depressed and demoralised
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yo nikar.. yup i watch that show oso... quite nice.. i oso got watch the 8pm show but some parts i couldnt laugh it out.. sneeze and cough i oso unable to do it myself.. i got watch some drama and anime oso.. :)
i juz had an appointment today with the doc.. basically my condition is still roughly the same.. nt much changes and body still weak.. i cant sit up abit yet.. 24/7 lyin down.. so goin to hosp, my parent had to carry me and put me lyin down in the car, lucky i am onli got upper body, so less heavy w/o my legs
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Originally posted by 86jl:
yo nikar.. yup i watch that show oso... quite nice.. i oso got watch the 8pm show but some parts i couldnt laugh it out.. sneeze and cough i oso unable to do it myself.. i got watch some drama and anime oso.. :)
i juz had an appointment today with the doc.. basically my condition is still roughly the same.. nt much changes and body still weak.. i cant sit up abit yet.. 24/7 lyin down.. so goin to hosp, my parent had to carry me and put me lyin down in the car, lucky i am onli got upper body, so less heavy w/o my legs
ha ha, glad to hear that. All we can hope now is for you to recover gradually and gain some use of the spine to at least sit up. your ultimate goal should be to be able to sit in a wheelchair.
maybe not now, but 10 yrs, 20 yrs later, who knows? maybe there'll be breakthrough in science in 5 years due to stem cell research etc.
also, from what u say, i assume you amputated both your legs? is it due to accident hitting the legs too badly and they broke etc.?
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yup i wish i can sit up again and on a wheelchair even if for a short while.. hope there is oso a breakthru in medical field for ppl like me
yup both my legs were amputated frm the butt down.. the accident crush my legs badly at both the thigh area so doc had to amputate both my legs to save my life.. cry
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cheer up bro!
one thing at a time! now you need to get used to it first, then after get used to this state liao, then focus on feeling happy and getting better, and the ultimate goal is the wheelchair and ability to move the wheelchair around!
besides, you're not alone! i think there's some support forums for people with C-2 and C-1 paralysis, and they're from all over the world going thru the same thing as you, and some have it worst.
there's this teen in the US with C-1 who had to stay in some public home cos' he had no parents and had an abusive guardian, which is sad for him.
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i tryin to slowly take it one step at a time at the moment.. i was able to sit on the wheelchair for awhile for a period of time before my spine give prob again.. nw can onli lie down 24/7. the vent that i have is almost actually like the same as the gal in tt link, just that i have one more tube stickin out frm my nose.
yep i readin and join some forum too.. altho doc got fix 2 fake legs for me, i seldom wear them esp at home.. onli wore them when i need to go out to hosp..
heard from my sis, u all plannin to visit me ar?
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Originally posted by 86jl:
i tryin to slowly take it one step at a time at the moment.. i was able to sit on the wheelchair for awhile for a period of time before my spine give prob again.. nw can onli lie down 24/7. the vent that i have is almost actually like the same as the gal in tt link, just that i have one more tube stickin out frm my nose.
yep i readin and join some forum too.. altho doc got fix 2 fake legs for me, i seldom wear them esp at home.. onli wore them when i need to go out to hosp..
heard from my sis, u all plannin to visit me ar?
good to hear that you can at least sit in wheelchair.
although spine gave problem after a short while, at least it's do-able with time. that's what i'm sure of.
btw, u keep pets? pets (especially dogs) have been known and proven to lift the spirits of people and have made them way happier. not just extending human lifespans, but also relieve them of their stress and unhappiness and let them feel even more complete than ever. How about a small puppy? Or dwarf hamsters? cute and easy to maintain.
for the visit, we will have to organize first and let you know if we're coming.
btw, roughly where do u stay? (no need give full address, something like "tampines" or "yishun") will do.
to all those who want to visit Jeremy, pls list your name here or reply to this thread so we can work out something.
jeremy, in the meantime, take care!
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my wheelchair still around in 1 corner in my house... is a specially designed wheelchair for me.. my doc is lookin at tryin to get me sit up again within 3 mths but it depends on whether my body can take it.. in future, he may get me hook up to a machine tt will enable me to "stand" up but will see again esp my spine and body condition.. i lookin forward to that day..
doc say is gd to have pets but beta not to have any fur kind etc because the fur may irritate my lungs etc which may cause a big prob cos i cant sneeze or watsoever on my own which may cause breathin problem..
i stay in tampines area..
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Hmmm...ya....I read that blog....quite interesting....and that girl seems optimistic and can cope rather well....
It's quite touching to read her blog.....to see that humanity can have such a capability....and that someone like her....can......still find some....positivity and courage..
I see also that she seem to read a lot of positive books and articles.....
I hope also that you, Jeremy, will be strong, and dont lose to a girl, yeah..?
