Don't understand Guys
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Slow down, girl....
Be not in a hurry to settle down. Give this friendship a chance. It is only friendship. You are not beholden to him in any way, and fully free to start a serious relationship with another, while still dating him. You are not married to him, or even a steady gf.
Give yourself a chance to grow too, to find out and explore different characteristics of the opposite sex and finally settling on one whom you can be assured of a future with.
If he is the one, and you are very sure, then that courage will come, for no human will want to let go of something good or it may be lost forever....
There is no need to feel sad, but rather, ask yourself what have you to lose by sharing your feelings with him?
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Slow down, girl....
Be not in a hurry to settle down. Give this friendship a chance. It is only friendship. You are not beholden to him in any way, and fully free to start a serious relationship with another, while still dating him. You are not married to him, or even a steady gf.
Give yourself a chance to grow too, to find out and explore different characteristics of the opposite sex and finally settling on one whom you can be assured of a future with.
If he is the one, and you are very sure, then that courage will come, for no human will want to let go of something good or it may be lost forever....
There is no need to feel sad, but rather, ask yourself what have you to lose by sharing your feelings with him?
i totally agree..... -
hi all,
Thought i will give you guys an update since i have not written for sometime. Well basically i kinda wrote my feelings to him and was really happy that he responded the same. However ,things remained to be disappointing because up till today, he still didn't officially ask me to be his girlfriend and also never attempt to hold my hand. Haiz, needless to say, i am so very the dsiappointed. I don't know what else to do. I wish some expert can help me there. What else can i do because i find myself stooping lower and lower to the extent that i find him starting not to appreciate me liao. As i am a very focused person, i don't think i can date other guys while at the same time trying to make this work.
Someone, please help me! Truly appreciate.
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Why dont you just simply enjoy all the time spent with him in the movies/dinner and try to understand him better, the harder you try to make yourself likable to him the more you are not being yourself and the more desperate you will look in his eyes and he'll start to lose respect in you.
if you really like/admire him why don't you ask him if you can be together with him, i dont see why being proactive is a purely male prerogative
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Both of u are 'testing' waters lar. In other words, means to an end. What is the end only u know and he knows.
My suggestion - enjoy the 'trip' and forget about the end(s). If u feel uneasy, lump it.
PS - love if it becomes or is made exclusive is not love lar - but something else masquerading as love.
Previous posting to another :
One cannot possess love, it is always bigger than one. Assuming one has it within - one can at most, share, appreciate or partake of what is ... . Of course, it is possible to possess a person in the guise of love; what good is a dead, plastic flower?
The heart hankers for eternity, sadly, the mind interprets permanency!
Hence possessiveness comes into play. PS - Words are 'birds' - the word 'love' is not love, the word 'God' is not God, and the word 'fire' of course, is not fire. Love is an existential herenow experience n the heart resonates that which 'frees' or is freeing. Love abides ONLY when reason(s) and fear(s) are not there. Where there is an ego there is no love but needs,expectations, jealousy, comparison .....
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Originally posted by Savannah:
Thought i will give you guys an update since i have not written for sometime. Well basically i kinda wrote my feelings to him and was really happy that he responded the same. However ,things remained to be disappointing because up till today, he still didn't officially ask me to be his girlfriend and also never attempt to hold my hand. Haiz, needless to say, i am so very the dsiappointed. I don't know what else to do. I wish some expert can help me there. What else can i do because i find myself stooping lower and lower to the extent that i find him starting not to appreciate me liao. As i am a very focused person, i don't think i can date other guys while at the same time trying to make this work.
Someone, please help me! Truly appreciate.
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What does the above translate to in English? Someone care to ... thanks
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I also dun understand gers lol
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Oops, i meant i dont understand nor can i read Mandarin!
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i don't really how to translate it. Appreciate the translation too.
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I dunno why gers like to nag and nag, like to gossip behind people back.
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i don't think i was gossiping because i really needed some advice.
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not your bf
just go ahead and go out with other guys lor
i go out with my friends (girl) 1 on 1 means i'm selfish?
