Bring girlfriend for reunion dinner ?
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coz I oso dun like thick-skinned outsiders @ our reunion dinner mah, be it my bf anot.
Wife is he ownself choose de – he has the choice whether anot to take her shit.
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alrdy a few years girlfriend le, if u nvr bring her she few unofficial mah, she feel if u serious with her u will include her in family events, unless u feel shameful like want to hide your relationship in the closet.....as if u 2 not officially together
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Originally posted by SilverSurf:
My girlfriend quarrelled with me that for the past few years I do not include her in for our family reunion dinner and also when go visiting we do seperate visiting (she follow her family, I follow my family) and not as a couple. Her family always extend their invites to me for all their reunion dinner but she said my family does not do that.
I don't know if it is me but I explained to her I feel that its only appropriate to include her for reunion dinner after we got married or when we planned to get married. Now I want to include her she also don't want to come. That creates an uproar that she want to break up with me =(
For my brothers and sisters they also don't bring their partner along until they are married. Want to hear views of couples out there...am I just being stupid to have this kind of thoughts ?
My sis is returning from Australia for a vacation here with mum. The 3 of us are meeting up for 'reunion' dinner. Her bf did not follow her back even though airfares are really very affordable. At the same time, some people may frown, we're not eating steamboat at home nor having Oriental dishes in a decent Chinese restaurant. But rather at an Italian restaurant. It's not even special. I meet my mum weekly for mother and son meet ups at similar restaurants. Just that this time, my sister also joins in. It's only a dinner that can be conducted any time of the year. I believe non of your family members are permanently abroad. No need to wait till the special day. The ultimate point is your formal introduction of your gf to your family.
Take it easy and explain things to her. Have a discerning mind. Family is indeed important, but at the same time, you must be able to cater to the needs of sensitivity of everyone as much as possible.
And before I forget, happy Chinese New Year in advance to you!!
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Originally posted by SilverSurf:
Aiya some of you misunderstood .When I said i didn't bring her for the past few reunion dinner, its when I've not proposed to her yet. Now that I've proposed to her and want to include her in the dinner, she dun want to come liao and bring up to quarrel that why i last time didn't include her when we are bf/gf
Actually what parn said earlier is true. I take reunion dinner as a important thing as its a family reunion mah.Other than the reunion dinner, I do bring her back for normal dinner or when there is some special occassion like any of my family's birthday
I know by not including her earlier is like excluding her and also its my fault for insensitive. Think its a matter of what I believe vs being sensitive...sigh...
You're lucky she's still around ..
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
i think you guys are stupid,reunion dinner are meant for family members and it is a tradition.
she has her own family member to have dinner with, and furthermore, she does attend special occasion of TS family...
i think this kind of girl should be dumped for not being understanding enough and acting like a total biatch. for those who supported her, i guess you're just ungrateful children who puts your relationship ovr your family.
this is what they say "as children goes into a relationship, they start to forget about family"
what an idiot. even friends are more important than your girlfriend, girlfriends come and go, true friends don't and family don't.
I agree. Just a gf only, why she think she so important? Family reunion means what? For family members to gather la. I'm sure TS got bring her for other get togethers, so what's the big deal over the family reunion dinner? Blood is thicker than water...You should ask yourself if she is the one for you, or you just marrying because you guys paktoh so long. Seems so small gas over small matter. She making a big deal over nothing, so don't need bring her for dinner la. Not married already wanna cling to you meh...lol
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Originally posted by FreeStarbucksCoffee:
I agree. Just a gf only, why she think she so important? Family reunion means what? For family members to gather la. I'm sure TS got bring her for other get togethers, so what's the big deal over the family reunion dinner? Blood is thicker than water...You should ask yourself if she is the one for you, or you just marrying because you guys paktoh so long. Seems so small gas over small matter. She making a big deal over nothing, so don't need bring her for dinner la. Not married already wanna cling to you meh...lol
Oh. Like that ah. Gf not important ?
So family reunion.. guys don't mind gf don't bring him along ?
Does this works both ways ?
My boyfriends last time also got make a big stink when I don't invite them for family gatherings leh. Why har ?
