Can you forgive him if he hired an escort and had sex too?
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By the way, is "I am sorry" really the boyfried?
I thought someone was joking or trolling.
Anyways,
For deadweightheart, I recommend that you break up with him.
You should look at this positively.
It means that you have fortunately discovered something important before you marry him or spend even more time with him and waste your time.
So look at it positively, that you have saved urself.
I wish you good luck in your next search.
By the way, I recommend that you join a dating site/ dating agency, especially those with membership subscription, over there you can find tons of serious guys with serious intention to marry (not playful immature guys)
This is good especially since you are in mid-20s also. It's time to get serious.
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Woah, the bf here too? Such a small world isnt it?
I was fortunate to have served in the army for NS. One gets to mix with all kinds of people, and it taught me much of life there, a microscopic fellowship of our fellow citizens of my peers.As a boy, i guess we love to experiment, at times bragged about conquests of females. I remembered once i was challenged to walk on the wild side - go geylang to satisfy the raging male testerones levels.
Some believe it is better than to despoil young virgins. So I joined in and walked with them on the dark beckoning streets with beautiful and alluring women smiling at you. Sadly i lost a bet for i could not bring myself to bed such women.
I guess love is more than just a satisfaction of the male need. There is no tenderness or love involved. Only pure jungle needs. I am no animal. It comes with an emptiness, for in that tender moment of fleeting physical contact, love does not exist no matter how hard you pretend, and when it is over, one is back to square one - alone again.That pros do not love you, she wants only your money and would gladly open her legs for anyone else who would pay her.
Nothing special, nothing exclusive. Trusts, faith, honour and integrity is a joke. The only perfection with such 'illusion of love' is the emptiness it brings, wherelse, if one can find a good companion, that exchange of physical tenderness holds special meaning, even if it is just to hold hands.It is something special, a bond and trust to share an exclusive life together - come what may - hell or highwater, poverty or wealth, sickness or good health. It is something rare in this world where no one trusts anyone else.
To the bf, all i can say you have lost something precious. Love doesnt come easy or to everyone. You had it in your grasp, not an emptiness but a special relationship and precious bond. May you take time to reflect on what you had lost and whom you had hurt.
Should you be forgiven, count yourself lucky. Should you not, then pick yourself up and move on. We must be responsible for our mistakes and pay its price, learn from it and be a better man tomorrow.Only you can live your own life. Others such as us can only share what we know from our own mistakes made, so that you do not make similar mistakes. Good luck.
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I don't justify what I did, because it was wrong. I was wrong. I know it now.
I only ask for one chance to prove that I can change and be a better person.
I will be faithful, not because its demanded from me, but because I know that you are the only one for me. I am sorry for not realising it sooner.
I want to be the right guy for you. Please give me a chance.
There will be no second times. There will be no more mistakes. Please please please please let me back into your life.
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Originally posted by iamsorry:
I don't justify what I did, because it was wrong. I was wrong. I know it now.
I only ask for one chance to prove that I can change and be a better person.
I will be faithful, not because its demanded from me, but because I know that you are the only one for me. I am sorry for not realising it sooner.
I want to be the right guy for you. Please give me a chance.
There will be no second times. There will be no more mistakes. Please please please please let me back into your life.
If u are sincere then go tell her directly rather than come to this public forum. Or may be you are a clone of her bf. -
u guys
really fucking believe
that this 1 is the real deal?
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I dont know your galfriend nor do i know u - if she is kind, loving - u dont have to beg, she will know that no one is perfect, and not extract promises or demand that u be this or that.
If u want to be a 'good' boy friend (there is no such thing as good person lar) or friend to anyone, be yourself, warts and all u are still human. she came into your life to teach u 'sth' , at the same time - she is now letting u know what she is made of, u also taught her some 'things'
When u beg, u are going to suffer later, become rich, rich in love, then wheter she stays or not, u are still rich lar
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
I dont know your galfriend nor do i know u - if she is kind, loving - u dont have to beg, she will know that no one is perfect, and not extract promises or demand that u be this or that.
If u want to be a 'good' boy friend (there is no such thing as good person lar) or friend to anyone, be yourself, warts and all u are still human. she came into your life to teach u 'sth' , at the same time - she is now letting u know what she is made of, u also taught her some 'things'
When u beg, u are going to suffer later, become rich, rich in love, then wheter she stays or not, u are still rich lar
huh ?
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deadweightheart-I don't know, maybe you are actually enjoying all the attention from the guys here, what with their eloquent definitions of what love SHOULD or should NOT be. I can't possibly blame them anyway, since you painted yourself an online picture of a good-looking young lady in her sexual prime, with earning power and her own ride. Methinks you should get your head out of this virtual drama playing out here. After all this IS a drama, innit? You and iamsorry as the leads, and the rest of us are the extras, the shit-stirrers and rabble-rousers.
Cheating is cheating, no two ways about it. It's not more forgiveable if it was a 'sudden passion' thing as a fellow forumer suggested. What if i have sudden passionate feelings when i'm drinking and dancing with girls at clubs every weekend? The way you all tear the guy to bits, it's as if you guys are the prosecution pressing for pre-mediated murder!
