wife want a divorce
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what does a sister have to do with separating the children from their mother?
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Originally posted by A.T.R:
haiya jay...u are not a failure....the real failure is ur wife....tis kind of women don't deserve ur love and the children...b4 even divorce go flirt wit other men alrdy...disappointed in singaporean girls.....I think you have a failure to read the story and check the nationality of the females.
Well.....too bad then....I am sure Singaporean girls already got over their disappointment for CMI men. Not just from Singapore.
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Originally posted by A.T.R:
haix wad are singaporean women thinking nowadays....?
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my wife is a foreigner from a angmo country nearest to us.but she is chinese. she is educated and breed in that country for 20+ years.
i am 100% singaporean breed.
we are legalised married in singapore.
our kids are born in australia but now also citizen of that country, she apply for them without my consent.
i appreciate ppl who pity me but in a fail marriage it is not about blaming who, it takes 2 to clap. i should have back down during our initial marriage. but now looking back, it is too late. coz she probably found someone she like although we yet to divorce. i am powerless to stop her. just trying my best to woo her back. i am willing to gove up anything if she come back to me. but this is wishful thinking.
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And on another note.
Any females wishing to request for matrimonial and child maintenace need to submit that request to Singapore courts, if the children are ever born in Singapore or has a parent from Singapore, and also residing in Singapore. Plus if the marriage is registered in Singapore.
And oh.....no worry that the wife will remarry if you are providing a handsome amount of maintenace $$$, cos they will lose that in the event they marry. That woman is smart, she will just keep herself a f buddy, a toyboy or a long terrm relationship with whichever men that er hem.....likes her despite her having children and husband.
And technically, if one party still wishes to maintain the marriage, that one party just has to show proof that he is willing to maintain the marriage in Singapore and have a extra year for reconciliation. ie. 4 years before the divorce can be finalised.
In such a event, the court can very well allow the parent in Singapore to retrieve the children and placed under parent in Singapore's custody.
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haiya jay...u are not a failure....the real failure is ur wife....tis kind of women don't deserve ur love and the children...b4 even divorce go flirt wit other men alrdy...disappointed in singaporean girls...
bro, u r probably still young, there are lotsa good gals in singapore.
i had a good gf before i married but it is destine sometimes, the person that suit you the most dont really can be your wife.
But if u find someone u love or she love u. treasure it, this is what i had fail. i regret it.
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Originally posted by Jay.ho34:
my wife is a foreigner from a angmo country nearest to us.but she is chinese. she is educated and breed in that country for 20+ years.
i am 100% singaporean breed.
we are legalised married in singapore.
our kids are born in australia but now also citizen of that country, she apply for them without my consent.
i appreciate ppl who pity me but in a fail marriage it is not about blaming who, it takes 2 to clap. i should have back down during our initial marriage. but now looking back, it is too late. coz she probably found someone she like although we yet to divorce. i am powerless to stop her. just trying my best to woo her back. i am willing to gove up anything if she come back to me. but this is wishful thinking.
Will you mind dont post anything on that last emotional part. Its frankly junk for me to read thru, and I am at a angmoh country that is 0318 hours now, I am forgoing sleep and typing here, and my temper is terribly short.~~~Its high time here that you consult a lawyer here and maybe in Australia (If she is australian chinese as you said), that will tell you what you should cut down on what $$$ you are sending to your wife.
tip: separation papers are not filed in court during separation period. So you best talk to a lawyer to get the know how.
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And oh.....no worry that the wife will remarry if you are providing a handsome amount of maintenace $$$, cos they will lose that in the event they marry. That woman is smart, she will just keep herself a f buddy, a toyboy or a long terrm relationship with whichever men that er hem.....likes her despite her having children and husband.
And technically, if one party still wishes to maintain the marriage, that one party just has to show proof that he is willing to maintain the marriage in Singapore and have a extra year for reconciliation. ie. 4 years before the divorce can be finalised.
In such a event, the court can very well allow the parent in Singapore to retrieve the children and placed under parent in Singapore's custody.
thanks for the advice. i am a decent middle income earner. i dont mind pay the amount that allow her to live a decent live and comfortable living for the kids. i can never put myself stopping payment even she married someone else as long as she require it. if the kids is in her hands, i can only pay it. the rest i dont wana think that far.
my wife is not a bad person, so pls dont think it is all her fault. it is my fault becoz i couldnt be a husband she wanted me. i feel sad for my kids becoz our differences could cause so much damage to them. i wanted to start again but i guess it is too late, i can sense she really seeing someone else even though she deny it. men six senses are quite accurate in desperate times.
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So on the whole. This has nothing totally to do with wanting the kids to live with you.
Or that she is a biatch and that you are not willing or able to move over to be the husband she needed.
This is just about a impending cut off from your relationship link with a wife and children.
K fine......rant all you want. I think I best go to sleep.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
So on the whole. This has nothing totally to do with wanting the kids to live with you.
Or that she is a biatch and that you are not willing or able to move over to be the husband she needed.
This is just about a impending cut off from your relationship link with a wife and children.
K fine......rant all you want. I think I best go to sleep.
so bad....no wonder u nick is vicious kitty...lols
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My condolences....
Maybe you can think of a new idea....or talk about ur fears and concerns, hopes, to her.....
Perhaps she would be receptive and change her minds too....