In relationship.. what is important is reciprocate. Not what blood what water. OK ?
If she invites your for her family reunion dinner.. then you also invite her to your family reunion dinner ?
What is so difficult about simple courtesy ?
Don't know how to give and take.. then please .. don't get attached. Understand ?
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i personally c no wrong bringing gf for reunion dinner cos i feel tat since she alr is my gf .. she is special enuff to join my family on this special day .... soon bian can intro to grandma , aunts, uncles , cousins , etc
as for her side .. it depends on her ... i totally respect any decision on whether or not to include me in her family reunion or visiting.
i not very particular about this kind of thing .
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Oh. Like that ah. Gf not important ?
So family reunion.. guys don't mind gf don't bring him along ?
Does this works both ways ?
My boyfriends last time also got make a big stink when I don't invite them for family gatherings leh. Why har ?
In relationship.. what is important is reciprocate. Not what blood what water. OK ?
If she invites your for her family reunion dinner.. then you also invite her to your family reunion dinner ?
What is so difficult about simple courtesy ?
Don't know how to give and take.. then please .. don't get attached. Understand ?
then i guess you should dump your boyfriend then.
think about it this way, there ARE some things that are meant for FAMILY members only, and by being a girlfriend doesn't mean you've joined the family, put this in mind, you're still ms.<your own surname> and not MRS.<your husband's surname>.
what makes you think that you have the right to kick a big fuss about not being invited for a reunion dinner for FAMILY MEMBERS? it is obvious that TS's gf does not respect the family's culture. not she feels unwanted, she has total no respect at all for TS, and his family.
don't know how to be understanding and give and take? don't get attached then, these words shoot right back to you jojo.
different family different cultures, you can't say that its courtesy to invite just because her parents invited him over for reunion dinner, different family takes it differently.
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
then i guess you should dump your boyfriend then.
think about it this way, there ARE some things that are meant for FAMILY members only, and by being a girlfriend doesn't mean you've joined the family, put this in mind, you're still ms.<your own surname> and not MRS.<your husband's surname>.
what makes you think that you have the right to kick a big fuss about not being invited for a reunion dinner for FAMILY MEMBERS? it is obvious that TS's gf does not respect the family's culture. not she feels unwanted, she has total no respect at all for TS, and his family.
don't know how to be understanding and give and take? don't get attached then, these words shoot right back to you jojo.
different family different cultures, you can't say that its courtesy to invite just because her parents invited him over for reunion dinner, different family takes it differently.
ooOoooOOhhh... somebody here is losing his cool ......and sounding like a MCP. Tsk tsk.
So you're sayin, as a gf she has no business in a family reunion.. now that she is the fiancee.. it is obligatory for her to attend his reunion ? Who wrote this stupid rule , YOU ?
With the way you think dude.. I'm sorry to say.. you can't keep a woman very long.
But it's alright, you'd probably have better chance dating another man, who thinks JUST like YOU.
Good luck with the boys.
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i seriously lol.. do people still believe in those things anymore... feel like living in the 80s
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i guess because she feels that she has introduced her family to you because she consider you as someone very important in her life that is worthy to meet her parents and be introduced to her family.
and on the other hand, u did not do the same thing for her that could be the reason she feels this way.
i notice u mention that you have already proposed to her is it ? meaning you guys are enaged , so she is her fiancee instead of your gf. so in this case, it's more or less confirmed that she is going to be your wife right? please correct me if i'm wrong.
so the choice is up to you then.
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Peeps - please take a chill pill./me wanders away
Cheers
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*rubs his chin* i never bring any of my gf to reunion dinner ..
bring to family dinner few times my dad say need to keep track.. tell me stable one then bring to reunion dinner. hahaha
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
ooOoooOOhhh... somebody here is losing his cool ......and sounding like a MCP. Tsk tsk.
So you're sayin, as a gf she has no business in a family reunion.. now that she is the fiancee.. it is obligatory for her to attend his reunion ? Who wrote this stupid rule , YOU ?
With the way you think dude.. I'm sorry to say.. you can't keep a woman very long.
