should she?
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Originally posted by MS:
I hope I have terribly miscomprehend your messgae. With this 30K ring crusade, you are not only going to filter the wrong guys. You are also inviting the wrong men into your life. I have friends who can easily afford the 30K ring for their gf but choosed not to. Because such girls are nothing more than a materialistic girl who gauge feelings with wealth. Stays in a owned landed property with no loan, easily afford an Audi TT, works as a senior manager in a bank in Raffles Place and in his 30s. We hang out together on motorbike outings and I sometimes feel weird as he is not able to 'get attached'. It was only later when we got closer in the brethrenhood that he revealed he reluctance to get involved in a relationship. Most of the girls he has got attached to were only with him because of his stable career. The girls were unwilling to share the burden of caring for his sick parents, minded the fact that his dad is a cancer strickened patient and he'd much prefer a family member to care for him rather an employed nurse. Anyway, his dad has passed away and he has never regretted his decision to stay single all these years.There are plenty of men I know out there dumped by girls who found them too poor. Too lowly educated. Not presentable as a trophy bf. etc etc... Sometimes my heart goes out to these men while they frantically try to please they hard to please gf. Splurging their pay on something with only aesthetic value for their gf. Absolutely an icon of folly.
Surrounded by the surrealism of 'love'... They think they will make their gf love them more. But little did they know they were being treated as a spare tyre.
No doubt, I know there are guys who goes around playing with feelings. I have even accompanied one guy to visit 3 girls in one night. Little did I know he was using me as a form of shield in case the girls' brothers or friends beat him up. All 3 were impregnated by him. And all 3 were visited in one night in order to make a settlement. An utter jerk.
But do take into consideration for some of the guys out there who are truely interested in looking for a relationship and love. Even though they can only afford a $300 ring.
I will wish them all the best in their future relationships.
Sadly, not everybody shares the same expectations.
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Originally posted by Evangel:
Hah! That is what im afraid of. Never seek help early, delay the abortion, now the baby has a heartbeat. Must be a few months already. I know the baby is innocent, it is a mistake that both parties have to pay.
Do you think its easy for the mother to give birth and then give up the baby for abortion? Again, the baby is innocent, have you spared a thought for the mother?
People just know how to yell "the baby is innocent heh?" Are your advice constructive? More problems would occur.
I dont know how many months already, but i guess abortion is risky now.
An advice for ladies, if you have unwanted pregnancy, pls seek help early.
it was late at night when i reply this. -
Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
nope, i don't like vaccuming babies as much as anyone out here i suppose.yes, letting her go through the pregnancy and then later give up her child for adoption is indeed one of the ways to solve this problem. But we have to think about the discrimination from others that she may bear. For a going-to-be mother, what it matters most is for her to stay happy during the pregnancy. Prenatal depression isnt going to be very good for the child.
I'm not really an abortion type of person but considering the plight that she is in now. There isnt much choice isnt it? Both abortion and giving the child up for adoption have their drawbacks. It really depends on what the girl's decision. Both are certain to leave unremovable scars in the girl's heart and make her live with regrets for the rest of her life.
To be fair, both the girl and the guy are at fault. That guy for being a total jerk and the girl for failing to protect herself before the act of passion.
Tat guy's a jerk who i will slaughter everytime i see him even though i don't know him. Leaving the girl all along after a life is created from their act of passion. He should at least stayed by her side. Both abortion and adoption would be a very tough process for the girl and she desperately needs someone by her side to support her. Not willing to bear the responsibilty? Why did he not even take the necessary precautions back then? And now just wipe his buttocks clean and just walk away and leaving the girl behind. Irresponsible!
At this increasingly liberal age, girls must learn to take care of themselves really as they all stand to lose when it comes to this kind of situation while guys have nothing to lose.
Cool down can or not?Maybe I shouldn't use strong descriptive words like "vaccuming babies"?
My fault, I'm sorry.
