would not know how parent felt, until u r parent urself.
Ci2 Fu4 Duo1 Bai4 Er2 (kind father breeds useless child)
when u r parent, can u 100% say u will be respected and luv by ur children by allowing them to do things they want?
as parent, their role is to guide u, using their life experience.
a child, ur role is to listen to them, their words might sound @#%& to u now, but in time to come, u will appreciate wad they did for u.
but i do agree that u sld earn for ur own living.
NOTE THAT YOUR PARENTS OWN YOU NOTHING, YOU OWN THEM INSTEAD.
Now to TS:
if u tink suicide is the way out, let me tell you it's not.
If you happen to believe in religion, sucide IS a grave offence.
An action that will be banished and condemned by them.
Suicide is not the ending, it's the beginning of a MUCH MORE UNKNOWN TEDIOUS road ahead. It prolong your suffering in the other world.
If your parents do not listen, so be it. Most parent won't anyway and maybe they aren't right, but neither are you.
You think in your shoe that it is correct and right to do wadever action, but wad abt their shoe?
Our parent are old, and they do not have much years ahead, someday, if they are not around, you'll live to regret why you did not listen to them. -
I can b ur fren
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if u really wanted to kill yourself i wouldnt be reading your thread here. ure just afraid to kill yourself and instead post here.
come on, suicide does not SOLVE your prob. ure just leaving the prob for your parents n others to solve. your funeral n all those shyt. the time u put in considering your suicide could be put to better use by seeking someones advice. many ppl here though.
wheres pika? -
hee.. after my post you start to see people are saying all the same thing le..
TS u c.. like wat mi and a number of the posters got sae le, those who see a bigger picture then all of us here. You will not follow the advises given by people here. u will nvr understand wat we tell u coz you are resisting wat we are telling u... u keep on trying to defend ur own solutions...
but u noe hor.. if u keep doing the same thing all over and over again and expect different results hor.. i tink that is stewpig.
u may deny it, but u love the attention this thread is bringing u ... coz u already sae u will nt commit suicide and u noe its not the answer.. so u jus wan pple to pity u and u wan the pity that is showered on u oso.. -
i m posting in all seriousness. seeking help is better than just committing suicide. love attention? check my posts, do i seem to need all ur attention? i have thought of it as a solution, but how can i get out of it? some of then have posted some good pointers to take note against my parents, have you? i know which advice to pick and it obviously will not be yours, oh wait, what advice from you?Originally posted by cisforcat:hee.. after my post you start to see people are saying all the same thing le..
TS u c.. like wat mi and a number of the posters got sae le, those who see a bigger picture then all of us here. You will not follow the advises given by people here. u will nvr understand wat we tell u coz you are resisting wat we are telling u... u keep on trying to defend ur own solutions...
but u noe hor.. if u keep doing the same thing all over and over again and expect different results hor.. i tink that is stewpig.
u may deny it, but u love the attention this thread is bringing u ... coz u already sae u will nt commit suicide and u noe its not the answer.. so u jus wan pple to pity u and u wan the pity that is showered on u oso.. -
think like a soldier, be a leader.
your solution is not suicide, it's your fighting spirit. in such times of turmoil, you need to be mentally uptight and do NOT ever give in. your parents may force it on you, but your decision is yours and no one can alter it. every little action has its consequences, do think twice.
REMEMBER SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION!
depression is just a phase and if you and mentally apt, you will face it and fight it like a warrior.
remember you are not a weakling!! you are a warrior and we warriors face our problems heads on!
be brave and all the best.
pm me if you need someone to talk to.
take care. -
try to ignore those who post ignorant remarks. some people have been lucky enough to have never felt the way you feel before. or maybe they have, but have since 'recovered' and have chosen to forget the way they felt before...etc...
sh|t is sh|t. hard or soft or whatever, it's STILL sh|t.
comparing with people less fortunate that you might not make you feel better. in fact, to tell someone who is feeling down might instead make them feel worse. and, depression is not a phase, it's not in the mind. if it was, no one would be depressed. those who can say such a thing as 'it's all in the head' most probably just have never felt it before...or maybe theirs was just a phase of unhappiness which they chose to think was 'depression'
should u choose to PM anyone, i hope you pick the right people who can give you the right type of support/advice.
i have faith in u. may you come out of this a stronger person. -
i feel many people do not understand or have ... yes recovered from it. only when u r in such a situation will u feel such things in which u would never feel if u just put urself in someone's shoes.simulators are nothing compared to war. training sessions are nothing compared to competitive matches. the mind plays a big part, external factors too.Originally posted by udontknowme:try to ignore those who post ignorant remarks. some people have been lucky enough to have never felt the way you feel before. or maybe they have, but have since 'recovered' and have chosen to forget the way they felt before...etc...
sh|t is sh|t. hard or soft or whatever, it's STILL sh|t.
comparing with people less fortunate that you might not make you feel better. in fact, to tell someone who is feeling down might instead make them feel worse. and, depression is not a phase, it's not in the mind. if it was, no one would be depressed. those who can say such a thing as 'it's all in the head' most probably just have never felt it before...or maybe theirs was just a phase of unhappiness which they chose to think was 'depression'
should u choose to PM anyone, i hope you pick the right people who can give you the right type of support/advice.
i have faith in u. may you come out of this a stronger person.
what is affecting me is the external factors but i m sound enough to ignore some ill advice here. i just feel like having a listening ear with different alternatives as to how i can resolve it. i have gained alot and believe me, i m evaluating everything at this moment, all the advice compiled to give the best mix. -
hey seph!
dont listen to me, i'm not here to help you.
how can/dare you put all the blame on the 2 ladies in your life? quit being a whiner. everything happens and it's not your fault. it's always someone else to blame, its always beyond your control.
if that's the case, accept your fate. YOU ARE A BORN LOSER.
there is nothing else you can control but yourself. you just WHINE. well look on the bright side, at least there's something you're really good at
get out of here, you're making our trees work harder, go make the world a better place. at least you made a contribution to earth before leaving. -
what is it that both ladies are holding you back on? care to shed some light?
