Is fighting an act of passion or an unacceptable act?
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Everything depends ler. When the soft method didnt work, i believe need to use a little hard method but of course not overlimit. Hey, i read some of parental guide ok. THey combined both method too. Sometimes the child do not know fear if you can only apply with soft method and watever you said to them is like nothing to them. I do read parental guide and i read how the parents commented bout their child's behaviour la. I dont based on my own opinion only ok.Originally posted by abterror:Relax leh.
Jojo has made some points which makes sense as well.
Nothing is absolute. Everyone has their belief.
there are parents who beat and some who believe in love education.
Either ways, it aint wrong. But sometimes we need to combine different methodlogy to make things works.
Like i said, u wont know it for sure unless you're a parent facing a very naughty child. -
How about putting it in a way where she is actively seeking for a suitable life companionship.Originally posted by hisoka:sounds like the girl rebounds from relationship to relationship. it may all be just as replacements and she's still running away
Be it whether she had recovered from her fearful past or not, it is not our part to say if it is right or wrong. But definately, she will avoid those which may be link to it. -
Obviously, my method fails. lolOriginally posted by Zarks:Everything depends ler. When the soft method didnt work, i believe need to use a little hard method but of course not overlimit. Hey, i read some of parental guide ok. THey combined both method too. Sometimes the child do not know fear if you can only apply with soft method and watever you said to them is like nothing to them. I do read parental guide and i read how the parents commented bout their child's behaviour la. I dont based on my own opinion only ok.
Like i said, u wont know it for sure unless you're a parent facing a very naughty child. -
your method failed cuz she dont understand that you already control your anger by verbally warning and she still being more emo bout herself than thinking how unhappy u already areOriginally posted by abterror:Obviously, my method fails. lol -
No matter at which stage of our life.Originally posted by dreamykite:Well... at least you encounter it now otherwise it will escalate into FAMILY VIOLENT.
What matter is discuss, undertsand and work towards a common solution.
What doe not happen in courtship does not meant it wont happen in a marriage.
right? -
That is an ideal situationOriginally posted by abterror:No matter at which stage of our life.
What matter is discuss, undertsand and work towards a common solution.
Yes, you r right. But urs already happen during courtship. It will highly occur in marriage. lots of ppl only exp it only when they get married which then that they realise that it is family violent.
What doe not happen in courtship does not meant it wont happen in a marriage.
right?
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walao, u cannot say like that la..Originally posted by dreamykite:Yes, you r right. But urs already happen during courtship. It will highly occur in marriage. lots of ppl only exp it only when they get married.
before or after married can also have the problems. whre got any diff ar -
yes. just like TS to know that. The choice is his afterall. just a piece of advice for him to ponder.Originally posted by Zarks:walao, u cannot say like that la..
before or after married can also have the problems. whre got any diff ar
If he still wants to be with her-> it's possible-> provided one party change-> How many ppl actually change? -
provided both party also change is the best ler.Originally posted by dreamykite:yes. just like TS to know that. The choice is his afterall. just a piece of advice for him to ponder.
If he still wants to be with her-> it's possible-> provided one party change-> How many ppl actually change? -
First fight:
1) She had her bag lock in my box when i was sending her back.
2)Quarrel and demand bag back to go back. << If i agree, there will be no argurement, but how can i let her go back herself.
3)I refuse, so she pinched me when i was riding and wanted to torn my shirt.
4)i threw the key away into the bush, but my bike was still on and i had a spare key at home. (intent to go back get the spare key and come back to look for it the next day)
5)She was stun for a while and tried to use a stick to poke into the key hole and even want to tear open the box.
6) i rode off thinking she is insaint.
7) i rode back cos she is penniless as her bag was in my box.
She was piss off and standing at one edge of the road while i was looking into the dark bush for the key.
9)Once again, she came over and tried to force open then box. and my bike fell over the commotion.
10)I ride my bike to the back to avoid more damages. She follow suit.
11)I pulled her hands and she was still laughing a bit here and there even duo we are quite piss off.
12)I warned her not to come nearer to my bike. She insisted.
13) Once and twice of pushing away, she lose her balance and fell. (I am percepted to be a agressive person at this point of time)
14)Cried like a baby and was mentally unstable. And i scolded her that it is her wildfulness that lead to her failure in her marriage
15)Went to the side of the main road and cried. (Many cars passing by that moment)
16)She was like super unstable and in danger of being knock down should she walk 1-2 steps into the main road.
17)Creating a really big event over there, i asked her to lets just leave and send her back. No response.