:)
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hi veggie bao.. thx for the encouragement.. i also hope i can be like her sia.. so envious that at least she can move abit unlike me
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Originally posted by 86jl:
my wheelchair still around in 1 corner in my house... is a specially designed wheelchair for me.. my doc is lookin at tryin to get me sit up again within 3 mths but it depends on whether my body can take it.. in future, he may get me hook up to a machine tt will enable me to "stand" up but will see again esp my spine and body condition.. i lookin forward to that day..
doc say is gd to have pets but beta not to have any fur kind etc because the fur may irritate my lungs etc which may cause a big prob cos i cant sneeze or watsoever on my own which may cause breathin problem..
i stay in tampines area..
whoa, i'm so happy to hear that!
at least it shows you've hope.it's a good thing that doctor can make such suggestions, otherwise it will just prove that he's a fresh grad who just came out from NUS.
within 3 months, if you can sit up, that's a very big achievement.
even if 3 months cannot, wait for 6 months, or even 1 year (btw, 6 months in medical world is a very short time). then when your body get used to sitting up, you can move around in wheelchair or can get people to push you around to sight-see, which is awesome.
that machine which "enables" you to stand is the ultimate achievement but it's good that at least your doctor mentions that, so you got hope.
but for now, let's not look so far and just be strong and focus on regaining mental strength and willpower so that you'll get good stuff coming in 3 months time.
as they say, the courage to live is more powerful than anything in the world.
tampines no problem lah.....my cousins and grandma all living there....which part of tampines? near interchange? or around the East View primary school area? or is it near the SOKA centre / community center there (St Hilda sec school).
IMO, tampines is a very serene and peaceful area in SG to live in, unlike other parts like Jurong. if i could, i would buy flat in Tampines.
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yup... i noe that i wun be able to move by myself anymore but it will be gd if i can sit up again one day.. dun nid to sit up fully oso.. the doc wan to get me sit or stand up is because i nid to move my body at times so as to let the blood flow properly n let the muscle work and not get stiff.. it wun be good if my muscle get stiff and blood flow stop, the blood flow in my hands are veri bad now which dun looks gd
yup tampines is a nice area i agree.. i stay near the polyclinic.. u can come anytime, i would love to have some visitors so i can feel there is ppl ard to make some noise and tings like that.. but i wun be able to tok properly and entertain you all, hope you wun mind.. you all can oso bring food over but it must be blended into liquid tho, but i wun be able to comment on how gd is the food
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btw the standin part does not mean i stand by myself, but is that i am hook up to a machine and the machine will move and let me "stand"
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Originally posted by 86jl:
yup... i noe that i wun be able to move by myself anymore but it will be gd if i can sit up again one day.. dun nid to sit up fully oso.. the doc wan to get me sit or stand up is because i nid to move my body at times so as to let the blood flow properly n let the muscle work and not get stiff.. it wun be good if my muscle get stiff and blood flow stop, the blood flow in my hands are veri bad now which dun looks gd
yup tampines is a nice area i agree.. i stay near the polyclinic.. u can come anytime, i would love to have some visitors so i can feel there is ppl ard to make some noise and tings like that.. but i wun be able to tok properly and entertain you all, hope you wun mind.. you all can oso bring food over but it must be blended into liquid tho, but i wun be able to comment on how gd is the food
i assume then, that your family members occasionally move your arms and massage it for you etc., to prevent blood clotting? (sometimes when body stays still for a very long time, the blood can "clot" and harden).
anyway, no need to worry......who needs you to entertain us?
if we need to be entertained, then we might as well stay at home and play games or watch porn.
it should be us who entertain you, although i must say people like me can't do magic tricks or sing or juggling acts.
anyway, visit won't be so soon lah....now i'm gathering some people and discuss first.
tampines polyclinic i have never seen it before, as i only go there 1 - 2 times per year. i always feel the pace of life there is a lot slower than other parts of Singapore (in jurong, the pace is quite frentic).btw, now 7-moth festival, your family got pray to the "good brothers"?
i assume you're taoist?
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hi yup... my parents and sis have to consistently help me move my body and hands and massage them in order to let the muscle work and prevent blood clotting.. every 3 hrs, someone will also need to help me change my lying position even in the midnight.. my parents tinkin of employing nurses to help look after me
haha ok look forward to the visit... u noe tampines library? is actually veri near the interchange tho..
ya my parents got pray.. i am free thinker tho.. but nw i dun care le.. cos i cant do anyting
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i am troublesome right... need ppl to keep movin me abt... even midnight my family members have to take turn wake up juz to move and change my lying position.. i dun slp alone nw le... cos i cant be left alone at any 1 time
employ nurse sound gd but wun be cheap leh.. hai..