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pro life?
pro abortion?
the stuff people who don't use contraceptive faces.
stop your worries. use it
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Originally posted by Rednano:
y dont u guys and gals dont give a damn serious thought alternatively for the gal to put up her baby for adoption...
its rather selfish, and the high possibility to live with regret with an abortion... the mental stress and occasional nightmare might occur
if ur parents aborted u pple at that time of u being conveived, u think u pple will even exist to be typing away here...
yes the child is innocent, and the gal status now is officially a mother though unwed, with a child LIVING inside her...
best is advise the girl to give birth and put up for adoption under MCYS...I don't think any girls would want to give up their baby for adoption.
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Originally posted by skythewood:
pro life?
pro abortion?
the stuff people who don't use contraceptive faces.
stop your worries. use it
Best way is "No SEX Please"And Virginity FTW!!!! ~ RAWR~
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Originally posted by parn:
Cool down can or not?Maybe I shouldn't use strong descriptive words like "vaccuming babies"?
My fault, I'm sorry.
i'm chilled XD was mad at that guy when i typed that XD and got more and more mad as i typed on =P
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Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
i'm chilled XD was mad at that guy when i typed that XD and got more and more mad as i typed on =P
o.O
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When i was typing that, i was a bit mad with that guy mah when i thought about the whole incident again because he left that girl in a lurch and got a bit emotional as i typed on =/
i'm alright now XD
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Originally posted by sweetevil:
Some people might say they will do this and do that...but when it really happens to them, they end up backing out. Just remember that it's always easier to say than to do. Raising a child is a long term responsibility. It's not as simple as you think.
I am neither for or against abortions. My stand is let the person decide herself or themselves whether to keep the baby or not. As rational people, I am sure they would have thought about the consequences of either giving birth or abortion before coming to a final decision.
Everyone has different beliefs and goals in life. It's what they choose to follow. Why must it always be that when a girl gets pregnant, she must give birth to the baby? and thinks that if the girl doesn't give birth to the child she's not responsible?
I'm fed up with this thinking that girls must ALWAYS give birth if they are pregnant.and I'm tired of the hypocritical thinking of humans. Abortion is killing an innocent life and hence is morally wrong...but killing animals for fur and leather is perfectly OK.
hey! i do agree wif tis!! "I'm fed up with this thinking that girls must ALWAYS give birth if they are pregnant."
cuz @ the end of the day..is the gals who will go through the mental stress from those gossip while the guys can hide (i am NOT implying that this applies for all guys)..hence..is really a tough decision for gals..
moreover..if the gals gave birth to the child..they have developed a 10mth bond with the kid & will go through harder emotional turmoil should they give up the child for abortion
AND
what's worst is that she couldn't raise the kid on her own & her alternative is to give up for abortion...
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Originally posted by sweetevil:
Some people might say they will do this and do that...but when it really happens to them, they end up backing out. Just remember that it's always easier to say than to do. Raising a child is a long term responsibility. It's not as simple as you think.
I am neither for or against abortions. My stand is let the person decide herself or themselves whether to keep the baby or not. As rational people, I am sure they would have thought about the consequences of either giving birth or abortion before coming to a final decision.
Everyone has different beliefs and goals in life. It's what they choose to follow. Why must it always be that when a girl gets pregnant, she must give birth to the baby? and thinks that if the girl doesn't give birth to the child she's not responsible?
I'm fed up with this thinking that girls must ALWAYS give birth if they are pregnant.and I'm tired of the hypocritical thinking of humans. Abortion is killing an innocent life and hence is morally wrong...but killing animals for fur and leather is perfectly OK.
i agree! "I'm fed up with this thinking that girls must ALWAYS give birth if they are pregnant."the gals are the ones who will suffer from all the gossips if she choose to give birth to the child..sometimes is not they don't want..is more like..they can't..
moreover if they really choose to give up for abortion (even if they can tahan those gossips)..think of the mental turmoil that they have to go thru also..10mth bond with the child liao leh..and to give up the child just like that..
AND..
sometimes is really bo bian..they can't afford to support the kid..& hence..can only resort to adoption..
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ultimately its her life. and she should also always remember, if she abort, she has just killed a life. through it all, for the death of a life, I really hope the girls learn a lesson and not let the death of her baby be wasted.