1Sweating at this point of time, Feeling like singing with the lead female actress on a grand stage. It was really very dramatic to happen on the side of a main road. (The road in front of SPH in Toa payoh)
19)I asked her to go a few times, she is not in her right mind.
20)I did a terrible thing. i yell and drag her across some rocky grounds. Asking her to move. ( Just wanted to end the drama)
21) She reacted very desperately as if i am some sort of series killer. Flagging a cab insaintly and left in the cab with her bag and wallet in my box.
In the conflict, she broke her heels and discoloured her jeans. -
Yes, you are quite correct.Originally posted by abterror:I am sure Jojo has something to say about this.
I have talked to many ppl after the thing happen, some of them did mention about gender's different perception.
There is a statement which my friend had made.
You can do a thousand things which are right, but if you did 1 terrible thing.
You are likely to be condemn over 1 wrong than your 1000 rights.
Do you think it is a trait of woman? What do you guys think?
Women and men use a different scoring method.
I've posted it before, but I'll post it again for your benefit.
Man scores their woman 1 : 1
Meaning, +1 point for good, -1 point for bad.
BUT
Woman scores their man 1: 5
Meaning , +1 point for good, -5 points for bad.
So, one mistake you make sets you back 5 good effort you put in.
Some women who are less lenient will score 1:10 or even 1:20. -
walao. u did a very terrible thing la.. no wonder she left u.
then i duno how to help u la. its really ur mistake -
Goodness Abterror,Originally posted by abterror:First fight:
1) She had her bag lock in my box when i was sending her back.
2)Quarrel and demand bag back to go back. << If i agree, there will be no argurement, but how can i let her go back herself.
3)I refuse, so she pinched me when i was riding and wanted to torn my shirt.
4)i threw the key away into the bush, but my bike was still on and i had a spare key at home. (intent to go back get the spare key and come back to look for it the next day)
5)She was stun for a while and tried to use a stick to poke into the key hole and even want to tear open the box.
6) i rode off thinking she is insaint.
7) i rode back cos she is penniless as her bag was in my box.She was piss off and standing at one edge of the road while i was looking into the dark bush for the key.
9)Once again, she came over and tried to force open then box. and my bike fell over the commotion.
10)I ride my bike to the back to avoid more damages. She follow suit.
11)I pulled her hands and she was still laughing a bit here and there even duo we are quite piss off.
12)I warned her not to come nearer to my bike. She insisted.
13) Once and twice of pushing away, she lose her balance and fell. (I am percepted to be a agressive person at this point of time)
14)Cried like a baby and was mentally unstable. And i scolded her that it is her wildfulness that lead to her failure in her marriage
15)Went to the side of the main road and cried. (Many cars passing by that moment)
16)She was like super unstable and in danger of being knock down should she walk 1-2 steps into the main road.
17)Creating a really big event over there, i asked her to lets just leave and send her back. No response.
1Sweating at this point of time, Feeling like singing with the lead female actress on a grand stage. It was really very dramatic to happen on the side of a main road. (The road in front of SPH in Toa payoh)
19)I asked her to go a few times, she is not in her right mind.
20)I did a terrible thing. i yell and drag her across some rocky grounds. Asking her to move. ( Just wanted to end the drama)
21) She reacted very desperately as if i am some sort of series killer. Flagging a cab insaintly and left in the cab with her bag and wallet in my box.
In the conflict, she broke her heels and discoloured her jeans.
You did what my abusive ex did to me.
When you held her bag hostage, you're pretty much holding her hostage.
You knew she couldn't go anywhere didn't you.
You knew you had her by the cuffs, but you did it anyway. Because you knew you are in control and she couldn't do anything.
Yes, you should have just give her the bag so she can take a cab home.
No wonder she went nutz on you.
You should go to jail. -
One event leads to another.Originally posted by Zarks:walao. u did a very terrible thing la.. no wonder she left u.
then i duno how to help u la. its really ur mistake
I put +1 she put +1.
in the end, it keep rolling.
The last few part is actually, trying to end the situation.
She was in a unstable condition. -
No, she was desperate, she was hurt, she was wounded. What else could you expect from her after what you have done ?Originally posted by abterror:One event leads to another.
I put +1 she put +1.
in the end, it keep rolling.
The last few part is actually, trying to end the situation.
She was in a unstable condition. -
walao jojo is a gal i didnt know.Originally posted by jojobeach:Goodness Abterror,
You did what my abusive ex did to me.
When you held her bag hostage, you're pretty much holding her hostage.
You knew she couldn't go anywhere didn't you.
