Is fighting an act of passion or an unacceptable act?
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]Originally posted by abterror:In a way. lol
Sometimes personally, i use more eq when i am in love. lol
So the only thing i am more confident is my strength vs ladies. lol
I am not in the right mind to argue that sentence with you. -
we?! f*ck you lol don't try and justify it by some fucked up excuse of being a guy - you show me one guy who abuses, i'll show ya 10 who don't. just cos you're screwed doesn't make everyone else screwed too.Originally posted by abterror:hat i means is, we know where our strength lies and we tend to manululate it as our own advantages. -
When a man constantly tells his woman, that she is not perfect enough.Originally posted by abterror:For us, i always nag at her flaws and control her in a way. Because i wanted her to be a better person.
To her, she just watch quietly and hope i would grow up faster and catch her pace, so things will happen. And also caring about my pride.
Neither way is wrong seriously, But lack of communication and the disability to see it coming cause the fatal failure.
Do you know it will only degrade her self-esteem ?
You claim that you want her to be a better person, but by doing what you did, you are doing the opposite.
What is your true intention ? You want her to think she is really a lousy person and that you are the only man who will love her ?
Please ok ? You want to control her, because you have low self-confidence. -
Jojo, i really dont understand why do you talk so much. What i mean is that if a GUY cannot hit or touch a gal, then its vice versa if the gal shouldnt do anything too. Whats with you come up with majority of MEN abusing women.Originally posted by jojobeach:Zarks,
This kinda stuff is just chicken and egg talk.
Has your woman ever kicked your ass ?
Most of the time, if you look at proper statistics, domestic abusers are USUALLY MEN.
So, until the statistics become 1:1 then you start complaining ok ?
If you ever come across a man hitting his woman, are you going to stand on the side with your arms crossed and tell the gal " Oh you deserve it" ?
Gosh. BEtter advise TS rather than coming up with simple knowledge of more MEN abusing women.
Whats with you come up with all the stats ? -
TS never hit her gal , ahkeat.Originally posted by ahkeat:u hit her. she might not tell u truth next time. it worsen everything
dun ever hit a girl. too ungentleman -
TS, i never read all the pages here.
So u still with your gal?
Your r/s seems to lack communication.
Try to talk to her bout your weakness. Talk to her what things that she doesnt like bout u? Be it controlling her or anything.
Just talk, talk, talk but peacefully.
When you be in love, you tend to involve in eq. UNderstandable. But need to think rationally sometimes.
Can tell us what is your condition between you and her now? ITs been sometime already since the fight rite? -
TS, i think you help us better if you state out what u did to her, eg controlling her or anything.
THen u state out what is her weakness.
We know better whos attitude is not good.
Only if you mind.
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Thanks for your concern.Originally posted by Zarks:TS, i never read all the pages here.
So u still with your gal?
Your r/s seems to lack communication.
Try to talk to her bout your weakness. Talk to her what things that she doesnt like bout u? Be it controlling her or anything.
Just talk, talk, talk but peacefully.
When you be in love, you tend to involve in eq. UNderstandable. But need to think rationally sometimes.
Can tell us what is your condition between you and her now? ITs been sometime already since the fight rite?
I have already done what i can.
She is already with someone else as he was with her during the cool down period.
Sort of brainwash already. Will you look back if you you were her?
I doubt so. New hope new beginings. -
All i can say is, we had miss out blind spots and left many things unsettled.Originally posted by Zarks:TS, i think you help us better if you state out what u did to her, eg controlling her or anything.
THen u state out what is her weakness.
We know better whos attitude is not good.
Only if you mind.
Hence it becomes a bomb.
When something trigger, it become a chain reaction.
If someone else is by their side, they will just sweep them away.
i cant really tell everything in words as it was a 3 years issue.
I do treasure the times with her and treated her as if she was my priced possession.
Ours is actually not a normal relationship, i came into her life and pulled her out of her dark world whe her husband left her. In which her ex hubby vertually fought with her and get very physical with her. Slap, punch, hit her back till blue black, pin her down etc.
To a certain extend. love is irrational, feelings get distorted and words turned into actions. She would keep everything to herself and endure hoping that she can settle her issue herself.