But it's alright, you'd probably have better chance dating another man, who thinks JUST like YOU.
Good luck with the boys.
well, not losing any cool here..but you sound like one unreasonable GF to me.
She is already introduced to TS family, which is already an acknowledgement, before they were engaged, she has no rights to kick a big fuss about reunion dinner as it is family matters, oh yes, she's not part of the family.
but now as she is already TS fiancee, she is part of the family, and she complains that she doesn't want to go, fine. but she still has no rights to kick up a big fuss when she's just a GF, with no family status at all.
now me being MCP? this is not about chauvinism my friend jojo, this is about culture, respect, and reasoning. Pls do not think that being a person's GF, he must obey you and listen and do as you say. where is the respect for the guy and also his family?
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
well, not losing any cool here..but you sound like one unreasonable GF to me.
She is already introduced to TS family, which is already an acknowledgement, before they were engaged, she has no rights to kick a big fuss about reunion dinner as it is family matters, oh yes, she's not part of the family.
but now as she is already TS fiancee, she is part of the family, and she complains that she doesn't want to go, fine. but she still has no rights to kick up a big fuss when she's just a GF, with no family status at all.
now me being MCP? this is not about chauvinism my friend jojo, this is about culture, respect, and reasoning. Pls do not think that being a person's GF, he must obey you and listen and do as you say. where is the respect for the guy and also his family?
You got read TS posting properly or not har ? He says she only kick up a fuss after she is now her fiancee and is ELIGIBLE to attend the "highly coveted" reunion dinner.
FYI : For an argument to start.. both party must start clapping. If she says no..and he don't insist .. then there will be NO argument.
So TS say cannot go .. then she don't go.. now TS say must go.. then she must go.. harlow.. you think gf is a dog issit ?
Ofcors she feels resentful and takes issue when he FINALLY invites her to this "important" event.
You really think all girls are so gian bng har ?
If the girl is not serious with you.. or only see you as a temporary or is unsure of her future with you.. you think she will be interested to attend the reunion dinner ?
Most girls will try to avoid getting involved with the guy's family unless she is very very sure that the relationship will last.
If the relationship fails.. she also will feel awkward facing the guy's relatives.
By inviting the guy to her family reunion dinner which is JUST as important.. she is signaling the guy that " YOU ARE THE ONE".And if the relationship fails.. she will also face the same embarrassment the guy has to go through on his side.
Reunion dinner is a renunion dinner. It's just another social event. There is no such thing as which family reunion dinner is MORE important or whos is LESS important.
Nobody likes to get the shorter end of the stick.
Respect for the guy and his family ?Then the gf's family don't deserve any respect lah ?
Respect is a two way street.
If it truly is TS family culture issue.. .then TS should not attend his gf's family reunion dinner while they are just BGR status. Obviously.. TS is a double standard hypocrite. And I have provided him a suggestion to resolve the problem with the love of his lifetime.
To those innocent young guys here,
Girls don't have a level up status system.
It is either.. yes he is the one.. or no he is not. This she will figure out in 1 to 2 years time.
When you tell her.. she don't have special priviledge because she is just "gf".. then dudes.. you're really asking for TROUBLE.
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Dudes from both Mars and Venus, please cool it.
Don't forget that Earth is the middle of the crossfire.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You got read TS posting properly or not har ? He says she only kick up a fuss after she is now her fiancee and is ELIGIBLE to attend the "highly coveted" reunion dinner.
FYI : For an argument to start.. both party must start clapping. If she says no..and he don't insist .. then there will be NO argument.
So TS say cannot go .. then she don't go.. now TS say must go.. then she must go.. harlow.. you think gf is a dog issit ?
Ofcors she feels resentful and takes issue when he FINALLY invites her to this "important" event.
You really think all girls are so gian bng har ?
If the girl is not serious with you.. or only see you as a temporary or is unsure of her future with you.. you think she will be interested to attend the reunion dinner ?
Most girls will try to avoid getting involved with the guy's family unless she is very very sure that the relationship will last.
If the relationship fails.. she also will feel awkward facing the guy's relatives.