You knew you had her by the cuffs, but you did it anyway. Because you knew you are in control and she couldn't do anything.
Yes, you should have just give her the bag so she can take a cab home.
No wonder she went nutz on you.
You should go to jail.
TS i tot u only pushed her but after u explained the detail now u really the very bad bf la.
Correction:
TS u need to change the way you treat your gf in future. That is just too much. -
Yah, I didn't know you are a guy.Originally posted by Zarks:walao jojo is a gal i didnt know.
TS i tot u only pushed her but after u explained the detail now u really the very bad bf la.
Correction:
TS u need to change the way you treat your gf in future. That is just too much.
But, TS was lucky I wasn't his gf,
Cus I threw a big rock at his car before taking off. -
aiya , jojo so sory, u been so much of bad exp , no wonder u so pissed off wit TS.
Please accept my 1000 roses -
Please don't gib me roses.Originally posted by Zarks:aiya , jojo so sory, u been so much of bad exp , no wonder u so pissed off wit TS.
Please accept my 1000 roses
I'd rather you plant a thousand trees.
Thank you. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:
Goodness Abterror,
You did what my abusive ex did to me.
>>>OMG, u r my ex!!! lol
When you held her bag hostage, you're pretty much holding her hostage.
>>> My intention is to send her back. Punishing her is not in my mine. Ignore her wildful request over a minor quarrel.
You knew she couldn't go anywhere didn't you.
>>> No, in the process of sending her back home.
You knew you had her by the cuffs, but you did it anyway. Because you knew you are in control and she couldn't do anything.
>>> Nope, even when i threw my keys away in anger, i still have a contingency plan to go back and get the key and still send her back dispite i was pissed.
Yes, you should have just give her the bag so she can take a cab home.
>>> I dint think of that at tat moment of time, it is my responsibility to send her back. even if i am pissed. Till the end of the conflict, i still wanted to send her back. It is not as if, i threw her there and let her rot and die. No grudges.
No wonder she went nutz on you.
>>> Both parties have fault to began with. of cos, it would not happen if i return her her bag. what does tat show? petty me?
You should go to jail.
>> No animals were harm in the production of the drama.
We can say if i return the bag = no conflict
We can say if there is no intention to damage property = no conflict
We can say if she stop when i warned her = no conflict
At end of the story = gone bonkers and out of control. -
Dear Jojo,Originally posted by jojobeach:Yah, I didn't know you are a guy.
But, TS was lucky I wasn't his gf,
Cus I threw a big rock at his car before taking off.
Would you be my valentine?
lol -
Jo, be with me better, we go save animals and plantsOriginally posted by abterror:Dear Jojo,
Would you be my valentine?
lol -
Goodness Abterror,
You did what my abusive ex did to me.
>>>OMG, u r my ex!!! lol
jojo>>>>you lucky I am not your ex, else you'd have a big rock to content with.
When you held her bag hostage, you're pretty much holding her hostage.
>>> My intention is to send her back. Punishing her is not in my mine. Ignore her wildful request over a minor quarrel.
You knew she couldn't go anywhere didn't you.
>>> No, in the process of sending her back home.
You knew you had her by the cuffs, but you did it anyway. Because you knew you are in control and she couldn't do anything.
>>> Nope, even when i threw my keys away in anger, i still have a contingency plan to go back and get the key and still send her back dispite i was pissed.
Yes, you should have just give her the bag so she can take a cab home.
>>> I dint think of that at tat moment of time, it is my responsibility to send her back. even if i am pissed. Till the end of the conflict, i still wanted to send her back. It is not as if, i threw her there and let her rot and die. No grudges.
jojo>>>> All the above are BS. Did you tell her your "contingency" plans ?
If she doesn't know what you had in mind, in her head, she will be thinking " You're out to fark me over this time."
No wonder she went nutz on you.
>>> Both parties have fault to began with. of cos, it would not happen if i return her her bag. what does tat show? petty me?
jojo>>>> It just shows you are not very good at handling conflict.
You should go to jail.
>> No animals were harm in the production of the drama.
We can say if i return the bag = no conflict
We can say if there is no intention to damage property = no conflict
We can say if she stop when i warned her = no conflict
At end of the story = gone bonkers and out of control.
jojo>>> You are in control of your own action, so stop saying it's her fault or it was she who went bonkers.
TWO WRONGS DOES NOT MAKE A RIGHT . -
Dear Abterror and Zarks,
BOTH ALSO I DONCH WANT.
Stupid man like you deserves a COW. -
Originally posted by Zarks:Jo, be with me better, we go save animals and plants