My story revealed (long story)
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
thank you for those words. i know i m wrong, i msged her mom telling her im sorry. i really wanna change, but at the end of the day after so much hope and effort put in, if she doesnt accept me, what can i do?
You are proving to be merely a man of your "words".
You promise this, promise that, what exactly have you proven so far ?
Talk is cheap. Don't just talk with words. DO with your actions.
Your " If she doesn't accept me, what can I do." is an excuse. A self defeatist statement for a man, unwilling to change for hope.
If you think it is useless to change for her, at least change for yourself, change for the next girl who will come into your life.
Love cannot be forced, it cannot be controlled as you will.
Not only must you manage your anger issue.
Your fundamental problem is with your control issue.
You refuse to hope, because hope is not a certainty.
Hope is only a possibility, something you have no control over.
The harder you grip, the faster love slips from your fingers.
Learn to let go, be flexible.
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1. You have a tendency for violence. If you do not cure it, it will become worse.
2. No point drinking to drown your sorrows. When you wake up sober, the problem remains.
3. All this while, she has been attentive to your needs. But do you know what are HERS?
4. People make mistakes. But to harp on it and regret is pointless, like you said. Most importantly is not to commit it again. But it take guts and an iron will. Do you have it?
5. In this society, achievements matter. Prove to yourself, prove to her that you can be a dependable guy, be it in working a good job, being a faithful partner etc. Stop whining and take actions to improve your life.
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yes i muz do it to hope she will be with me. but if all else fails, i improved for myself?
improving for myself is one thing, to be devastated again is another.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
yes i muz do it to hope she will be with me. but if all else fails, i improved for myself?
improving for myself is one thing, to be devastated again is another.
Why is there a need to be devastated again ?
If she says no, accept no.
If she says yes, accept yes.
What is so difficult ?
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the difficulty is being kept in the dark for so long but dying to know an answer. and i dont think 1 month is enough.
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How can you expect an answer from her, when you have not even proven her any ?
Nothing you have done now is worth her coming back to you.
Even if you think you have changed, it is still up to her to decide.
Now is the time you need to relinguish the control.
Let her be the driver and learn to shut up.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
thank you for those words. i know i m wrong, i msged her mom telling her im sorry. i really wanna change, but at the end of the day after so much hope and effort put in, if she doesnt accept me, what can i do?
wah lao eh..... You change not for her or anyone else but for yourself ok?
She's not the only girl in this life nor your world. There'll be hundreds if not thousands more of girls you'll be meeting...... Get your house in order first and the girls will come a-calling
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
How can you expect an answer from her, when you have not even proven her any ?
Nothing you have done now is worth her coming back to you.
Even if you think you have changed, it is still up to her to decide.
Now is the time you need to relinguish the control.
Let her be the driver and learn to shut up.
let it go, jojo.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
yes i muz do it to hope she will be with me. but if all else fails, i improved for myself?
improving for myself is one thing, to be devastated again is another.
And? Thats her fault? Her problem?Its a problem you've created yourself. Its a devastation that you put upon yourself.
Is it her wrong? Her leading you to this devastation? Her leading you to do whatever else?
Lots of wife/girlfriend/family beaters are always remorseful after a beating. And they always immediately ask for forgiveness, is forgiven, and somewhere down the road, again will abuse their wife/girlfriend/family.
Are you one of those? That such 'devastation' cannot be controlled?
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if you 2 are meant to be together, then no need to "leave her alone and stuff"
she will come back to you
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Hey bro, learn to let the future take care of itself..... Your job and responsibility is for the present.
Since you've expressed regret and your resolve to get help to change for the better, just do it and stop dwelling in the past, wanting to get her back, blah and more blah......!
The sooner you let go of the past, the sooner you get yourself back in order......
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from my experience in counselling, all your online advices will not work on him becos he just want an avenue to let it out.
agree to disagree and then convince him to seek professional help.
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1. Learn to love yourself before u love others (Stop all the childish stuff u are doing.. Drinking and torturing yourself etc etc.)
2. Let go of her no matter how much u feel for her (If she is meant for u .. She will always be .. Live to see wat future got for you .. Let her see the changes in you)
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yes, i will try my best to cope with it.
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hit a lady!!!
/me lost respect...
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I wonder why u even post this here. U know u wont get any sympathy vote here. So why bother? Making urself feel sh1tty dun help make thing any better. Neither will guilt. So grow up and learn from ur mistake and do the sensible responsible thing that u can do, leave her alone.
For urself, u need help. Something is very wrong with u.
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MRT-girlfriend-pusher spotted!!!
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i admit it is my fault. but now whatever i say, i m looking to something else rather than brooding over it.
i understand that some people want me to leave her alone some people say hope, but i think, at the end of the day, its up to her, but i really am confused about what to do next.
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this is part of the growing up process.. jus b strong n hopefully, time will heal everything..
i've been thru something like urs b4 n i've certainly moved on.. i found a better gal who i cherish very much n make sure i do not repeat my mistakes on her..
wat done cannot b undone.. look towards the future n dun dwell on the past..
if u really love her, u gotta let her go.. similarly, if she truly love u, she will come back to u..
at least, tats wat i believed..
good luck
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Never hit a girl. I saw my sister get beaten up. I was beaten up. Its is the saddest thing that can happen. Once you hit someone. The person lose all respect and trust for you. The relationship will never be the same. There will always be an element of fear when people are around you. People tip toe around you fearing that they will make you angry, say the wrong thing and get beaten up for nothing. People will not tell you any truthful things or give you feedback to help you improve because you might beat them up. You only want to hear good things about yourself and so this is what false friends will tell you and you just rot further until you are un-salvagable.
You say you wanna change. You think its so easy? Talk is cheap. I have hear so many people say they want to change but never did anything. Then they claim they change loh. Many people change for the worse only. Most people are not even committed and do not have the will. Most people I know only tok c0ck.
You truly want to change? You sure?
YOU want to change?
Are you aware of the extent of hurt you have done?
Do you even know the level of hurt and disappointment you caused?
Are YOU sure you want to change?
Do you think you can change?
Are you sure you are ready?
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if you are sincere about changing
then u got to change for yourself
and not use her as a reason to change
only if you honestly look into yourself
and confront your own ugly side
than you can change from the inside
changing so that you can win her back is going to be just 'biao mian gong fu' shallow changes
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so self centred...cannot get wat u want..u go hit people... wake up and smell the coffee please...
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as much as i love her, i know what i had done was on impulse. now i know its on impulse, i have to curb such things, the counselor has taught me ways to curb violence and anger, but to only the extent i have to apply it too.
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People say, you listen but it didn't change the internal process.
What's the use. Waste time only.
Not many people know what a real change is all about. I've seen people make superficial changes and think they changed. Real change process is very painful and hard. I am doubtful if all the counselling help if the person is not committed.
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Why did you hit a defenceless girl?
You sucks..