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Originally posted by 86jl:
i am troublesome right... need ppl to keep movin me abt... even midnight my family members have to take turn wake up juz to move and change my lying position.. i dun slp alone nw le... cos i cant be left alone at any 1 time
employ nurse sound gd but wun be cheap leh.. hai..
Don't think so much. Need to keep your mind and spirit positive since some research in psychology has shown that a strong and positive mind can help the body heal. There was a story in my psy text that talked about how a person managed to use his willpower and recover from paralysis and moved on his own with abit of help when his doctors thought it was impossible.
Some interesting articles and books i came across
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/08/050805101335.htm
http://www.thescizone.com/news/9010/avon-lake-grad-fights-through-spinal-cord-injury
http://www.travisroyfoundation.org/pages/resources-books-bios.htm -
oh my in depressed.. -
Originally posted by 86jl:
i am troublesome right... need ppl to keep movin me abt... even midnight my family members have to take turn wake up juz to move and change my lying position.. i dun slp alone nw le... cos i cant be left alone at any 1 time
employ nurse sound gd but wun be cheap leh.. hai..
don't think so much leh, bro! this is what family members are supposed to do for each other, to stick through thick and thin.
like i always say, this is very likely not going to be permanent (i.e: you won't forever need people to help you turn in bed). once your body and gradually gets stronger a bit like the doc says, everything will be way easier, or even slightly easier, than it is now.
anyway, employ nurse is a good idea, maybe your family can look for cheaper alternatives? what about maids?
i personally believe in the power of the mind, though. Scientists are now doing research on the brain, but one article I read in the past was this:
If a child has cancer, and instead of feeling sad and cry, he daydreams every now and then about battleships "entering" his brain and shooting lasers to kill the cancer cells.
Another same child with cancer as well, on the other hand, just refuse to do anything and cry and sob the whole day.
the child in the 1st example would have a far higher chance of getting well and that's how miracles, and things, once thought to be impossible, happen!
since you can't walk or sit-up now, the least you can do is to be happy and stay positive. Lie in bed, but enjoy the peace and watch TV shows. Day dreams and fantasize. Think about what you're gonna do in the future. No, you're not going to lie in the bed forever. You want to sit up at least in a wheelchair and get people, or even yourself, to wheel yourself around. Once you can sit-up in a wheelchair, the possibilities starts to unlock.
although you're lying in bed now, think about those 2 Republic poly students who got killed in the train accident some weeks back. Both the corpses have broken bones and broken limbs. And the guy's skull was CRUSHED and his brain juice all splattered out.
Now, THAT'S SAD. They don't even have any more chance to live. You might think, "Oh, they're dead, that's better, unlike me, want to die cannot die, want to live cannot live".
well, at least you've another chance at life. You're not gone forever, unlike them.
so be positive and think on the bright side. Think of freaking beautiful rainbows, of the gentle Northern Lights, on the sun rays that shine in your bedroom everyday, of the moonlight that shines on certain nights. Do not think of hell, or think of despair, or think of lying in bed forever. That's bad for you and for everyone who are concerned about you.
i've been thinking ever since I read this thread, that I would feel pretty lost and helpless if I were in your shoes. However, after the initial shock, I would start to feel very angry that my fate is like this and no way in hell am I gonna accept it. If there's really nothing i can do, the least i can do for myself is to stay positive and bright. That's an achievement in it's own right.
and plus......you've people who still care for you.
btw, you got watch Buzzing Cashier 2 today? That 8 PM show on channel 8 with Quan Yifeng and Kym Ng as the hosts, and their goal is to help hawker stalls and coffee shop stalls who have no business.
Today, the stall vendor is an auntie and her son is a 25-yrs old gangster with tattoos all over his body, and when it's time for him to report and learn the cooking skills to cook prawn mee, he don't even bother to get up and the hosts and TV crew have to visit his house and found him still sleeping in bed.
his sister is quite cute and chio, though. U got watch?
Quite interesting show that helps hawker vendors.
take care!
*To everyone here : pls don't say things like "i feel sad for you, TS" or "sorry to hear this". We should all help TS by being positive and not keep dwelling on the accident or the sad things. That's the very least we can do for him. Too bad we're not doctors.
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hey nikar... thx for the words of encouragement all along... great to have a person to tok to beside my family members and friends..
i noe i wun be able to move again for sure and is a must to have a person to always move me about.. it is something permanent but in future i may be able to sit up on the wheelchair but it wun be by myself oso la... is like the gal in that blog.. but i will be juz there lor but cant move nia... i still learnin to be more positive minded.. doc say i juz move frm the shocked to angry state of mind so will take a while
i din watch the show today because abit not feeling well.. so had a rest..
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ok.. my parents decided to employ a day time nurse to take care of me and my needs... then frm evenin onwards, they will take over the nurse..
