Indian Guy, PRC Girl
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i suggest Ts bring that girl to sentosa and start dancing
behind some big coconut tress , maybe she
will love that...
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Originally posted by Awesomeazing:
only thing is she doesn't seem willing to initiate stuff..
We're Asians... girls usually (though getting less and less these days) are shy to initiate stuff... and she's PRC, no less.
Me simply 'generally speaking'. For your specific case, it's up to you to study her.
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hmm... well ...
I guess I'm just not used to it ...
I'm thinking: i'll call her and set up a date .. and then at the end of the evening, I'll let her know that ill be waiting for her call to set up the next one ...
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Poetic mood lar - enjoy the trip, the highs. if u do not want to spoil things, simply relate , just relate and forget about tomorrow. It is uncertainty, it is insecure - but it is worth every second.
The heart of love wants eternity - the mind, sadly interprets wrongly and wants permanency.
Make it permanent - u kill love, the other is reduced to a thing. I do not want to go on elaborating cos in my previous posting here i had.
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Always changin, always evolving - that is what an alive relationship is. It is river-like: flowing, ever-fresh. It has climates, many moods. It is uncertain and always full of suprises. A dead relationship, like a pond remains stagnant and smells, is stale. It is repetitive, it is the same, but then it is no more a relationship. Then it is no longer two persons, but two things together. Of course, two things never quarrel. The quarrel arises when two alive persons enter.
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Originally posted by Awesomeazing:
hmm... well ...
I guess I'm just not used to it ...
I'm thinking: i'll call her and set up a date .. and then at the end of the evening, I'll let her know that ill be waiting for her call to set up the next one ...
Maybe you can send her a text after you send her home, to ask her how the date went on her part and also to say you had a great time. This is to lay the foundation for setting up the next date. From her response you can gauge how well she enjoyed herself and the level of your chances. It's also important for you to send that sms, it's only gentlemanly. Good luck.
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Originally posted by TheMissus:
Maybe you can send her a text after you send her home, to ask her how the date went on her part and also to say you had a great time. This is to lay the foundation for setting up the next date. From her response you can gauge how well she enjoyed herself and the level of your chances. It's also important for you to send that sms, it's only gentlemanly. Good luck.
Eh, why I last time send SMS get nothing back de ah? =X
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One who is looking for something will always be missing it.
Seeing is just clarity eyes open, mind open, heart open. Not looking for something in particular; just ready and receptive. Whatsoever happens, one remains alert, receptive, understanding. Conclusion is not there! Conclusion has yet to come: by one's own eyes one will see - and there will be a conclusion. The conclusion is in the future. When you are seeing, the conclusion is not already there. When one is looking, the conclusion is already there. And one goes on interpreting according to one's ideas.
　
A joke (parable):
A child is reading a pictorial book on wild life, and he is intrigued with the pixs of lions. He reads whatsoever is there, but one question is unanswered there, so he asks his mother.
'Mom, what type of love-life do lions have?'
'Son, I don't know much about Lions cos all your father's friends are Rotarians
If one has some idea in the mind, it is bound to corrupt what IS. Then one is not listening to what is being said -- then one is listening according to Oneself ( one's mind interpretation of ... ). Then one is playing an active role. When one is looking, mind is active. When one seeing, mind is passive. That is the difference. When one is looking, mind is trying to manipulate. When one is seeing, mind a placid lake -- mind is open to What IS, with no idea in particular to enforce on reality(WHAT IS). -
Originally posted by Awesomeazing:
So... we had a nice long romantic date - and basically just talked for 7+ hours... (extremely unusual experience)
only thing is she doesn't seem willing to initiate stuff.. if i hold her hand, she responds.. if i ask her to dance, shes ok... if i mention future plans together, she agrees... but nothing from her side..
should i *again* be the one to ask for another date? isn't that kinda needy and weird... on the other hand, isnt it childish to play such mind games? <confused>
Does responding to you and agreeing to you means nothing ?
What are you expecting from her ? Throw her body at you and declares to the world how much she worship you ? Get real brother !!
You are the man, you take the lead. If a woman follows, you be counting your blessings.
"should i *again* be the one to ask for another date? isn't that kinda needy and weird... on the other hand, isnt it childish to play such mind games?" <---- this is your EGO talking.
