Relationship, once broken in this type of irreparable manner, will never be the same again.
It's like breaking something, and using super glue to stick it back; the crack will forever be visible.
So before you do anything stupid, think. The brain is up there, not down.
Originally posted by storywolf:I don't see the different & don't except the lame excuse of it was the past !!! Whether it is the past - you are still response for it still.
if based on your theory - you kill someone last year - you are a murder then, but since you with current bf - you did not kill anyone yet - does that make you not a murder ? You still killed someone !!!
I looked at the problem from this angle before and that was why I had considered forgiving him.
I think it's the same crime the only difference is I did not plan for it to be this way whereas he had planned everything, msges starting from February to the deed in March and somemore contacting other escorts right up till last week. All this while he can act like nothing has happened.
If a murderer turns a new leaf we might be able to forgive him, but what if he was murdering behind your back and sleeping beside you at night?
hey ts,
you are talking about marriage in a 1 year old relationship? how much do u know about this guy? dont u know its a little rush to be discussing such issues at that stage of your relationship.
i sympathise with you the heart breaks u have gone through and i despise those who buy sex be it male or female. simply becasuse its a matter of self control and respect here.
gucci belt? come on, a relationship is not measured on monetary terms. its give and take and sometimes its only giving so dont expect the other party to always reciprocate.
u dont necessarily reap what u sow in a relationship. just my two cents.
Originally posted by storywolf:I don't see the different & don't except the lame excuse of it was the past !!! Whether it is the past - you are still response for it still.
if based on your theory - you kill someone last year - you are a murder then, but since you with current bf - you did not kill anyone yet - does that make you not a murder ? You still killed someone !!!
Lawl, this theory is so damn simple .. U just wan to complicated it .. Ok i will play along with u.
Your logic is the same as anyone with a beard is your dad as long your dad got a beard. So this make sense? U dun label ppl this way, mate.
If u notice.. One thing happen BEFORE ts and the guy got together and another thing happen AFTER they got together .. There's a reason for the words "before" and "after" to be in the dictionary.
I sleep with my ex gf and flings before i got into a relationship with future girlfriend is not even close to being unfaithful .. When u are IN a relationship and u go sleeping ard is UNFAITHFUL.
Everyone has their past and hey the thing that guy did is during the "present" of their relationship.
Originally posted by Midlusionz:Lawl, this theory is so damn simple .. U just wan to complicated it .. Ok i will play along with u.
Your logic is the same as anyone with a beard is your dad as long your dad got a beard. So this make sense? U dun label ppl this way, mate.
If u notice.. One thing happen BEFORE ts and the guy got together and another thing happen AFTER they got together .. There's a reason for the words "before" and "after" to be in the dictionary.
I sleep with my ex gf and flings before i got into a relationship with future girlfriend is not even close to being unfaithful .. When u are IN a relationship and u go sleeping ard is UNFAITHFUL.
Everyone has their past and hey the thing that guy did is during the "present" of their relationship.
Lol you actually bothered explaining so obvious
Originally posted by elindra:Lol you actually bothered explaining so obvious
I was quite surprise how that guy actually make something so simple to something so complicated.
It's like when u r young your mom refuse to buy u this particular toy and of cos being a kid u hate her but does that mean u will hate her forever just cos she do not wan to buy u that toy at the particular moment? No, u dun.
its funny that u ppl are arguing to put your points across here. but does it pose any help to ts?
Originally posted by Midlusionz:I was quite surprise how that guy actually make something so simple to something so complicated.
It's like when u r young your mom refuse to buy u this particular toy and of cos being a kid u hate her but does that mean u will hate her forever just cos she do not wan to buy u that toy at the particular moment? No, u dun.
Actually I think it's more like he's totally missing the point ...like putting the horse behind the cart
It's like there is totally no link. What TS did before she got into a relationship with her BF, really has nothing to do with what is happening now and cannot be considered cheating on him... I really cannot figure out how difficult is that to understand.
I think SW needs to buy a virgin for a bride next time he wants to get married.
Originally posted by lamb chop:its funny that u ppl are arguing to put your points across here. but does it pose any help to ts?
It helping TS indirectly if u notice and i got no patience for retards.
Originally posted by lamb chop:hey ts,
you are talking about marriage in a 1 year old relationship? how much do u know about this guy? dont u know its a little rush to be discussing such issues at that stage of your relationship.
i sympathise with you the heart breaks u have gone through and i despise those who buy sex be it male or female. simply becasuse its a matter of self control and respect here.
gucci belt? come on, a relationship is not measured on monetary terms. its give and take and sometimes its only giving so dont expect the other party to always reciprocate.
u dont necessarily reap what u sow in a relationship. just my two cents.
I think the issue is not that 1 year is too soon to broach the subject of marriage but perhaps it's taboo simply because the girl should never be the one to bring it up?
however I can't help but agree with all that you said even on that.
Originally posted by elindra:Actually I think it's more like he's totally missing the point ...like putting the horse behind the cart
It's like there is totally no link. What TS did before she got into a relationship with her BF, really has nothing to do with what is happening now and cannot be considered cheating on him... I really cannot figure out how difficult is that to understand.