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Originally posted by 86jl:
hey nikar... thx for the words of encouragement all along... great to have a person to tok to beside my family members and friends..
i noe i wun be able to move again for sure and is a must to have a person to always move me about.. it is something permanent but in future i may be able to sit up on the wheelchair but it wun be by myself oso la... is like the gal in that blog.. but i will be juz there lor but cant move nia... i still learnin to be more positive minded.. doc say i juz move frm the shocked to angry state of mind so will take a while
i din watch the show today because abit not feeling well.. so had a rest..
ha ha, no problem! it's a pity i'm quite busy and lack of time nowadays due to need to learn art etc., otherwise i will reply to your posts many times per day.
yeah, on a realistic point of view, you *very likely* won't be able to move again by yourself, but as i said before, as long as can sit in wheelchair, then that's great liao.
that said, don't dismiss the very possibility of a wheelchair that can be controlled by brainwaves and thus no need to use hands. i think there's some devices which already have this function liao. just a matter of time for your case.
as for your state of mind, only you yourself and Time can heal it slowly. Others like your family or your friends or me can only help you speed it up but won't be able to fully help your clear your mind.
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Originally posted by 86jl:
ok.. my parents decided to employ a day time nurse to take care of me and my needs... then frm evenin onwards, they will take over the nurse..
wow, that's good news! heck, you could even talk to the nurse!!!!!
now u got long-term companion to keep you company liao!
get them to hire a chio nurse (North Korea President Kim Jong IL has a bevy of personal nurses and all of them are specially selected based on looks and are as pretty as models / supermodels). better still, select the nurse or the maid from catalogue to see which one you "kan de guo yan".
u can talk to the nurse and the nurse can talk to you, share experiences, life stories, discuss TV programs together etc? now you won't be so bored!
i'm very happy to hear that you're in good hands, though. Good family, friends etc!
Cheer up!
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oh no wonder see u reply like quite late.. u all got work to do unlike me..
yup i juz hope i can sit up at least veri soon altho i will have to get used to it and nw my blood pressure veri low and my hands' blood flow still a prob.. yup i also undergoin counselling to help me get over and accept my new life..
employing nurse is my parents decision and actually i dun really mind whether chio ma.. as long as she is good and can take care of me and let my parents go work and rest in the mornin to afternn, tt's gd enuf.. my gf also got come at times to accompany and take care of me..
i still undergoin speech therapy oso to treat my slur in speaking which is still veri bad...
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Originally posted by 86jl:
oh no wonder see u reply like quite late.. u all got work to do unlike me..
yup i juz hope i can sit up at least veri soon altho i will have to get used to it and nw my blood pressure veri low and my hands' blood flow still a prob.. yup i also undergoin counselling to help me get over and accept my new life..
employing nurse is my parents decision and actually i dun really mind whether chio ma.. as long as she is good and can take care of me and let my parents go work and rest in the mornin to afternn, tt's gd enuf.. my gf also got come at times to accompany and take care of me..
i still undergoin speech therapy oso to treat my slur in speaking which is still veri bad...
ha ha, work to do?! very stress sometimes lah......see the computer screen until the head become dizzy and have the sinking feeling if stare too long (like vertigo like that).
don't think too much lah.....seems that you've many activities to keep you busy too, like counselling and speech therapy.
in many ways, you're already a winner. I mean, come on.
You may have only 2 limbs, but you've got a wonderful family, friends and a great girlfriend (gfs like this where to find nowadays??!!).
Some of us here like me, got 4 limbs, but never had a gf and no friends even, and don't seem to be having a gf anywhere in the future soon. i dunno about others, but i would gladly say you're way above me in many areas, and i'm not kidding.
actually, nurse chio or not is not really important lah, like you say.......but if can be chio, then better lah. imagine the nurse is like 1.78m tall, look like Chiling Lin or Zhang Ziyi like that.....
.....seriously, you should fantasize and day-dream about crazy things like thus. It really lifts your spirits. Bits of fantasizing and escapism is very healthy in reality, and it's been proven by psychologists. btw, how's the speech therapy like? i assume the therapist talks to you and get you to speak, then she corrects your tone / words to make them accurate?
have a nice day!
nikar
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dun stress dun stress... if no time to reply me, nvm ba
thx.. still learnin to accept that i onli left with 2 limbs and fully paralysed.. doc say my hands are a prob nw.. every wk, i will get to go out 3 times for speech therapy, counselling and doc appt.. but i rather not go out cos i cant stand the looks and stares frm other ppl..
my nurse confirmed le.. comin on next mon to start work.. hope is great
the speech therapist will get me to talk with her and she will try to correct my tone and pronunciation and i will keep sayin the word until i get it correct.. but cos of my ventilator to my neck, i always haf prob in speakin prob and some words veri hard to say.. gettin my sis to type for me takes alot of time too cos she must try to get wat i am sayin b4 she can type out the words