I appeared at her darkest hours and gave her mental support.
I was the shadow of her ex hubby, how many of you can accept the fact when you get intimate with your partner and yet she called out another person's name?
I guess out of gratitute, she stay by my side for these 3 years to return the favour.
A very dramatic romance imo. -
Perhaps i dint choose to put it in a nice way.Originally posted by jojobeach:When a man constantly tells his woman, that she is not perfect enough.
Do you know it will only degrade her self-esteem ?
You claim that you want her to be a better person, but by doing what you did, you are doing the opposite.
What is your true intention ? You want her to think she is really a lousy person and that you are the only man who will love her ?
Please ok ? You want to control her, because you have low self-confidence.
My intention is to remind her. -
Well... at least you encounter it now otherwise it will escalate into FAMILY VIOLENT.Originally posted by abterror:All i can say is, we had miss out blind spots and left many things unsettled.
Hence it becomes a bomb.
When something trigger, it become a chain reaction.
If someone else is by their side, they will just sweep them away.
i cant really tell everything in words as it was a 3 years issue.
I do treasure the times with her and treated her as if she was my priced possession.
Ours is actually not a normal relationship, i came into her life and pulled her out of her dark world whe her husband left her. In which her ex hubby vertually fought with her and get very physical with her. Slap, punch, hit her back till blue black, pin her down etc.
To a certain extend. love is irrational, feelings get distorted and words turned into actions. She would keep everything to herself and endure hoping that she can settle her issue herself.
I appeared at her darkest hours and gave her mental support.
I was the shadow of her ex hubby, how many of you can accept the fact when you get intimate with your partner and yet she called out another person's name?
I guess out of gratitute, she stay by my side for these 3 years to return the favour.
A very dramatic romance imo. -
Thanks for giving us more infor bout your ex. i cant accept the fact that she called out other person name when u together.. thats.. cant be forgiven after all those years?Originally posted by abterror:All i can say is, we had miss out blind spots and left many things unsettled.
Hence it becomes a bomb.
When something trigger, it become a chain reaction.
If someone else is by their side, they will just sweep them away.
i cant really tell everything in words as it was a 3 years issue.
I do treasure the times with her and treated her as if she was my priced possession.
Ours is actually not a normal relationship, i came into her life and pulled her out of her dark world whe her husband left her. In which her ex hubby vertually fought with her and get very physical with her. Slap, punch, hit her back till blue black, pin her down etc.
To a certain extend. love is irrational, feelings get distorted and words turned into actions. She would keep everything to herself and endure hoping that she can settle her issue herself.
I appeared at her darkest hours and gave her mental support.
I was the shadow of her ex hubby, how many of you can accept the fact when you get intimate with your partner and yet she called out another person's name?
I guess out of gratitute, she stay by my side for these 3 years to return the favour.
A very dramatic romance imo.
Gratitude huh? maybe. Like i said she doesnt seem to understand and appreciate what u did to her.
But hey, arent u glad that its over and u dun have to feel like u give too much and ended up she never appreciates what u have done?
Just wait for The One. Only by then, u can feel your truly appreciated and the feeling for The One is somewhat different from what u have for the previous 6 r/s.
I guess your ex doesnt really know how to communite much with u and for the previous bad exp of hers, perhaps she kept quiet on certain things to avoid the same thing happened again.
but really, u should feel glad as u are now single. Many other gals out there. Just need to be lucky to get a gal who really understand you and appreciate whatever u do to her. -
aiya TS. i think its the best u dun keep talking here cuz your ex is a history already. keep talking means keep reminding yourself bout her which isnt healthy enough since as u said u gave the best you could. IT always hurt when u gave the best and some1 never appreciate it.
for now since u single , no need think too much bout gal.. find more $$ n enjoy ur single life ler -
Note that Guys are physically stronger than women. One punch might kill her.Originally posted by abterror:Hi all,
I would like to hear your opinion from both genders.
how many of you guys and gers have been thru all these?
And what is your perception of this.
Personally, I have been thru all these.
Some ppl will view it as great passion will lead to great anger.
I fought with my ex-gf b4. eg push and hold her down.