I think SW needs to buy a virgin for a bride next time he wants to get married.
No need, as long she was ONCE a virgin and that's all matter to him since BEFORE and AFTER dun even exist in his world when he is living in a world of before's and after's and it's like happening every tick on the clock.
One who has to explain his/her her love - lacks love, if u love , u love, i doubt its love- its ego-gratification, and wallowing in base emotions!.
Reasons to love- later one will have reasons to ..
Utter hyprocrisy
Has it occured .... that if one is a loving person, all these postings would not be here, one does not seek approval or ... to justify one's behaviour or even seek validation, so look inwards and please be honest with urself - is it love, or sth else parading as love
Originally posted by lamb chop:its funny that u ppl are arguing to put your points across here. but does it pose any help to ts?
If you think that it wouldn't help me why did you post?
I know if I didn't need help I wouldn't have posted. It's not something glorious or to be bragged about. I really do appreciate everyone here who has shared with me their advice.
Originally posted by Aang:so if ur wife oso tink like u then wad will happen???
i dun have a wife yet...
even if i do....
i wouldnt know how to answer u till it happen.
Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
If you think that it wouldn't help me why did you post?If know if I didn't need help I wouldn't have posted. It's not something glorious or to be bragged about. I really do appreciate everyone here who has shared with me their advice.
looks like u didnt get my msg correctly. i was directing my post to storywolf and midlusionz. do arguments help in this thread? shouldnt they be posting constructive comments here.
Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
I think the issue is not that 1 year is too soon to broach the subject of marriage but perhaps it's taboo simply because the girl should never be the one to bring it up?however I can't help but agree with all that you said even on that.
1 year is not too soon to broach the subject of marriage, dear. It is too soon if u bring it up on the first date haha ^^
Love has nothing to do with what he is or what he has done, it has to do with what u are,, so what are u now, if are hurting - its is your expectations of what he has to be for u or do for u - love is not business, it is as nebulous as the clouds.
Forgiveness - not because u love him , but because he is another human being with imperfcetions, and u are rich within u - to share ur kindness , to share ur love ......
The promise of tomorrow or the future is a lie, a BIG lie, live, love and make living a play, seriousness is neurosis, its sickness - people with egos are always serious , heavy hearted
The next moment is born out of this moment - what u are being now counts!
Originally posted by Fantagf:so does that mean, if you have a wife you will allow her to go for pleasure with the male prostitute? Will you pay for her for this service?
why would i need to pay for her to cheat on me? and beside, what has it got to do with me? i am just stating the fact ard me. load of guys cheated on their wife. Just pay the nite club/ ktv pub a visit. how many of the uncle there are single? do u think their kids all grown up to be sad bastard?
Just saying that he cheated and the answer is simple. either u carryon working on the r/s to make it work and live with his past errors or simply just dump him and move on.
and that such thing does happen much more often they we like to believe. Fairy tales are nice thing we were told when young. But dun let that blind ur eye to thing that is happening ard u.
Originally posted by lamb chop:
looks like u didnt get my msg correctly. i was directing my post to storywolf and midlusionz. do arguments help in this thread? shouldnt they be posting constructive comments here.
I won't really said it's an arguement but more of a debate of which path TS should go onto.
She posted here to get suggestions on how she should solve this issue and looking at diff points of view from ppl "outside" of this problem. As for the constructive comments, many has been make and i am pretty sure TS roughly got the idea.
Cheers.
Originally posted by Midlusionz:I won't really said it's an arguement but more of a debate of which path TS should go onto.
She posted here to get suggestions on how she should solve this issue and looking at diff points of view from ppl "outside" of this problem. As for the constructive comments, many has been make and i am pretty sure TS roughly got the idea.
Cheers.
yep i understand. =)
Originally posted by tare:it only works cos both are cheating on each other, they are only letting the other do wat they themselves are doing and IF caught, no one can point finger at each other mah...
does this kinda marriage really work?
well, the wife did know.....
anyway, they still married....
i am sure "swinger" oversea are mostly married.....
Originally posted by lamb chop:
looks like u didnt get my msg correctly. i was directing my post to storywolf and midlusionz. do arguments help in this thread? shouldnt they be posting constructive comments here.
Oic... My apologies
Deadweightheart, 积�的�对以�的生活.
开心是一天,�开心也是一天
何ä¸�å¿«å¿«ä¹�ä¹�的过自己以下的日å�.
My gf has a saying 微笑�,容易过一天.
Originally posted by Kutter:Deadweightheart, 积�的�对以�的生活.
开心是一天,�开心也是一天
何ä¸�å¿«å¿«ä¹�ä¹�的过自己以下的日å�.
My gf has a saying 微笑�,容易过一天.
Indeed indeed, a wise friend of mine always tell mi, "Every morning when u wake up u have a choice to start your day happy or grounchy and it's sorta determine how's your day gonna be"
Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
Oic... My apologies
just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding. wish u all the best whatever your decision is. and have a fruitful life ahead. =)