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Originally posted by MS:
I hope I have terribly miscomprehend your messgae. With this 30K ring crusade, you are not only going to filter the wrong guys. You are also inviting the wrong men into your life. I have friends who can easily afford the 30K ring for their gf but choosed not to. Because such girls are nothing more than a materialistic girl who gauge feelings with wealth. Stays in a owned landed property with no loan, easily afford an Audi TT, works as a senior manager in a bank in Raffles Place and in his 30s. We hang out together on motorbike outings and I sometimes feel weird as he is not able to 'get attached'. It was only later when we got closer in the brethrenhood that he revealed he reluctance to get involved in a relationship. Most of the girls he has got attached to were only with him because of his stable career. The girls were unwilling to share the burden of caring for his sick parents, minded the fact that his dad is a cancer strickened patient and he'd much prefer a family member to care for him rather an employed nurse. Anyway, his dad has passed away and he has never regretted his decision to stay single all these years.There are plenty of men I know out there dumped by girls who found them too poor. Too lowly educated. Not presentable as a trophy bf. etc etc... Sometimes my heart goes out to these men while they frantically try to please they hard to please gf. Splurging their pay on something with only aesthetic value for their gf. Absolutely an icon of folly.
Surrounded by the surrealism of 'love'... They think they will make their gf love them more. But little did they know they were being treated as a spare tyre.
No doubt, I know there are guys who goes around playing with feelings. I have even accompanied one guy to visit 3 girls in one night. Little did I know he was using me as a form of shield in case the girls' brothers or friends beat him up. All 3 were impregnated by him. And all 3 were visited in one night in order to make a settlement. An utter jerk.
But do take into consideration for some of the guys out there who are truely interested in looking for a relationship and love. Even though they can only afford a $300 ring.
parn is just joking nia..
i also replied in 1 of her thread tt we shd add 1 more clause "sub. card with no credit limit"
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Both in wrong. Now the unborn suffer the consequence
my friend wanted to give birth to the child & give it a complete family..
is that jerk what...he refuse to take responsiblity & my friend couldn't afford to raise the kid alone..
Plan A(bortion) is the oni alternative for her..
you think that she bears to do it meh?..
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Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
When i was typing that, i was a bit mad with that guy mah when i thought about the whole incident again because he left that girl in a lurch and got a bit emotional as i typed on =/
i'm alright now XD
i even feel like slapping that guy right now.. & wakes him up..i wonder if he read this link liao?..& see what a jerk he is..& how's everybody commenting on his irresponsible ways..
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
i even feel like slapping that guy right now.. & wakes him up..i wonder if he read this link liao?..& see what a jerk he is..& how's everybody commenting on his irresponsible ways..
use the ah long methods at his flat, school or workplace. -
Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
my friend wanted to give birth to the child & give it a complete family..
is that jerk what...he refuse to take responsiblity & my friend couldn't afford to raise the kid alone..
Plan A(bortion) is the oni alternative for her..
you think that she bears to do it meh?..
so how exactly now for ur friend...? updates? -
Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
i even feel like slapping that guy right now.. & wakes him up..i wonder if he read this link liao?..& see what a jerk he is..& how's everybody commenting on his irresponsible ways..
Slap him, then cut "it" off -
Originally posted by XxYaNxX:
Slap him, then cut "it" off
kick in between the legs is the best. -
Originally posted by Rednano:
use the ah long methods at his flat, school or workplace.
i think i will be in jail before I can hear his comments after reading this thread..hahas -
Originally posted by XxYaNxX:
Slap him, then cut "it" off
LOL..2 prevent him for causing hurt to some otr gals, apart from my victimized friend..feel so tempted to post his stupid foto up here..humiliate him to the core *poutS*
but..sekali i tio sued =.='''
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
LOL..2 prevent him for causing hurt to some otr gals, apart from my victimized friend..feel so tempted to post his stupid foto up here..humiliate him to the core *poutS*
but..sekali i tio sued =.='''
pls post... just mosaic his eyes -
scared leh =.='''
or if i tio whack by him..zzz
he confirmed 100% stamp chop guaranteed know that is done by me..esp. aft i show him the thread..
