Sense of Security
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Originally posted by p228:
No lar..
Cannot say like that also.. I don't blame my girlfriend.. With my pathetic pay, I agree that i haven't been giving her a good time..
I believe most woman (if not all), would wanna look the best on her wedding day.. Giving a big piece of rock is not only for the "FACE", but also gives them a certain sense of security that their to-be-husband will give them a good life (not as in LV or PRADA all the way, but at least dont need to worry about the daily necessities).
It looks good on both the groom and bride..
=)
I would want my woman to be the happiest and luckiest only one on earth. (That's my commitment)
shdnt security come in a more sustainable form such as a nest and food on the table? Or as fatty bank account?
but wat would a rock costing $3k++ - 20k++ do? most guys that can afford it without so much as flinch of an eye can easy change their partner for a younger sweeter thing that come by him....
if she wanna b a RTT, then why even bother to start thing with u in the 1st place......
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think for the future, not the wedding itself. Even u got the money to buy her a big fat rock for the wedding, how about the life after the wedding? You gonna be more stressed after the wedding. You ain't earning much and if after wedding she will still complain about the lack of money and it's gonna be back to the same situation.
Think properly. Most and MOST women's security refers to the cashy cashy that u have.. got money = got honey and vice versa
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Originally posted by p228:
The thing is..
She make clear to me that she wants a big diamond ring for the ROM..
How to not stressed?
Just ask her point blank what she wants. If she wanna get married, then yes, you can marry her now.
If all that she wants is just a big rock then just ask her to wait lor until you save enough money. Must be realistic, right?? Wait long long until you got the money to buy it. a big diamond ring will cost 20k+++ .
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Originally posted by Ms.shells:
Just ask her point blank what she wants. If she wanna get married, then yes, you can marry her now.
If all that she wants is just a big rock then just ask her to wait lor until you save enough money. Must be realistic, right?? Wait long long until you got the money to buy it. a big diamond ring will cost 20k+++ .
by then she tell u that her factory had close down liao..... :( -
Originally posted by EarlNeo:
by then she tell u that her factory had close down liao..... :(That's why i think she must be realistic. She doesn't want to wait but she wants her bf to marry her and give her a big diamond ring. Does she expect her bf to rob the bank? LOL
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Originally posted by Ms.shells:
That's why i think she must be realistic. She doesn't want to wait but she wants her bf to marry her and give her a big diamond ring. Does she expect her bf to rob the bank? LOL
see the prob ish with the ger.....
not the guy....
then again... how many of the ger are realistic instead of materialistic?
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Originally posted by Ms.shells:
That's why i think she must be realistic. She doesn't want to wait but she wants her bf to marry her and give her a big diamond ring. Does she expect her bf to rob the bank? LOL
Yeah.. But, wedding and marriage kind of matters, is quite sensitive you see..
Many marriages break down and divorces occur due to the MAIN MAIN PROBLEM: MONEY.
Even I am unable to give her the rock and I end up marrying her, the money issue will cause both of us unhappiness later on.
Who do not wish to live on "White Bread Love", if you understand what I mean..
At my stage, a relationship is not as simple as it used to be : I love you, you love me can liao.
Now start to talk about money.. future plans, babies.. etc..
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change your job to security guard roh :(
then she will have all the secure from you :( -
Originally posted by p228:
Yeah.. But, wedding and marriage kind of matters, is quite sensitive you see..
Many marriages break down and divorces occur due to the MAIN MAIN PROBLEM: MONEY.
Even I am unable to give her the rock and I end up marrying her, the money issue will cause both of us unhappiness later on.
Who do not wish to live on "White Bread Love", if you understand what I mean..
At my stage, a relationship is not as simple as it used to be : I love you, you love me can liao.
Now start to talk about money.. future plans, babies.. etc..
That is why you planned to get a specialist Diploma so as to switch to a better paying job. The main problem now is that it will not be easy for you to job-hop in the current recession, as there will also be many graduates competing with you after you completed your course.
I am not being mean here, but your gf should be more realistic about career opportunities now instead of bugging you to be not "lazy and unmotivated". Even if you study hard and try your absolute best, there is not even a single bit of guarantee that you will be rewarded with a better paying job after you receive your specialist diploma.
Well, since you have already made up your mind, then just do the best that you can, and see which direction fate points you in.
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You can sure - forgo who you are, pander to her needs, be a slave lar, security that is sought is another is akin to prostituting oneself !
However, security that emanates from WITHIN ONESELF is abundance and hence the ability to flow and share what is.
If you trust in your love ( not sth else pretending to be love) - that is enough to lead the way to .....
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fuck her first. find new target, throw her. fuck new target
Kill short ninja. kick short ninja is his balls
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
It is noble for you to want to give your woman a good life, as it should be with all men.