If you ask me, this is already a foregone conclusion. She will go back to him. How he treats her in the future is a different story. So yeah, all you web jockeys sitting behind your monitor, dispensing 'good guy' advice in the hopes of touching this young lady's heart and getting her number, wake the F up and go back to playing DOTA.
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Let's not be too judgemental nor be overly harsh. Havent we in our life heard or even personally experience such situations ourselves before?
Put yourself in her shoes. You loved a person, put your faith and trust in her. One day you found out you were betrayed by the one you loved. Havent we know what is betrayal? School, work, social life? Whom amongst us is so fortunate that we know not the pain of betrayal?
Whether real or drama, does it matter on the internet, whereby we know not each other, but only by words and the expression of oneself thru phrases and emotions represented by words? Step away from the computer, and we would never know each other, even if we were to be sharing a table in a foodcourt.
Within anonymity, will one daringly expresses himself/herself, for there is no need to fear, words cannot harm unlike sticks, stones and the condemnation in real life. For those who doubt the veracity of words, then begone and avoid such sites.
What will and have one lost by sharing experiences? What is so wrong if one seeks friendship on the net that he/she must be casted with less than noble effort? What kind of society are we building if we distrust each other even anonymously?
What happens here ends here if one wish and need not go further, for within anonymity, one still has the control situations.There is no need to be overly critical of others who only seeks to share, for such condemnation lies not with them, but with the one who condemns, showing a lack of tolerance, insensitivity and a sense of deluded superiority, sadly proving absolute immaturity.
We as a society are facing a rising divorce rate. Let us within our capacity help in ways we can to bring a better understanding, so that more be aware and take courage in relationships and forming families. They are the rocks of stability for a society and civilisation to grow.But more important than society or civilisation IS THE INDIVIDUAL. This is a beautiful planet despite its flaws and imperfectness, even if one does not move beyond the village, and no govt or society wants anyone to be lonely or alone. Life is meant to be shared in order that it may be meaningful to our very existance.
A twinkle of the eye, a smile, a hug, the warmth of the one you love and you loved, tears away the pain and suffering of a day's slog and gives strength with courage to face another tough day.
The journey of life is never easy for anyone, regardless rich or poor, but with loved ones, it becomes bearable and meaningful. No one, absolutely no one, needs to be alone or must face it thus, for despite our difference, we are the same humans, race with similar longings.
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Originally posted by nOrmalbOi:
Bak, if im not mistaken i read some weeks back you were on the verge of getting hitched? i know to take everything online with a pinch of salt, so either im missing something or i didnt grab enuff salt lol
U sure ur news updated le mah?
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Originally posted by storywolf:
I don't see the different & don't except the lame excuse of it was the past !!! Whether it is the past - you are still response for it still.
if based on your theory - you kill someone last year - you are a murder then, but since you with current bf - you did not kill anyone yet - does that make you not a murder ? You still killed someone !!!
Boyyyyyyyyyyyyy ar~~
Do you even know what you are talking?
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Originally posted by storywolf:
Fact of life - your present is affect and make up of your past !!!
Your father sleep with your mum last time = past.
Now uncle sam sleep with your mum = present.
So if based on your theory let forget the past = let wipe of all the past .... who your real daddy = uncle sam ???
Not forget the past but for Uncle Sam to marry the mother he must accept her past if not don't marry her.
Not to forget the past but understand that the past is something you cannot change so if you have it in you to accept then don't come back and say that you want revenge.
Mother slept with father in the past, some may forgive that.
But what is Mother married Uncle Sam and still sleeps with father? There's the difference. -
Originally posted by Hellraiza:
deadweightheart-I don't know, maybe you are actually enjoying all the attention from the guys here, what with their eloquent definitions of what love SHOULD or should NOT be. I can't possibly blame them anyway, since you painted yourself an online picture of a good-looking young lady in her sexual prime, with earning power and her own ride. Methinks you should get your head out of this virtual drama playing out here. After all this IS a drama, innit? You and iamsorry as the leads, and the rest of us are the extras, the shit-stirrers and rabble-rousers.
Cheating is cheating, no two ways about it. It's not more forgiveable if it was a 'sudden passion' thing as a fellow forumer suggested. What if i have sudden passionate feelings when i'm drinking and dancing with girls at clubs every weekend? The way you all tear the guy to bits, it's as if you guys are the prosecution pressing for pre-mediated murder!
If you ask me, this is already a foregone conclusion. She will go back to him. How he treats her in the future is a different story. So yeah, all you web jockeys sitting behind your monitor, dispensing 'good guy' advice in the hopes of touching this young lady's heart and getting her number, wake the F up and go back to playing DOTA.
I'm not enjoying the attention. I have no hidden agenda. All I wanted was to hear the advice of clear headed people when I don't trust myself to make decisions. I pity you because your world must be sad when you think the worst of every person.
