From friend to bf/gf
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Originally posted by henshin:
I had to make a gamble huh? How should I increase the chance?
Some of us have given you the answer.
Do not ask directly first. Get someone who you can trust and is a friend of both of you ( preferably a girl ) to ask her if she has any interest in you.
If yes, you can get ready a flower or some present for her, then ask her to be your gf and go out with you.
If no, at least you will still have your friendship with her.
The reason why this friend must be trustable is because she MUST NOT leak out that you are the one who want to know whether the girl is interested in you, and she must be thick-skinned enough to lie while keeping a blank face.
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i married my best friend. :) it is possible
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Me and my boyfriend start from classmate.. then good friend.. and now dating.. that is over a period of 5yrs to reach BGR..
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i've known my ex since primary sch, and we were best frens before that, so its definitely possible.
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everything and anything can happen.
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although i've no gfs or frens, i've read plenty of good dating books which says that the chances of getting rejected is very high if you just ask the gal outright (e.g "u love me?", "do u want to be my gf"?
reason being:
1) if u ask this kind of question, how is the gal supposed to answer you? gal's mentality not same as guys; for this kind of question, you can't expect them to say "Yes!!!!" like a man.
2) by asking the gal for "permission" to be her bf, you're degrading yourself in her eyes and lower your own self-worth.
3) lastly, don't go down the wrong route, where u like the gal but end up as her "girl-friend", if u know what i mean. Meaning, she tells u all her problems but has no romantic interest / sexual arousal with you. That means, the longer you know her and it drags on, the more it is to your disadvantage.
of course got people marry their best friend, but for a lot of others i see everywhere, when the guy ask his female friend if she interested in relationship, mostly fail.
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I got this thinking, I won't confessed for now, I will try to make her like me. Think can start by doing some small action, isn't it? Any advice from you guys? Thanks a lot
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Originally posted by henshin:
I got this thinking, I won't confessed for now, I will try to make her like me. Think can start by doing some small action, isn't it? Any advice from you guys? Thanks a lot
how to get her start liking you? firstly, don't be a wimp and do everything for her, or be available at her every beck and call. this is the way of the Wimp. U wanna be one?instead, start teasing her and flirting with her.
she'll get attracted to you in a romantic-type of love, not those friend-friend type.
start flirting and teasing her for 3 weeks and come back here and tell daddy how it works.
of course, i'm assuming u know how to tease and flirt with chicks.
and buying presents for her is a no-no, because 1) you're telling her on a sub-conscious level that you're buying her with $$$, which is bad and 2) you're telling her mentally that she's on a higher-level than you and that's why u need to pay "tribute" to her.
be a farking man, and by August 09, i want to see vids of you trashing her in bed.
u can do it.
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Originally posted by Nikar 3:
how to get her start liking you? firstly, don't be a wimp and do everything for her, or be available at her every beck and call. this is the way of the Wimp. U wanna be one?instead, start teasing her and flirting with her.
she'll get attracted to you in a romantic-type of love, not those friend-friend type.
start flirting and teasing her for 3 weeks and come back here and tell daddy how it works.
of course, i'm assuming u know how to tease and flirt with chicks.
and buying presents for her is a no-no, because 1) you're telling her on a sub-conscious level that you're buying her with $$$, which is bad and 2) you're telling her mentally that she's on a higher-level than you and that's why u need to pay "tribute" to her.
be a farking man, and by August 09, i want to see vids of you trashing her in bed.
u can do it.
Please do not give advices like this unless you want him to get into more trouble than he can handle.
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I was thinking of showing care to her, I plan to do something special, such as cook something for her and then bring it to her workplace at times. What do you all think?
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Originally posted by henshin:
I was thinking of showing care to her, I plan to do something special, such as cook something for her and then bring it to her workplace at times. What do you all think?
It is worth a try, but you will have to come up with a good reason ( or excuse ) for cooking something special and bringing it to her workplace.
The average guy will not cook something and bring it to someone else workplace, and thus she would be able to put 2 and 2 together if you don't come up with some good reason which you can make her believe.
The aim now is not a direct confrontation, so plan ahead before you carry out your plan.
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Well, you dun just go up to someone and ask him/her to be you gf/bf... it all start by being a friend.
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Originally posted by Nikar 3:
2) by asking the gal for "permission" to be her bf, you're degrading yourself in her eyes and lower your own self-worth.
alot of my friends do this!
and they are couples.
dont see problem with that, cos by asking your like 'officially stating' your a couple.
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TS got the same situation as me right now....hahaha...but i'm more cool about it...i now study for a degree, get it and get a better job..
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i think it is very difficult
after such a long time as good friends, the guys will be slotted into the 'just-friends' category, and it is very difficult see these guys in a romantic way
there are couples out there who went down this route, but the friend to bf thing is more an exception rather than the norm
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Originally posted by candiz:
i think it is very difficult
after such a long time as good friends, the guys will be slotted into the 'just-friends' category, and it is very difficult see these guys in a romantic way
there are couples out there who went down this route, but the friend to bf thing is more an exception rather than the norm
maybe a few months or years of not contacting each other will change the situation..... -
Of course must get to know the girl first lah..but don't wait too long..
U wait too long - the girl get hooked up to someone else. Or she puts you in the 'fren' category already - her reasoning is, if you really like her, you would have made yr move, right? Y must wait long long?
Of course there r exceptions - as can b seen from the posts above. But in general, most ladies I know say you shouldn't drag things!!
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my ex is a friend and classmate...
so the chances are actually there..
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Me and her got closed about couple of months ago, but both of us are busy with some other stuff, thus I was thinking of showing care for her until the end of every busy stuff we had now and then I confess. Is that a good way?
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Originally posted by henshin:
Me and her got closed about couple of months ago, but both of us are busy with some other stuff, thus I was thinking of showing care for her until the end of every busy stuff we had now and then I confess. Is that a good way?
It is up to you, but you must weigh the pros and cons.
It is good that you want to wait until the two of you have more time before you start dating her out and stuffs, but on the otherhand, if you wait too long, you never know who might just take her away from you.
I am sure she has her own personal life, and not to mention that she also has her own co-workers, so are you prepared to take the risk?
As the saying goes, chen re da tie ( striking the metal while it is still hot ), if you wait too long, you might just end up regretting it.
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Simple, from GF to friend, very easy. Just spend a lots of money on them, and wait till they go "Dear, we need to talk...". From friend to GF, not very easy. Be there for them always, and be a listening ear and wait till they go "You're very sweet...*kiss*"
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The problem is I don't know how to make her like me. I know that I like her, but I cannot be sure is she liking me as a friend or as a guy that can be accepted as a bf. Thus I need help.
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Originally posted by henshin:
The problem is I don't know how to make her like me. I know that I like her, but I cannot be sure is she liking me as a friend or as a guy that can be accepted as a bf. Thus I need help.
That is why we ask you to get someone to ask her... otherwise how would you know what are her feelings for you?
On the otherhand, have you set any of your plans in motion already, or are you still waiting?
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Her close friends are my close friend too, so I afraid that this close friend might reveal it to her, making the situation very akward . I do make some plan and execute them already, but it's just the beginning, doesn't seems to be working for now, I think....
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Originally posted by henshin:
Her close friends are my close friend too, so I afraid that this close friend might reveal it to her, making the situation very akward . I do make some plan and execute them already, but it's just the beginning, doesn't seems to be working for now, I think....
we are advising u to choose a close fren u "TRUST" not only close fren u get it???