But you have to be realistic in the end. What is considered 'a good life' anyway? Is a shipyard worker considered giving his family a 'bad life' with his pathetic earnings and social standing, even after he had taken care of his wife and watch his kids go through Uni?
Is a BMW, a career in a GLC company, often away, a condo, no or only just 1 kid, considered a 'good life'?
And such 'lives' are good for who? You or your partner? Should not a good life be shared, in good times and in bad? Are we civilised beings or rapacious wild beasts, that we must be 'king' and be at the top of the food chain?
Questions, questions...unanswerable, save yourself to know and realize. Nobility is one thing, possessing love that is not true love, and living a responsible shared eternity are issues that you have to grapple with and confront the reality before you, as clear as the piece of crystal you are demanded with...
Have a pause and listen to this song.
i like what you said. i'm in a similar situation as TS. this had me thinking. -
To marry someone for love itself is the reason to marry lar, if it is to secure oneself in that marriage with a career or well-paying job or even propping it up with material 'stuffs' is setting up a 'house' with a weak foundation. What comes from the ,outside, can change or be lost!
However, one that brings 'goodies' in the form of love, respect, kindness, compassion can endure anything cos it has a strong foundation. Of course, it is on the premise both are self-fulfilled and abundant within.
The other thing marriages fail not just cos of money but cos one goes into it to get rather than share what one is or give what one can. Also it is the lack of friendliness and not love that spoils everything lar!
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You want her to feel secure? Tie her to the bed.
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Originally posted by p228:
Bro,
No use lar.. I tried to sign on before..
But never get shortlisted..
Anyway, I am going to enrol for specialist diploma in workplace safety and health..
That is going to be my only breakthrough..
signing on as a spec is a slow process in terms of pay..
if u are skilled in aerospace u might want to try wrking for ST aerospace instead.. the airforce outsource alot of skilled labour from them.
if u hav e money(parents support etc) and yr diploma is related to business better to get a part time degree.
however e way u say it dont think u studied biz.. going for specialist/advanced diploma is a gd upgrade as well. there are plenty of them in poly
all e best in yr future, marriage n career!
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Thanks all for the advice..
I am still thinking of what to do.. I feel so mentally and financially strained..
I am so tired of working part time.. Do not have ample rest everyday..
Sigh
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Originally posted by p228:
Thanks all for the advice..
I am still thinking of what to do.. I feel so mentally and financially strained..
I am so tired of working part time.. Do not have ample rest everyday..
Sigh
That is the problem with studying and working part-time at the same time.
This is a very testing period of time, but you should not give up. Look on the bright side, and have faith in yourself in finding a better job after you completed your course and received your specialist Diploma.
Just maintain your relationship with her as it is for now. Getting married while studying and working at the same time is a very bad idea. If you have any studies related problems, post them at the Homework Forum. I am sure the regulars and Mods there will try their best to help you out.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
That is the problem with studying and working part-time at the same time.
This is a very testing period of time, but you should not give up. Look on the bright side, and have faith in yourself in finding a better job after you completed your course and received your specialist Diploma.
Just maintain your relationship with her as it is for now. Getting married while studying and working at the same time is a very bad idea. If you have any studies related problems, post them at the Homework Forum. I am sure the regulars and Mods there will try their best to help you out.
Hey Bro,
I think you are mistaken.. I am working full part currently.. and also working part time from evening time till midnight..
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TS girlfriend not working? Everything you have to pay?
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No lar.. She also working..
But she got this mentality that:
Guys should pay for everything.
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Originally posted by p228:
Hey Bro,
I think you are mistaken.. I am working full part currently.. and also working part time from evening time till midnight..
That makes things even worse. Seriously, how are you going to find time to take up any courses to upgrade yourself?
If you were to give up one of your part-time job, you will end up with an even lower total pay, and I am sure your gf would not be very happy with that.
You better think carefully about it, you are in a situation with barbed fences on all 4 sides.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
That makes things even worse. Seriously, how are you going to find time to take up any courses to upgrade yourself?
If you were to give up one of your part-time job, you will end up with an even lower total pay, and I am sure your gf would not be very happy with that.
You better think carefully about it, you are in a situation with barbed fences on all 4 sides.
That's the thing.. I am in such a situation that i do not know what I can do..
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Soon or later, you will have a breakdown. Think about it seriously. You are already in a predictament where the arrows are firing non-stop and piercing through you.
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Originally posted by p228:
No lar.. She also working..
But she got this mentality that:
Guys should pay for everything.
Why are you willingly being a slave to this woman? She's going to be the death of you one day, at the rate things are going. Perhaps you'd better get out while you can. -
aiya she not young liao so scared later other sweet young things come out and snatch u away from her....
so faster book u lor... if she just wants some kind of shyt paper to tie u down to her, den get the paper lo... that is if u 2 are prepared already. the flat and other stuff can come in later =)