By inviting the guy to her family reunion dinner which is JUST as important.. she is signaling the guy that " YOU ARE THE ONE".And if the relationship fails.. she will also face the same embarrassment the guy has to go through on his side.
Reunion dinner is a renunion dinner. It's just another social event. There is no such thing as which family reunion dinner is MORE important or whos is LESS important.
Nobody likes to get the shorter end of the stick.
Respect for the guy and his family ?Then the gf's family don't deserve any respect lah ?
Respect is a two way street.
If it truly is TS family culture issue.. .then TS should not attend his gf's family reunion dinner while they are just BGR status. Obviously.. TS is a double standard hypocrite. And I have provided him a suggestion to resolve the problem with the love of his lifetime.
To those innocent young guys here,
Girls don't have a level up status system.
It is either.. yes he is the one.. or no he is not. This she will figure out in 1 to 2 years time.
When you tell her.. she don't have special priviledge because she is just "gf".. then dudes.. you're really asking for TROUBLE.
clap clap
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tsk tsk
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Originally posted by SilverSurf:My girlfriend quarrelled with me that for the past few years I do not include her in for our family reunion dinner( this happened a few years back, and continously, what makes you think it only started now?)and also when go visiting we do seperate visiting (she follow her family, I follow my family) and not as a couple. Her family always extend their invites to me for all their reunion dinner but she said my family does not do that.(TS got go meh?)
I don't know if it is me but I explained to her I feel that its only appropriate to include her for reunion dinner after we got married or when we planned to get married.(Explaination made and given, but she has got no respect at all towards TS's family culture, very understanding aye?) Now I want to include her she also don't want to come. That creates an uproar that she want to break up with me =(
(now that she is part of the family already, ask her to come, she uses the previous years as argument subjects which is not appropriate, what is she trying to imply? to me it's only excuses)
For my brothers and sisters they also don't bring their partner along until they are married. Want to hear views of couples out there...am I just being stupid to have this kind of thoughts ?
did you actually read or did not read? pls open up and read the bolded ones, the ones in brackets are my opinions
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
did you actually read or did not read? pls open up and read the bolded ones, the ones in brackets are my opinions
Orgasmic,
You can argue all you want with me.
You can insist that part about respect and culture. It doesn't matter to me.
Because later when you get yourself a gf, and you face the SAME problem, then you go and argue with your gf until the cows come home , about what respect and culture lor.
Women will get resentful if you slight her feelings.. worst you slight her feelings with what stupid family culture that was never enforced by your parents. And this resentment WILL come back to haunt you , again and again and again.. until you get nightmares.
I wish you happiness.. really. OK ? Good.
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To be my gf, Simple rules apply:
Respect each other,
Don't throw tantrum for no reason
Respect my parents and friends,
Thats all because this is what apply to me, and my counterpart. and i am happy cos my gf is kind enuf to know and understand me well.
I hate people who gives excuses to be late just because they are girls and using period and menstruation to throw tantrum for no apparent or acceptable reasons.
guys and girls are equal.
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
To be my gf, Simple rules apply:
Respect each other,
Don't throw tantrum for no reason
Respect my parents and friends,
Thats all because this is what apply to me, and my counterpart. and i am happy cos my gf is kind enuf to know and understand me well.
I hate people who gives excuses to be late just because they are girls and using period and menstruation to throw tantrum for no apparent or acceptable reasons.
guys and girls are equal.
guys n girls are not really equal. life is not equal to begin with. just a side point
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Originally posted by orgasmic:
To be my gf, Simple rules apply:
Respect each other,
Don't throw tantrum for no reason
Respect my parents and friends,
Thats all because this is what apply to me, and my counterpart. and i am happy cos my gf is kind enuf to know and understand me well.
I hate people who gives excuses to be late just because they are girls and using period and menstruation to throw tantrum for no apparent or acceptable reasons.
guys and girls are equal.
ideally guys and girls should be equal.. practically they are not.. just like no two individuals are in their own circumstances...
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me is so glad to hv a peaceful & happy reunion family wif my own family only!