A woman wants to be pursued.
You want a big ego or you want a relationship ? Ya can't have it both ways.
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Where love is - there are two nothingness - two souls in unison.
When ego is - this 'tip-toeing' stance lar - the fear of the ego's death
In being somebody(ego) one misses, in being nothing one arrives!
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Originally posted by Stimulatedfib:
Eh, why I last time send SMS get nothing back de ah? =X
Means the gal dunch like you.. =P
The sms is quite important, even guys tell me that supposedly thats their 'trick'.
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Originally posted by TheMissus:
Means the gal dunch like you.. =P
The sms is quite important, even guys tell me that supposedly thats their 'trick'.
Sure or not...... or is it that time you too lazy to reply me back? =X
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Hey
TheMissus - thanks for the sms "trick" - actually this was my second date with her and I got it exactly by doing the sms thing ;)
Jojobeach - I understand what you're saying.. just struggling to draw the line between self-respect and ego... meh! im gonna ask her out again tomorrow ;)
fugazzi - I get your point about projecting my own ideas upon sitautions.. ill try not to over-analyze things i guess and just go with the flow.. but its hard! lol
Stimulatedfib - unfortunately , she probably doesnt like you - every chick who has ever had a thing for me has always replied to all my sms\missed calls etc.
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Originally posted by Awesomeazing:
Ok...
first post here :)
I'm a 26 y old guy from India. I'm well educated and very well traveled. I hold a decent job and am a Singapore PR.
I recently met this beautiful 24 y old girl from China and have been on a few very enjoyable dates with her. She's well educated, smart and funny.We get along quite well as beside good looks she also has the ability to hold a meaningful conversation - a combination which I've had difficulty finding thus far.
I just wanted to know more about what to expect if we keep traveling down this road...
1) Expected Dating ettiquette for PRC Chinese women? - is it cool to date multiple people at the same time? how "slow" or "fast" is one expected to move in terms of physical relations?[ok that sounds like a question a 13 year old might ask .. lol]
2)Image of Indian people in the minds of the Chinese: this differs vastly across countries, depending on the local populations exposure to (what is usually) a single strata of Indian society. What is the image of indian people for a chinese? how would her family likely take it?
I understand that these are personal questions that differ by the family and are perhaps best directed at the girl herself. In due time I will do just that. For now, some general guidance would be helpful.
Thanks :)
As a Singaporean, I can't really claim to know how PRC girls think and also China is so big, it would depend on where she comes from as well.
You need to get to know the person. That is what dating is for, to get to know her.
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Originally posted by Awesomeazing:
Ok...
first post here :)
I'm a 26 y old guy from India. I'm well educated and very well traveled. I hold a decent job and am a Singapore PR.
I recently met this beautiful 24 y old girl from China and have been on a few very enjoyable dates with her. She's well educated, smart and funny.We get along quite well as beside good looks she also has the ability to hold a meaningful conversation - a combination which I've had difficulty finding thus far.
I just wanted to know more about what to expect if we keep traveling down this road...
1) Expected Dating ettiquette for PRC Chinese women? - is it cool to date multiple people at the same time? how "slow" or "fast" is one expected to move in terms of physical relations?[ok that sounds like a question a 13 year old might ask .. lol]
2)Image of Indian people in the minds of the Chinese: this differs vastly across countries, depending on the local populations exposure to (what is usually) a single strata of Indian society. What is the image of indian people for a chinese? how would her family likely take it?
I understand that these are personal questions that differ by the family and are perhaps best directed at the girl herself. In due time I will do just that. For now, some general guidance would be helpful.
Thanks :)
1) Expected Dating ettiquette for PRC Chinese women? - is it cool to date multiple people at the same time? how "slow" or "fast" is one expected to move in terms of physical relations?[ok that sounds like a question a 13 year old might ask .. lol]
ettiquette or not, as long one is gentlemen enough would do just the trick. In anycase most PRC ettiquette are disturbingly associated with "how much money spent"
2)Image of Indian people in the minds of the Chinese: this differs vastly across countries, depending on the local populations exposure to (what is usually) a single strata of Indian society. What is the image of indian people for a chinese? how would her family likely take it?
Trust me, you do not want to know what chinese ppl think about indians. they dun even know that indians are good with Cricket!