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'Laura and Tommy were lovers,he wanted to give her everything.......' WTF is this? I think you both should go get a room somewhere and make up or go get a room somewhere and break up.
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Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
Chances are, all your future boyfriends and your future husband/s too will cheat on you ... (because of your character, you will end up with this type, I think).
Hi Andrew, this has bothered me since I saw your post.
What is the kind of character that will attract unfaithful guys? I really wish to know and if you would be kind enough to elaborate I'm sure it'll benefit me in some way. Thank you.
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
I'm not enjoying the attention. I have no hidden agenda. All I wanted was to hear the advice of clear headed people when I don't trust myself to make decisions. I pity you because your world must be sad when you think the worst of every person.
It is always good to hear advice from others especially not involved in your current situation. You must think carefully and most importantly, trust yourself to make decisions. Don't let others decided how your life should be. -
What is the kind of character that will attract unfaithful guys? I really wish to know and if you would be kind enough to elaborate I'm sure it'll benefit me in some way. Thank you.
I'd admire your courage to find the answers in online forums, cos it's hard to get objective answers or sometimes even getting confused, but then again, we thank you for sharing.
While waiting for AndrewPKYAP to answer your thoughts, let me share with you some of my views.
I feel it is not the character that attracts unfaithful guys, rather the environment and the character of the guys that stirs the unfaithfulness.
Example (A)
If the R/S/work/family env gives him stress, he meets another girl, diff from what he encounters, he finds comfort, or some "getaway" just by being with the girl, then unfaithfulness may creep in.
Example (B)
The guy is indecisive type, dunno what type of girl he wants, so he "experiments".
Example (C)
The guys likes thrill, like being "in love", cos his current R/S has stabled, so unfaithfulness may creep in.
Example (D)
The guy is too nice to every girl, can't differentiate "love" and "being friendly", may end up unfaithful if a girl throws her arms to him.
Example (E)
The guy ended up with his current girl due to responsibilty, not love, cos if he breaks with the girl, he will be obstracised by ppl, or overcome by guilt. Then when he found an outside girl which he can "click with", unfaithfulness will creep in.
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
Hi Andrew, this has bothered me since I saw your post.
What is the kind of character that will attract unfaithful guys? I really wish to know and if you would be kind enough to elaborate I'm sure it'll benefit me in some way. Thank you.
It is not necessary to be a lady's character that attract unfaithful counterparts, more should be observed at another angle, what actually leads to the unfaithful act of man.Hope that helps.
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Originally posted by Kutter:
It is always good to hear advice from others especially not involved in your current situation. You must think carefully and most importantly, trust yourself to make decisions. Don't let others decided how your life should be.That's true but I can't trust myself to make decisions; at least not at the moment.
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
That's true but I can't trust myself to make decisions; at least not at the moment.
Take a rest at the moment, relax yourself, hang out with your group of friends more often. It will somehow help you to stop thinking and enjoy yourself. Hope you feel much better today. -
Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
I didn't fuss about who had sacrificed more or who loved who more last time. But now that this has happened I think it's time for me to show some self-love.
But it's also not correct to suffer everything in silence. Would you tell a woman who was beat up by her husband to not be calculative because she has to accept that his only bad point is violence? Emotional hurt is not any less than physical hurt!
The day you stop loving others is the day you stop loving yourself. Move on if you do not love him.Family violence can be due to many issues that lead to the drastic incident, no man would want to hurt their spouse for no reason. If you feel that you have married the wrong person from the start? Why marry? For fun?
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Originally posted by Kutter:
Take a rest at the moment, relax yourself, hang out with your group of friends more often. It will somehow help you to stop thinking and enjoy yourself. Hope you feel much better today.
Yup I am feeling much better. Thank you. -
this post got tons of all fairy tale ppl ............
guess u all never see the social life of the world ........
i see tons of man cheats on theirs wife
i see tons of man bring other woman back for sex
i see tons of woman seduce other man beside thier husband
this world is full of shit things (- -)
but life still goes on.
since TS have decided wat to do let just get on with her new chapter in life.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
this post got tons of all fairy tale ppl ............
guess u all never see the social life of the world ........
i see tons of man cheats on theirs wife
i see tons of man bring other woman back for sex
i see tons of woman seduce other man beside thier husband
this world is full of shit things (- -)
but life still goes on.
since TS have decided wat to do let just get on with her new chapter in life.
Do you know what are you talking about? You've seen so much that dosen't mean the rest who post comments dosen't know about it.The world is also full of wonderful things, just that you have not seen enough of earth.
My boss cheats on his wife so are his three sons to their wives. So whats about it? Main issue here is you, what about you?
Its your pessimistic view of the world. Thats inmatured thinking I feel. It may be wrong of me to say that. Think about it.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
this post got tons of all fairy tale ppl ............
guess u all never see the social life of the world ........
i see tons of man cheats on theirs wife
i see tons of man bring other woman back for sex
i see tons of woman seduce other man beside thier husband
this world is full of shit things (- -)
but life still goes on.
since TS have decided wat to do let just get on with her new chapter in life.
so are u one of them who cheats on your wife or gf?