Maybe you can write a letter? A real snailmail letter.
See how it goes...and I wish u well.
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how bout u save tis topic....as ur children grow mature.....show them tis topic!!hahas
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Originally posted by Jay.ho34:
i had think abt that as well. but i still cannot accept my kids calling someone else dad or even uncle. as time go by, they will no longer regards me as dad, coz i dint see them day to day or could i share their problems and educate them. my wife is living her parents now in foreign country. so every year i go visit them 4 times, staying in their house, of coz her parents not knowing the separation she has file. one day when she married, how can i ever visit them on a regular basis.
i dont want to resort fighting for custody but i fear she married the wrong guy who abuse my kids. she is not working and depending on my remmitance and her welfare. my income can easily support my 2 kids here in singapore.
i am not sure what are my chances. i am very confuse, i want the kids but i dont wish them to be separated with their sister but i wanted them to be safe from future harm. For my children sake, i am willing to remain single for the rest of my life.
i hope she can return to me.
There is a distinctive difference in the cultures of the two countries. Being brought up in a foreign place, you cannot expect them to share your thoughts.
Being in your current predicament, it is easy to become emotional. Blinded by such, you become irrational. There is nothing you can do if your wife insists in grabbing the children away. Also, a cheating wife will never admit to you. Claiming that the dubious relationship is platonic is a common practice for such people.
Give your children an opportunity to choose who they want to be with. Even if they acknowledge someone else as their father, you will still have to accept it. A biological parent will never be able to beat someone who raise them up.
Your worries about your wife marrying someone abusive is not unfounded. At the same time, if she realises that the new husband is not going to fulfill his role as a father and husband, she will also move on with the kids given the fact that you are aware of her affections for them.
Don't rush into a custodial contest. Such dispute only goes to show how petty and short sighted we are. Possessive love is selfish. It is not love. Love can be shown in many ways. One way is to sacrifice yourself by playing the positively contributing bad guy. The bread giver yet the one who is constantly painted as the forsaker. For your children, you will be willing to play such a detested role.
If you are 34 this year, I am just a few years younger than you. I'm fine if you need to rant. PM me if you think it's more convenient.
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love is not about possession. Love is jus about the happiness of the other party. as long as she is happy, can le.
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like what they say, time will heal all wound.
If my wife wana to married someone else, i could not bring myself to congratulate them nor will i curse them.
I just worried about my kids being in her custody. as they are still very young, they would not know how to defend against abusive step father.
simply demoralise.
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Originally posted by Jay.ho34:
like what they say, time will heal all wound.
If my wife wana to married someone else, i could not bring myself to congratulate them nor will i curse them.
I just worried about my kids being in her custody. as they are still very young, they would not know how to defend against abusive step father.
simply demoralise.
Cheer up
. At least you are still alive which means you still can do something. -
Originally posted by Jay.ho34:
like what they say, time will heal all wound.
If my wife wana to married someone else, i could not bring myself to congratulate them nor will i curse them.
I just worried about my kids being in her custody. as they are still very young, they would not know how to defend against abusive step father.
simply demoralise.
hw do u noe the other party is abusive? u should b glad ur wife has found her happiness. and u should find ur own happiness too.
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hw do u noe the other party is abusive? u should b glad ur wife has found her happiness. and u should find ur own happiness too.
i dont know whether they are abusive but i cannot rule that possibility too.
if she has found her love, i wont congratulate her or will i curse her. It will be easier if we dont have kids involve.
i am not sure what to do next, i am pondering and possibly seeking legal advice about my available options. i wont allow my kids to call other fathers or live with someone else.
it is very different if it is just normal BGR.
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i noe how determined u are to claim ur kids!!u have my best support....i dun tink the children will have a happy life wif the mother as she's more or less more concerned about her love life...the children wil be spoilt if they are wit her....u deserve the children!!!
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Originally posted by A.T.R:
i noe how determined u are to claim ur kids!!u have my best support....i dun tink the children will have a happy life wif the mother as she's more or less more concerned about her love life...the children wil be spoilt if they are wit her....u deserve the children!!!
+1.
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hmm..nothing to say..
i think usually mother will get the custody of children but I think you should try maybe you can get it..
If you've lost, never mind.. at least you've tried.
Keep working hard and achieving for succeed..
Prove to your wife you can life without her..
and 1day, your children will come back to you..
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Originally posted by Jay.ho34:
some of my colleagues are divorce as well. most of them in fact 90% over dont have custody over their children. if i fight for it, my chances of winning are slim and if would provoke her to take action hidding the kids from me. she now insist she want to be my good friends and i can visit the kids as and when i wish but once she really hook up with another man, such promise will be change. maybe i just think too much but these days, what else can i do?
in the worse case, if i lost custody i hope i can save few hundred K to buy them a house under my kids name.
dun bother doing all these....the best thing is to be together with your wife and children. Psycho them with lots of love. And when I say phycho, use your creativity to win their hearts.
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as you know, if a woman has determined to leaving her husband , she wont come back again especially she's already had another guy..
no chance..
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i agree if a woman has determined to leaving her husband , she wont come back again especially she's already had another guy. this has happen to few of my colleagues and now my wife.
i should prepare for the worse and start thinking what i need to do.
maybe i need to go for counselling n seek spritually getaway.
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haha... glad if you know how to handle your problem..
some of guy cant accept reality..
glad for you..