If it is all but healthy, u shld pursue that. Sometimes, its only right that you think for yourself assuming that what ur about to do does NOT affect the people around you.
For your mom, initial rejection will always be ther till she sees results. I have also faced similar situations.
For your GF, she shld be supportive right from the beginning. If even before you approach her, you already feel so stressed up. Then what's the point of having someone when you can't even share your dreams/problems with.
Take a moment, stary thinking about yourself & not the people around you. Take care of yourself before taking care of your surroundings.
And remember, there are moments in life when you find it bleak & nothing worth living for. When this happens, take a good look around, many others are far worse off than you & yet they either hold their hope high up or they continue living day by day.
Be resposible to yourself at least. Take care -
I read through all the replies, but I still can't really see what the problem is.
So I am just going to ask you two questions.
What really is the issue troubling you (break it down into concrete objectives) eg mom refuses you to get a job
What are you doing about it
eg listening to you mom
I was like this when I was younger. I would ask my mom for permission before I did anything.
My sister just did it and informed Mom later.
So you see, it really is about how much you really want to do something about the issue. Whatever it is, just do the best you can and accept the rest.
'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.' -
Originally posted by extrinsic:
what i mean by rebelling here is not being rude and disrespectful against his parents, but rather to go against his parent's wishes not to let him work.
[b]
firstly, unless ur parent abuse u etc, there is no reason for you to rebel against them. not listening to your thought can be due to age gap + their personal experience.
you would not know how parent felt, until u r parent urself.
Ci2 Fu4 Duo1 Bai4 Er2 (kind father breeds useless child)
when u r parent, can u 100% say u will be respected and luv by ur children by allowing them to do things they want?
as parent, their role is to guide u, using their life experience.
a child, ur role is to listen to them, their words might sound @#%& to u now, but in time to come, u will appreciate wad they did for u.
[b] -
To TS,
The way I see it, you're having this problem because you're not assertive enough.
You've to live for yourself, not for others, and definitely not for your parents.
It would be good if you are able to tell people off if they become too domineering, even if it means that you've to be rude, so be it.
The other thing is to get a job to achieve financial indepence. It will also allow you more options, like moving away from your mother.
As for your gf, dump her. She is not a friend, in my book. -
There's nothing better than showing others that you can live a good life without being held back by then.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:this is in all seriousness.
friends have never been priority in my life. my family provides me with shelter food and clothing, not my friends. they limit whatever i do, what good will frens do when i do not even fulfil my own needs?
my girlfren never listens. i m suicidal yet she might think i m bothersome. she cares when we r happy but starts getting moody when i m having bad times, who m i to her now?
my family does not even listen, yet the root cause is my family. if i dont tackle the cause and only cure the symptoms, it will me constant! i do nto want such a life.
anyone who can say there are people worse than me and living, we have different mindsets, what someone thinks may not apply to the other.
Life is precious, please cherish it for yourself. Bad things do not stay for life. -
Your girlfriend... Break up with her. She can't even give you support.
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Pls donate all your organ before you sucide
You dont want to live , there so many ppl behind struggling for survival -
i believe the last thing ur mum and gf will want to do is to force u to ur death..
pls stop having negative thoughts, it ain't doing anything good to your health now.
do u have a close fren? if ur family and gf don't understand u, then turn to ur frens.. if frens also no.. turn to god. hope there will be someone beside u right now.. i think it's v impt to have someone there for us when we are at our weakest.. may not be physically, but spiritually also.. u muz believe that u are not alone, there are ple who care. -
TS... i have seen all ur posts before and most of the replies are encouraging
Therefore, it is unwise for u to EVER think about suicide again. Thank God that u have overcome it this time.. make sure don't think about it again
I understand how is it to be self-piting oneself but make sure don't let it overwhelms u. Convert all the negative self-piting thoughts as a form of positive forces that drive u to become better
Always remember "sweetness comes after bitterness". God won't let u suffer forever, he is, in fact, testing you to see whether u can endure hardship. After enduring through this, then u will enjoy greater success and maturity.
That's my advice for u. Anyway, what i feel about ur gf is she is a BITCH. Really! Even if u think what i said is undesirable, i will still scold this word again. Why bothers to keep a gf who don't care for u? If u insist of keeping her, good luck u will definitely suffer in the future.
Therefore, just dump her and look for someone who really will take care of u. -
i know many people have been trying to help. but if no one knows how depressed someone can get, suicidal thoughts may happen at any point in time and to anyone.
im not a whiner. i intend to change my lifestyle and work things out. i think i should be more initiative and take control rather than sit back and see the whole show going on.