Sometimes it is anger and act of defence mechanism. (she has a very fiery temper)
But i will just put it aside the next day and view it as an act of communication.
But to her, she viewed me as an aggressive person.
On the other hand, the common practice now is
Guys is usually at fault, reason we are physically stronger.
And gentleman kind of expectation which is seeked from us.
So what is ur stand ladies and gentlemen.
Besides, pasion and love direct opposite to anger. The old sayings don apply at ur situation but under mother and son relationship.
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You mind cos u care.Originally posted by dreamykite:Note that Guys are physically stronger than women. One punch might kill her.
Besides, pasion and love direct opposite to anger. The old sayings don apply at ur situation but under mother and son relationship. -
No you don't. You are just abusive, that's all.Originally posted by abterror:You mind cos u care.
If physical punishment = love.
Then those parents who don't hit their child means they don't love them at all ah ? Lubbish right ?
Stop giving yourself excuses to vent your anger at someone else, they are not your punching bag.
If you need to use physical force, go join a boxing club or fighting club.
Then you'll know how it's like to be beaten up. -
Well, for these 3 years, she has also put in efforts and stayed by my time when i was down. Similarly, i had also taken things for granted.Originally posted by Zarks:Thanks for giving us more infor bout your ex. i cant accept the fact that she called out other person name when u together.. thats.. cant be forgiven after all those years?
Gratitude huh? maybe. Like i said she doesnt seem to understand and appreciate what u did to her.
But hey, arent u glad that its over and u dun have to feel like u give too much and ended up she never appreciates what u have done?
Just wait for The One. Only by then, u can feel your truly appreciated and the feeling for The One is somewhat different from what u have for the previous 6 r/s.
I guess your ex doesnt really know how to communite much with u and for the previous bad exp of hers, perhaps she kept quiet on certain things to avoid the same thing happened again.
but really, u should feel glad as u are now single. Many other gals out there. Just need to be lucky to get a gal who really understand you and appreciate whatever u do to her.
We initially started off as companionship, in the first 2 years, when my close friend asked if i will get her as my life partner, i cant really give a definate answer. It is only after times pass when trust is built and acceptance is formed. On the 3rd year, my friend asked me the similar question, i said yes.
Unfortunately, things turned sour and is beyond savage. As in what Yun had said about a spiral stair issue, if thr problems are not resolved, breaking and patching up will inevitably repeats.
As in what you had mentioned about, lets not talk about it anymore. i agree to your pts. To me, i just wanna accept reality, learn from it and move on. Hoping that one day, i will laugh at what i had been thru and not hide it at the back of my mind. Like what some of the ppl have replied "Be a man, take it like a man." It has been 3 months, i lose about 5 kg+ and only sleep for 5 hours daily only to wake up thinking of her and asking myself why.
I guess the pain is still there but i sort of feel that i had move on to the second phase where i can live my life normally now. As in eating and sleeping better, although i still think of her and ponder how is she now, a little lost and stunned.
I have talked to many ppl after the thing happen, some of them did mention about gender's different perception.
There is a statement which my friend had made.
You can do a thousand things which are right, but if you did 1 terrible thing.
You are likely to be condemn over 1 wrong than your 1000 rights.
Do you think it is a trait of woman? What do you guys think? -
jojo what i meant is, you mind so u listen.Originally posted by jojobeach:No you don't. You are just abusive, that's all.
If physical punishment = love.
Then those parents who don't hit their child means they don't love them at all ah ? Lubbish right ?
Stop giving yourself excuses to vent your anger at someone else, they are not your punching bag.
If you need to use physical force, go join a boxing club or fighting club.
Then you'll know how it's like to be beaten up.
U listen with emo = think with emo.
think with emo = response with emo.
It does not have to be fighting physically, i can be in verbal form as well.
eg if a close friend tell u about her terrible boss.
You response may be fill with emo as well.
Well, Physical pain is nothing compare to emotional pain.
Unless you perceived that knife and vase are used.
In fights, there are also many kinds.