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Firstly don't restrict yourself. You make it such that you deny yourself choices.
When you buy a dress, or a handbag, or shoes you choose carefully.
Do you choose as carefully when it comes to bf?
Always remember when you have no choice, you will fell for the one that's there.
Many kidnapped people finally fell for their kidnapper because of that.
Are you giving yourself choices. Have you known other boys?
Please don't fall for the first one that comes along.
Please date other boys before you lose that right.
You will never understand guys (and even other people).
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Originally posted by soleachip:
Translation (may/may not be 100% accurate; peoples assist me please X)... )-->
"As I'd said before many times over, since boy-girl relationships are always akin to 'the hunter and the prey', therefore, it's always the male hunter chasing the female prey. When do you ever have the prey jumping right before the hunter, grabbing his gun barrel, even pushing the barrel into (her) own breasts? (If) faced with such a situation, would he (the hunter) not (have) fear?"
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Originally posted by Savannah:
hi all,
Thought i will give you guys an update since i have not written for sometime. Well basically i kinda wrote my feelings to him and was really happy that he responded the same. However ,things remained to be disappointing because up till today, he still didn't officially ask me to be his girlfriend and also never attempt to hold my hand. Haiz, needless to say, i am so very the dsiappointed. I don't know what else to do. I wish some expert can help me there. What else can i do because i find myself stooping lower and lower to the extent that i find him starting not to appreciate me liao. As i am a very focused person, i don't think i can date other guys while at the same time trying to make this work.
Someone, please help me! Truly appreciate.
if the more action u take, the less reaction he gives. so why not take the risk of not doing anything and letting him do the work?
on the other hand, if u need a conclusion right away because the vague guessing game isn't ur cup of tea, why not just clarify directly?
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Originally posted by AYYX:
Translation (may/may not be 100% accurate; peoples assist me please X)... )-->
"As I'd said before many times over, since boy-girl relationships are always akin to 'the hunter and the prey', therefore, it's always the male hunter chasing the female prey. When do you ever have the prey jumping right before the hunter, grabbing his gun barrel, even pushing the barrel into (her) own breasts? (If) faced with such a situation, would he (the hunter) not (have) fear?"
thanks AYYX.
apologies to fugazzi and savannah for not translating the original column written in mandarin.
by making the first move and relating her heavy loving feelings for the guy, TS may have scared him off. but that's just The Theory.
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R U interested in him?
If not let me have his number and advice him to cut the loss and stop going out with you
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Originally posted by soleachip:
thanks AYYX.
apologies to fugazzi and savannah for not translating the original column written in mandarin.
by making the first move and relating her heavy loving feelings for the guy, TS may have scared him off. but that's just The Theory.
No probs.
You can make it up to them by typing in Chinese characters for translation/ explaining "nan zui nu ge cheng shan, nu zui nan ge cheng sa" as Mr Dracas mentioned. haha =P
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Thanks for the replies so far. They were helpful and i think i will stop doing things for him for now because i agree with soleachip that the more i do for him, the less reaction i get from him. I am quite tired actually though i still do not wish to give this up. Let's see if his attitude changed for the better or it gets worse. I will definitely update all again!
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Originally posted by Savannah:
Thanks for the replies so far. They were helpful and i think i will stop doing things for him for now because i agree with soleachip that the more i do for him, the less reaction i get from him. I am quite tired actually though i still do not wish to give this up. Let's see if his attitude changed for the better or it gets worse. I will definitely update all again!
Take a break ba. At your rate, confirm burn out de.
Have a Kit-Kat!~~ XD*awaiting next episode*... lalala~~~ =3
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That's true. I do feel burnt out. Yeah, i hope to bring good news =)
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When one's sea of love within is frozen, only the axe of self-love of is needed!
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Originally posted by Savannah:
unfortunately i havent mustered the courage to ask him if he was dating me exclusively. I guess i wont put any hope into this "relationship" because it just appears to me that it is heading nowhere. Sad truth.
If he is not interested in you, he might be....gay.
That is what my friend who is gay do, asking the other girls out for movies when he is bored during weekends.