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
scared leh =.='''
or if i tio whack by him..zzz
he confirmed 100% stamp chop guaranteed know that is done by me..esp. aft i show him the thread..
Show
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A few issues to address.
Singapore is currently opened to a lot of foreigners, but deep down, being a single-mum is still not accepted by all. Be it discrimination or gossip towards the mother or child, it just boils down to how the mother is able to handle, as well as take the 'verbal abuse'.
To abort or not to abort, depends on how strong your fren is.
Logically, many would say that w/o finance, w/o a proper family, the birth of a child should be ceased. Others may said that the child is innocent and that responsibility of the consequence should be beared. It's not rightfully right to 'take away' something just because you felt you don't have the ability to do so and will bring it more harm than good. Ever think from the child's view? A child may blame you, but he/she may not either; it boils down to how you bring and teach him/her up.
Just like before 'Divorce' was ever introduced, it's a taboo in the olden times for a wife to leave their husbands no matter what the husbands have done. But now, 'Divorce' is pretty common as it serves as an 'alternative' to 'solve' things just like the word 'abortion'.
The day one started having pre-martial doings, one should have expected there may be a day the girl will be pregnant.
Yes, counselling sessions and a video tape are things a girl has to go through when she decides to go for abortion; and it's not easy.
To give birth - either send for adoption or raise on your own.
To send for adoption, some girls may feel that the adopted parents are more capable to provide for the child; but she will have to be able to bear the 'pain' of being separated from her own fresh and blood, a child she has in her womb for 9 months plus, a child who can start kicking her at 6 months plus.
A thing which most guys can never understand is the feeling of something growing inside you; the happiness of seeig the ultrasound scan, the happiness of feeling the heart beat, the happiness of seeing the ultasound pic which the doc will print out for u at each visit, the happiness of shopping for baby clothes (shop at cheaper stores if finance don't allow), the expectation of seeing the child at first sight, the hearing of the child's first cries, the pain and long hours a girl have to go through during labour etc.
Your fren has to weigh the effects of giving birth (raise on her own/adoption) or abortion. Effects as in the consequences she has to face, be it mental or physical, and whether she will be able to take it.
Once aborted, there's no 'rewinding'; goes the same for sending for adoption or raising on her own.
I have frenz who went for abortion; ironically, she seems pretty at ease with things as she's a pretty practical person.
I have frenz who are single mothers; they gave birth when they were still schooling. Now they are working, finance is much better, but obviously, during the initial years, it was pretty bad. They have to save and be thrifty on every single cent. Initally, they practically have no social life, life is devoted to the babies, because there's only one of them, no father, to care for the babies. Only when the kids are older, do they get a social life.
Sort of 'Ku jing gan lai'
Lastly, not all guys are not able to accept a single mother; my single-parent friends are getting married, and throughout these few years, they don't have lack of suitors, in fact the guys still went after them despite knowing they are single mothers.
But obviously, my frenz took a very long time to walk out of their hurting past and, in addition, the day they decided to give birth, they have given up hopes on marriage. Now, they just felt having a husband is = a bonus. (",)
Actually, the most important thing is how strong is your friend? The route in the future is, in a way, unpredictable.
*I understand that u mention that the guy 'offer' to pay for maintenance, my advise if ur friend wants to give birth, don't take the maintenance, but do get the guy to sign a official lawyer letter stating that the guy willngly gives up all his rights to the child. No single mother would want to see a 'sudden appearance' of a guy saying that he wants back his child after e.g. ten years. He has a right to, if he has been supporting the child financially and in addition, he's the rightful father. -- Just a precaution. (",)
Oh, besides, as for the kids, I watched them grow up, they are good and sensible, I guess it boils down to how my friends taught them. They did ask for their fathers, but knowing that when they ask, my frenz would feel sad, they rather chose not to. They seldom ask when they are older, my frenz did more than they could to cover as a mother and a father. It may be difficult and a father may never be able to be replaced, but a kid can feel and see, feel and see a mother's LOVE.