From verbal to pining or pushing (rational), mid range which is from using chairs, hitting irattionally, punching or banging ur sponse head on hard objects(semi-rational), hardcore range from using of weapons and hitting vital points to inflict pain or death in certain extend.(Irrational) -
Originally posted by Zarks:
Thanks for giving us more infor bout your ex. i cant accept the fact that she called out other person name when u together.. thats.. cant be forgiven after all those years?
>>> this was the initial first half of the year where she still cant forget her hubby. FYI -
3rd year, u confirmed. Long time to confirm. Something bother you bout her as life-partner. Unanswered questions flies all time in your mind.Originally posted by abterror:Well, for these 3 years, she has also put in efforts and stayed by my time when i was down. Similarly, i had also taken things for granted.
We initially started off as companionship, in the first 2 years, when my close friend asked if i will get her as my life partner, i cant really give a definate answer. It is only after times pass when trust is built and acceptance is formed. On the 3rd year, my friend asked me the similar question, i said yes.
Unfortunately, things turned sour and is beyond savage. As in what Yun had said about a spiral stair issue, if thr problems are not resolved, breaking and patching up will inevitably repeats.
As in what you had mentioned about, lets not talk about it anymore. i agree to your pts. To me, i just wanna accept reality, learn from it and move on. Hoping that one day, i will laugh at what i had been thru and not hide it at the back of my mind. Like what some of the ppl have replied "Be a man, take it like a man." It has been 3 months, i lose about 5 kg+ and only sleep for 5 hours daily only to wake up thinking of her and asking myself why.
I guess the pain is still there but i sort of feel that i had move on to the second phase where i can live my life normally now. As in eating and sleeping better, although i still think of her and ponder how is she now, a little lost and stunned.
I have talked to many ppl after the thing happen, some of them did mention about gender's different perception.
There is a statement which my friend had made.
You can do a thousand things which are right, but if you did 1 terrible thing.
You are likely to be condemn over 1 wrong than your 1000 rights.
Do you think it is a trait of woman? What do you guys think?
Understand u think why this happened, there is no definate answer. A question without answer make you lose your mind easily
Try to find a question without answer thru ppl only make it worse.
True for woman, one big mistake is a BIG one. Blind the eye to judge other things. -
Again u talked too much. Why talked bout joining boxing club and get to know how its like to be beaten up ?Originally posted by jojobeach:No you don't. You are just abusive, that's all.
If physical punishment = love.
Then those parents who don't hit their child means they don't love them at all ah ? Lubbish right ?
Stop giving yourself excuses to vent your anger at someone else, they are not your punching bag.
If you need to use physical force, go join a boxing club or fighting club.
Then you'll know how it's like to be beaten up.
Its not like TS beaten her ex like a boxer..
U become a daddy one day and u will know if u need to beat up ur son or not. Your idea now might not be the same when your a parent. Better save it when your a parent huh . -
Because ours is not a normal dating relationship.Originally posted by Zarks:3rd year, u confirmed. Long time to confirm. Something bother you bout her as life-partner. Unanswered questions flies all time in your mind.
Understand u think why this happened, there is no definate answer. A question without answer make you lose your mind easily
Try to find a question without answer thru ppl only make it worse.
True for woman, one big mistake is a BIG one. Blind the eye to judge other things.
We started off as companions. -
Relax leh.Originally posted by Zarks:Again u talked too much. Why talked bout joining boxing club and get to know how its like to be beaten up ?
Its not like TS beaten her ex like a boxer..
U become a daddy one day and u will know if u need to beat up ur son or not. Your idea now might not be the same when your a parent. Better save it when your a parent huh .
Jojo has made some points which makes sense as well.
Nothing is absolute. Everyone has their belief.
there are parents who beat and some who believe in love education.
Either ways, it aint wrong. But sometimes we need to combine different methodlogy to make things works. -
I am sure Jojo has something to say about this.Originally posted by abterror:I have talked to many ppl after the thing happen, some of them did mention about gender's different perception.
There is a statement which my friend had made.
You can do a thousand things which are right, but if you did 1 terrible thing.
You are likely to be condemn over 1 wrong than your 1000 rights.
Do you think it is a trait of woman? What do you guys think? -
sounds like the girl rebounds from relationship to relationship. it may all be just as replacements and she's still running away