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
Two wolves (being, INNER landscape) reside in each of us, the first is needs, fears, beliefs (eg, customs, traditons, religion), jealousy,comparing sympathy,possesivness, insecurity, fear of loss , anger, prejudice, always reacts ... the second is love, kindness, emphaty , gratitude,unlimiting beliefs always responds.
The one that is fed daily evolves - whom are u feeding, even as u are reading it now?
Both is love - but with a BIG difference:
the first is ego- based personality! - it eventually suffocates and kills the... (one remains accidental/ on the periphery) - the bird is always trying to take off but wings are always clipped - cos love has become bondage here - the giving here is to take back (lots of expectations) - what is one sharing is this : complaining, whining, .... Here it is fear-based love and the anxiety is there to quickly make it a relationship. One is insecure.
the second is soul-infused individuality! - it is everflowing abundance (essential/centre), it is a bird on a wing - one wing is love, and the other is freedom - love is freeing - the giving here is simply sharing what one is, appreciating what IS. Here it is love unto itself and one simply relates, one flows like the river and partakes of what the other is.One is abundantly rich within - hence one relates without fear and one has no reason(s) to love.
The predicament of many is that they search and desire answers on all four quarters ooutside of themselves when the answers are and have been all along within; what is missing is the essential, the accidental - aplenty!
The above is expansive - not confined to relationships or marriage but other areas of one's daily ... and what have you.
This is my experience observation and understanding, that's all
Superimposed on a circle - one can only understand and transcend, one cannot improve on a circle!
The first ripple .... watch and ....
This transcends psychology!
Lest its miscontrued, i m not against marriage or ... its the LACK WITHIN that i opine
you are full of crap....only folks like you choose to remain to be ignorance.
So what make you a "Love Guru" or cross cultured relationship?
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It is fine by me - labelling me does not negate me. i never said i was ... and u are free to be u. Only emphatize that you seem blissfully ignorant !
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wow, u have two people acquainting themselves to ... and it never occurred to me one is carrying the burden of India and the other is carrying the burden of China. If they are, two doomed cows!
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TS, I think her parents, or maybe your parents, would be concern about the skin color of the baby if u had one with her.
Think Michael Jackson's song.
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Parents concerns are understable. However, hopefully all parents can understand that it is unwise to impose their prejudices, bigotry or burden their children to be what they think is 'good' for them. Of course, it presupposes that two persons (are or) can reconcile to these social divides and transcend and still be ok.
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Parents concerns are understandable. ....
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
Parents concerns are understandable. ....
until you are in a cross cultured relationship and married to one and put yourself in the position i suggest you stop imposing opinion on this threads.Because it make you look like a piece of shit from my perspective.
You are most welcome to compare relevancy...on this subject matters.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
Parents concerns are understandable. ....
Human Prejudice of any race for whatever reasons are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
There are indians woman who are burned for Honor Killings because refusal of match married
There are indians woman who match make for few months and ask for divorce because they were rape by their "husband"
There are Chinese who gave up their baby because Parents rejected cross cultured relationship given up adoption all because of Historical sterotype of another race and prejuidices.
SO until you wake up that PARENTS are nothing more than any human being that carries Prejudices thru sterotype And THEY CAN BE WRONG TOO!
Until we stop perpectual Parent's Prejudices. Re-learned as a human being.
So stop being some morale guru......because you sound like a Pig in the Animal Farm.
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As it ever occurred to you that your u are being divisive as and it is apparent (and palpable) that you seem to be harbouring some latent discontent with u.
However, that is your predicament. And you are free to spout all that comes to you - it is you and u are being u what u type here. To reject outrightly, what one knows not or lacks insight is the highest form of ignorance.
By judging - u are not defining what another is (in this instance, me) or . .. but defining what you are.
Like i mentioned before, i offer my views, opinions n what have u. u are free to be u just as others are. If it does not resonate of u or does not with u - lump it.
PS - One's mirror that is thick with the dust of the past, cannot see clearly what is. One only sees what one wants to see, hence one misses! One cannot respond to what is. One merely reacts and all one does is use the past. Of course, the past is dead, it is only alive in the mind. The wise knows and accepts that the illusion of certainty cannot co-exist with existential uncertainty. At the most, one is clutching at straws of certainty!
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atb
